SPOOOOKIE!

BAAAAAA!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HALLOWEEN IS FINELY HERE AND I AM SO EXCITED I COULD JUST DIE. Guess what I'm being tonite?? Thnx for all your ideas you guys, especially readers Kari, Rachel and Emily who totally inspired me. Gonna be seriously nuts since we have eleven parties to go to, NOT EVEN INCLUDING THE TRUNKERTREAT!

But, totally have a plan: Three seperate costumes tonight! Haven't boughten a new suuuuuper cute bikini in a while so splurged for one and my (coy whisper-voice "girlz" while pointing to my chest) are a little bigger than usual these days so def excited to play that up w/ the following:

Parties 1-4: Merrrrmaid! Just as hot-enhancing as Malibu barbie in a green bikini but less chilly bc I have super cute bright green sequin gills glue-gunned on to oober tight leggings!! That I'll severely crop when it's time for...

Parties 5-8 where's we'll be Adam and Eve! Same as Ariel but nakeder!! So fun to barely cover the essentials but with such a noble purpose! THEN we'll just roll me in body glitter and then JJWT will give me a perma-piggy back as he carries me around to....

Parties 9-12 as his TROPHY WIFE!!

BAA! Hope your Halloween is awesome, too! Have sooooo freaking much to do today, totally gotta go...not only do I need to bring ghost-shaped cookies to JJWT's class and hit up SpookySpinning at Golds AND not only do I need to get our darling homemade bags ready (I'm going to hang 'em from my belly for when we take the feti tricker treating before the parties) but I have GOT to talk Yvette out of being a pumkin or she'll be spinstied forEVER. Should someone like her seriously use an opp like this to look even ROUNDER??

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

(Sometimes I say it like "Hall" instead of "Hal" when I say I'm not from here, bc I lived out of state til I was 8 months old)

fluent in lurve

What the TRAUMA-MAMA!

Used to think grumpo preggers hormones were totally made up as some dumb excuse for my downer friends to hate the world because they were fat, but now I have totally gained a testimony of the preggo grumpies bc this weekend I felt sad and mad for no reason! NOT like me who is usually seriously all the time happy!

My emotional bank acct was drained and depositless so I knew what I had to do: I snuck the quiz about which of the 5 love languages you speak inside my scriptures and took it during sacrament! No one could even tell bc I used my red seminary pencil and folded the paper so it fit perfect inside my triple and the whole time I took it, I did my ponder-pout so everyone probably thinks I'm Miss Scriptorian USA! Get the sash! LOL! Anyways, good thing I took the quiz bc my empty love tank just filled right up with amazingness! In case your not familar, the languages are compliments, nuzzles, stuff, time and service. So deep and so true!

Literally shocked me, but would you believe my primary language is stuff? Brought me SOOOO much peace to finally know that bc it means now when I demand Anthro trips I'm really just showing my lurve :)!! So glad to have my needs validationed.
Angelbabe's is service (YAWN), but I'm trying to learn to speak it (even though its laaaaaaaame), soooo I signed up to bring a compassionate service meal to some geezer who just had her like 6th kid. Hope they like Lean Pockets!!

kay, JAZZ!

So, what're you guys doing Monday morning from 9 to 10?

After me and the other wives club gals drop off 50 stethoscope-and-briefcase decorated cupcakes to our hubby's class to celebrate that there are only 50 days left in the semester, we're all getting no-fat smoothies THEN at 9 AM we're going to watch Julie de Azevedo Hanks' Talk Show on KJZZ called "Home Team: You & Me Monday" where they are going to talk about this blog and why people read it at 9 AM. I'll even be on the phone. BAAAA!!! Blogging is the BEST.

Afterwards, we'll probably do tons of jogging in case we snuck a taste of full-sugar frosting, and do that cool thing where I put my ginorm wedding ring on a string and hang it over my belly and if it glows like a YWs medallion its girls and if it makes the shape of "A.P." its boys.

electronic zen!

L-O-V-E my life! (not a command) My prenate yoga class = all about about getting to know ourselves better, so I've taken this opp to reflect on who I am and what I stand slash shoot for in the best mode of self-reflection I know: ONLINE QUIZES! Guys what do you think? Accurate?? No?? So neat to just take time for ME for once!

Holy shiz. Your quiz results are so off the charts, our results are malfunctioning as the whole Internet unites in one giant collective BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Your Vibe is Super Sexy You feel 100% sexy at almost any moment And this inner sexiness really does boost your appeal. You're confident, playful, outgoing n adorable. Wait a sec, are you preggo? If so, you're the sexiest preggy EVER! 0% Geek Your Attitude is Better than 99% of the Population Whoa-ly moly! Somebody knows The Secret! Attitude determines altitude and you’re like Mt Everest around here. Talk about the total opposite of a downer! Your winner attitude means you’ll pretty much have the best life ever. You prolly already do. I Scored a 0%! You Are Smokin' Hot Dang, girl! You exude steam slash sizzle like a fajita platter of righteous heat! You Are a Super Diva Some may complain about your diva ways, but who the H cares? Nothing wrong with demanding the best and being darling. Treat yourself for once--poor thing!

You Are 182% Vain

ALERT! ALERT! NO MORTAL HAS EVER SCORED THIS HIGH BEFORE!

What Asian Country Should You Visit? You Should Travel to Japan

You'll love Asia and fit right in because you're skinny, fashionable and heart Hello Kitty. Not to mention all the Asian you've picked up over the pedis! And who knows? Token Asian Friend, *MARY* and Grumpy Angel might even show you around!

YIKES! Sometimes the Internet knows me so well it's freaky like a weejee board, but deep instead of evil. What're you're results???

In the Hallow of his hand

Okay, just for a point of clarification since everyone was flipping out about my lack of ring in my darling 15 week preggo belly pic...NO I am NOT bloating! Took that pic @ the gym and my personal policy is that I never wear my ring at the gym. No particular reason.


Hi guys! Seriously need like a buttload of help because I only have like > than 8 days to come up with the BEST Halloween costume EVER! Want everyone who see's me to say, "Whoa-ly cow! Who's THAT!?!" (in an awesome way, not weird). Also want to receive (minimum) 5-7 respectful whistles throughout the nite. Help!


Requirements: sassy, darling, original, acceptably skanky. Not like GROSS skanky, but a little like "Geez, whoa, cute, I didn't know that was even ALLOWED" kind. Just can't decide! A sexy clown? A spandex-wearing mole-free witch? A cowgirl? A bedazzled nurse? A surfer? A modest french made with tons of values? HELP!

BOOed (the nice kind)

Seriously you guys, I am so in love with FHE! Our neighbor "booed us" which was neat but totally gross of them, I mean, the rice krispy treats were yum but generic (not that I had any, I just sniffed JJWT's before he ate 'em) and the paper with a ghost on it was ok but sad bc it was just a photocopy, zero sassy. Love sassy. Had to totally redo the poem so it was fab instead of lame. You can tell whoever it was isn't an extra miler. Unless it was you. In which case, LOVE YOU and THANX for totally making my day! :)

Anyway, the poem said to pass it on which I took to mean make it awesome. Baked up some homemade pretzels from TOTAL scratch in a few minutes (takes most people all day) then dipped them in yummy-nummy chocolate and cut Splenda-sprinkles into the shape of itty bitty kitty cats and witch hats and rolled them in car-mull and put them in different colored baggies and took each paper and punctured them with uniquely-shaped hole punches and attached them to each baggie, THEN cut out the tops of the bags to look like witches hat's!! Bummer there aren't Halloween-themed scriptures or church quotes or it would of been even better. But, L-O-V-E HOW THEY TURNED OUT. Then I added a bumload of black fringe and stamped up the following poem:

We started to carve a pumkin
with our carving knife and scoop
But the pumkin got so scared
he took a little poop.

It looked so cute and funny
and good enough to eat!
So we brought it to you
for a Halloweenie treat!

My hub and feti are the best
Though this I bet you know
Hope you luv all these ell-bees
Since you can't afford Anthro.

LOL! :)

Anyway, I didn't want them to know it was me, BUT I also didn't want to miss the opp to network, so I went ahead and stuck a label for my home-based party consultant biz on the bottom. What do you think, new tradition?

you just never no!!

(Way sorry for the technical difficulties guys, but you can listen to the recent bloggy panel my cute self was on Thursday as part of Access Utah's UPR radio show by clicking here or by visiting the link on my sidebar right over there --->)


Hi guys! Know what is SO WEIRD? Everyone keeps asking if our been preggo was an accident or a suprise or what. Seriously, everyone wants to now about our nuzzle-life! SHEESH! Hate to talk about private stuff and honestly, anyone who knows me knows self absorbation makes me cry, but bc you guys are my e-BFFs and BEGGING to know and its only the Internet so not that many ppl'll see this, I'll tell you.


Seriously, we don't know how it happened!


TOTAL SUPRISE! Don't really want to call (as my e-friend Whitney R would say) "sliding down the baby slide from heaven" an ACCIDENT, but seriously we were NOT planning on it and TOTAL SHOCK raised through my vains when I realized we were preggers! Member how I didn't need to take a test, but just felt that special baby filling and knew our little munchkin bean gummi bears were inside there!!?! So weird we got preggy since I was on the quote on quote pill. Hadn't taken it in a couple weeks cuz I kept spacing it, but I still had them ON my dresser which means I was technically on it! Seriously, what are the chances!??! So glad slash shocked are very own Wholesome Twins are on their ways!!

Anyways, trying to show how greatful I am for the best suprise miracle piece of womb-awesome ever by tanning tons to help incubate 'em. My uterine oven + the tanning bed oven = double baked tater twins.

dee-bate GROUP HUG!

YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE TAMNERS ON YESTERDAY'S ACCESS UTAH RADIO SHOW BY CLICKING RIGHT HERE.

Guys! Lurve you! Sorry it's been FOREVERS since I posted!!!! Bad I know! Don't hate me! No excuse accept way busy!! My darling hub AngelBabe-ers tried to make me watch the dee-bate last night...BOAR-RING!! Why would I want to watch it when you already know my poli-tickle opinions?? But even though scarry slash boring current events are lame-o, I'm an unfaultering wife so I sat by him while HE watched, but def zoned out for most of the yawners like taxes, schools, war...seriously, HELLO, talk about something RELEVANT and INTERESTING. How out of touch are they!? Do they even WATCH The Hills or Biggest Looser? Anyways, it went on for freaking ever and at the end while I was twirling my cute hair and rubbing my teensy belly I saw this:


Ack! Grampy McCain had a lizard face seizure!! Sad! And Brock looks way mad or sad. Wish everyone could win! Conflict is the WORST! In the law/biz/med/dental skewl wives club we do hilarious slash zany awards, we make sure everyone gets one, so I hope whoever doesn't get enough votes will still get some kind of prize bc I would totally cry if I lost (not that I would) and I don't want to see either of these dudes melt down. Did Mitt get anything??

GUESS WHAT!?!?!

One of your e-BFFs is going to be on the radio and her name starts with T and ends with AMN and is darling and preggo with the hottest twin feti ever and loves Pal, awesomeness and the plan!! Yours truely will be on Access Now on Utah Public Radio, Utah's NPR friend, Thursdee at 9 AM and again at 7 PM w/ some other people talking about blogs. Click here to listen and then let's totally chat about it over pedis mmmkay??

SHRIEK OUT W/ ME!!

Does this call for a diet coke or WHAT? Way bad i know but guys, its a special ocassion and the feti metabolize it at like the speed of lite.

if you missed it, it will be on again at 7 PM (visit www.upr.org) to figure out how to listen and I'll post a link when it's up on they're website. Love you!

Letting my light shine!

cHeCk iT oUt gUyS!! ToTaLly mAdE a dArLiNg wOrDlE frOm wOrDlE.nEt!

(you can click on it to make it bigger guys)

i'M bAsIclY aN arTiSt nOw!! AnY gOoD tAMniSms mIssInG??!? NeEd iT tO bE peRfEcT bc I'm tHiNkInG aBoUt mAkInG tHiS iNtO a bOoKmArK fOr tHe YoUnG wOmEnS!

preggers DRAMA

BEST. WEEKEND. EVER.

Through a diner party! Cooked a bumload of yummies for some of our CCFs and it was a total blast! Literally couldn't of been awesomer! Someone emailed me the Rio recipe which (of course) I made w/o even rilly trying and not to brag but everyone said mine was better which was totally true! BAAAA! Anyways, we took like a gimungous number of pics of ourselves being hardcore and playing Rock Band and everything was ridiculously awesome untill...

....


...I started asking this other preggo chica there if she was nervy about labor. Not to be rude but she was seriously HUGE so I figured she was due like next week, only suprise, we're the same amount of weeks.


Um, awkward. Not to mention SAD.


We're way close of friends but things got a little weird when I said next time I'd make us sushi (which I do way well, but I didn't say that) and she said "Um, I don't know if you know this but your not supposed to eat sushi while you're preggo." Thanks, downer. So I said "Um, I don't know if you know this but your not supposed to be so huge." I smiled after so she knew not to take it personal, but she still bawled her head off and I about died.

I meant it nice, you guys!! Didn't mean it RUDE. She's super darling (at least, she use to be) and we're way close so I was suprised she got so ticked. But, it worked out good bc I was able to use my patient response to her lame preggo hormone overreaction as an example of forgiveness, which "just so happened" was the YW lesson! SO greatful for the empathy I was able to take away from that experience. I mean, can't rilly blame her for crying. Guess it isn't very fair for her since she's double my bigness and I'm double her cuteness.

nickname my darling feti, PLZ!

Hellllp! I'm busy having the best weekend of my LIFE (we couldn't be happier) but somethings missing and that something is...

...

NICKNAMES FOR THE FETI! Seriously guys, what do I call 'em while there still inside? Snookums and Sugie? Bean and Other Bean? Brandon and Brenda? Hubba and Bubba? Jimmy and Pam? Pumkin and Pumkin?? Does it need to rhyme or is starting with the same letter enough?? Ack! Hard deciding but these cuties need the BEST NICKNAME OF ANY FETI EVER. I keep thinking of one name but then can't think of another that goes with. Sooooo greatful to have e-BFFs to turn to. Winner can be my doola!

J/K :)

Economic Roler Coaster!!

Rather not think about bummers BUT since tons of my e-BFFs are worried AND all my girls in the school wives club look to me as there leader, here goes...


All anyone's talking about these days is bell-outs! PUKE!


If your bummed about Wall Street and the feds spending a bumload of cash on ugly houses or whatever (details weird me out), never fear, TAMN is here! For an immediate short-term fix, trust me, a carb fest will help a ton. Seriously, everyone just relax and scarf some roles and pasta. In an emergency, come over to my place and will bust into my year's supply of Orbitz, and if you can't afford a pedi we'll get the MiaMaids on it stat. Longer term, CHILL OUT! The economy binged and now it's just gotta purge. Trust me...our houses and handbags'll be bigger and better than ever in zero time. How does TAMNers know this, you ask???


Guys, the same thing totally happened to Britney.


It's like a modern-day pride cycle, and those ALWAYS work out well. Remember how Brit was awesome and hot with a rockin' bod and cute boys loved her, then all of a sudden she was a fat druggie hag clawing at camras and her cutie kids had to go with creepy thugged-out K-Fed while she was in germy downer rehab? Remember how all the quote-un-quote experts said her carreer was over, they said she'd totally crashed and burned and there was no hope and the years of riotis living had caught up with her, end of story??


YOU GUYS! IT'S JUST LIKE THE ECONOMIES!


All the so-called experts are flipping out, shrieking "It's gonna be worse than the Great Depression!" (which honestly, would it be that bad?? Black and white is cool, everyone was super skinny back then AND raggy = vintage = HOT so I say, bring it! My forlorn slash hungry pout is one of my cutest). Anyways, everyone saying the economies are toast is just like when everyone said fatty Brit was here to stay. Guess what, America!? Haters were wrong! Did you SEE all those VMAs and how she's hot again??? Have you LOOKED at the top 10 on itunes lately?? Just like Britney, the econ's gonna come back hotter than EVER. So ok, maybe we as a nation have to go through our own custody probs, psychyatric evals, bad slash crazy hairdos, etc., but then the USA will have its own economic version of BRITNEY IS FREAKING BACK!

Our economy now:

Our economy soon:

to my gorgeous feti, w/ a bumload of luv

October 7, 2008


My little darling shrimp-size feti,


Hi babies! Just want you guys to know, in case you read this blog, that we are way, way STOKED for your lifes! Seems like just yesterday we felt deep in our hearts that you were planted as luscious future feti plants in my fertile wombgarden with daddy's resilient seed. Can't believe only 188 more days til I birth you! Nobody can believe there're two of you bc I am still SUPER skinny but I don't make a big deal about how hot my hot bod is so as not to make others covetis but seriously, I look great, even at 13 weeks, not whaley like most of my preggo friends. Seriously, fetuses, want you to have it better than I ever did so I'm working way hard to make sure you ALWAYS, no matter what, have the hottest mom out of any of your classmates. Sometimes I hum Saturday's Warrior's "Pulling together we can work it out" as a little lullabye in case your singing along in heav'n. I've also been plugging my iphone's headphones into my belly button and playing Beethoven, Baby Einstein, Teach Yourself Chinese and Michael McLean to help excelerate your geniuses.


Anyways, we don't yet know if you'll be little boys or little girls or both (like one of each, NOT like hermfrodiet, sick, you will DEFINATELY not be gross slash weirdos)!! We're going to the mall to find out soon! But if your girls you'll be cutest princesses ever and if your boys you'll be total studs. Either way you'll be besties so thanx a TON for choosing our fam. Can't wait for you to get out so I can squeeze you so hard (in a loving way) and pierce your ears/glue bows on your head or surround you with sports related objects.


Love always,
Mommers

confrince, winners, and confrince winners

Seriously you guys, what a great weekend! How great was confrince?? Want to know who won?? (R-rolling drumrollllll....) Put your hands together for our winners!

• A gorgeous and useful ModMum baby sling goes to SLSPJ from 10/5 at 1:19 PM who said "Okay, with the day I had yesterday, I seriously need some sunshine, so could you be so kind as to make like a sunbeam and wash out my cruddy dayness!"
  
• The $50 GC from The Blog Frog people goes to Shewi128 from 10/3 at 11:40 AM who said "I am so into your giveaways-- for rills! Plz sign me up...except for the ones in the "promised land"..I've gone apostate and have moved out of Utah.
  
• The num num nummy gourmet cookies from The Sweet Tooth Fairy go to Brooklyn Norton from 10/3 at 9:50 AM who said "really i just want to be you."
  
• The custom birth announcements or holiday cards from Daisy Beatty Photography go to: Mandy from 10/3 at 9:53 AM who said "I so want to win this time. I FINALLY got PREGGERS!! After 3 years, it finally happened!"
  
• The two BYU football shirts from Frockly go to hollibilly from 10/3 11:11 AM who said "That is WAY too generous. You are definitely in line to become the next RS Prez for the church!"
  
• The portrait sesh and free 8x10 from Green Apple Photography go to court from 10/5 at 1:05 PM who said "I would love to win any of these wonderful prizes!"
• The darling red crayon bag and magnet activity board from Tikakids goes to Ryan and Erin from 10/3 at 9:14 AM who said "Puhleeeease hook me up with a sweet gift!! My baby made me get a little frumpy=frowny."
• The Halloween vinyl fun from ScribbleIt goes to erica from 10/3 at 10:25 PM who said No...WAY! You said "linger longer" and I'm TOTALLY planning a linger longer in my ward."
  
• The 5-pack of Line Upon Line greeting cards goes to Misty from 10/3 at 12:38 PM who said "Just let me win already. I know patience is a virtue but let's be honest for just a bit..."
  
• Any toy up to $25 from Tender Cargo goes to Katy from 10/5 at 12:30 PM who said "Oh.my.heck. I was in a conference coma, and I'm so glad I felt prompted to check your blo."
  
• The 30-min photog sesh from Blue Lily Photography goes to Sariah from 10/5 at 11:29 AM who said "Oh. My. Gosh. There are so many entries here that I doubt anyone will even READ my comment, much less pick me to win, but I have to try anyway."
  
• Two hip and wonderful slips from Vintage Hem are for Stacey from 10/5 at 6:03 PM who said "First time 'commenter'...long time reader who knows the secret and who is gonna win something AWESOME!!"
  

CONGRATULATIONS BIG WINNERS! Email me at seriouslysoblessed at yahoo dot com to arrange to collect your loot, and go blog about it to let all your friends know your life = bliss! But everyone else, do not despare! You're a winner too bc a) you read my blog and b) I consider you an e-BFF...GROUP E-HUG!!

Anyways, seriously the mish reunion was the best ever. Not only was I DEFIANTLY the hottest wife, AND not only did we show everyone our laminated 7-D ultrasounds, AND not only did I see JJWT's old comp Johnson who wrote me for like 15 months and he's BALD now (lol), AND not only did I take tons of notes on stuff the prez's wife did slash said slash wore so I'll be ready when the time comes, but the prez took JJWT aside and told him he was always his very fave!! BAAA! JJWT told me not to tell but whatever, it was too awesome to keep it a secret...just don't tell anyone else kay? Guess this means we'll be back in Brasilia in 5 to 10 if you know what I mean. Gotta go run like forty errands so I'll tell you more later about Sat's GNO and the rest of conf and how I wasn't really listening during conf but then got a text telling me a couple speakers gave us church-texters a shout-out which is awesome! BAAA!! I've been saying it's cool since before texts even started existing so I'm glad some big-deals finally agree. Love you!

quote on quote Grandma

Holy cow guys, thanx for all the Ruth advice!! I am the luckiest girl in the world I swear! Not like bee or eff or H or anything, but swear like, I totally mean what I say when I say that I am the luckiest girl!! Not only do I have two hot twin feti, the best hubby ever and just an all-around way blessed life, but I also have the opp to learn a ton of patience with this whole Ruth marriage thing!! Definately have no attention of leaving the poor yawner alone to fester in her frumpy. Totally just have to sit Ruth down, take her under my proverbrial wing and make her see eyeliner to eyeliner with me on how to have a non-lame-O life. It's not that she's BAD purr-say, just that she's BORING. Better get that Subaru on KSL classifieds stat...it's Escalade time!! Your welcome in advance, future friend! Totally dredding that convo but it's GOTTA happen you guys.

Reader Motorcycle Grandma brought up this important question: "When your hot fetus starts talking at a real early age like five months, what is he/she going to call yours and JJWT's parents? Something really cute and special, I hope, since they will be the most blessed grandparents in the world. "

NO KIDDING!!!

i GOTTA talk to Ruth, if only bc we have to agree on what our kids are gonna call JJWT's parents!! Better choose something soon for all the letters and cards we'll write pretending they're from our unborn children, not to mention all the paint your own pottery stuff we're into!! Seriously, let's figure this out. What do YOU call your cute grandparents? What should we call JJWT and me's parents??!? It's gotta be young, hip, darling, and most importantly look ridiculously DARLING on a custom stamp for stampin.