my big day, Part roma numeral 2

If you missed part I, start paying attention!!!

Part II

Giving birth was the hardest but most easiest thing of my life. Don't worry, when your a mom, you'll understand, but if your already a mom, you still don't really get it like I do bc mine is so recent. No offense. Going natural {bc they came out of my body, as apposed to adoption} was an amazing experience and its given me tons of eternal prospective.

So we get to the hospital {after getting a DC for the way, special occassion} and as we checked in I asked my frenemy the beeotch receptionist to take a couple dozen pics of us. She's all, I doubt your in labor, your posing like a premee-donna. Rude!
In response, I just totally started lamozz breathing and crying and shouting, "OUCH, MY PERINEAL IS BURNING!" It actually didn't even hurt yet, but I defiantly didnt want to risk getting the drugs too late and almost dying from pain. Soooo greatful for medicine, and acting.

So, I finally got my epi (I wasn't "technically" "dialated" but one of my dad's doctor friends took care of it), then we talked in baby voices about our love and whether our feti were still in heaven holding hands and singing Saturday's Warriors {who are these children coming down??} and how we were glad they made such good choices to be rewarded w/ entering such a good looking, wealthy home with a buff dad and matching PB cribs. CuddleBear and me commented on how we felt so blessed that this special experience could be so private and my mom, MIL, sisters, SILs, cousins, VTs, wive's club friends, book club friends, bunc/ko friends and HS friends all agreed.

A whole nother tender mercy was two TVs so CuddleLips watched March Madness while I watched Jon & Kate plus 8 reruns at the simultanious time. Honestly, I have the BEST husband EVER, sooo greatful he was seriously the biggest support to me during the commercials.

After a couple hours, I whispered to the feti that there was only one long, dark, moist slip'n'slide between them and a lifetime of Pal memories and I think they heard us! Bc all of a sudden I had a special poop-my-designer-hospital-gown feeling. "BAAAAA!" I shouted, "Holy literal crap! I fill like I'm about to go #2!!!" The DTD and darling nurses came scrambling in and said "Don't push just yet cutie! Your almost there!"

This was it.

I knew it would be tough bc I was cursed slash blessed with a really dainty pelvis. I put aside my US Weekly, turned down the Top 9 AI playlist I was meditating to, took out my white strips, added a couple more mascara coats, visualized the new tickers I could add to my sidebar and how many YW lessons I could use this moment in for the rest of my life, clenched my teensy fists and grunted: "Don't disappoint me, feti!"

My acrylic nails doug into my palms as I tensed, pushed, then heard a ginormous squelchy-slurp noise.

"Holy Shiz!" shouted LoverButtocks, smearing Purel on his big worthy hands.
"I see one of them!"

my big day, Part I

THERE HERE!!

Thanx to JJWT for pitch-hitting for me on our blog, thanx to each and every one of you who left me awesome comments! lurve you a billion! Ok, I have to seriously cover this in parts or I'll never get through it bc I'm a rEaL mOm now and busy but hello, need to journal my big day. It was the hardest and yet easiest thing of my life, does that make sense? I totally get parenthood now.

Natural childbirth is soooo peaceful slash rewarding.

Soooo lets start @ the beginning. Last week I was like 12 months preggo, buying my time til the feti would exit, getting pedis and going to lunch while thinking about my hardships. My first water-brake thought was i'm sooo greatful not to have april fool's day babies, my second thought was omgosh everyone's going to see my choo-chee, my third thought was yesss, they can announce it THIS sunday instead of waiting til after confrince, my fourth thought was holy crap I better get ready!


So, showered then blowdried my darling/ginorm hair then flat-ironed and then VERY carefully wrapt each strand of hair around the curling iron so it turned out all sassy long and loose. The labor pain was sooo unbareable but this was my first official act as a rEaL mOm, took forever but seriously worth it, these pics are gonna be around a looooong time and no offense, but my mom looks gross and tired in the pics from my birth and cropping her out for my wedding vid was just sad, so I wanted to protect the feti from that. I was already such a mama bear!!

My cramped garden womb was a fist of cringy tightness but still thinking of others I took time to text the RS pres that it looked like we'd be home Sunday nite so she'd probably want to pick up our Rio the night before, then we prayed that no matter what else happens we'll be happy as long as they have hair, then threw my lipgloss and tutus {just in case they were both girls} in my anthro hospital bag and FertileBuns and me were off to the hospital.

too be continued...

crazy

Hey it's me, JJWT.

We're at the hospital. The other day TAMN thought her water broke. I was pumped. I thought I would get to miss scouts. Fakeout. Really, she just pissed her pants. Hahahah! She was a little embarrassed. I cracked up. It broke for real this morning. She says it was a tender mercy she didn't miss either night of American Idol.

Cool.

Anyway. We're here. We left for the hospital right away, after I finished my workout and she did her hair and makeup. This is so gross. Guys out there know what I'm talking about. She was gushing water basically. Soaked my jeep. Sick. She keeps crying for no reason. Girls are so crazy.

The hospital rocks. They even have Xbox hookups. Sweet.

So we're here waiting. She got her epidural stat, before we even sat down. So, we're just kicking it. She can't feel a thing but she keeps screaming and squeezing the crap out of my hand. Hahaha. She says that's how it is in the movies. Girls are crazy. Hope they don't have to do a c-section. She wanted me to tell you all she looks awesome.

This is so nuts. Later.

blogged from my iphone.

uh oh.

Ok, so I

ate garlicky pineapple

on a bumpy road

on the way home from bowling

and then

VirileNugget and me nuzzled like crazy

on the trampoline

after doing tons of dance dance revolution

and thanx for all you're advice guys bc seriously...

I either just P'd my teensy pants or my water broke.

hellllp!

Update: there IS no update!


I know everyone's checking back to see if the feti are here yet, but no I'm STILL preggo and it's making me pouty bc the MiaMaids keep talking about Lynzii's triplets and I need attention, not to mention I have to P like every second. Since I know all my e-BFFs want to hear deets about my girl parts, ya, my cervix is dialated and iffaced and pelvic and all that, and I'm having ginormous Toni Braxton Hix contractions that kick my trash but still no feti.


I want them to be born NOW! Well, after tomorrow's Biggest Looser.


How do I get them to come out quicker? Any advise? I mean, yeah, nuzzle my brains out {which JJWT told me he'd kill me if I blogged about so shhh} but seriously, helllllp!

If you didn't win don't blame me blame the universe

Wow guys! I think you won something.

• The Silverlime GC goes to Steve, Brie, Carson & Landon who said: "I have two boys. I need this." H yeah you do!
  
• The Cultures awesome pedi party kit goes to Mark and Emily who said "I needs to win something...anything, please?!!"
• The darling Cultures Salon mini-makeover goes to jhjonze: "I want to win! Please pick me TAMNERS"
• Sweet Tooth Fairy Treats go to simply kris who said "Like, I was at the park and totally eavesdropped on some other mommy's not watching their kids play... they were talking about this here bloggy..."
  
• Nummy nummy Dream Dinners to Mary who said: "please please please pick me! I just had a 10 and a half pound baby, I deserve it!!!" Um, if my twins are that big I will die.
  
• Two pairs of Baby Legs from Tender Cargo: Janeal who said "OMG I HALF TO WIN THIS GIVE WAY! I heart you TAMNers." and Tim, Laurel and Olivia who said "Ummm... I think I should definately win because I am not a spinsty spinster and I didnt steal your all to perfect for your feti names. Pick Me!!! Puh-leez!"
• Wasatch Family Therapy: The "Cultivating Sexual Desire in Marriage" workshop (WHICH IS TOMORROW in SLC!) and a free counseling sesh goes to TaLaisa who said:
  "*pma(positive mental attitude)channeling*" Hurry and contact me, girlfriend, the workshop is TOMORROW and your hubby with thank you!!
  
• The GC for bows and hats from The Darling Daughter goes to Kristin Wynder who said "umm yes yes and more yes! this preggo momma needs some luvin!"
• The Book Club 4 Boys kit goes to ottspot who said "I love my boys, but I wish I had a girl too - girl clothes and accessories are darling!"
• The gorgeous Baby Coverz diaper bag goes to Liz who said "Please please pick me! Like your comment entry says, I need validation in life, and winning this would completely do that!"

Congrats to the winners! Email me your contact info at seriouslysoblessed at yahoo dot com for info on collecting the loot. Will you plz put what you won in the subject line? Don't want to strain my fallopians.

Everyone eltse, quit crying! There'll be a next time! And, at least your not preggo with twins. Well, unless you ARE preggo with twins in which case at least you don't have Lynzii for a neighbor. Unless you DO have Lynzii for a neighbor in which case at least you don't have a frumpy lame SIL Ruth. Unless you DO, in which case at least you don't have to keep helping a thankless spinsty friend Yvette.

Unless you are all of those things in which case your freaking me out.

Ugh. Am I seriously still preggers!?

I miss Pal

(todays the last day to enter the gIvEawAy so jump on it)

I

{heart}

spring time.

Sooooo greatful the sun is out for once after the world's longest freezing cold winner, but soooo bugged I'm still preggo. STILL. PREGGO.

Ugh.

Guys, seriously, I need a vaycay so bad its disgusteen. Wish so bad that the feti would get here so I can relax again and that JJWT was working at a job that gave us time to kickback and play more rock band.

Instead w/ us being that we're in school it's go go go and only having weekends, afternoons, federal holidays, a month in the winner and three months for summer is
just too much.

burried in green!

((yes you can still enter the march {gIvEaWaY} madness til Thursday so hurry up))


So, usually I make JJWT a seriously awesome lunch {cut his sandwich diagonal aka the love cut, remember? When Angelbabe sees it he knows I love him more than any of his classmates wives love them} but today I went ALL OUT. It was hard bc I am way busy sitting around, BUT I cared enough the time and made green bread and green meat and green veggies and green mustard and green cheese and a whole green sandwich in a green sandwich bag and saved some old carrots so they'd turn green and even put green love notes all over the escalade. How else would he know I lurve him!?

No offense but if you don't go all out for every holiday it's like wearing some ugly sign on your selfish back that says your a bummer of a wife, mother, daughter, friend and person. Not to judge you or anything, just saying.

Anyways, this morning I took a ton of rilly funky arty pics of me posing by the green lunch with my new and way expensive camera. It took FOREVER to gather all the darling stuff in my house to just be casually awesome in the background so that you guys would see how vintage and adorable everything I do is, but it won't let me upload it, ugh!

Trust me, it was adorable.

xtra xtra!

{Check out your e-BFF TAMNers in today's Daily Herald.}

Love love LOVE you guys! Happy Sunday!

it makes me sad when you say i'm depressed

Thanx everyone for saying I'm seriously so skinny.

I know I'm cuter than every other preggo ever (not to brag) but, for me, it's hard to look medium cute when I'm use to looking oober cute, ya know?
I fill yuckers so all your "I've never seen a more darling baby bump" comments mean the whole world to me and help remind me how much uglier everyone else is so thanx.

Not to be a downer but this IS my journal so, ugh. The feti STILL haven't exited yet and I fill seriously like an elephant. I've been having a jillion bebe showers and each one is awesomer than the last and the nursries are the best and I'm seriously just ready and want the feti here now so I can dress them up and have more personal props for my new self-taught camra skills {SO pumped to build my photog portfolio}, but AngelNugget keeps saying he's the head of our home so I can't pop 'em out til after March Madness.

Blah.

36 wks baby bump!

Here's another long overdo belly pic since everyone keeps asking!

Can't believe I'm almost 36 weeks with TWIN feti! Holy crud, I fill like such a whale. Can you believe how ginorm I am? Tubbalardo! But, seriously, the maternity shoot rocked, and I am NOT posting this just to get you to tell me I'm skinny I swear.


{sublinimal message: tell me I'm skinny}

frowny upside downy!

Okay everyone, enough moping! Ya, I had the hardest week EVER, and ya, the Batchelor was a bumout, and ya, I'm self conscience about my trails, but w/ my darling boyfriend (WAY more fun to call him that than husband, lol) and my besties, I'M GONNA GET THRU THIS. Well, bc of them, AND the Footprints email fwds I've been getting. Thanx everybody!

My confession: yesterday's FHE felt so empty w/o the Batchelor. AngelMuffin put on 24 which, blech! Sometimes, I seriously consider secretly breaking up w/ JJWT and then pretend to meet on the Batchelor just so Merica could watch us fall in love {and I could smooch a few other dudes like old times} but then still be with LoverNugget forever, and then our feti could be in People like Trista's, and I could give stakewide firesides about how much America lurved me and my examples. :)

All this brings me 2 the fact that this might blow your mind but I love LOVE love matchmaking! Consequentially, it's time for my own mini-Mo-Matchelor! This will help us get over Jason's lameness and also give all the he-and-she spinsties reading this bloggy a whole nother shot at lurve. The first step is getting a batchelor! Minus the hot tubs and scripting and plus some way high standards, I need a single righteous hottie male for this contest. So if you are one, or if you know one, nominate yourself or a buddy! Send a 100 word or less entry about why you (or the dude your nominating) should be selected to seriouslysoblessed at yahoo dot com with "Mo-matchelor" in the subject line. Dudes excepted til Friday. Love you!

p.s. check me out giving guidance in this week's UVU paper! Brings back way fun memories of the semester I spent there after the first time I dropped out of hair school, which was back when it was called UVSC!

whoa is me.

SORRY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN FOREVER! Total sLaCkEr I know plz don't hate me! Lets catch up.

So, Lynzii came to VT me yesterday and brought tons of chubbifying cookies and was all, Sorry for not being here on the first of the month. And I was like, no problem, you had your babies, congrats but sorry you had to pull an octomom and get fertility shots. And she frownsmiled and was like if it makes you feel better to think that, fine.

AKWARD!

Guys, let's just be real for a sec ok??!

Hate to wine or exagerate and I refuse to throw a pitty-party, but being 34 weeks and 4 days double-prego is the hardest thing anyone has ever done. Ever. No one understands me!! And LoverBucket still goes to school even when I need him to rub my teensy feet, AND I've put on ten ell-bees, AND had to wear maternity pants for the first time today (ew!), AND I have to go to the DTD every week and get, um, (TMI ALERT, TMI ALERT, DON'T READ IF YOU HATE TMI), my ladyparts checked.

And HeartNugget has to get me a new ring bc this week my old one shrunk...wierd. PLUS Yvette's not speaking to me AND all the Bunc/ko girls went on a girls cruise--I'm too preggy to go :(--so, if I want pedis I have to go all alone. Ugh. So, with all these trails AND Lynzii's name stealing AND having to deal with the emotions of the Batchelor this week, now I really don't know what realty shows to believe in anymore, it's hard, but helps me understand the pioneers. Guess it's just preparing me for a life of challenges, like outdoing everyone elses kids birthday parties.

jason is such a looser

GUYS!

Can YOU BELIEVE THE BATCHELOR!?!

Ew.

Jason is so ridiculous and standardless and sad...makes my heart bummer out. I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE IT!

{{mornful inraged sigh}

People who get engaged and then dump their fiance bc they're more into someone else and then make out w/ someone new FIVE SECONDS LATER and fill no remorse about it are SO. LAME.

what. ever.

{{white teeth clench}}


Oh.


Em.


Gosh.


I picked the fetis's names last week but didn't tell a sole bc I wanted to keep them a top secret but somehow she found out. Lynzii had her bratty triplets early this morning and named them MY NAMES that I PICKED already and practically COPYRIGHTED.

She stole my names.

HER babies are now Taeyber, Taeygan and Taggleigh.

It is so on.

life IS a highway!

So its my turn to teach the MiaMaids today on "Supporting Family Members." Unfortunately, the book is kind of a yawner cuz it keeps making it sound like you have to DO the helping instead of GET the helping...ugh. SOOO greatful for personal rev, so I don't have to fill bad about jazzing it up and making it about the Rascal Flats concert HeartNugget took me to this week! LIKE theirs a better way to get support from family members!

I'm bringing the cute concert tees for a centerpiece, and ice-cold cherry cokes for refreshments just like the song {bad I know, but exusable for such a good cause ;)}, a doc so we can listen to all the best songs on my iphone (Rascal's so religous they even say God Bless The Broken Road...IT'S LIKE THEY KNEW I NEEDED THIS LESSON!)!!

Sooo greatful me and Hubalub followed promptings to get strangers to snap our pics the whole night, bc there are tons of darling ones of us smooching, our ginorm kick-A belt buckles, and you can't tell that good from the pics so I might even have Angelbabe come in so we can demonstrate our fave concert move, the belt-hug, where we sway back and fourth for an hour holding e/o's belts! This will prolly be my last lesson pre-feti-exit, so I'm extra greatful to go out with a sassy bang thanx to the twofer I get to share w/ the YW today: not only do concerts help your family support you, PLUS Jessica Simpson opened, so we can have a great discussion about how sad and fat divorce makes people. This lesson is going to rock!

p.s. I still haven't heard from Yvette post-cruise, so for service I might drop off some of the Rascal pics at her place today bc we look so flipping cute in them that would totally cheer her up! Sundays are the best!