But, totally have a plan: Three seperate costumes tonight! Haven't boughten a new suuuuuper cute bikini in a while so splurged for one and my (coy whisper-voice "girlz" while pointing to my chest) are a little bigger than usual these days so def excited to play that up w/ the following:
Parties 1-4: Merrrrmaid! Just as hot-enhancing as Malibu barbie in a green bikini but less chilly bc I have super cute bright green sequin gills glue-gunned on to oober tight leggings!! That I'll severely crop when it's time for...
Parties 5-8 where's we'll be Adam and Eve! Same as Ariel but nakeder!! So fun to barely cover the essentials but with such a noble purpose! THEN we'll just roll me in body glitter and then JJWT will give me a perma-piggy back as he carries me around to....
Parties 9-12 as his TROPHY WIFE!!
BAA! Hope your Halloween is awesome, too! Have sooooo freaking much to do today, totally gotta go...not only do I need to bring ghost-shaped cookies to JJWT's class and hit up SpookySpinning at Golds AND not only do I need to get our darling homemade bags ready (I'm going to hang 'em from my belly for when we take the feti tricker treating before the parties) but I have GOT to talk Yvette out of being a pumkin or she'll be spinstied forEVER. Should someone like her seriously use an opp like this to look even ROUNDER??
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
(Sometimes I say it like "Hall" instead of "Hal" when I say I'm not from here, bc I lived out of state til I was 8 months old)
Garments are optional? Yeeessss.... Thanks for the guidance.
ReplyDeleteSeriously awesome costumes!
ReplyDeleteIs the Mr. going to be a Mer-man a la Zoolander? Have fun!
ReplyDeleteI think that Trophy Wife is the best. The big bewbies will rock that costume!
ReplyDeleteHappy HALL-o-ween!
You are amazing to have so much energy to go to so many parties on the same night, whilst preggers with twinners - scantily clad! My hero.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was preggers I totally went as Eve (after the fall of coarse). That was not the year I went as a pregnant nun (me actually preggers again!) with my husband dressed as a priest with lipstick smeared on his face. It was a hit!
ReplyDeleteWe may as well call you Cher for how many times you'll be changing... and the lack of clothes you'll be changing into for that matter.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to def be the rockinest, hottest, preggo or not, girl at all 11 of your parties!
My coworker and I were just talking about Halloween is clearly a garment-optional occasion.
ReplyDeleteJust like the Emmys, and frankly, any other time where garments hinder your ability to look super cute.
I'm pretty sure it's in the handbook.
It sounds like you are going to be the trophy wife for all your parties tonight!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat costume ideas!
ReplyDeleteHappy Halloween!!!! Have fun tonite
You r so hott TAMN. I'm super jealous but happy for you bc you diserve it!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be a boring sleeping beauty. Why?
ReplyDeleteCause I've only worn it once and I spent 50 bucks on it.
And I'm just going to a ward halloween party... I couldn't get away with rolling in body glitter to be Eve when my bishop will be there.
i had NO idea that HALLoween was g-optional! i could have really skanked it up tonight. maybe next year!
ReplyDeleteoh. my. gosh. You hit it dead on with the whole "garment-optional' bit. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteSo, my sister went as Ariel when we were younger, and I always wanted to be a mermaid ever since then. I've never gotten over sibling envy, and now I have to envy you, TAMN, in your all-over body glitter! If you run out of glitter and sparkly things, totally call me. I've got sparkly eyeshadow that'd be totally perfect.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, like k and/or k said, what's JJWT going as? Prince Eric?
I had no idea G's were optional either for Halloween. Bummer. Better luck next year. This year I am an aquabat!! I am not quite so daring to roll myself in glitter yet.
ReplyDeleteSO cute to go as a preggers Eve! You may not totally look like you're in a "state of innocence" - but you can show off your cute belly and JJWT's pecs!
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome.
ReplyDeleteOnly you could pull of such a fun filled evening and still look fab, TAMN. Have fun!
ReplyDeleteYou will be SO TOTALLY Brittney in TOxic when you roll in that body glitter.
ReplyDeleteThat is the best idea ever! Can I copy?
Just a reminder-
ReplyDeleterighteous underwear is totally optional on Halloween and Formal Night on the cruise. This I know.
Preggers Eve...it even makes sense! She didn't KNOW!
ReplyDeleteIf you started to feel guilty about not wearing your garments, and not like you should...i'm just saying IF you DID...you could always borrow a super fat size and then just tuck them and pin them so not an inch of them showed. That way you'd still be techinachally "wearing" them and you wouldn't have to lie at your recomend interview. Or you could carry them in your purse, just to have them close to you at all times. I know some people just feel so uncomfortable with out them...like they are naked or something.
ReplyDeleteooooober. hee hee hee. My daughter says that all the time. Ha ha That made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteHey, is this really Sue?
I SO didn't know the g's were optional! Thanks so much! Without you I'd still be totally frumpy like spinsty Yvette, only I've found my EC! Lucky me! Now I only have a few hours to change from modest Queen Bee to something skanktastic - the pressure is def on! Good thing I'm nursing my newborn so my girls are looking extra plump!
ReplyDeleteP.S. - Should I let my daughter be skanky too? I made her wear a shirt under her costume at the trunkertreat. Maybe tonight we'll leave it off for the street-walking tricker treating! AWESOME!
i'm glad that you liked my mermaid idea. you'll be so hot tamn.
ReplyDelete(*_*)
ReplyDeleteSo happy to hear that garments are optional. I've been stressin' all week trying to figure out how to tuck in my garments so that they aren't noticeable under my Victoria's Secret Angels costume. Relief!!!
ReplyDeleteYou must make your mother so proud!
ReplyDeleteI never knew body glitter counted as clothing. Now my daily options are limitless...
Remember when Yvette was a TV last year! At least this year she is going to be big and round, not big and square!
TAMN I'm so happy you liked my Eve idea!!! It's just like you to want to remind everyone of the Plan tonight but of course you will look super-hot doing it!!! It's practically using your hall-oween as a mish opportunity. You inspire me TAMN.
ReplyDeleteGood thing you lived out of the state for 8 months or you might talk like the rest of us! I totally never would have thought of taking my feti trick or treating and hanging a bag from my belly, this is why you are so much better than me!
ReplyDeletebAHHHHHHH....I'm like a todal cElEbRiTy!! Tamners picked MY IDEA to be a trophy wife! Omg(osh) I most def need to blog all about this. I just KNEW that I was her #1 ebff!
ReplyDeleteUmmmm...even tho MaTeRiAliSm makes me cry, I prayPRAYpray that Tamn will send me a little THANK YOU PRESENT for giving her the best idea E.V.E.R. and I mean that in the most HUMBLE/not-hinting-about-anything/cute and uhdorable way!
GREAT. COSTUMES.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly do you teach your Mia Maids about what appropriate costumes look like? Just wondering. :)
Initially I was going to judge you for dressing more scantilly than the sorostitutes in my neighborhood but then I realized that only single women need to be modest because it puts unrighteous desires into the hearts of young priesthood holders. Luckly since you're a wifey all men will look at you and say "Whoa, I'd totally lust but she has a ring on her finger so way to go dude on the hottie and I totally respect her as a woman and future mother in zion." The ring changes everything. You could be naked except for the ring and still be appropriate in my book. Good thing your ring is hugemongous so that it attracts the eye. What does your ring look like, by the way? The glare makes it hard to see, but I assume it spells "CTR" in diamonds. How cute of you to teach others the gospel, remain modest and advertize yoru covenants with one simple elegant token of love. Happy Halloween (I also pronounce that the foreign way)
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ReplyDeleteFER CUTE! I can't believe you only have eleven parties to go to! You lucky girl, when u said u were gonna SiMpLiFy (at church, cuz I todely heard you say it to that lady who was trying to get you to have a cookie lee party and you didn't want to hurt her lil feelinz) I didn't know u really were! You go, sista in GOW!!! (God's Own Way)
ReplyDeleteN.E. wayz, my "girlz" will be all glittered up in orange and I'll pretend I'm selling oranges. GET IT? Do ya?!? LOLOLOLOROFFLMAOFLOLOLOROFFLEROFF!!!1
K talk atcha later! BFF!!!
I thought Gs were optional whenever you wanted to wear something cute. Thanks for the heads up TAMN!
ReplyDeleteGosh! You should be on the cover of a magazine. It will totally rock the world because you'll be preggo like the original preggo naked magazine covergirl Demi Moore except you'll be more modestly unclad.
ReplyDeleteUmmmmm, you lived out of state until you were 8 months old? You aren't native celestial? Wow. Didn't know. I'll add you to the temple roll tonight sweetie. (:
ReplyDeleteSo fun, your ideas! But BUMMER that you are not a native Utahn, that must make you sad! :(
ReplyDeleteSo I know your blog is supposed to be LIKE TOTALLY FUNNY AND soooo totAlLy AweSome All the WaY but I think you blog sucks. Like YA! I mean if you are going to be fake and all, then why can't you post something a little interesting??? Just an idea.
ReplyDeletehahah kaci is for sure your twinner im sure of it. why else would she care that your making fun of her up and down?? o ya, she wouldn't. your blog rocks and we all know it. thats why thousands of us read it each day. and while kaci researches for the cheapest botox treatments online, she TOTALLY has your blog up singing along to all the same tunes that you guys LOVE TO rock out too!!! YOU GO TAMN!!! MY HERO!
ReplyDeletehahah kaci is for sure your twinner im sure of it. why else would she care that your making fun of her up and down?? o ya, she wouldn't. your blog rocks and we all know it. thats why thousands of us read it each day. and while kaci researches for the cheapest botox treatments online, she TOTALLY has your blog up singing along to all the same tunes that you guys LOVE TO rock out too!!! YOU GO TAMN!!! MY HERO!
ReplyDeleteAnything but a pumpkin!!! Poor Yvette, it's up to us to help girls like her! It's part of the plan, ya know?
ReplyDeleteCome on! I was at a funeral w/ no internet all week. Please let me in on the drawing. I have never been in on the drawing. I will show more cleavage on next years costume.
ReplyDeleteI NEED THAT SIGNING TIME!!! I was just looking for it on ebay this morning! My kid is addicted to signing. He already knows all the prophets and apostles and can spell them in less than 3 seconds a piece. (ok that's a lie - but he can say "restroom" a lot a Disneyland)
I laughed so hard at this post I can hardly breathe! PHEW!
ReplyDeletewww.MomMostTraveled.com