IF, hy-pathetically, someone (NOT. ME. DEF NOT ME) got, um, chest augmentation surgery, which, um, (shy whisper "boobs") would you get resurrected with? Old ones or new ones?
I mean, supposably PERFECT, right???
blogged from my iphone in Sunday School
how am i first?
ReplyDeleteIt BETTER be the new ones! :)
ReplyDeleteDEF the new ones (that's what I'm banking on!) :)
ReplyDeletei had a reduction so i'm gonna say the new ones! i don't want those things back!
ReplyDeleteSeriously! I gotta get an iphone.
ReplyDeleteDearest Little Friend,
ReplyDeleteThey take them away from you
ps. JJWT uses them as bookends after you're gone.
ReplyDeleteLove,
ReplyDeleteb.
Ok, the fact that you wrote 'blogged from my iphone in Sunday School'... totally cracked me up. Whoever you are TAMN, you're pretty funny. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteWell, I definitely think it depends on if they are silicone or saline. I mean, silicone is definitely against The Plan. But saline is good for us so I'm sure you, I mean, "someone", would be resurrected with those.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure you looked super serious and sutdious when blogging from your iPhone. Like you were reading your scriptures you downloaded onto it. Good call.
Oh, one tear fell from my eyeliner filled eye when I thought that some poor girl didn't have teeters. I have such whammo teeters that I am thinking of being a live donor. Charity is my middle name.
ReplyDeleteKristina--you nailed it with the i-phone comment. And I love how you spelled sutdious. perfect.
ReplyDeleteWell obviously God allowed men to create plastic surgery so that our bodies can be perfected, so you will get to keep your new, um, (shy whisper) boobs.
ReplyDeleteB - I had no idea. Seriously. None. Its a little sad, really! Ta ta to the ta-tas?
ReplyDeleteOh, TAMN. You slay me.
ReplyDeleteHaha! "Part trace" took me a while. Good one, TAMN. Well played as usual.
ReplyDeleteIf we don't get to keep 'em, I'm not being resurrected. That's the flat-out truth (bahahahahaha!).
Are you kidding? You'll get the old ones back but they'll look a hundred times better (um, sexier?) for sure!!!! And the baby fat on my belly will be gone too. Yep!
ReplyDeleteIt depends on the reasons you are getting them. If it is for selfish reasons, like looking good, or having self esteem, they stay buried in the ground. If, however, it is to counterbalance the weight of bearing other's burdens, they are going straight up with you.
ReplyDeleteToken Asian Friend, I just peed my pants. I couldn't agree more. It depends on your, I mean, a hy-pathetical person's, reasons for getting them. Yours'll be big enough with the twins you won't have to worry about it for a while.
ReplyDeleteOh I wonder this often because I used to have HUGE bosoms, after 3 babies they were so horrible and big and soooooo ack, droopy, I got me some reduced ones, all perky and light. I hope I don't get those old miserable ones back.
ReplyDeleteUmmmm I think the answer's obviously neither. The perfect boobs you get in heaven will be way more perfecter than either set you'll have on earth!
ReplyDeleteAren't we all going to be the same size up there anyway??? That's what I'm banking on.
ReplyDeleteOh, TAMN! You definately don't get the new ones... sorry. The great thing is that your rezurected ones will be just as good (if not better) and you'll be able to say with full confidence, "Yes, there natural!"
ReplyDeleteSitting in primary on my iphone and couldn't resist, AND felt inspired to say... think of the prothestic leg. Definately coming back whole and perfect. So, I would rather ditch the Tee-lstial boobs and go for the celestialized ones! (Did I just say "Boobs" in primary?)
ReplyDeleteYou get your old one's but they'll be perky, so no worries.
ReplyDeletewell, if your friend is like you and having twinners, then they NEED the extra oomph to make sure the wee ones get enough food to grow up and be a strong missionary and young women leader, so for SURE it is a good choice ...
ReplyDeleteWell, I think if you ever made ($) bc of them, EW, and didn't use all of it for tithing, then NO. But if you had the Big "C" or something then they could be under consideration. But I like the comments where everyone will be blessed and happy by being equal.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have celestial boobs, so they'll bee even better than faksies. Go celestial, or go home.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with everyone who said sumthing about perfect b--bs in heaven, but I'm pretty sure some story in an Ensign (which by the way is scripture every time front to back including responses to the New Era asking questions part) said something about works being related to our eternal reward. So yes, everyone will be resurrected with perfect frontal bits. But just because your frontspieces obtain salvation doesn't mean they get exaltation. The shape, size and perkiness will be directly proportional to womanly things, like how many of your children served missions and got married in the temple (because you can control the agency of others if you're a GOOD mother) and if you were 100% on your VT (so send out those Stampin' up messages!) I know my rack will be exalted, I've been 100% on my visiting teaching two months in a row (we crammed photocopied messages in crack by the hinge). Hope this helps Yvette (I assume she's the one who needs it).
ReplyDeleteI think everyone gets size D in the next life. only seems fair to me!
ReplyDeletewhichever ones God likes more. Did you know if you are too short, you'll be ress'ed taller?
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to talk my hubby into a reduction (for me, not him, HA!) and I hope I get the smaller ones. But if bigger is what you want then bigger it is! I'm sure they'll be perky and perfect for all eternity - JUST LIKE YOU!
ReplyDeleteP.S. - I'm totally glad you were pondering deep questions in Sunday School. Someone once told me it's okay to space out if you're thinking about something spiritual. So I do it all the time now. Just don't make eye contact with the teacher or they might call on you - AWKWARD!
P.P.S. - PLZ pick me for the giveaway. PLZ!!!
ps. Consider that advice my entry into the give away, ok?
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others - you get waaay supercute beeb's in the celestal kingdom!!
ReplyDeleteI have to just set the record straight, b. You do NOT have to say ta ta to your fake ta-ta's! They DO NOT take them. My husband happens to be a mortician too and they don't ever do anything to your body for research without permission- from you, not even loved ones!!! So bring it on, TAMN- you can only inspire others by rising above the challenges that God has given you- er, I mean your friend can....
ReplyDeleteoh, jenn.....you're no fun.
ReplyDelete(that was the only part of the conversation that was funny, and therefore the only part that was posted. Permission/schmermission. Accuracy/schmaccuracy.
i think you'll be resurrected in your best form... and if that is with fake boobies then its with fake boobies!
ReplyDeleteAre there REALLY people like this in the world??!!?
ReplyDeleteUmh totally the newbies!
ReplyDeleteUmh totally the newbies!
ReplyDeleteUmh totally the newbies!
ReplyDeleteUmmm... Unfortunately we'll probably get the old ones back, BUT everything is supposed to be in a PERFECT state right? So the "old ones" should be better than the "new ones". Right? I think I am confused. But, even though we'll get the old ones back what is so wrong with loving the new ones while we're here???
ReplyDeleteI want my teen age package when I am ressurrected--not the fakies that I am sporting at the present. They are fun for now, but I made my husband and children PROMISE to have the fakes taken out when I am dead. I do not want archeologists to dig up my grave a thousand years from now and wonder, while scratching their heads in preplexion, what in the heck those round plastic things are...
ReplyDeleteNew ones. I mean how else will they balance out your wings?
ReplyDeleteI think whether or not you get a boob job on earth you'll be resurrected with perfect, large, perky breasts. Probably with eternally erect nipples. Because nothing small and droopy can enter the kingdom of God. That's what it says right in the BOok of Mormon. I'm pretty sure.
ReplyDeleteI really don't want to know what was said in your Sunday School class to spark that comment in your head...maybe I should come to your ward and bring my iPhone! :)
ReplyDeleteUm, I'm pretty shur that my best friend's aunt's cousin heard a general authority at a fireside once say that when you're resurrected, you can make your body look however you want. So I think that means that you can keep your new (things that rhyme that noobs). And I also think that it means that people who are richus enough to get resurrected but who aren't as blessed as some of us are and can't afford plastic surgery in this life will be able to look hot anyway in the next life. Isn't the plan so great?
ReplyDeletedef. the new ones if they turn out well. I wonder ... if they're all hard and painful (like the mom from Mean Girls) will they come back soft and squshy and perfected? This sounds like something we 'defiantly' need to ask the bishop about!
ReplyDeleteUm, such a tuffie to answer. But, I seriously want to win in your give-away. Please pick me.
ReplyDeleteToken Asian Friend - I'm still laughing at your response! You're getting to be as witty as TAMN! ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't know but I'm sure they will sparkle. That's what heaven does .......it makes you sparkle.
ReplyDeletei say "perfect the saints" means mind, soul, right? you wouldn't get resurrected with that awful mushroom haircut your mom made you get when you were a kid, right?
ReplyDeleteUmmmm...I'm pretty sure I remember reading in the Ensine this one time that we'll have perfected bodies. So, we won't need implants because everyone will have beautiful, large natural rimes with noobs.
ReplyDeleteThat said, if your friend wants to practice for perfection, and she's not quite there yet, why not help the process along with a little sirgery?
TAMN - obviously we know this isn't a post about you - you are seriously so perfect that you already look enhanced.
ReplyDeleteI'm a "reduction baby" and have been in recovery for 4 years now. Never ever would I go back to the way they were :)
well they'd be the old ones, but perfected. i mean really, TAMN. and besides, i'm sure you already LOOK like you're celestialized. so, i mean, no harm done. not much to be done for you in the twinkling of an eye. and honestly, we'll be perfect then and not so vain, so i don't think size will matter then. just sayin.
ReplyDeletewell since getting any sort of cosmetic surgery is of the devil and I like to find out about every woman in the ward that has gotten one and then tell everyone to pray for her because she has sinned and that her poor kids will grow up to be prostitutes because their mom is soooo vain and cares about their body so much i say that you will have nothing. you will be like a child since you have sinned soooo badly. poor girl. I hope you feel so embarrassed for caring about that stuff....shame on you.
ReplyDeletelol perfect in every way, shoot they might be bigger and better :p
ReplyDeletedefinitely the new ones. definitely. they're perfect. that's what i'm hoping anyways.
ReplyDeletebest. question. ever.
ReplyDeletetotally current ones.
ReplyDeleteI also tried to make a comment on the giveaway so I could enter, but some frumpers known as "administrator" turned it off...so I couldn't enter (sniff) How can I still enter?!?!?!?!
You will be stuck with NO boobs because you messed with your temple and all of that! :)
ReplyDeleteTotally seri-ee-us!
:)
eWWWWWWWWW...i can't BeLiEvE you shy whispered *rhymes with moobs*
ReplyDeleteLOVE your Q's, TAMNers. I think a whole segment on "serious dillemm's" [aka "is this against the plan?"] would be a hoot. The "answers" are as hilarious as the questions!
ReplyDeleteum, celestial ones, duh.
ReplyDeletecraking me UP!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope my friend Darlene won't mind my linking to her poem, which somewhat pertains to the issue at hand. I mean the issue at chest.
ReplyDeleteI really want to enter the contest, but the comments are disabled! I would love to give that designer gown to my bestest who is preggo with her second!
ReplyDeleteOk, I think the real question should be, are you going to breastfeed your feti? gah! I said it! because if you want to, i would definitely wait until they're like 5 or something and then get whatever augmentalicious surgery you want. oh wait! I forgot! This isn't you we're talking about. I mean, tell you friend what I said.
ReplyDeleteI just had a friend refer to me as the "Anti-Tamn." I told her I had no idea what she was talking about and she referred me to your site. I guess that means I am the embattled, enbittered antithesis to everything gloriously sparkly in your world. I'll take it. :-)
ReplyDeleteI really think I'll have my post twins engorgement tataas after I die. My DH said they were perfect and he holds the phood and is doing post graduate study, so he knows about perfect stuff. For now I am just going to support my local Victoria Secret.
ReplyDeleteoh i just might cry my internet was down for the weekend (DARN COMCAST!) and i was not able to enter into your giveway....guess its my fault for not checking your blog from my iphone at church, i will NEVER make that mistake again!
ReplyDeleteOh TAMN! Didn't you know? Everyone has a perfect C-cup in heaven!
ReplyDeleteIt better be the new ones, if not track down the doctor and ask for a refund!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe old (pre-nursing) ones- only perfect!
ReplyDeleteParley P. Pratt/Brigham Young/Cleon Skousen/Other made up general authority reference said: If you get breast augmentation you come back with no boobs.
ReplyDeleteMy writeous (aka former Bish) Dad said you get the OLD ones, only the 25 year old ones. Before babies and gravity hit!
ReplyDelete