Things have been so cRaZy!
Day before April Fools, JJWT woke me up in the middle of the nite and said all serious that he wanted to join the peace corpse.
I totally fell for it and just started bawling my head off! We both agreed to some pretty specific things when we got engaged {our divine rolls: my job was to not get fat and his job was to not get poor} and turning hippie was NOT in the dill. Sorry but a darling princess is not meant to be all grubby rastafary, so I called my parent's sobbing and daddy understood how ticked I was and even threatened to stop paying our mortgage AND cut off our living allowance if JJWT didn't stop talking crazy!! Didn't he know how long I'd been preparing for the challenges of being a dr/dentist/ceo/lawyer wife???? Ugh!!! Would my BOB even fit through any of the doors in africa or wherever?? And DON'T I DESERVE TO REMODEL OUR MCMANSION!??!??
Luckly before I had to throw any plates my brat of a Nuzzlenator JJWT came to his census and told me it was for fakes instead a for reals, April Fools! He started laughing so hard, I laughed too but was still kinda sad so made him take me to Cheesecake and and buy me tons of shoes til I felt better and he promised he'd never put anything between me and my lifelong dream of spending the next sixty years chatting, lunching, and shopping. Yay!
THEN after our mission reunion we had the most darling Easter and Conference full of tradition's, egg's, family picture's, craft's and treat's.
They threatened to cut off your allowance?!?!? BUT HOW WOULD YOU HAVE LIVED?!?
ReplyDeletePeace corpse. So totally perfect.
ReplyDeleteAs if! I feel ya girl! He needs to get his priorities straight! First World shoe shopping, sociallizing and glamorizing are way more important than saving the world.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. "Family money" should never be used to support a self-sacrificing lifestyle, just a self-indulgent one.
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty rude of JJWT to stress you out like that. Seriously, crying can age a face so quickly. I think apologies by way of a European vacay are in order.
ReplyDelete:: chortles ::
ReplyDelete"our divine rolls were clear: my job was to not get fat and his job was to not get poor." BEST LINE EVER.
I'm so glad, TAMN, that you guys had your priorities straight when you got married! It's so important for couples to talk about things like attitudes toward sex and finances!
Oh. my. gosh. We are so blessed to KNOW those divine rolls. What a **testimony** they are!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat's a BOB? I mean I know a BOB .. but that's not what you mean, is it??
ReplyDeleteThis post is absolute perfection.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't think I'll be able to look at the Nuzzlenator, I mean JJWT, without having impure thoughts. Thanks TAMN, way to wreck my way richus life.
BTW, when you type your posts is the whole thing underlined in red? Because I have a good old Baptist bible (my Grandpappy's) and {eVerYtHIng} Jesus said is underlined in red. Amazing that you two have so much in common! Maybe that's why you're SSB!
Oops, I mean your...
I can't believe he did that. April's Fools jokes are NOT funny when someone falls for them.
ReplyDeleteI love your cheesy music TAMN. I know you're a joke, and this blog is a joke, and that music is a joke, but I love you all.
ReplyDeleteWhew! That was SO close!
ReplyDelete"Our mission reunion."
ReplyDelete....
I forget if you got engaged to JJWT while writing someone else, or if you were writing JJWT when you got engaged to someone else, but either way you totally put enough effort into supporting SOMEONE in their door-knocking efforts to justify claiming the whole experience as your own. And all without having to wake up at 6:30 a.m. for 18 months straight and wearing nylons. Wish I'd known there was an easier way! Then hubsy and me could spend more time on conference weekend doing darling Easter activities instead of hitting two reunions.
OMG Mrs. Roth!
ReplyDeleteI think I laughed louder thinking about the other kind of BOB not fitting through the door... HUGE! Eek!
It's also a type of stroller. Those running ones with the three wheels.
What the awkward TAMN... the only BOB abbreviation I know of is when it stands for Battery-Operated Boyfriend. Seriously so embarrassed that you have to have one AND admitted to it, and seriously so relieved you won't have the trial of trying to fit it through the doors of some tiny African hut (even though their doors are tiny 'cause their blessed with super-skinniness over there).
ReplyDeleteBobs are $600 jogging strollers.
ReplyDeleteAnd the divine rolls thing is hysterical.
I saw that April Fools blog that Nuzzlenator wrote and my heart hurt for you cause I knew you might cry, and I think that makes wrinkles come faster when you cry. Can you tell us what a BOB is? I'm not sure if I should feel frumpy and/or unrighteous for not knowing!
ReplyDeleteI definitely think he took that April Fools' joke too far. I think a weeks worth of pouting will teach him that some things are too sacred to joke about.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that this post is probably one of my favorites now, simply because of the ghastly use of apostrophe's. :)
ReplyDelete"my job was to not get fat and his job was to not get poor"
ReplyDeleteSounds like a match made in the celestial kingdom.
JUST when I doubt, you come up with "my job is not to get fat and his is not to get poor." Perfection.
ReplyDeleteSaw you at the mish reunion. Sorry I didn't say hi, everyone just kept stopping me to look at my way cute kids and tell awesome mish memories of DH. That's what you get when he served 22 months as AP! :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, just wanted to say I didn't even know you were expecting again, but was so excited I could totally tell when I saw you! Looks like it must be twins again! You're a way cute prego the way your belly sticks out there.
PS- Hope you're not mad I broke your news on your blog, but seriously, everyone must be asking by now. It's pretty obvious. When's the big day?
Thank's for the chuckle's, TAMNer's.
ReplyDeleteIts so cute when you brag by complaining.
ReplyDeleteI should have known what a BOB is 'cause my sister has one, but I never remember what it's called, so I was trying to figure out what you did to your hair that it wouldn't fit through African doorways. Oh Em Gosh, it's like you April Fooled me unintentionally!
ReplyDeleteWow TAMN! I should forget about being surprised by your depth. All grubby rastafary?? If you aren't careful someone might think you have a brain under all that big hair.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeletei love posts about JJWT
P.S. JJWT coming to his "census" made me wonder if you've turned yours in yet! Did you lie about your age on the form to make the age gap between you and JJWT cuter?
ReplyDeleteTAMN, PLEASE update your playlist. I am sick of listening to Miley. Please????
ReplyDeleteOh, that was so good!!! Thank you:)
ReplyDeleteI thought Rhodes Rolls were divine rolls. As for your divine roles, love it. Along with not getting poor your husband's role should include having really important callings like becoming a bishop, steak prez, mish prez, seventy, apocil, Proph. In that order. What's life without clearly defined roles.
ReplyDeleteBut wouldn't you like to listen to Bob Marely in a somewhat accurate setting, instead of when living in King Henry during your kind of college days during ward family fhe?
ReplyDeleteIf I see another "for reals" or my new fave "frillz" on another Zion blog, I'm going to have to give up blogging.
ReplyDeleteOne girl even responded "frillllz???" when some guy proposed. He should call that one off.
PS--I would never give up blogging frillz, because I like talking about myself too much. Frillz.
I, too, thought the Bob referred to a new haircut...like Posh Spice but more righteous, and with shoes that are even less practical. Also, your underwear ad will probably look different.
ReplyDeleteNot only spot on in your mockery of the content of blogs, but in spelling as well! My favorite line: "tradition's, egg's, family picture's, craft's and treat's". HAHAHA! Thanks for making my day.
ReplyDeleteThat april fools joke went WAY to far. Honestly, even I was stressing over you when I saw his post! Not cool!
ReplyDeleteLove your divine rolls. Mine aren't quite as good as yours (neither of us are allowed to get fat), but I did manage to talk my hubby into the BOB that I have in order to obtain it. Practically needed a second mortgage for it, though. I am sure yours is way cuter than my orange one. Did you talk them into doing a custom half pink/brown half blue/brown one? The single colors are way cuter than the doubles, but I know with your pouts, they would have to make an exception for you.
Good call on the parents paying the mortgage and giving the allowance, I'm surprised how many people I know who really do that...
ReplyDeleteBwah hahaha. I love this.
ReplyDelete"Would my BOB even fit through any of the doors in africa or wherever??"
ReplyDelete--my laugh for the day!
Funny, funny, funny! And I nearly wet myself (with tears...!!) when I read Mellifera's comment. Freaking awesome.
ReplyDeleteTHis is very OLD SCHOOL TAMN---nice work. But man, you are lacking on your posts lately--you might loose some sponsors or something--running out of ideas maybe? Please try because you are so funny!
ReplyDeleteI love that you guys have "dills" because my husband and I do too! I love "dills!" I'm from CA and have lived in VA for 9 years now, but after only living in UT during college and can't break away from "dills!"
ReplyDeleteHa! BOB. HA!
ReplyDelete(The stroller is not the first "BOB" I thought of either.)
You are a genius. That was the greatest post ever.
ReplyDeleteSeriously worried about you right now. Last time one of my friends didn't blog for five days, she gained 7 pounds, got acne and was called to the nursery.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha. the peace corpse. that's friggin' hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI love how you call it "Our" mission reunion. HA!
ReplyDeleteIronically, my divine rolls are what got me fat. Be careful with those, especially the cinnamon ones.
ReplyDeletePlease put this in your list of favorite posts. I need to access it whenever I need a lift.
ReplyDelete