Yee-ikes! So, my Thanxgiving was AWESOME how about you?!? Better keep this one short bc there's a literal ton of sells (including a big fat one at my e-store, ehem) AND I'm actually blogging this from my pilaties class and spending all day at the malls and gym after yesterday's pigout but just want to clarify that ok, I work out tons and def watch what I eat but not because I have to bc I seriously don't. I could eat and eat everything in site and never EVER gain an ounce believe me, I am careful ONLY bc I want a healthy heart and innards! But my outtards are seriously never chub so don't get the wrong impression. :) Just living the WoW one cinnamon-bear-to-suck-on-all-day at a time, ya know?
Anyways, best Thanxgiving ever! Well, except for Ruth. Trying to reach out and give of myself, I kept using way polite general conversations starters like "So have you thought about revamping your look?" and "Did you ditch the Subaru yet?" and whenever she'd yap about school, I'd say friendly, "You don't have to go anymore, silly...your getting MARRIED!" (do spirit fingers when saying "married!" for full affect). But even though I was smiling my head off, my convo starters TOTALLY kept bombing! Kept offering to do nice things for her...fix the plans for her FREEZING COLD WINNER wedding, snug her dress up, re-do the yawny stampless bridal shower invites, borrow her my sparkle eye shadow for the big day, etc., but guess she can't humble herself enough to except it. UGH.
Even offered to let her borrow my William Snoma holiday cookie cutter set, NOT for cookies (like I'd suggest THAT to her, lol :)) but for JJWT's bro's lunches, to make cute sandwhiches, nice of me right? And guess what SHE says?
"No thanks, I don't make them."
As in, SHE DOESN'T PACK HER OWN FUTURE HUSBAND UP A LUNCH.
What does he do, just starve???
Not to judge, but WTCrud kind of a beginning IS that?
A sad, sad meaningless one.
ReplyDeleteYour interactions with Ruth are some of my very favorite things to hear about. I hope they go through with it!
ReplyDeletestampless bridal shower invites???
ReplyDeletenooooooooo!!
Why are you even writing this blog today? Shouldn't you be shopping?
ReplyDeleteYOU'RE BLOGGING FROM "PILATIES"!?!? THAT IS SO COOL!
ReplyDeleteBoob Nazi, she said she's spending all day at the malls and sells. So greatful you took time out of your busy day to catch us up, TAMN.
Oh, Ruth. My heart breaks for her. Obviously, she doesn't know where her priorities are. Driving a Subaru and STILL enrolled in school?
ReplyDeleteShe should be spending all of her time on cute pedis and tanning, and going to pilates with you so she can look sort of cute for the wedding. I say sort of because you will clearly look hotter, and be the center of attention.
Keep spreading your joy and suggestions around, TAMN!
Oh no. WHAT color is Ruths hair? B/c that will tell me it all.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should pack her fiance a lunch so she could see how it's done. b/c that wouldn't be weird at all.
How did the parents who produced JJWT manage to also produce a child who would have the foresight to marry a Ruth?
ReplyDeleteSelfless, Selfless, Selfless!!! Give, Give, Give!!! Thats all I can say.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, even though it was only one, cinnamin bares still have caleries. Be careful.
ReplyDeleteTAMN, at my Thanxgiving day dinner, when it came to my turn to say what I'm gratefull for, I said I am thankful for TAMN teaching me thru her richis example how to be the perfect Mormon wife and Mommy.
ReplyDeletePoor Ruth! Bless her heart! Just be there for her TAMN! She will thank you someday...and if not, just kill her with your smiles!
ReplyDeleteif you sold an apron that had a William Snoma tag on the front....i would totally buy it (and wear it with my diet coke t shirt). That is, hands down, the funniest thing I've ever read here. I will be laughing all day! lol.
ReplyDeleteWhat the h is spirit fingers?
ReplyDelete(are they related to salad fingers? because he's creepy!)
The kind of beginning that will see your niecies and nephies in Subaru eco-friendly SUV's, PLAIN brown clothes (holla for khaki?), and lots of unkempt hair. I do pity you with this project that can't see that she really wants your help. Does she even know about the Sephora website? (Why do I ask . . ?) Sounds like you need a huge does of retail therapy today :)
ReplyDeleteThe kind of beginning that will see your niecies and nephies in Subaru eco-friendly SUV's, PLAIN brown clothes (holla for khaki?), and lots of unkempt hair. I do pity you with this project that can't see that she really wants your help. Does she even know about the Sephora website? (Why do I ask . . ?) Sounds like you need a huge does of retail therapy today :)
ReplyDeleteHELLO! Ruth is getting her MRS. Degree... why should she still be going to school!?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can make her a sparkley Stampin up MRS certificate so she can frame it and put it on her wall, so she can get the hint that it is the only "degree" she will ever need!
You are so sweet to offer such good advice :)
What, no holiday family dysfunction? Come on, I know you've got some!
ReplyDeleteWilliam Snoma hahahahaha genius
ReplyDeleteYou make me smile daily - thanks for making this stressed out 6th grade teacher grateful for life and not things.
ReplyDeleteRED FLAGS-
ReplyDeleteshe lets your brother starve..
she obviously wants to be a "working mom"(shudder). Tell your bro to run while he still has a chance!
First of all, toadally excited about the sell!!! I'm toadally gonna leave the site up with the hoodie in the checkout and the payment info entered so my hubby can see it and order it for me. (Sometimes he needs help!) Also, bummer about Ruth! Why does she have to be so grump-and-frump? BTW, I toadally say grump-and-frump all the time now. Thanks for expanding my vocab! You're shining example will crack open her icy shell eventually - keep the faith!!!
ReplyDeleteEdumacation is against the plan for womens. They are suposed to remain silently in the house, razing as many childrens as they can bare. The Lard has told me so, I testify that it is true.
ReplyDeleteIts seriously so sad that Ruth will not borrow you're darling Williams Sonoma cookie cutters but instead let's her future husband get his own lunch. This is what happens when womens go too school and ask to many questions. What is the world coming two? Love, from D.
"Borrow her" and "except it" are my fave phrases!
ReplyDeleteSounds like JJWT's bro is going to need to eat out a lot and he'll probably get high cholesterol. Then, when he spends the rest of his life eating nasty oatmeal for breakfast, he'll realize that you were right all along, and he should have set his standards a little higher.
Poor sap.
Oh, and when I think of spirit fingers, I think of what cheerleaders do as they take one huge lunge forward, raise their hands, and wiggle their spirited fingers. Followed by the infamous "cheerkick." But, I could be wrong.
ReplyDeletehee hee. Keep trying, Tamn. Ruth will come around. Never give up.
ReplyDeleteAnd that boob nazi in your comment box is making me nervous.
And is your token Asian friend Mary Tong in disguise?
Do you ever wonder if Ruth had a blog. Who knows what that wench is saying about you!!! It is seriously so worth looking into. I am just saying.
ReplyDeleteMy comment has a trash can next to it, but no one else's comment has a trash can.
ReplyDeleteDid I make fun of Ruth too much? I thought TAMN's point was that Ruth no longer needed to go to school, since she is soon to be married.
You make me fill like doing service! I don't know how you can even STAND to keep helping sad people like Ruth. You're like the perfect example of "baring one another's burdins"!!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, TAMN, I'm way glad you said something, bc I totally thought you were watching what you eat bc you had to, not bc you WANT to. Thanks for clearing that up!
ReplyDeletedharvey, you can only see a trash can next to yours bc when you're logged in, you can erase your own comments, but no one else's. NOT bc your thoughts are trash, bc they so aren't.
I love Ruth.
It's too bad that every wife is not as humble, fit, and caring as you are, TAMN. Seriously, such a shame.
ReplyDeleteCheri, Thank you for your reply-- much appreciated. I understand about the trash can now. :-)
ReplyDeleteI am soooo proud of you for keeping your HEART healthy... I know that it is because of your fantastic heart that you are able to give such love and fab advice to miss frumpy-frump. I thought I saw you the other day with your group of miamaids... but I wasn't sure because you just blend right in with the skinny/young girlies...So Sorry for not saying Hi, I would have if I knew who to talk to... We could have screached-air smooched- and giggled about your non-showingness... Next time...
ReplyDeleteI feel sooo sorry for people who HAVE to work out to stay thin. I’m like you, I eat right and everything so as to have a healthy heart and all but I seriously don’t have to. I mean, the doctor actually say’s that I NEED to gain a little if you can believe that. I just can’t seem to be able to keep it on you know, I eat and I eat and I eat…
ReplyDeleteYer banners keep getting better an better!
ReplyDeleteI love the dancing turkey and "I am WAY thankful" bird :P
And pooor Ruthie...
I need ta use some 'polite general conversation starters' lyke urs! Cos sometimes I have a way hard time thinking up them. You gave me some way great idees!!! Thx tymes infiniti E-BFFF! :D
OH- and token Asian friend, you're correct about the definition of "spirit fingers"
ReplyDelete:]
lol...lol...lol...lol, seriously, thank you, i soooooooo needed something to perk me up after a weekend of stuffy sickness.
ReplyDelete