serious dillemm

Angelbabe and me are having a difference. Guys, is online shopping on Sunday against the plan?

thankfull slash helpfull

Yee-ikes! So, my Thanxgiving was AWESOME how about you?!? Better keep this one short bc there's a literal ton of sells (including a big fat one at my e-store, ehem) AND I'm actually blogging this from my pilaties class and spending all day at the malls and gym after yesterday's pigout but just want to clarify that ok, I work out tons and def watch what I eat but not because I have to bc I seriously don't. I could eat and eat everything in site and never EVER gain an ounce believe me, I am careful ONLY bc I want a healthy heart and innards! But my outtards are seriously never chub so don't get the wrong impression. :) Just living the WoW one cinnamon-bear-to-suck-on-all-day at a time, ya know?

Anyways, best Thanxgiving ever! Well, except for Ruth. Trying to reach out and give of myself, I kept using way polite general conversations starters like "So have you thought about revamping your look?" and "Did you ditch the Subaru yet?" and whenever she'd yap about school, I'd say friendly, "You don't have to go anymore, silly...your getting MARRIED!" (do spirit fingers when saying "married!" for full affect). But even though I was smiling my head off, my convo starters TOTALLY kept bombing! Kept offering to do nice things for her...fix the plans for her FREEZING COLD WINNER wedding, snug her dress up, re-do the yawny stampless bridal shower invites, borrow her my sparkle eye shadow for the big day, etc., but guess she can't humble herself enough to except it. UGH.

Even offered to let her borrow my William Snoma holiday cookie cutter set, NOT for cookies (like I'd suggest THAT to her, lol :)) but for JJWT's bro's lunches, to make cute sandwhiches, nice of me right? And guess what SHE says?

"No thanks, I don't make them."

As in, SHE DOESN'T PACK HER OWN FUTURE HUSBAND UP A LUNCH.

What does he do, just starve???

Not to judge, but WTCrud kind of a beginning IS that?

GOBBLE GOBBLE!

HAPPY THANXGIVING EVERYONE!
thnx for reading...seriously!

Thanxgiving!

THANXGIVING IS THE BEST! It's my fifth favorite holiday so, pretty pumped. This holiday seriously ROCKS bc it's a chance for me to show off how greatful I am AND watch everyone else chub it up. Kinda ticked we aren't having it at J-dub's and Me's house this year, but whatever (JJWT's fam got fended when we hosted it last year and I only made one mash potato, but--TRUST ME--that's all they needed).

Reasons I'm so dang greatful this Thanxgiving:

• Our cutest family ever--THIS IS WHAT HAPPILY EVERY AFTER LOOKS LIKE.

• HOV! Now that I'm carrying twiners, me=3 so the carpool lane makes everything go way quicker.

• Ikea...got a bumload of cute frames (seriously I should post pics of them in various arrangements and have you vote on 'em, huh?) PLUS we'd bin looking for one FORliteralEVER and finally found the perfect toffee table!!

• ice ickles...for some wierd reason, to me they're so romantical.

• The chance I'll have to talk to Ruth tomorrow about how there's still time to salvage her lameyawn of a wedding IF she's even DEAD SURE she still wants to go thru w/ it I can def make her wedding awesome instead of frump-de-dump.

• best in laws ever...l o v e you Queenie & Guv! Thanx in advance for the Disney cruise!

• The cold I caught this week that helped me lose those pesky preggo ell-bees...seriously, Bronkitis is the best.

• **TMI alert! Don't read this one if you hate hate hate TMI!** Personal and icky I know, but WHOA the best nuzzling of my life right now! Not sure if it's increased circle-lation or just my body's way of rewarding me for making darling feti what but "hubba hubba"!

• Also so greatful for how I have the BEST MOM EVER! She is my bestie, frills, and we have a ton in common, meaning our hot looks, singy-songy voices, inexplicable amounts of free time and our shocking lack of adult vocab.

• Body spray. I can just spray and spray and spray and spray and spray and spray and spray and it's awesome! Impossible to overdue it! Same with lotion, esp. way smelly nummy flavors and esp. in public.

• Dinner and how every year, no matter what, I make my best ever diet pie and it looks so dang good and tastes even better and everyone seriously stands in "ah."

How about you?

in a total football/vampire comma!

Yep, you can still enter the gIvEaWaY til Sunday so check it out here, but I just gotta say...)

CRAZYEST.

WEEK.


EVER!

All this movie watching and football-shaped cookie baking reminds me how MY LIFE IS SO HARD but seriously every moment increases my gratefulness. Bc member, burdens like this make me sad but actually happy because I know that by having drama, I get awesomer, so it's like a sick win-win I don't really get, but i DO really love.

Already seen Twilight FIVE times--no joke--literally camped out in the theatre with tons of my girls and gobbled up string cheese and the 15 of us shared a pack of cinnamon bears so splurgey splurge but special occassion for best movie ever! (ginorm swoon) THE TWILIGHT MOVIE IS TOTALLY AND OFFICIALLY GONNA WIN AN EMMY.

So, way sleepy and in a vampire-movie-lurve-enduced comma, I can seriously barely type this. PLUS I stayed up all nite AGAIN to bake football shaped parafanalia for all the boys. I stay out of this, BUT you might member both the Zoobies and the Heathens totally wanted JJWT to play for them but he didn't want to hurt his law/biz/med/dental school chances w/ concussions so decided to give Max and Louie a chance to shine...total giver! Sooo greatful for the strength I have to watch movies, bake treats (and just sniff 'em NOT EAT 'EM), and also for the 4+ hours I get to myself today during which Angelbabe won't even notice my Anthro-binge and I can try to FINALLY find a self-tanner that works w/ my preggo ph to use for the individual worth YWs activity next week!

YAY FOOTBALL!

The boys will seriously l o v e busting into this halftime pinata I made 'em...can't wait to see the huge smiles when they're showered with 200 packets of Crystal Light!

♥so exited my eyes are twitcheen!♥

(yes you can still enter the giveaway below, but I just gotta say....)

IF I HAVE TO WAIT ONE MORE SECOND FOR THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE BESIDES MY BRIDE DAY I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE.

He's kind a mad I keep making him bathe in ice cubes, but the Robert Pattinson mask I got for JJWT looks awesome on him. Seriously.

fall for anything!

My spinsty friend Yvette and me had the best lunch date ever yesterday...feels like its bin forever! Missed her face so bad!! Seriously, so impressive that she still hangs out w/ me even though must be hard for her, seeing my way fun life compared to her bummer existence. SUCH a great example of persevering up a dreary life hill.

Lunch was way fun. She tried to order an appetizer AND her own entree (oink! :) j/k, cutie) so I intervened and got us a salad, ahem, to SHARE. Told her all sincere, "Sweetie, if you EVER want things to change, you gotta want it," then looked at her bum for a sec til she got the pitcher. LOL! So greatful to have a freindship that --> a literal ton of patients. Swear I've tried and tried to help her in the dude department but noooo, she stubbornly remains as hopelessly spinsty-frump as EVER. Remember my awesome advice to her?? Ignored! Made me pinkie swear not to tell a soul, but since this IS my journal and not that many people read it, here goes, but if you see her though, totally act natural.

Anyway, good news (for once) is that she somehow conned some hottie into taking her out, TWICE. SHRIEK!

Way to go frumpers, right?

NOT. She thinks maybe she's "not interested" bc yeah he's hot but also "shallow," she says.

(eyes roll w/ exascperation)

(gentle patience-summoning yoga exhalation)

COME ON, SPINSTY.

a) Can you rilly afford to be THAT picky at this point? Your almost done with college, seriously, just take what you can get, and b) at least he's hot. Would you rather have someone "interesting" but ug? Do you really want to throw up in your mouth for ETERNITY??

Anyways, she kept yapping about how he couldn't carry on a convo, his hummer's obnoxious, his pants shouldn't be tighter than hers, why the H was he wearing sunglasses in Nov anyway, the enormity of his neck vains weirds her out, how he laughed when she said she liked school, how he's emotionally thirteen, blahblah. Talk about a PICKY PATTI! Anyway, in true not-exactly-a-shocker-she's-a-spinsty fashion, she told me she finds adorable stuff like his freak-you-out-huge torso and shelacky hair gel WEIRD. Um...since when is AWESOME weird??

Obviously, she needed one of those friends who just tells it like it is, eye ee, me. I told her she needed to snag the hottie ASAP or she'd end up a perma-spinst or just as bad, having to WORK all the time w/ some serious, scrawny schoolteacher of a hub who sure, thinks and reads and stuff, but NEVER wears aqua digio and can't even AFFORD embroidered pocket jeans. Do you want a boat or not?? She snapped back that she just wanted someone "mature."

Yawn.

Remember, guys: stocks mature, not dudes.

babys, babys, babys

Thanx everyone for your prayers, balloons, froyos, pedi GCs, fattie restraunt GCs, etc, in this hour of dispair...can't rilly believe it, BUT after tons of comfort binges, The Hills and clean flicked Pretty Woman, I had a change a heart and am WAY excited to have a little boy!! Wonder what the other one will be! Seriously, whichever is totally fine, I don't care at all, as long as it's healthy, and a girl.

Anyways, thanx to reader Diana, guess who's gonna have the cutest lunches in the whole law/biz/med/dental school???

JJWT'S GINNEW!!


YAY!

But, right when I was feeling happy about the feti cookie cutter, I got bummered out again, bc this weekend at Cheesecake the server said "Honey, when are you due?"

(offended gasp)!

What the rude!

Seriously, if I had a temper I'd a slapped her!! I'm not apposed BEING preggo, but LOOKING preggo is just insulting.

our twins

Hey everyone. It's me, JJWT.

I guess it's been a while since I've written on this thing huh? Thanks everyone for reading my wife's blog. I seriously hear about it all the time and how much she loves her e-BFFs. I don't really get it, but cool.

We went to the mall today to take a look at the twins and their parts. We were pretty pumped so we couldn't wait for the doctor. It rocked. So crazy I'm gonna be a DAD. CRAZY. The lady hooked TAMN up and we took a look at our twins. I cracked up so hard bc they looked like Gremlins, but TAMN got so mad when I said that. Anyway, one of them wouldn't open its legs so I guess it'll be a suprise. But the other one, we saw loud and clear.........






it's a ......









boy.


Booyah!

So pumped to have a SON, everyone! Holy crap, that stud can't get here soon enough. I was freaking pumped and high-fived the tech and fistbumped everyone working there. TAMNbabe though, not so much. She screamed "Nooooooo!" like she was a wicked witch melting or something and fell to the ground. Seriously, mascara was all over the place. It was definitely awkward. She asked the tech lady if she was sure and the chick said "Oh yeah, he's ALL BOY," and circled his package. TAMN flipped out. The good news is she was fumin' so bad she didn't even notice or guilt trip me when I picked up Madden 09 in the mall on our way back to the car. Double booyah!

Anyway, I'm stoked. The whole way home TAMN was muttering about wasted bows, how no one will ever say she and our twins could be triplets, blessing dresses patterned after TAMN's wedding dress that'll go to waste, weddings she'll never get to plan, and all of that. The other one could totally be a chick for all we know, but I guess my babe needs time. And a buttload of frozen yogurt. TAMN's in bed hidding under the covers so that's why I'm writing this. I'm going to go pick our son up a hunting rifle and his own Wii controller now, but isn't this awesome?

Take it easy everyone!

bad perplexion

SO SAD SLASH STUMPED!

Last night was hobby nite at the law/biz/med/dental school wives club (so fun!...every one is so creative!) and this darling chica who seriously NEVER comes, showed up and geez, TALK about an awkward incounter you gys. I was way friendly and polite, as is of upmost importance as the first-lady, but ew! Hate to gossip, but this IS my journal, and I = way puzzled and in desparate need a venting spree. So get this...


They've been married for freaking EVER, I think since oh-SIX or something ridiculous, and guess how many kids? Um, ZERO. And she's not even preggers! Plus she has a JOB. Um, WTH. It's like there against wick and loans or something, not to mention HELLO!? Do they even HAVE parents??

Way.
sad.
life.
Ugh.

Of coarse, I'm sure they've been "trying" ;o) so to be nice, I figured I'd suggest a few things to help her get blessed slash preggo. I opened my eyes way big and earnest so my mascara clumps bonked into my carefully-shaped brows, and asked way hi-pitched friendly, "Have you guys thought about paying tithing?" She was all, "What do you mean?"

LOL! Awkard! I shrugged my teensy shoulders and gentley put a lotiony hand on her back all compassionate. I lowered my cute head and tossed my streaked bangs slowly, giving her my darling quizzical pity pout, and pointed slowly at my fertile garden belly, (meaningful pause), then at her desolate desert one.

"You know....TWO, NONE. TWO, NONE...

Just saying maybe it's time to CTR."

Nice, right? But nooo, she flipped the heck out and chose to be offended. Girls are SO drama! Always telling the J-Dub he's seriously so lucky to of married someone so down to earth and chill. I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP THEM TO NOT HAVE A BORING LIFE. It's like, is it just that she's selfish and a heaven hater, or does she have a wasteland of a womb?? I'm TRYING to be sensitive but it is way hard. Should I send a note?

TAMN's code of many colors

Nicole asked politely: TAMN! My sisters and I have been DYING to know what color you are! You know, The Color Code book! We were discussing your many colorful personality traits and just COULD NOT decide what you are. Puh-lease, fill us in! LOVE YOU!


BAAAAAAAAAAAA!! Weird that you ask bc everyone talks this test up as all awesome and insiteful and a way big of a deal, but when we did it for a combined Young Womens/Enrichment a while ago, seriously my results = Luh-AME and way untrue! WTH. Took the test and followed the instructions perfect, but it came out that I was red, the Discription had a bunch of junk like "demanding" and "always right" and "tactless." Which is a flatout lie bc a) red washes me out BAD and b) totally unaccurate! Never have been stubborn, never will be stubborn! Stupid test!

AND I DO NOT HAVE AN EFFING TEMPER!

Ugh ugh ugggers. Sorry for the bad language guys. I have a personal written-down goal not to letter-swear anymore but it is so (clentched teeth) HARD WHEN PEOPLE SAY I HAVE A TEMPER AND I DON'T.

Sigh. Since anyone who knows me knows I'm totally deep, sincere, loyal, etc., I read about blue and figgured it was TOTALLY me, all intense and supportive and patient, but then all the YW and RS cracked up and when I told JJWT he laughed so hard he ugly snorted! So I asked what WHITE involved and thought the "peacemaker" and "kind" and "tolerant" stuff made me sound darling, but had to interrupt whoever was explaining it when they got to the "patient" and "good listener" part bc I was pretty bored. When I read the other results to find a better fit, and saw things like "fun" and "sociable" (I AM SUCH A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY) and figured I was totally a yellow do to my charisma and carefree hilarity but I zoned out when the discription kept droaning on about how I lose focus so not totally sure if it's accurate.


What the crud, guys? YOU'RE my e-BFFs and YOU know me better than I know myself half the time! What color r u? Do any of those colors fit me or the hubby??? Love you! :)

dreamy

Since I've been preggo I've had the vividest dreams EVER! Need help interping this bc it is seriously so puzzling. Ready guys?


So in my dream last nite, I was with JJWT at church in a modest bikini and the bishop called us in, but the bish was Gerald Lund, and he called me (in sign language) to be RS pres and the burden of being the youngest and cutest one ever rested heavly up on my bare shoulders, then while he was talking he turned into Kirby, and teeth all fell to the ground as perfect little gleaming pearl's, and then suddenly JJWT turned into Ruth and we were in her icky Subaru which smelt like compost, and then we were both running from Yvette who was chasing us and she was seriously P.O.'d, and while we were running, Ruth said she seriously coveted my cute hair and when I responded with "Can't rilly blame you, yours is sort of old-lady," at that excact moment I started falling so fast into some vast bizzaro canyon where Julie de Azevedo music was blasting and I landed on a beautiful transluscent bubble and began floating so peaceful, THEN all of a sudden, Ruth dropped me off at hair school where I had to take a test I'd forgotten about with three inches of nasty roots and was WAY humilated...and suddenly I was naked! And then the room filled up with berry-sented hand sanitizer and I swam in it, a beautiful, skilled backstroke and the teensy gymnasts from the Lympics started to applaud me and toss their medals!

And then I gathered the Chinese gymnasts around me and they sat on the floor and I read to them a darling pitcher book about a bunny, a gorgeous, skinny bunny with tons of awesome fall tights, boots & scarves who married another gorgeous bunny and they had the best most talented successful bunny twins in all the land and the papa bunny got called to be the bishop of all the other bunnies, and the mama bunny skyrocketed to the top of this crazy-successful MLM, then she went on SYTYCD and seriously owned it!

Seriously, wierd! Will you help me interp? What does this MEAN??

epi or earthy?

Seriously!
Can't believe I only have four to five mos left until I can swaddle my feti!!

It's like waiting for Santa the night before Christmas! Except my feti aren't fictional, and it won't be winter, and I don't birth Santa. And my darling birth canal is way teensy compared to a chimney. But whatever. Soooo greatful and blessed to have the best feti, husband, womb, and life EVER.


But now I'm in a total conundrum/dilem. What to do??? Get a blow-up tub and have JJWT climb in too and bring the feti out in our living room w/ a happy-hippie midwife?? Or get an epidural BEFORE the pain starts just to be safe bc God made anastasia for a reason?? Or, do I plan for a natural unmedicated birth, then scream for drugs, then swear JJWT to secrecy and PRETEND I went natural?? Schedule a Ceasar salad section, like the celebs?? OR, just have faith that my sweet feti just come out on their own, pain-free!?? Does anyone have any idea how many points it would be if I seriously ate the placenta??!


Have tons of Qs and e-BFFs, need you!!!!! Don't dare ask the grump-n-frump chicks I VT, and don't rilly want everyone in my wives club to know I'm wondering, bc once I decide, I want to say that it's what I've wanted since my OWN birth. Plz help!

PROP 8

Sooooo WIERD how many people keep asking me about "Prop 8"!


"TAMN, do you support it??" "TAMN, are you against it?" "TAMNtastic, will you blog about it?" "TAMNatron, join our facebook group!" "TAMNers, take a stand!" "TAMNkins, are you so pumped it passed?" "TAMNy, follow the profit!" "TAMNy, are you wheat or tears?" "TAMN, it's like the war in heav'n." "TAMNers, you & JJWT gotta go door-to-door with us!"


YOU.


GUYS.


Firstly, there are some lines we don't cross in our fam, and one of those is that we do NOT do anything door to door unless it involves pest control/security systems, a hefty back-end hunka cash and summer sells. Like I say, scarry current events make me board and frowny. PLUS, you KNOW I did drill slash cheer in HS...what's with everyone thinking I know about yawny and lame stage-crew stuff? WAY to busy counting my workout hours for "individual worth" themed personal progress project to know slash care SQUAT about various props, let alone the 8th one. What's the big deal? And, TMI, but wheat makes me bloaty, and I seriously hardly even REMEMBER the war in heav'n.


Plus, I've been super busy DECKING MY HOUSE OUT FOR CHRISTMAS NOW THAT ITS THE HOLIDAYS! Manheim Steemroller on repeat + my home drowned in homemaid reeths + blow up yard turkey = luv @ home.

trail of my faith

HOLY CHALLENGE-FEST.

So addicted to learning patience! Seriously. So true that with adversary my strongness increases. Life is still def bliss, but pain in the tail bliss. The new ancient brat I VT told me that since I haven't been visualizing my twinses genders (just can't make up my mind what I want to have! Studs or princesses, studs or princesses, so preplexing) that they'll show up neuter bc I didn't send the universe a clear message! Not sure if it's true or if the on-ree grump's just trying to ruin my life but either way --> stress in my way fun life. So, I'm praying for TONS of faith, patience, and non-neuter feti. Plus, even though I'm seriously so blessed, tough time for me bc JJWT keeps blabbing inscessintly about whose getting how many votes and socialism and the stalk markets and the gays and Maverick which okay, I love their fro yo too but shut the H up!

Totally kidding babe, love you.

All I'm trying to say here guys is that I've had opp after opp after opp to excercise patience and I luv it, but UGH I'm so over it. Just when I thought things couldn't get any tougher, the universe throws me this heartbreaking curveball of devastation...


....


....

Jessie and Deanna broke up! IS NOTHING SACRED? Now I can't even count on reality TV romance??? All I have to say is (so-white-as-to-be-transparent teeth-clench) there had BETTER be at least 3 hot LDSaints on AI this year or TV and I are officially broken up.