my big day, Part roma numeral 2

If you missed part I, start paying attention!!!

Part II

Giving birth was the hardest but most easiest thing of my life. Don't worry, when your a mom, you'll understand, but if your already a mom, you still don't really get it like I do bc mine is so recent. No offense. Going natural {bc they came out of my body, as apposed to adoption} was an amazing experience and its given me tons of eternal prospective.

So we get to the hospital {after getting a DC for the way, special occassion} and as we checked in I asked my frenemy the beeotch receptionist to take a couple dozen pics of us. She's all, I doubt your in labor, your posing like a premee-donna. Rude!
In response, I just totally started lamozz breathing and crying and shouting, "OUCH, MY PERINEAL IS BURNING!" It actually didn't even hurt yet, but I defiantly didnt want to risk getting the drugs too late and almost dying from pain. Soooo greatful for medicine, and acting.

So, I finally got my epi (I wasn't "technically" "dialated" but one of my dad's doctor friends took care of it), then we talked in baby voices about our love and whether our feti were still in heaven holding hands and singing Saturday's Warriors {who are these children coming down??} and how we were glad they made such good choices to be rewarded w/ entering such a good looking, wealthy home with a buff dad and matching PB cribs. CuddleBear and me commented on how we felt so blessed that this special experience could be so private and my mom, MIL, sisters, SILs, cousins, VTs, wive's club friends, book club friends, bunc/ko friends and HS friends all agreed.

A whole nother tender mercy was two TVs so CuddleLips watched March Madness while I watched Jon & Kate plus 8 reruns at the simultanious time. Honestly, I have the BEST husband EVER, sooo greatful he was seriously the biggest support to me during the commercials.

After a couple hours, I whispered to the feti that there was only one long, dark, moist slip'n'slide between them and a lifetime of Pal memories and I think they heard us! Bc all of a sudden I had a special poop-my-designer-hospital-gown feeling. "BAAAAA!" I shouted, "Holy literal crap! I fill like I'm about to go #2!!!" The DTD and darling nurses came scrambling in and said "Don't push just yet cutie! Your almost there!"

This was it.

I knew it would be tough bc I was cursed slash blessed with a really dainty pelvis. I put aside my US Weekly, turned down the Top 9 AI playlist I was meditating to, took out my white strips, added a couple more mascara coats, visualized the new tickers I could add to my sidebar and how many YW lessons I could use this moment in for the rest of my life, clenched my teensy fists and grunted: "Don't disappoint me, feti!"

My acrylic nails doug into my palms as I tensed, pushed, then heard a ginormous squelchy-slurp noise.

"Holy Shiz!" shouted LoverButtocks, smearing Purel on his big worthy hands.
"I see one of them!"