December 8, 2008

no grater call

Hi guys! Hope you had the BEST weekend EVER! Cute reader Anne wanted to know why I never write about my class (have you seen my profile --> in how I went to hair school slash teach second grade?) and I thought OMH have I seriously not mentioned them?? SO EMBARASING! Am way behind on blogging! Need to catch up and tell you guys about them and when I was the teacher to the cutest, sweatest kids EVER. SECOND GRADE IS THE BOMB DOT COM! Way easier than hair school bc you can hula hoop and the little girls lurved when I did their makeup and would teach them to flirty flirt. Bean a teacher was the BEST, I'm not kidding, the BEST.

The kids ALWAYS told me I was darling which it's so cute they recognize at even a tiny age. Even the cute but icky little pee-his-pants boy (whom had to switch classes bc my perfume gave him some gross rash and I refused to stop wearing it bc you gotta draw the line somewhere and do something for yourself for once and I'm selfless but not a doremat right?), even HE cried when he had to go to the boring class.


A couple uptight moms called in about how all crafts all the time was "more summer camp than second grade" (whatever that means!) so I made sure those kids brought there momses home some SUPER glittery stuff to soften there stone hearts. Esp. cuz I had tons of girls, I was like, which are they seriously going to use more, freaking hard lame NUMBERS that lead to crying and headaches or freaking fun cute CRAFTS that lead to smiles and compliments? Think about it guys...how many cute wives like me have a MATH room?? See!


Teaching rocks and it's so cool I got to do it without going to yawner collidge! Way rewarding, way fun, way cute of me to have taut. Being a teacher was hard but swear I learned more than they did and it was totally for me. Wasn't your niece in my class? What did she say about me? Wish I could of stayed in second grade for seriously ever but I had to bid fairwell to my teaching career. Sad, but it was taking time from all my projects and I could basicly NEVER go to lunch working EVERY SINGLE MORNING from 8 to noon. I love LOVE loved being a teachers aide!

44 comments:

emily said...

omh that is so richus of you to totally set the example like that!

Lisa B. said...

You did have my neice in your class. She was totally bummed when she lost the spelling bee. But like totally thanks for setting the whole family straight that it is R-O-K and not R-O-C-K. That has completly saved me so much
humilitaion.

Rach said...

Ew! You had a pee your pants boy?? And pesky work is seriously ALWAYS getting in the way of "projects"...good for you for putting your wreaths first.

Cheri said...

Okay. I swear to you I know someone this could be based on. She really is a teacher's aide but always talks about "teaching school" like she's a real "collidge" educated teacher. TAMN, you are so dead on sometimes it's freaky.

Trent!? said...

You know, now that you mention it, my wife DOES have a craft room! And she DOESN'T have a math room!

It's all clear now. Thanks, TAMN!

pamc said...

Good to know you have a background in education so you can be an advocate for your offspring when they enter school (of course, with your teaching background, home schooling is an obvious option).

kris said...

You're THAT "Miss TAMN"???

Ugh.

My niece has had fake nails ever since. Even at her baptism. Just yesterday she asked me about permanent makeup.

Sigh.

myimaginaryblog said...

The main thing I remember from my 2nd grade teacher was that she didn't like the letter "i" to look like a lollipop -- you know, with an open circle for a dot. (I'll bet she'd have been fine with a heart for a dot, though. Right?) And I also knew she loved me. Just like I knew the gross kid with the huge rash on his chin loved me.

Mrs. Mordecai said...

Gotta watch out for those puddles!

georgie said...

Hey ima substitute teacher does that count ;-)

Token Asian Friend said...

If those moms care so much about their kids' education, they should go hair school and become a Teacher's Aide themselves.

Kerry said...

This blog = pure joy.

Hizzeather said...

I'm so having a math room in our house...brilliant!

clan of the cave hair said...

I HAVE a math room, what's wrong with you? Math is dabomb! ( I mean, seriously, how, HOW can you grocery shop without a little math in your life?)

Kristina P. said...

I'm sure you class was like that old music video, "Hot for Teacher."

Super, super fun.

Super Step-Mom said...

I wish I could go back in time and send the Kid to your class. They grow up so fast. Quick TAMN invent a machine to keep our cuties little for just a wee bit longer.

Laura Moffitt said...

We seriously need teachers like you. You have to teach again when my freaking fabulous kids are ready for second grade so that they will get the education that will matter latter in life.

Sadie, Corey and Cailyn said...

I wish we had teachers like that here! I mean, my little bean is only 6 months old but you can never start teacher shopping too early!

Mina said...

"bean a teacher"
"icky little pee-his-pants-boy"
"yawner collidge"
"8 to noon"

You are so freaking hilarious, I am SPEECHLESS!!!!

Catherine said...

you so did have my niece in your class! And she was so seriously so blessed to be in your class becuz you taught her and our whole family, that girlz do not belong at colledge. It's just like my niece says, "What guy is ever going to tell you,'nice degree'?" Thanks so much TAMN for helping our fam stay with plan!

marcie said...

On behalf of teachers everywhere, can I just say BARF! And that this was brilliant... very distrubing, but that's TAMN for you which equals much more true than anyone wants to realize.

I'm trying to figure out why I didn't go to hair school and then become a teacher's aide, too... geez, it sure sounds like more fun doing crafts all day long than worrying about literacy and BS like that :)

Sarah said...

"Think about it guys...how many cute wives like me have a MATH room?? See!"

LOVE IT! Thanks for the laugh, TAMN...

Sarah said...

"Think about it guys...how many cute wives like me have a MATH room?? See!"

LOVE IT! Thanks for the laugh, TAMN...

emily said...

you are too stinkin cute. laughing out loud every morning. serioulsy thanking HF every morning noon and night for your comedian talents. i LOVED loved LOVED teaching 3rd and 2nd as well, especially my super fantastic aides;-)i do not miss waking up and bein out the door by 8am, rushing through my lunch, and/or calling the janitor to clean up the pee cause you KNOW they didn't pay me enough to do that!

Justin and Ashley Reeves said...

Tamners, if you go back to being a teachers aide you could get MY 1st graders next year- you'd totally get more pee your pants kids, quite a few "we aren't friends with girls with brown hair" clubs, and a bunch of "its burritos day?? NO! I need to go home now" kids
enjoy!

Kayleigh said...

I never use math. EVER. Glittery crafts have made me learn more in life than I ever thought possible. Glitter requires patience because it gets EvReeWear. SO thankful for patience.

Alli said...

I gave up on math in 11th grade- thank goodness! I had so much more time to learn things like "how to flirt with high school basketball players" and "how to make my scrapbook more darling than anyone else"- you know, the things that matter. I also learned FRENCH- did you know that in Canada 12th grade French=Math??? I almost pee'd my pants when I found that out. The language of love is way more useful than numbers-duh! And besides my husband knows math- why would I need it?

Nicole Busch said...

I know you loved teaching, but being a SHM (stay at home mom) is so much more important! The church wouldn't be trew if you weren't a SHM.

Joel said...

TAMN you are a beacon of feminism, just like sarah palin.

Hobley said...

hah teacher's aide. that's funny. my second grade teacher was a total downer. she had a math room. i can't even remember her name if that tells you anything.

Megz said...

Remember how on pitcher day you brought in your own makeup and hair stuff to 'fix' everybody up to let their inner beauty shine? And even the boys got to wear makeup cause you wanted them to look their best too? I totally don't get why the principal had lots of phone calls that day.

Sarah said...

My kids never bring me anything glittery! What is wrong with their teachers? All I get is, "Hey, Mom. Look at the long division I learned today." and, "I got 100% on the spelling test!"

BOARING!

Brooke said...

HAHAHA!!! I love it. "Doremat?" "I could basically NEVER go to lunch?!!" oh please, oh please, oh please post directions for some of those awesome glittery crafts

Howertons in Iowa said...

So Funny! I love your awesome stories of your life!

Matt and Jennae Porter said...

Teacher's aide... I love it. The only math you need to know is 1 TAMN + 1 JJWT = 2 adorable feti. Simple as that!!

Skip said...

I'll never forget the day my niece came home and told me how many calories were in her entire home-packed lunch (but don't worry, I don't think you taught her real math...just the essentials)!

Diane said...

TAMN you are so more ritchus than I. I went to college and everything to be a teacher and then realized I don't like kids.

You are going to be a way awesome mom, and when they are in school you can teach the teacher how to do crafts when you help out in their classes. I wish I could spell as good as you.

Teresa said...

I'm pretty sure my daughter was in your class b/c she came home every day and her hair was way cuter after school than it was before school started, and I was TOtally greatful to you for teaching her about flat irons and scrunching at such a young age. You WERE the best teacher EVR. So sad those other PTA moms didn't appreciate you! They were LAME and their kids had UG-LEE hair (straight-out-of-bed ponytails, YUCK!)

Libby said...

I want a math room!

Kayleen the Violinist said...

OMG TAMN! My darling hubby found you the PERFECT stocking stuffer this morning. You TOTALLY need this to help out with all your righteous blogging! Check out https://www.keyboardforblondes.com ASAP!!!!!

CutieFruity/TaylorFam said...

TAMNers, you are so wrong on this one, sorry, gorgeous. Math is so oober important when you are a hot trofie wife. scrapbooking? you need to know how to use that ruler! Quilting? You so need math for that! Baking? How are you going to double the recipie to share with your whole mia maid class if you don't know how to multiply fractions? You can't know how great the sale is on that tiny top at the mall if you don't know how to figure percentages. That said, I have a ruler and calculator in my craft room, so I guess it's a MAFT room.

Marisa said...

TAMN, my daughter is in 2nd grade this year and I so totally wish you were her teacher becuz I am so sick of the homework. Homework = boaring. Maybe I can put glitter all over her math homework and then it would be worth it. Then it can be a math slash craft room.

Chelsea said...

So a few years ago they added a new phrase to the YW theme. And this week they added a new value: virtue. If you could add something to the YW theme-- or maybe just make your own YW mantra or something, you know, for your Mia Maids-- what would you have them repeat every week?

soawesomeimightgetarrested said...

math, schmath.

math and my sewing slash craft room have never met...

ummm, is that why everything i do has to be undone and redone?

huh.