April 27, 2009

you're Qs: getting skinny, making babies, rocking tunes

Sorry I haven't blogged in fOrEvEr {two days}! Total slacker I know!! Just so busy reading blogs and stuff. The other day when you guys asked Qs about my life there were a few themes that imerged: getting skinny and making babies, two things that not to brag {I hate bragging} but that I obviously rock at.

The skinnybunz Qs:

The Boob Nazi said: I want to know how close you are to your pre-birth weight. Or is that a duh answer?
Janice & Don said "So I know you didn't get like huge or anything, but exactly how much did you gain with your stinkerbottoms? Have you lost it already?"
Amy said "TAMN, it's time to get into modest-bikini shape. Do you have any tips for slimming down FAST and looking amazing on the beach?"

Honestly, let me keep it real for a sec. Okay? Seriously you guys, I gained hardly anything. The down-there-doc told me I needed to just pack on pounds so I had to down hole milk and stuff and would just hardly gain an ounce even with twins! And, now I'm actually five ell-bees below my pre-preggo weight and there not even a month yet! So awesome slash wierd. I'll even post a ton of modest bikini pics to prove it. BUT if you look to closely you might realize they're actually from last summer, but just play along. lol.

Anyways, I have tonz of dieting tips. Not that I need to diet. I defiantly don't need to. I'm this skinny naturally. But I do have tons of tips. But that's like a whole nother post you guys so sit tight. No seriously, tighten your bum when you sit, I squoze my glutes 24/7 for a month and lost two pant sizes so now I'm a size negative which is a trail bc its impossible to find.

The making babies Qs:


Motion DeSmiths said: "TAMNs I've been married literally months and haven't even had ONE baby yet -- much less TWO!! Tell us how to make our love gardens as fertile as yours."
JessalynKate said "So I think I read that you and fertilebuns weren't trying when you got prego with the twins, but do you have advice for those of us who are trying to plant seeds in our (less than righteous) wombs??"

Ok this one is a sinch. You've probably already been taking prenatals since jr high bc they make your hair and nells grow, so that's a good start. If you want to be a mommy stat but hubby says no, just start accidently forgetting to take your b.c. pills but don't tell anyone. Or, replace them w/ Skittles. Then, nuzzle your brains out, and then pee on a stick, post pictures of the stick you peed on zoomed in so people can see the pee droplets and really feel part of the experience, and act totally flabbergassed about the whole thing. If this doesn't work I have no idea what to tell you, but, I'm pretty sure it always works.

Also, get this, Anne wanted me to turn off the musicplayer!!! She said "your awesomeness shines through way more if we are able to ponder in silence."

Ummmmmmmm, excuse me??

Never!

I love love LOVE knowing that thousands of people swear daily when there ears are assaulted slash startled when they forget to mute their computers. Do you even know me AT ALL!? Seriously, I would rather die than take my playlist off autoplay.

56 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

I'm so happy you answered my question.

Mhana said...

Wow, I'm so glad Motiondesmiths asked because honestly, she has been in my prayers. They even moved to Utah hoping that the sweet waters of Provo would boost fertility and still her baby garden is barren after a YEAR (A YEAR!!!!) of marriage. I think your advice is spot on -- teen pregnancies seem to always be an accident and those stats are on the rise. I guess trying to get preggo is discouraging to potential fetis who like to be a fun surprise! I'm just hoping you'll explain what nuzzlin' is in greater detail. Not yucko DTD detail, I guess I just want to be prepared to cuddle righteously.

myimaginaryblog said...

Funny, I'm actually at 5 lbs less than my pre-giving-birth weight, too! (I was about to say pre-birth weight, but I do weigh a lot more than before I was born.)

Just don't ask me what I weighed *before* my baby was born -- can't wait for your tips on starvation, er, dieting! Have you heard of the cabbage soup diet? Waaay too many calories, I hope you have something better to offer.

Ashlee said...

So, do you think Miley is righteous? I can hear that you lurve her??

whyimstillsingle said...

TAMN, I've been meaning to tell you--I ran across an old college's friend's blog the other day. She had 3 or 4 of the same widgets as you. (And wasn't meaning to be ironic. :))

Allison said...

Your a genius Tamn! What better way to improve a marriage than lying to your loverbunz about taking b/c and then having a baby! Everyone nows babies make marriage way easier, esp. unplanned onez.

Trav said...

skittles? wow

laurie dyer said...

TAMN, do NOT stop your music, pleeze! Everybody KNOWS that MUsic is the way to feel the spirit best. I base my whole IPOD play-list off the music I here on you're blog.

cheyney webb said...

Skittles are a great idea. Maybe that is why I can't get preggers.

the Eggett's said...

TAMN,

Your blog is SO AUTHENTIC because annoying music is shouting at me right when I get on. . . .

I agree with Anne.

love you, but PLEASE take your music off . . ? . . ?

Lauren said...

Oh TAMN, whatever would we do without your helpful hints and uber righteous example? My fertile womb garden needs some planting, so I am so glad I read your blog today! You are such an inspiration!

Anonymous said...

This is your worst post ever!!!

brossettelewis said...

No comments? I'm #1? I don't even know what to say? Oh wait. Why did you remove the March for Babies from your Good Works? The event is May 16 in Utah County.

Oh and where do you eve buy negative clothes? I think double zero was hard to find. You poor momma!

Laurie said...

Okay, TAMN, don't you remember when you had that one B.S. (Britney Spears) song on that had the B word in it?! So rude slash unrighteous. Guy.

Misty said...

hello! If you turned off your music player, I wouldn't be able to get all the latest and greatest off of i-tunes. You keep me in the know about what music is hip!

Paula said...

if i send you a case of diet coke, then will you turn it off auto-play???

brossettelewis said...

Are you playing games with us? I was so excited that I was really you bestest eBFF until I realized you are "approving comments". So we all think we are #1 but really could be like in the triple digits.

Such a frownsmile moment...
{off to check on my darling twins}

Nikki said...

I think it is sich a blessing that when you do go back to church - you have the mia maids to care for the teenies while you do way more important stuff at church!

How do you think this experience will make you an even more righteouser adviser to them?

Laura said...

So when are we going to find out about the Mo-Matchelor results?

bkbills said...

Yeah! First comment! I agree with Anne about the music, but understand your need to educate the world with your "choice" music picks.

The Kindle Family said...

Sweet I am the first to comment!! I love your way awesome tips! I can't wait to hear more about the weight loss ones though! Hurry TAMN I need your ideas!

samiandcase said...

great post!

Mrs. Darling said...

oh, tamn! i wish i could be you! and your music player seriously rocks! love story is my fave!

Token Asian Friend said...

I perma-tighten glutes and abs simultaneously while walking in lunges on my tippy-toes. But, I must be doing something wrong, because I wear a bloaty size 2.

Kari said...

If you can't find your size in clothes (total trail) then just get size 00 and have the mia maids take them in! Or are they too buzy taking care of the babies?!

Also whats up with Ivette?! Has she even come over once to help out or is she too buzy with her new guy from the singles cruze?!

Erin Marie said...

Wow TAMN! Great insite. Cannot wait for some info about what you would do if you needed to diet!! Thxz!!!

Lobbie said...

:)

dharvey said...

Negative size clothes ! Hahahah ! Hilarious. Enduring this trail will make you stronger, TAMN. XOXO from D.

dharvey said...

Oh, P.S. You are seriously so talented, and I have been reading your're blog since Day 1. However, could you please take you're music off auto-play?? I love you, but Taylor Swift...um, not so much.
Just askin....... XOX from D.

Dave said...

That's a real shame about the music player because it's the only thing about your site I can't stand.

Carly said...

I almost always remember to press the mute button before checking out your page... I'm glad you'd never get rid of that... makes the experience that much more authentic.

Shari Davis said...

Wow TAMN! 2 days is incredibly too long not to blog! Please don't go that long again! I ate milk shakes and fries every day while I was preggers with my twinners and gained only 20 lbs. Not everyone is as blessed as us, I guess! And then to be skinnier than before! WE are seriously so blessed!

kris and judd said...

I just LURVE seeing all those positive pee-sticks on peoples facebooks/blogs! Rilly inspiering, I just feel lik I was there every time I see one!

The Bradley's said...

I'm cracking up thinking of people everywhere jumping up and looking for their mute button when they check your blog! I always keep my volume off unless I want to hear something because some people have way icky taste in music...not you of course!

Also, I LOVE the skittles. And I'm just dying to hear these dieting tips...I'm still way frumpy from having 3 babies in 3 years.

Casey and Jeannie said...

I'm like 30 pounds below my pre pregnancy weight, TAMN. But then again I was a cow when I got pregnant last time. "frown smile"

Ashley Ann said...

Thank you so much for the marital insight! Honesty reelly is overrated. And besides, H.F. wouldn't have sent you you're two little babers if it weren't meant to be. Everyone knows that you can't get pregnant unless it's the plan...so it must have been part of the plan and you were just helpin out. Way to seek inspirashion. Your the best!

Liz'n'Steven said...

Your blog is incomplete without a digital scrapbook or two. If you need help, let me know.

Emily S said...

Why is it that even knowing that this is all completely made up, I still feel hatred when reading about not gaining in pregnancy/losing it fast?

Motion DeSmiths said...

SPANKS Tamn! I mean I totally have been taking the Prenatals forever for my nells BUT I didn't even THINK about replacing my BCPs with Skittles. What feti wouldn't want to get fed skittles every day? Taste the rainbow!

ramsam said...

Wow- only five pounds down? I thought it would be more than that...whoopsy! Let's give it another week or two. You'll get there. And can you even believe how nursing just makes your hips so slim and waist so tiny? It is like the weight just melts away!

Josh & Elisa Cornia said...

This blog is HILARIOUS! I love it!

Beth said...

TAMN, you make my day. I know TONZ of ppl who "forget" their BC, but the skittles? Genius... then hubby will think you are still taking them. I need more starvat...err dieting tips.

Megan Gery said...

"flabbergassed".... BAHHHHHHHH

brossettelewis said...

So, your little ones are a little over a month. I know it's not a race and all but when are you having more? Ya can't let what's her face Lyndzie (however she spells it) win. Not that it's a race. The accidental, less than a yr, siblings make for such cute stories and pictures. Plus everyone calls you super mom.

Anonymous said...

when you going to do a post about withholding snuggletimes from JJWT until he does what you want him to do?

Token Asian Friend said...

Do red hots work?

Brooke said...

Assault slash startled ... no better description of my reaction when Miley started blaring out of the speakers tonight. Thanks, TAMN for understanding my needs! What would my day be without a little Hannah Montana?

Anonymous said...

Tamners what are you going to do about all of these horrible comments? Aren't you going to delete those? First off all someone said this was the worst post ever- are you going to tolerate that? Secondly people are actually asking you to take your music off auto play- those people are seriously not true eBFFs!

The Singlutionary said...

I totally heart you're playlist.

Daisy said...

My friend suggested I check out your blog - glad I did. Totally LOLd.

Not that your righteous blessings are anything to laugh about of course - but it does remind me a bit of home (Utah.)

liliblogs said...

TAMN, I say this with the warmest smile/frown ever, but I've been reading your blog every since you started...
And I'm pretty positive your speling has gotten way worst than when you first started blogging. Maybe it's just mommy-brain cells dying. Just sayin! (Smile-frown, cuz' we've been ebffs for a long time now and I know you know I lurve you)

Sarah's blog... and I guess our newlywed blog that I update like twice a year. said...

hey Tamners, how are you guys going to afford living in dc? apartments/mcmansions are uber expensive there... oh, duh, i totes forgot about your grandpa whose serving a mission in uganda and needs someone to house sit his place this summer!! so i guess the real question is, how are you going to choose between your grandpas place and the home that the enternship is offereing you guys to live in? decisions decisions!! life is so hard!

jojoLegerski said...

Whenever I hear the songs on the radio that are on your autoplay playlist...I instantly think of you. Makes my day all happy.

Sarah said...

TAMN, my SIL wouldn't read your blog because she couldn't figure out how to shut off your music. It made my heart hurt.

Trent said...

ummm...pleeeeeeeeeeze dont even think about turning off your autoplay. miley cyrus is like the hottest, second to you of course, tamners! plus the climb is me and my angiebaby's song. its such a comfort knowing all i have to do is go to your blog and i can hear it anytime i want. youre literally an inspiration.

Lisa said...

OH pleeze pck me