September 10, 2009

baby-makin'

Try not to overshare on this blog but it IS my journal, and not THAT many ppl read it, lemme just make a kinda personal announcement without sharing to many de-tells.

Time is zipping by so fast. Tridger & Alivyiah are already 5 mos old! Can you believe?? Anyways, since we still have an adorable ton of 0-3 month cloths that they hardley even got to wear, sooo...





We have been trying to have another baby.


all week.




and still NOTHING.


NOTHING.

Waaaaaaaaaaa! Last time it happened the same nite I thought of it. I called my poor frumpy aunt whose been trying to have a kid for 15 yrs and just said "Hey girl, guess what, I TOTALLY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL NOW!" and just started bawling.

She didn't SAY so but betcha she appreciated it.

Couldn't rilly hear her response, since my darling twins were screaming in the background from burps and over-all adorability, but it was so nice to tell her that I can rilly understand what she's going thru and I bet for her it's just nice to have someone that can RELATE ya know?

104 comments:

Kerry said...

BAHAHAHA!

I love it when you get all controversial.

of COURSE you "get" infertility after a week of trying when you have five month old twins. of COURSE you do.

Stephanie said...

Ouch.

Jensen said...

No one is more sensitive than you, TAMN. Hey, I was wondering how your "diet" is going and how you are staying in shape because I haven't seen you at the gym since you've been back from the mission filld.

Anonymous said...

It's so true, it's people like TAMN that make me feel like I am not good enough. Because my body won't let me have 8 cows (kids), I am not an 8 cow wife. Mahanna me ugly.

kris said...

You know, I bet she DID appreciate that you totally GET HER 15 year struggle.

Rach said...

Wait, you've been trying ALL WEEK and still NOTHING??

I'm trying not to judge you, but something's obvsly wrong.

Frau said...

Your aunt doesn't want someone who can relate, silly. Your aunt wants to drop everything to tend to your broken heart. In fact, I'll bet the reason why she can't get preggo is because God has stopped up her womb JUST so you would have someone to take care of you right now. See, God thinks ahead and arranges the world to make you comfortable.

Ask for meals. (If they bring them to fertile people, they should bring them to infertile people.)

Oh, and make sure you write angry letters to the Ensign when they selfishly put pictures of families in there.

And rage at Yvette that she will never, ever understand childlessness. Because other people without children obviously CHOSE it and can't understand you.

It's OK to lose your testimony over this as long as you get it back next month when you get preggers.

And when your trial is over, make sure you call up your aunt and tell her what you did. Tell her that if she's patient, it will happen to her next month.

The Boob Nazi said...

I love you.
But don't you think telling the world you're trying is too scandalous? I don't know if JJWT will be able to get his next awesome calling after this post....

Cheri said...

Wow.

As someone who has tried for over a decade to have children, I must say, as usual, DEAD ON.

Chelsea said...

It's so great when life gives us challenges that help us understand other people's pain. Like last week when I had a cold, it TOTALLY made me have empathy for that lady in my ward who has cancer.

I totally agree with Frau, you need to follow up and let her know that once you "relaxed" it just happened! I bet she's never relaxed in 15 years and that's why her womb is still barren!

jack+alli said...

L-O-freakin LOUD! sad, but true! so glad you know what it's like to be infertile! totally sucks, huh?!

MidCityGal said...

I can't resist.

You should go on Clomid-- EVERY young Utah Mormon Wife who can't get pregnant within the first week of "trying" goes on Clomid.

Forget that it's a powerful drug that makes you ovulate A LOT of eggs, most young mo-mos just think of it as a fertility vitamin and then are surprised when they have triplets at 18.

Believe me. I took care of all of their multiples in the NICU.

The Knickerbockers said...

How do you do it?

Sarah said...

tamners, you should get a clear blue fertility monitor.

plus maybe its time to, you know, ctr? pay your tithing? magnifiy your calling?

frownsmile.

Krista said...

You're my hero.

By the way, I just noticed that you apparently have enough ads to say that they're paying for your AND Alivyiah's pedis. Can't imagine how yucky a 5 month-old girl's toenails would look without a professional pedicure. I mean, Tridger's are fine since he's manly.

Little Lovables said...

so sweet to reach out to the barren relatives.

she was prolly praying for strength and your phone call was a tender mercy to her broken little heart!

but you know what... I bet sending her (and you) a cupcake would make her feel tons better!

Brynn said...

Please do not turn into one of those infertile women that are all doom and gloom. You know the ones that are so all about their own drama that you can't even announce your pregnant or talk about it with out them being all pouty and in a so not cute way.

Trent!? said...

Just when I think, "Oh, she hasn't pissed anybody off in a while," you totally go there.

You rock.

Kerry said...

ruuuuude.

dharvey said...

The real reason that ppl cannot get preggo is because there tithing is not up to date. The next time you make a sensitive and thoughtful call to your aunt, make sure to tell her to pay her tithing. That way, she can have baby's. Love you, XOXO, D.

Rachel said...

tamners, ur probs not preggo cuz ur gonna get like a rilly big calling like yw prez or something.

Charity said...

Not sure, but maybe those hormones you've been injecting yourself with have something to do with your "problem" this week. Just sayin.

The Bradley's said...

Oh my heck. I was actually sitting ringside (campfire duh!) at a family reunion/party when Cousin A said to Cousin B that she had to try THREE WHOLE MONTHS to get preggo! Cousin B had been trying for years at that point. Totally the same. After all, it's SO HARD to wait a few months.

Also, no affence, but I agree that your barren womb-garden-love-nest-whatever is do to unrichusnuss. Are you back on DC? Or maybe you just need to relax. I've heard that works too.

Moni said...

Everything begin to make sense after one of the commenters on this blog redefined Mormon "not trying" as using no/ineffective/occasional birth control. Building on this premise:
Trying = Perfectly healthy, young couples furiously attempting to chart fertility from the get-go and panicking if pregnancy does not occur within 2 months of trying
Infertility (the kind requiring expensive solutions)= 4 months without conceiving
Unrichus/Pitiful/Not trying hard enough= Person who has gone years without conceiving

Stephanie said...

You should go on Clomid-- EVERY young Utah Mormon Wife who can't get pregnant within the first week of "trying" goes on Clomid.

Ha ha ha. So true.

Carol Brown said...

I'm not so sure it's about tithing. I bet you've been slacking off on your prayers and your scripture study--with the twins and pedis and all. Just spend a little more time praying an studying the BOM, and you'll be preggers in no time.

Anonymous said...

Bless your freaking heart.

Has anyone else noticed that struggling with 'infertility' is the new, cool thing for mommy bloggers to do?

Yes, it's undeniably difficult to wait one, three, five years to have a child, but if you were able to eventually have a child, you aren't infertile. If you've gotten pregnant a second time, you aren't infertile.

I'm kind of sick of it. I know women who are never, ever going to have children, but they aren't young and hip and cool and blogging poetically about their (temporarily) empty wombs, so no one cares about them.

Again, if you eventually had a baby, you aren't infertile. You have no idea what true infertility is like. Be a martyr about something else.

Brynn said...

Being serious for a moment.. Anon@1:23 it is called secondary infertility look it up. It is annoying when people use the term infertile lightly; equally as annoying when people play the who has it worse game. Trust me someone always has it worse.

: ) Paula said...

I see this exact blog post over and over and over. And bless Anonymous' heart, she's right. I "got" infertility ages ago as an adoptive mom and until I delivered my first biological child. But it's a one-way street--I can't go back and commiserate with infertile women when I'm a mom.

What a post, TAMN--and I'm definitely guilty of looking at those 0-3 month outfits and thinking (even for a second) about how cute a new baby'd look in 'em.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous who discussed the careless use of the word "infertility" -

I agree with you that it is tossed around too much by people who it doesn't apply to. I also agree that if you have a baby you have no idea what true infertility is.

That said, it is sometimes Doctors who tell us women that we are dealing with infertility. I have lost two babies in pregnancy. I don't consider myself infertile. My doctors do. I believe I belong in a different category, not more or less, just different. But my doctors disagree.

You are right, that word is used too often when it doesn't apply. But some people don't know what other words to use to describe their pain, and their doctors and friends try supplying the word infertile.
-L

D said...

Are there still people out there like Anonymous (1:23) who think you are real? Just sayin...

Anyhow - this is spot on. This is my first time commenting. You hit this one out of the park.

Polly said...

Maybe you need an ovulation ticker. And it'd be great if you posted your temperature each morning.

myimaginaryblog said...

We are such SOUL MATES.

About 13 years ago, before blogs, (possibly also before the invention of the wheel,) I sent a half-joking email to my family in Utah that I might be barren 'cause we'd been trying for a couple of months and I wasn't pregnant. What I didn't know was that pregnancy tests don't work until you're a few weeks along. (I had my first baby about 8 months later.)

Oh, and I so know what you mean about those 0-3 months clothes going to waste! It would be nice if they could be worn more than the one time. (But not more than one time per baby, it's not like you're a scrounge or anything!)

Gordita said...

Your aunt is sooo blessed to have you in her family. I mean you totally get it and then are even thoughtful enough to call her. Wow!

Kristine said...

wow anon, a bit bitter are we? I have one IVF baby and I feel for everyone who goes through this . . .

NEwayz . . . just wanted to say dead on. Heard this one a few times. So I'll come right back you with my other favorite comment: you just need to relax! (I feel like offering recording my attempted conceptions so they can give me more tips at that point).

Kathryn said...

How 'bout those of us whose husbands can't have kids. All the "fun" infertility treatment drama is STILL put upon our womanly bodies. Watch out, TAMN, your sweet spirited hubby might be the problem here...grill him to the bone about what he's been doing this past week.

Kristine said...

You could seriously have secondary infertility! What if the twins are all you'll ever get?!


On the serious side: While I may never know what it's like to truly be infertile, I do know what heartache feels like. I can cry with those that miss the experience of pregnancy. Because, of the friends I have, they always seem to be the ones that deserve that blessing the most.

Kristi said...

Oh. My. GOSH.

Anonymous said...

Awesome.

Anna said...

Good grief, TAMN, how do you do it?!

Awesome post, spot on, as others have already said.

Scarlett said...

Poor TAMN. Infertility is the WORST! I have to tell you, I'm a little disappointed you waited this long to have another baby. A true daughter of God would have started trying immediatly!

Maybe you should go on another cruise. That's what I keep telling my hubby!

MILF said...

TAMN way to be the quintessential mormon sympathizer. Very noble of you to share how you can relate. Definitely a testimony to share next fast sunday. You'll have the entire ward just nodding with glistening eyes in agreement with just how hard it is & remembering their hard weeks. And the halls will be filled with talk about how much of a saint you are by trying to replenish the earth with adorableness.

I'm may be infertile but looking back I laugh at how much time I wasted crying over it (years not minutes). Once i remembered my hotness and that Me and Hubs are freaking awesome, there have been tons and tons of pregger unweds (and some wedded) wanting us to take their spawn.

Mellifera said...

"Last time it happened the same nite I thought of it."

What do you mean, the same "nite I thought of it"?

Didn't you say you were on the Pill and you have NO idea how it happened?

I'm getting all confused and kind of judgy. Darling TAMN, please set my poor little befuddled self strait before my husband reminds me where people who lie to their e-bffs go. {frownsmile}

DangGina said...

Can't wait to see what you name the next batch! -It'll happen, you just gotta show your faith somehow...

Stephanie said...

Since fertility is totally attached to your worthiness to go to the temple, you should really start thinking about what you have been doing in your life that made it so you couldn't get pregnant - cuz that's what all infertile women should do!

Anonymous said...

If I ever write a book it will be called 'Tonite is Not a Word.'

Anonymous said...

Anonymous D said...

Are there still people out there like Anonymous (1:23) who think you are real? Just sayin...

Anyhow - this is spot on. This is my first time commenting. You hit this one out of the park.

9/10/09 2:34 PM

I was using 'you' in a general sort of way.

Anonymous said...

I think the way your are acting right now you must be pregnant right now and with multiples again. Your just two hormonal.

The test was just wrong, you did get the multipack at costco right? Just take another one tomorrow.

On a more serious I love seeing so many ads for couples wanting to adopt on the site. It's a long hard process.

whyimstillsingle said...

You must not be righteous enough. {frownsmile}

Steph said...

Oh TAMN.. have you considered adoption??? There are soooooooooooo mnay intercity babies who need a good home. Plus, I heard that when you start to adopt, you almost always get pregnant.

JM said...

hmmm... don't you mean you called and started "balling"? that's how all the other blogs I read spell it...

Melissa said...

Do-tell the "de-tells"! I overshare everyday! It makes me so classy. I had secondary infertility then I had my thurd and forth babies 9 months apart! My sister has infertility issues and she's so sensitive about the whole baby thing! I don't think she sees the big picture and knows she's probably being blessed in other ways. {frownsmile}

Sarah said...

I can't believe you weren't prego at your 6 week visit. You are definitely already behind all of us who are magnifying our "ultimate calling" of motherhood if you aren't about 3 months away from delivering again. I think you are in need of some serious repentance, it's usually a problem with the woman being evil. I'm over the "frownsmile" on this one, you just get the disappointed eye brow lift with a bit of "oh no you di'nt" attitude.

heather said...

Too. Dang. True.

-Love it.

Token Asian Friend said...

I mostly love the fact that, if she's been "trying for a week" and is upset about not being pregnant when she technically has another week to go before she can even find out.

Wait another week TAMN before you start filling out the adoption papers.

Rachel said...

If you rilly are trying to make a baby TAMN, yull post a "trying to conceive" ticker from Lilypie on you're blog (my favorite is the one with the 2 rabbitts).

Barbara said...

No what TAMN? It's a good thing you called your poor aunt. The best thing you can do now is let everyone in your family no how rilly sensitive you are. Make sure they all pull you aside before they announce that their preggers so your fillings aren't hurt. And ANYTIME someone has the audacity to bless a baby in Sacrament meeting, run our in tears. This will help peopul understand your struggles. (Maybe the RS Prez could organize an UNbaby shower- I mean where are the consolation gifts for not being rightous enough to conceive?)

Jeannie said...

You don't think...

no never mind.

Well, um. Maybe I should just mention it..

You don't think JJWT could be drinking

*whispering*

Mountain Dew?

sterlingandbrandi said...

I just realized that I totally know you TAMN!! After years of infertility and adopting my first, you couldn't stand to be around me when I was pregnant with my IVF baby because you had been trying for 3 mos! I totally understand now that you DO totally get me and it was unfair for me to flaunt my suddenly fertile self.

P.S. the reason I can't conceive naturally is because I am an unrichus crack ho. I admit it.

Melissa Durtschi said...

TAMN,

You better go see your down there doc right away... I've heard sometimes it takes MONTHS for that to happen, maybe they could give you clomid or some'thn...

whitney! said...

@Brynn who thinks that infertile women are all "into their own drama" and "pouty but not in a cute way."
I hope you're not serious, but then I'm really not surprised. You can't be expected to step away from hanging the wooden letters of your unborn baby's name over their crib to think that *gasp* some women would love to do that but will never get the chance.
Some women would gladly have morning sickness every single day if it meant they could feel a baby kick inside them. Some women would willingly have stretch marks, heart burn, swollen feet and be 08 months pregnant in the middle of July if it meant that they could deliver a baby they conceived.
Cut these women some slack. Every announcement, babyshower and complaint they hear is just another reminder of something they desperately want but realistically may never have.
Coming to such a realization means mourning a loss of something they never would have thought they'd have to give up.
It's a grieving process. Give them a break and hug your babies a little tighter.

The G Fam said...

Oh Tamn. Thanks for the laughs!

Elissa said...

Yes, I'm sure she really appreciates your empathy. There's nothing like trying for a week with no success. After that, heck, you might as well have been trying for 10 years. Good thing you're meaning to be ironic or I would say something really rude.

GladysIcanbee said...

While I totally love that you allow us to read your journal and share in your speshulness, I'm inspired that you continue to post ads for couples hoping to adopt while you struggle with your newly acquired infertility. U R so selfless!

Brynn said...

Whitney like many the majority of the comments on this blog I was no where near serious.I am surprised the other comments weren't more offensive to you as well. All, I am sure, were said in the spirit of the blog.

I am sorry for your loss, and I truly do mean that.

I still think TAMN shouldn't get all pouty unless she is wearing some rockin' pink lip gloss. I *heart* U TAMN!

Brynn said...

One more thing since you have me feeling so guilty. I think the reason why my so not serious post offended you over post like being infertile means your not temple worthy; is because it is more plausible that someone would say or think what I posted.

Offense can not be given only taken. Perhaps you feel defensive because you think others feel this way towards you.

If someone actually does, they are not worth it. I can honestly say most people are understanding women who are have lost or are having problems with fertility, and feel deep sympathy for them. I really doubt most people think they are being pouty and dramatic. If someone were shallow and all into them self like, say *wink wink* then you can see why I jokingly posted that.

I am totally dragging this blog down with my deepness, keep it shallow TAMN!

jdb in AZ said...

Brynn didn't say ALL infertile women were drama queens. Some people handle their trials with grace and dignity. Others get upset when they don't get preggers on their honeymoon. My adopted daughter has been trying to get preggers for several years now. I tell her she inherited her infertility problems from me. When life smacks you in the face you can either laugh or cry. My daughter tries to be upbeat and congratulates her cousins who have recently "hatched" another kid, but DD recently asked to be released from the Primary. I used to ache when I passed by the Primary room. When I visited the hospital and saw a group of pregnant ladies on a tour of the facilities I had to turn around and walk the other way. When I had a miscarriage my mother told me I'd have to plant it better next time. When my baby died in I still had to face the naive friends who asked, "When are you going to start your family?" And all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good. I didn't realize at the time those hard knocks would later help me help my DD as she struggles with the same issues.

Melinda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kemra said...

Wow!

Erin said...

Bahahaha.
Love it.
Definitely go on Clomid.

Girl of Many Words said...

Ever heard of "Too Much Information?" Wow and you call yourself a mormon?

Laura said...

I think this is one of my favorite posts of all time.

Kristen's mom said...

Your starting kinda early aren't you? I mean I had 6 kids in 12 years but 3 kids in 2 years? YOU GO GIRL!

Petit Elefant said...

I'd be balling to.

Sarah F said...

looks like some angry people don't really get the satire of this blog!

hmmmmmm how many times a day are you trying is what i want to know ;)

Jessie said...

This post is a JOKE. How can you truly empathize with someone's 15 YEAR struggle to have a child when you've only been trying for 1 WEEK? PLUS - you were already blessed with two beautiful twins, so I don't really see how you could relate to her at all. She probably didn't tell you she appreciated your call because she was more offended than anything. And then you refer to her in your post as "frumpy"? Yeah, I wouldn't appreciate hearing from you either.

Girl of Many Words said...

I agree with Jessie. Well said Jessie. Oh btw get a life!

The Hills said...

Dear Jessie. Your first line is right. The post really IS a joke. The whole blog is a joke! sheesh, calm down.

For all you people getting offended, you obviously don't know many TAMNS (lucky you). I sat next to one the other day at a baby shower who complained to a girl who tried for years to have a baby that she really just wanted the doctor to give her clomid and be done with it (opposed to doing any testing or consulting) because, Geez she had been trying for six months!

Erin said...

Seriously? Are there people who still don't get that this is not real?? I don't know how you couldn't know!

Diana Croshaw said...

Jessie, are you new here?

Lauren said...

I love this blog and know it's a joke blog, but it doesn't make it hurt any less for those of us who have fertility issues!

Nichole said...

I actually know someone who had 4 kids and then was so frustrated when she couldn't get pregnant within 2 months of trying for her fifth! As someone who had to use an egg donor to get pregnant I thought your post was hilarious and dead on.

Jessie said...

Actually... I'm not from Utah and I definitely don't know many TAMNs. I stumbled across the link to this lovely blog from a friend's page. After I posted my comment I realized there were zero pictures and noticed the media reviews on the side - putting 2 and 2 together I get the whole thing now. It actually is kind of funny... but don't worry, I don't think I'll be coming back to rain on everyone's parade.

GladysIcanbee said...

Tammers, Jessie needs a e-hug....

debbie said...

Jessie,
Please come back! Sometimes the posts DO hit issues that we are individually sensitive to, but mostly they're a silly way to poke fun at ourselves and maybe strive to be a little less harsh in our judgment of others. TAMN is so centered on herself that she can't have empathy for others. We all get that way from time to time and this is a great way to remind us to knock it off.

Sue said...

Jessie really rain on the parade. I am still trying to figure out this blog enlighten me please.

Karen said...

ummmm, TAMN, ya know those frumpy moms of 6 kids... the old (29), icky ones who look so run down????

Of corse you do!

Well, this is how it happenz... they keep popping up preggers.

Warning. It cud happen 2 U. I suggest you keep *trying* while taken thoze lttle pillz.

good if your friends *think* ur trying (wink wink) but don't really try. You could get stretch marks this time...

Pete's Peppers said...

I have never heard someone else say exactly what I am thinking when it comes to this. Thanks you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stephanie said...

Ha ha ha ha. Love Karen's comment!

Little Lovables said...

Blogger Girl of Many Words said...

I agree with Jessie. Well said Jessie. Oh btw get a life!


--hahaaaa!!!!

granny said...

Oh my goodness. Is there anything more entertaining than angry, riled-up Mormon Mommies?

Girl of Many Words said...

Actually I was talking to TAMN when I said "Get a life" not Jessie. I want to hear more from Jessie but seems TAMN won't allow it.

BYU Athletic Supporter said...

You are such an inspiration of perseverance and faith!!

Megalopolis said...

MILF--You freaking rule. Thanks for validating everything I've been feeling in trying to combat my negative feelings about my and my husband's "Saharan-like barrenness"...and Karen, I totally see like fifty of those run-down mamas in my ward each week. Chasing around sunbeams and a kid in each arm all day...NO, GRACIAS!

Kerry said...

I love these posts when people go nuts. TAMN 4-evah!!

p.s. I'm pretty sure it says "comment deleted by author" when the person who wrote the comment deletes it, and "commend deleted by a blog administrator" when TAMN deletes it.

GOOD LUCK OVULATING!!!

Beckie said...

Oh my entertaining! :)

Brian and chelsea said...

Oh crap... you caught me.

Baby Steps said...

To Girl of Many Words:

This blog is a satire. As in... it's not real. Click the links on the sidebar of Seriously So Blessed in the news. Then it might make more sense.

The reason this blog is so entertaining for some, and so offensive to others, is because it's exaggerating all of the weird things that are seen in the Mormon mommy culture, and compiling it all into one fake person - TAMN.

To those who get offended because of infertility or any other touchy subjects: She's not making fun of infertility, she's making fun of people who ACT like they understand infertility when they don't. Anyone who's dealt with fertility issues (myself included) should find these posts particularly funny, not offensive. It's the people in REAL life who say the stupidest things (if you've been through IF, you know what I mean...) that are offensive. TAMN is bringing that to light.

*stepping off my soapbox*

StephNyd said...

Dead on! Serious laughing on my part.

Rachelle said...

Oh how I love you, TAMN,

SarahJane said...

BabySteps -
I don't think it's TAMN that's offensive. I laughed at the post. It's the comments that are offensive. Unfortunately, there are commentors who are less artful in their delivery and convey insulting ideas without a hint of the absurd irony that we love (and expect) from TAMN.

If you're going to try to be funny, try a little harder. Having a Leader in my ward say that I'm not temple worthy didn't sound like a joke - wish he would have read TAMN.

Cristin said...

Are you sure you're paying your tithing?

Laura said...

No more hot tubbin' for you two!

Jody said...

I am an Infertile Lds woman who has been very blessed to adopt 2 beautiful girls. I find it VERY offensive, and narrowminded that people believe infertility is brought on by not being faithful enough. How can you make such horrible comments to someone dealing with such a hurtful thing? If you only pray more, read your scriptures more, pay tithing, fulfill your calling THEN you will get pregnant. This implies that infertility is a punishment to those who are just not doing enough spiritually. I think those kinds of comments may be ment well but are not taken well.