November 24, 2009

give thanx for ME

You guyyyyyys!!! Hasn't this last week been a bunch of rediculous ups and downs--New Moon {up!} and no more Oprah {down!} AND Ree-al winning {up I guess!}!! So crazy Thanksgiving seriously snuck up on me and here we are like two days away from it. Honestly, a TON of people need my help this year so I am now taking your Qs about your holliday dillemmas, like my own version of the angel tree but more Victoria Secret then hobo, you know?

For starters, our dear Mhana has posed some dewzies.
For the holidays, how much time do I HAVE to spend with my husband's family? Is One hour on Thanksgiving enough to balence spending Christmas and New Years with Mine?
Seriously are your concerns short or long terms? Just depends on how bad you want to be able to boss him. Spend one w/ them now so you can spend all with your's later! Of course YOUR fam is most important but what's nice about spending time with HIS is that then you can spend the rest of your life pouting over pics from that holliday and saying you ALWAYS spend time with his fam and NEVER do anything with your's so then you can get your way w/o tons of effort. Tad sneaky yet way genious.
Also, I don't have any decorations. Is it super hip to have all the new ones so everyone knows I'm not lame and reusing old out of style stuff or do I need to buy stuff that LOOKS vintage slash anteak so I seem like I've been married FoREveR and we have tons of traditions and stuff?

What the crud? You don't have any decorations? Are you a BOY? Puuuuke! WOOD BLOCK LETTERS FOR EVERYTHING! if you seriously don't have anything, now is not the time to be picky. New ones from Tai Pan or old looking ones from etsy, whatever, just make it look like some sparkly holliday damask monster puked on your PB furniture and then blog photos of your decorations from wierd angles and then start saying you have a "lifestyle' or 'design" blog and everyone will know your faithful.

31 comments:

Frau said...

I have the same wreath for Thanksgiving AND Halloween. I've been trying to repent but my sinful ways are so comfortable.

Frau said...

Oh, and I am sort of a boy. The DTD verified that I have all those girly bits. But back when I was a spinsty I was always told I didn't want to commit because I was a boy deep down.

Of course I was just waiting for my Edward. Or actually, it was my Edward who told me that. I dumped him because he was totally yawners (no hobbies except me and that cut into my scrapping/ pedi/ reading trash time), had too many mirrors, and the potential to be a sociopath.

I was waiting for my JJWT in med/law/business school. He showed up but apparently he didn't get the boyness out of me because I still use the same wreath for multiple months.

dharvey said...

TAMN, what a great idea to take pix of sparkly holliday decorations and blog them at wierd angles. Seriously so genious ! I am going to follow youre excellent advise. Love you, XOXO

Sarah said...

" just make it look like some sparkly holliday damask monster puked on your PB furniture and then blog photos of your decorations from wierd angles and then start saying you have a "lifestyle' or 'design" blog and everyone will know your faithful. "

oh tamn, i havent laughed this hard since you last posted.

The Boob Nazi said...

But why haven't you been posting what you're greatful for?!?!

whyimstillsingle said...

I don't have any decorations, either. Guess I need to get on that.

Paulina said...

Validated. This is genious.

GladysIcanbee said...

Seriously so greatful for TAMN and her decorating/fashion/parenting advise. It's my "I'm thankful for.." status today on Facebook.

Melissa C said...

No decorations, are you kidding me? Haven't you been going to your (formerly known as) Enrichment Super Saturdays and making more Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter/Valentines decorations every year than you know what to do with? I need to buy more tables this year for all my centerpeices that I have made, let alone everything from PB.

Whitney said...

Um, so how much glitter is too much glitter? Because I feel like the blogger world is telling me to buy it by the truck load.

Mhana said...

No offence but for someone who is perportably so interested in making my holladay cute you sure never pick me randomly for gifting. I was thinking of changing Christmas theme colors from masculine Red and green to pretty pink and lime 'cause my hubbylover grew up with only brothers and he needs to understand how femenine Christmas is meant to be. Since money is seriously, so tight {not 'cause we're in debt 'cause we're not that much and with daddy's Halloween and THanksgiving checks we're probalbly still going to get the complete Pottery Barn house but its hip to act frugle} I think instead of going through etsy I'll just bear testimony/solicit pity from all the etsy venders in my ward to decorate. If any of you read this, my holliday colors are pink and lime with lavendar accents! Lurve ya!

treen said...

When doing your weird angle pics of your decorations, also make sure to do the shot so close-up you can hardly tell what it is.

Victory In Progress said...

Scary in its accuracy.

Wordy Wife said...

I went into Tai Pan for the first time last weekend... everything in that store makes me want to vomit.

Ruthykins said...

thanks, tamn! you always give the best advice! i also feel like thanksgiving creeped up on me. thanks for letting me know that it happened to you, too.

Sarah said...

Two words. Glitter spray paint. Do it now. Even on the PB furniture - this is holiday life or death we're talking about!

kris said...

TAMN, you ARE sneaky and genious. Love you.

Kerry said...

SO GLAD FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY!

What should I give as my neighborhood gifts this year? And how soon can I email friends and family my Amazon wishlist?

Jennifer said...

So, I shouldn't still have my Halloween decorations up?

Molly in the Jello Belt said...

Mhana's comment cracked me up because just last week someone showed me her new Christmas decorations that were pink and lime green and I thought it was seriously sickening. I guess those are the new trendy colors (what happened to navy blue and silver?) and I'm out of the loop.

And TAMN, why the heck are you blogging about Christmas decorations!? You need to put up a post so us all can argue about whether Edward or Jacob is hottier! (It's Jacob, btw).

Western Warmth said...

It's really kind of sad, but I left this post open for quite awhile to keep your playlist goin' on my computer. You're too hip, TAMN!

Girlfriends Fit Clique said...

I will tell you why Thanksgiving sneaks up on you??? Because the stores go from the scary Halloween to the happy snowman. What has happened to Thanksgiving and where has it gone. On a serious note forget Tai Pan hit the dollar store. I still have my dollar store plates and snowman from the BYU(had to have decro days) and I get the question "did you get those plates and Macys" all the time and I smile and say you BET!!!!!

Mrs. Clark said...

Ah! Love this! Makes me glad I'm old and don't have Pottery Barn furniture (though I do have damask on my couch, though it's not black and white or pink and lime). And my old, married-forever decorations are a nice Christmas red and rich dark Christmas green. I also don't do the crafts at Super Saturday anymore--I volunteer to do the food and cleanup now so nobody notices I'm not making an FHE board with vinyl letters.

Happy Thanksgiving, TAMN and all your clever e-bff's!

jdb in AZ said...

Not to get off topic (but I will anyway) what did you think of Donny Osmond winning Dancing with the Stars last night? I know we should support our fellow Mormons (including Stephenie Meyer) as part of fellowship, otherwise we'll be like seagulls who don't eat crickets. Or sports fans who don't like BYU footbrawl.

Anna said...

TAMN, I'm surprised you didn't blog about the multiple perks of glitterd decore! Srzly, glitter is sparkly and pritty anywayz when its on you're centerpeices, garlands, and wreaths, and candles, and wood blocks, and ect. BUT! that glitter which inevitebly falls off can so totally be put to use as body and hair glitter. Not to mention anyone who comes in to your house and sits down will also be blessed by said glitter somehow managing to get on that person as well! People will be thinking of you for DAYS as they continue to find glitter on them and they will remember what a holliday wonderland you have going on in your hip house!

Motion DeSmiths said...

Mmkay, I have a quick question:
Is it hip and ironical to participate in an "ugly christmas sweater" party? or is it just ugly? Because I don't want to risk a hip injury, if you knowwhatti mean. If it can be hip and ironiclike then are there perimiters on which sweaters to wear? or like should I wear it with sparkly leggings? I dunno. HELP1!!!

Bridges said...

Well I am really upset tonight at my "D"-H, so when I read you were taking questions I thought, "who better than the TAMNers to help me through this trial?!"
So my EC goes, "What do you want for Christmas?" So I played dumb and told him I'd have to think about it, of course.(As if I haven't been thinking about this sence my birthday in October!)So I made a list, but then I dropped a teeny hint about the ONLY thing on my list, (a Cannon digital SLR Camera with a detachable telephoto lens and FREE case on sale for $849.97 at a MAJOR retailer on Black Friday!!!), and he's like, "Why would you put THAT on your list?" Well...NOW what do I do? {{{sniffle}}} Why did he ask me what I wanted and then MOCK me? I just fill like ripping up the d*ng list! {{{tears}}} Please help me TAMN ~ I don't know what to do!

Rebecca said...

"WOOD BLOCK LETTERS FOR EVERYTHING!"

Best. Line. Ever.

And oh so accurate. Eerie.

Rebecca said...

Motion DeSmiths,

I'm definitely not as cool as Tamners, but here goes: Wear a fantastically ugly sweater as long as its dominant color is your best color, and shrink it WAAAAY small so that it displays all of your loverliness. Sparkle tights, definitely.

Jenny said...

Right on. Reading this and knowing it is satire still makes me want to scream. You have hit the nail on the head. Bravo!!! Now I am screaming. I have so much shame because I Iack in the holiday decor and will continue to do so because we are actually trying to spend money on necessary things. I am amazed at people who have so much time to spend on decorating for a holiday.

myimaginaryblog said...

Bridges, wow, if I'd known about that sale, that might have gone on my list, too. Black Friday's not quite over yet--but I'm too lazy to go shopping tonight. Also I just got a point 'n' shoot. Oh well, I can live with a point 'n' shoot for another year I guess.

Woops, 'scuze me for rambling in your comments, TAMN.


I guess my question could be: What are you doing for preschool for the twinzies?