January 19, 2010

You're Qs: punishment & fhe

Hi guys! SOOO many of you are just OOZING Qs lately!! Here're a couple~
Q: Motion DeSmiths asked, "What is the cutest way to punish your hubbers when he's wrong? I mean making him sleep on the couch is so cleeshay and no man could be in so much trouble that he has to clean the kitchen or change a diaper. NOT cute."
A: Honestly I wouldn't know bc me and JJWT never fight or disagree but high-patheticly, you can withhold nuzzling indefinately and/or purposely leave the pudding or juicebox out of his lunch for a whole week so he knows your serious.
Q: Erin P asked, "What's your favorite FHE activity? How do you get the twins to pay attention and JJWT to preside so hotly?"
A: This is SUCH a great time of year for this Q, not bc it's the beginning of twenny-ten so time for resolutions like CTR more, but bc The Batchelor is on and that IS fhe! Jake just SEEMS like he's in on the plan and then you take turns w/drawing eternal principals from it {don't drink or you seem crazy CHRISTINA, carefully orchastrate your passive aggressive moves or they can backfire ELIZABETH, the line btwn seeming righteous and seeming desperate is thin and all depends on how intensely you say "I really, really, really want a husband" MICHELLE, etc.}

It's neat for our fam bc we always close by praying for Jake to find love, and we ask Alivyiah and Tridger why there their and they sign "for the right reasons." LOVE traditions.

41 comments:

stewbert said...

high-patheticly. awesome.

Lindsey said...

"... and they sign for the right reasons."

SO DANG GOOD!! I love you, TAMNers. This is one of my favorites. Thanks for the laughs, as always. :)

Maren said...

baaahahahahahaha! "and they sign 'for the right reasons'."

Paul and Deborah Speed said...

You should totally teach a YW lesson on eternal principles you can learn from the Bachelor. There are soo many.

The Bradley's said...

I SO needed a laugh and I SO got it! Thanks TAMN!

Wordy Wife said...

I laughed out loud at "preside so hotly!"

The Boob Nazi said...

I love you. "there their." perfect.

Mhana said...

Oh my heck you're for serious leaving out ROZLYN -- hello, talk about a lesson in ChAsTiTY!!! I'm plannin' to show that part to my Sunday School kids (not YW pout pout) so the girls learn that they might be the forerunner in some righteous ablicious man's heart and he'll be willing to extend the Rose of Commitment but then if you mess around like a skanky hooch (not mean because I'm describing) then it will be taken from you and you will become the cockroach in the ice cream of love. And the young men will learn not to trust girls who act TOO sexy, just girls who are sexy-demure like Ali, who is basically a member.

You also forgot the lesson of Tenley, who stayed a virgin until her first husband and saved her kisses ever since so she could plant one on Jake at the first opportunity then cry about it. Chastity again!

What about Vienna, who loves her daddy so much because he gives her everything, like our Father in Heaven has given us?

I'm saving last nights' episode for tonight so sorry if these are a TEENSY bit out of date. We usually spend OUR Fhe watching the Sunday shows we DVRed -- you don't watch TV on the SABBATH do you?! Pitysmile.

Cindy said...

LOL you crack me up!

Kari Beth said...

LOL. You just made my day so much better. And now I realized I didn't even think about FHE last night because I was watching the Bachelor.

Kristen said...

I love that you watch "The Batchelor" too and we can judge, I mean, discuss those girls on your blog! I'm so glad crazy desperate Michelle is gone, I'd watch out for Yvette, she might end up like her if she doesn't get married right away! It's good you're having the twins watch too so they can form good gospel principles about true love!

Emily said...

Oh, I want to be just like you when I grow up TAMN. Good thing I watch the Bachelor so I understand this.

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Michelle said...

You are insane and how do you even come up with words like high-patheticly? You crack me up.

VikiViki said...

"high-patheticly"... one of my favorite terms you've ever come up with. Thanks for the laughs.

Jenna and Chris said...

I'm trying to figure out what to learn from Vienna besides, "Get a brain". Any ideas?

Meg N. said...

TAMNers,

I was @ my aunts' house this weekend and i saw a baby announcement on her rilly precious and vintage bulletin board for a baby named BRIDGER! I thought it said TRIDGER for a sec and I was like "OMGEE! MY AUNT KNOWS TAMN!!!!" Oh well. she's not as ritchus as I thot. well, luv ya Tamn.

theferrisoneofall said...

I love that your almost 10 month olds pay attention so perfectly! I can't even get my 8, 5 and 3 year old to pay attention in FHE!! I'm sooo not righteous enough I guess!

myimaginaryblog said...

That sounds so much better than if, during the 3rd family council you've ever held in your 12+ years of being a family, you foolishly promise your 5-year-old you'll make gingerbread cookies for FHE, and then your husband goes to run a couple errands that take way longer than expected (not his fault, or I would totally take away his "pudding cup") and you end up trying to have fun while supervising 4 young kids cutting out and decorating cookies with no parental backup. Ugh. Glad I now know from you what to do differently!

mandy said...

just pure awesome!

GladysIcanbee said...

I was taught in a Relief Society lesson once that FHE is anything that includes a root beer float. have the twin's learned to sign that?

Jessica said...

I can't wait to have my own little family so we can have richeous FHE's like yours.
For now I'm stuck playing Human Fooseball with the singles ward. Ick.

Melly said...

Loved your comment Mhana!

a fan said...

I was at a friend's house and they had a little wooden sign {with vinyl, of course} that said FHE and there was a peg for each family member. Above the pegs were jobs for FHE like "closing prayer." Then you just hang a family member's name on each peg so they all rotate jobs. I was so intrigued. I'm sure you have one already {probably invented it!} but I'm wondering what your job descriptions are. Maybe "turn the TV on" or "fast forward through commercials" or "poor rootbeer over ice cream". In your teensy case I'm sure you poor DC over local fro-yo.

LOVE high-pathetical and withholding nuzzle and pudding.

Melinda in the Jello Belt said...

I believe that I will forever after threaten my husband with withholding his pudding cup if he fails to meet my every need.

Also, Mhana rocks.

The Prude said...

Oh dear.... you are so not cool. You don't have one of the rad vinyl FHE boards?! And where the heack are all your crafts? You are not a perfect wife and mother unless you craft!

Laurel said...

ha! ha! I had to read the "why there their" a few times to get what you meant. ;) Loved your Bachelor analysis. I read a spoiler and now have lots a teensy bit of interest since the winner was not one of my top 5 picks for Jake. The fact that I have anything in common with you is suddenly a bit disconcerting though...

Anonymous said...

It is extremely interesting for me to read the blog. Thanks for it. I like such themes and everything connected to them. BTW, try to add some images :).

Carrie K said...

This is great! Appreciated this commentary on the commentaries of the show!

Tiffany said...

Made me laugh aloud--again! Love the description of the Bachelor FHE... too funny!

Little Lovables said...

The Prude... I'm she sure has some FHE crafts.

Like a Spin the Bachelor wheel, where the ladies faces are on the wheel, and whoever gets spun that night is the one that TAMN teaches the high-pathetical eternal lesson about.

The spinner prolly is way glittery too.

Or, The Bachelor Bingo! Complete with m&m's for game pieces.

Motion DeSmiths said...

Those punishments ARE cute! I had no idea you could even say no to nuzzling when your hubby wants it. GRATE idea.

But I think if it ever hyperthetically comes up for me I will leave my homemade cookies out of hubbkins lunch which will be even way cuter than leaving out a juice box or pudding from some stinky manufacturer. He'll know I'm intentionally omitting my love.

Allison said...

My favorite eternal principal: "carefully orchastrate your passive aggressive moves or they can backfire"

Kari said...

Love this ENTIRE post! I love that your twinners can sign "for the right reasons" and that you close by praying for Jake to find LOVE!!!! LOVE IT ALL!

Ashley is Blogalicious! said...

I love this blog.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you post pictures of yourself?

Mrs. Clark said...

One of your best, TAMN. I might even watch The Bachelor now!

Little GrumpyAngel said...

love the comment from Mhana---hilarious! Enjoyed this post a lot. You are so righteous!

Muum said...

thanks for the GREAT tips for FHE! WE all need to know how to improve our passive-aggressive 'moves'

what's up with Anonymous' comments?

Melinda in the Jello Belt said...

I want to thank you for this post. "No pudding cup for you!" is now our favorite way to threaten each other.

Heather B said...

I think your FHE answer is my favorite thing you've ever written. I LOVE IT!