June 1, 2010

literally

Just FYIs:

I would rather die then be pregnant in my thirties.

76 comments:

Hilary said...

Hmmm, you should see how it looks on a 40 year old.
Sadders.
Swear.

Brianne said...

OMG that wood just be soo appauling! Dont ever do it, TAMN!

gigi said...

I'm sorry ;)

Deborah said...

I thought I was the only one who thought that way. I'm glad I'm not the only one!!

Foxy said...

Bahahaha! But, seriously, ew...

Frau said...

I think you actually DO die if you're pregnant in your 30s. At least I don't see any pregnant 30-year-olds at church. I'm pretty sure they all died.

OK, so my husband has a cousin who's stepfather's aunt's sister got pregnant in her 30s. But (don't tell) she's not a member so I think they can do things like that without getting struck down because they didn't make the same covenants.

Kristina P. said...

This is why I plan to just buy some babies out of the back of the van, since I am the ripe old age of 32.

Elizabeth said...

Me too...but listen, don't tell anyone...my due date is TECHNICALLY after my 29+1 day. But it's not my fault that pregnancy is really 10 months instead of 9! Why didn't someone tell me?

Whitney said...

I used to think that... now I can't imagine having an AGI of less than $400k before giving birth.

Steve and Alli said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA This is hilarious, because I live by this code of no kids after 30. Thanks TAMN!

Chelsea said...

Or even worse...LATE 30s! Ugh!

Gina said...

I can think of something worse than being pregnant in your 30's. Being pregnant in your 40's!

erica said...

but that's what all the cool celebs are doing.

kathy said...

Jist a reminder - it's June 1st, which is literally the first day of summer, and you still have your spring header up with Easter eggs on it and stuff. Are you filling okay? Can't believe you'd let something like that slip by you...

Mhana said...

Whoa, did you hear about Celine or John Travolta's wife? Golly. Since I will be havin' my children after 30 I plan to go all defient granola and pity pout at women who had stretch marks at 21 whereas I got mine the more beautiful way -- eating a lot of food WITHOUT a precious seed from god in my tummers. Seriously, how sad is it when women are 45 and still don't have grandchildren? I feel sooooo sorry for them.

Grandma Cebe said...

It's not so bad being pregnant in your 30s. I had 4 kids between 32 and 39. But, I'm pretty sure that being pregnant in your 40s would make you want to die.

Aonika and Richard said...

Yeah - I totally agree - That's why DH and I got ourselves fixed...

Sarah said...

I KNOW!!! Seriously so icky! This lady I know had a baby on her hip at her daughter's wedding. Way to spread 'em out, weirdo!!!

AND another friend of mine was {pReGgO} at the SAME TIME as her mom! HELLO, how is her mom supposed to {PaMpEr} her and take the baby off her hands when she's having another one of her own?!?!? For rude!!!

JorgenMan said...

I didn't even think it was possible to get pregnant when you're dead. That would be a major bummer.

The Fredericks said...

this is HILARIOUS

AzĂșcar said...

GROSS!

Jordan said...

I'm already way more frumpers than you'll ever be, so I thought I'd just go all the way down and be pregnant until the end of the summer...just after I turn 30. Shudder.

Sarah said...

TAMN. Thank you SO MUCH for updating your playlist. I was starting to get sick of it.

And I'm going to echo Erica: that's what all the celebs are doing. I thought you would totally idolize them. Just sayin'.

The Mormon Life said...

Yeah, I am married and almost 27 and I haven't had kids yet, it's so embarrassing. Speshally cause I teach the laurels and I can't even talk about being an amazing Mom yet.

See Mom Smile said...

Had my last one at 38. My body felt 48 at the time. And now trying to raise all SIX I am feeling about 58....

Erin said...

I so agree. THANK GOODNESS my daughter was born 2.5 months premature to save me the embarrassment of being pregnant when I was 30 (I was due 2 months after my 30th...)
Oh. Woops. I'm currently sitting in the hospital being induced w/#2. And, I'm 31.
I'm so ashamed.
(FRAU: you cracked me up!)

Sarah said...

I'm sure that can be arranged.

This is Carrie said...

Another LOL post. Awesome.

Courtney said...

@Erin-you seriously crack me up: at the hospital being induced and you check the blog? I really hope you are serious cuz that's awesome!

Token Asian Friend said...

I know! Who wants to be a mom that actually looks old enough to be a mom instead of a cute big sister?

ilovelucy said...

OK So I would rather be pregnant in my thirties than twenties. Too many babies having babies and then those poor teachers in school have to disciple both the parents and the children because they both act like children. OH did I actually say that. I have seen way to many young clueless parents in my childrens classes this year.

myimaginaryblog said...

This time you've crossed the line. ;)

Steph said...

omg for serious. don't those ladies think about how embarrassing it will be to be over 45 at there kids graduations??? gross.

debbie said...

But people always guess your age by how old your kidlets are. If you're 50 but have a two year old, people think your like 25 instead of 50. But I don't EVER plan on being 50. Ew!

Little Lovables said...

A lot of old people ae clueless prents too, iluvelucy, with their crazy old wives tales and castor oil and putting butter on burns and such.

Trisha said...

Oh my gosh. I actually thought that when I was 19 getting married. You are so on all the time:)

Jessica said...

I know TAMN....but I'm getting worried. I'm 27 and still single. I know a lot can happen in 3 yrs, but still....I can't produce a church basketball team in that short a time period and still retain my super hottness.
Pray for me.

Erin Spenc said...

OK I Love love love it. But I honestly secretly agree.

help4family said...

Thanks TAMN for helping me make my decision. I have 3 already (born before I was 30) and was deciding whether to have more! BUT, I'm 32 now. So, decision made.

arly said...

I have long been disgusted by this blog. I know you think it's all in good humor to poke fun at what you see are cultural stereotypes, but it really is just a platform for you to validate yourself as being better than someone else who makes a different choice than you. It's a way for Mormon women to create a hierarchy among themselves. So even though that's what you're poking fun at, you're actually perpetuating it yourself. As a Mormon woman, I find it appalling. If you spent time getting to know the women you base your caricature on, you would realize just how wrong you are. It is already so hard to truly love people and see past outward appearances; I don't see why you should spend so much of your energy solidifying and validating people's need to be better than someone else.

The Mostess said...

Yuckers. I'm 34 and knocked up for the first time, and it's soooo gross and embersing.

I KNEW I should have married that weird dumpster diving 21 year old dude when I was 20. I could have had 6 kids by now, and never have gone to college. I totes missed out on the good life.

KELLY JASPER said...

die and be berried. NOT creamated

The Mostess said...

@ Arly--Don't go too hard on TAMNers. Someone really said this to me a few months ago. They were talking about how they were having their kids back to back because "they didn't want to be old, having kids in their 30's." This person knows that not only am I 34, we had to do fertility treatments to get le bebe.

Cultural stereotypes? Maybe. Dead freaking on? Absolutely. And the only thing you can do is laugh.

Flannery said...

I think Arly has a valid point on this one. I think the author of this blog has a definite tendency to oversimplify serious issues. For example, it takes courage to go up to someone and say "Hey, what you just said hurt me, and I would like to talk about it with you." The author of this blog takes the attitude that the right thing to do with the TAMNs and JJWTs in our lives is to ignore them, roll your eyes, and smirk. I disagree. As funny as this blog is, that kind of attitude does nothing to change unhealthy social norms within the Church.

Megan at Hogwarts said...

I thought that when I was getting married at 19, but last month we had #7 and I am 33. THANK YOU for this blog. In it, I often see the views I had when I was young and find myself thankful for the trails/experiences I've had to teach me. (Also a bit embarrassed and ashamed remembering how I used to think. Having seven kids will definitely cure any perfectionism in ya!) I know some people are offended, but reading this blog reminds me to focus on what is really important and what the gospel is really about. Excellent satire!

kris said...

1. I love this post.

2. This blog is therapy for me.

3. I love how every couple of months someone must chime in and psychoanalyze this blog and what it's "perpetuating" or "embracing" and blahblahblah. No one says they're better than anyone else. It is what it is. Would you rather laugh or cry? Come on.

Jennifer said...

I'm not going to lie... I see myself in this blog sometimes. Yet I still love it. Sometimes we all get caught up with stuff that just doesn't matter in the long run. Since my daughter was diagnosed with autism a few months ago, this blog has been a weird kind of therapy for me. It's allowed me to channel my frustration and anger against an imaginary person and laugh at myself when I think back over what used to be a big deal to me. Thank you to whoever writes these posts.

Sarah said...

Um, if you've long been disgusted by a blog why do you keep reading it?

I'm just saying...

Crystal said...

I'm 35 and can't wait to have another. I laughed out loud when I read your post because some lame mormon tards actually think this way. You know the type...the child brides who have four babies before they are even 25.

dharvey said...

Arly wrote:

"It is already so hard to truly love people and see past outward appearances"
__________

This blog, in part, pokes fun at people who cannot see past outward appearances.
Many of us have had an encounter with judgmental people who have intimidated us or made a hurtful remark. This blog takes some of the pain away by ridiculing that type of behavior. So, the topics here are more about true spirituality and the Gospel than they seem to be. "Read between the lines", and you'll see the true message.

Kris said...

Arly and Flannery - you've got to get your SSB glasses on. TAMN isn't perpetuating. Take a deep breath and read her post again. You're on the same side.

JenB said...

Oh my heck TAMNers, what if you AKSHULLY aksidentally get pregnant when your in you're 30s?! What would you do?

Cristin said...

True story: In my BYU family ward a girl had a baby with down syndrome. Upon hearing the news, another girl in my ward said in all seriousness, "Well, she is 27."

hiphousegirl said...

Cristin, what a story! Yeesh. Where do these people come from?

And TAMN, thanks for writing. It's therapy for some, and "disgusting" for others- the beauty is that we all have a choice of whether or not to read it!

Oh and Kathy, you made me LOL.

Jennifer said...

Seriously. If my angelbuns wants any kind of nuzzling after I turn 29, he's better get his vaxectomy snipped.

jdb in AZ said...

If forty is the new thirty, does that mean thirty is the new twenty? What does that say about brides who have babies in their teens?

My niece was almost 30 when she despaired of having more kids. She already had two and the second one was invitro. I told her she still had some good years left on her and she took offense to that. Then she got preggers a few mos later without any medical intervention.

The Sauls Family said...

-- Cristin, what a story! Yeesh. Where do these people come from? --

Utah. Idaho. Probably Arizona.

The Life of Kory and Jane said...

Arly- I see you're in New York. This is mainly "making fun" of the Utah mom stereotypes because people really do say these things all the time; many of the people who read this blog have probably done it, and maybe it makes them step back a second and realize that these things really aren't that big of a deal. I've been married for 5 years (I'm 25) and going to school- I had a girl tell me, very seriously, that I was going to be an old mom if I waited much longer to have kids. It will be sad when I can't play with my kids when they're in their twenties.

So obviously, people really think this way and that's what's sad...and funny to laugh about. :)

Sarah said...

-- Cristin, what a story! Yeesh. Where do these people come from? --

Also California.

Heather said...

OMG TAMN are you locking people up and forcing them to read your blog again? Because I can't imagine why judgy judgy's would be making stupid comments unless they were forced against their will to read this.


Remember "The Plan" people, Jesus gave you free agency for a reason.

What's it like to be my friend? Probably awesome said...

love this blog. definitely had a girl in young womens when we were 15 tells me she wanted five kids and would never have a baby when she was thirty cuz "that's just gross"

Dorothy said...

Yeah, because wisdom and experience are nothing compared with hotness and youth! Glad to see you know what kids these days need!

Brynn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
: ) Paula said...

Heather: Best. Rebuttal. Ever.

Blogs-turned-bragging-boards-for-only-the-perfect-parts-of-life are what this author spoofs at Seriously So Blessed. So while there are occasional young LDS moms who confuse portraying social perfection with living the Gospel,
Arly, Flannery, et.al. need to remember the bottom line here: TAMN's is the best blog on the planet. Period.

Lanie Ree said...

OMG ME TOO!!!

But my hubby is already 28, and we don't have ANY babies, and he just won't even think about starting until after his second year of Dental School (I am so mad!). And I want at least 5!! Or 7. The point is how does he expect this to happen?? You are SO LUCKY to have twins.

Talina said...

I used to know a guy that wanted 6 kids, all 2 years apart and wanted his wife to stop having kids at 30. I was like, "Um, have you ever done the math on that? Cause you'd better go out and find yourself an 18 year old to start popping out kids with."
If only he'd met you before JJWT swept you up. :)

Lisa Lou said...

Ew. Old AND fat.

Carrot Jello said...

Yeah, I had kids in my 20's, skipped the 30's, and am having more kids in my 40's and 50's.
It was a nice break.

Pippi Longstocking said...

That's why I'm going to have 2 of my own before I turn 30, and then adopt the heck out of foreign kids after I turn 30. Trust me, it's a good plan. :)

Eva said...

the comments were the best this time. Srsly. All y'all deserve medals!

Had my first at 29--but it was a "young 29" and everybody thought I was like 20! Take notes, TAMN sweetie.

Rachel Stella said...

So I'm 27 tomorrow and PAST DUE AS IN LAST WEEK THIS LITTLE GUY SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE with my second. So I'm thinking I might take like the maximum dose of clomid the second this baby is born so I can be sure to have some good tripplets or more before I'm thirty which would make my family number nice and big and totally holy.

1002 South said...

Hmmm. . . who's bitter, Brynn?

Gwen said...

Amen.

Star said...

I seriously Guffawed at that one!

Janika said...

Chances of having multiple birth pregnancy doubles after age 35. Had I known I might not have let God intervene and give me twins, but I am probably not a real Mormon since that was a full year into my *second* marriage. But how else could I make up for my empty and alone womb from letting the first hubby get snipped after the fourth child? Still, I think having 6 children instead of four, makes me a truly faithful saint. I don't know how the 2 stepkids factor into my personal righteousness, though.

Caryl said...

Bwaahahahahahahahhaaaaa.
Heh. Welcome to my world, kid.