September 10, 2010

{lurve}: profound, beautiful, intense

Guys?
I love Ikea so much I want to hug it until it crumples into a little bean-shaped ball and then I'll plant it in the ground and watch it grow into a fragrant flower then pluck it and sniff it and feed it to a cow that I'll then milk and make ice cream and scoop it up onto a cone and smash it in my face I love it that much.

49 comments:

Sarah said...

OMGosh! I fill {{ExAcTaLy}} the same weigh!

The Hargrove Family said...

Hahahahahahahaha

The Hargrove Family said...

Hahahahahahaha

Steve and Alli said...

OMG TAMN!!! You sure know how to hit the nail on the head!

Laurie said...

You are SO LUCKY that you live close to an IKEA store. I am dieing because I live in the desert and they won't come here. But I would still like to smash an ice cream in my face - maybe I will do that when it reaches 100 degrees in a few hours.

Jewel said...

Wow. That's TRUE love.

Erin said...

Seriously! HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF!?
<3 it.

Whitney said...

wow...that is love.

LanaBanana said...

ummm, did I hear you right that you like ikea? Wha? Have you just totally abandoned pottery barn now??

Shari said...

Ugh....I hate that place. Full on anxiety attack just thinking of walking in there.

Emily said...

i don't think my love for anything compares to your love for ikea.

wonderful.

Melissa said...

That was the singlely longest sentence of trueness to my feelings I have ever heard, ever.

Kristin said...

I'm totes shocked its not Pottery barn or Serena and Lily, I mean... Ikeas prices are resonable... TAMN you know even if you are having money troubles you have to continue spending money like its water!! people knowing you are poor equals no invitations to couple retreats in cabo! and that equals no CK!!!

Kamity said...

So glad you're not going to EAT the IKEA-cream. It would make you a fat preggo, and that would just be gross.

Jamie said...

Wow - pure poetry! hahaha made me laugh-out-loud :)

Christine said...

That is pretty intense. I've never been there before. Maybe I should go... Who knows. Maybe I will arrive at the same poetic conclusion you just did. ;)

Sarah said...

Do you keep your energy up there by eating half a Swedish meatball? I mean quarter! Sorry, TAMN. Didn't mean to imply anything.

Jessica said...

Uhh...TAMN, that sounds like a lot of work. How about making JJWT do it? You can't be expected to do MORE labor in your delicate condintion. You can supervise from you cute IKEA chair.

Briana said...

i think that might be the weirdest thing i've ever heard.

but i still love you tamn! (frownsmile)

JennyX said...

Kind of not your typical post. Ikea? I thought it wasn't expensive enough or be of a high enough status.

And for real, I totally agree with you!

Megan said...

OMHeck I love IKEA too!!!
I just wish I could pronownce all those weird Swedish words all over the place...blerg!
And the lingonberry juice must be like super good for you.

Chrystie said...

Oh TAMN, you're post is like opening up my cute little brain and scooping it out and slapping my thots up on you're computer screen, but like, EVEN BETTER!! My love for Ikea knows no bounds.

BreAnn said...

I love Ikea so much I named my oldest child Ikea. (I'm a one-up champion)

Kristen said...

TAMN, you're not...downgrading your shopping, right? Since when do you look for dills and shop at reasonably priced places? Next we'll hear that you eat at, dare I say it, Taco Bell instead of Rio!

heather said...

I really thought you were more of a Pottery Barn kind of girl. Hmm.

debbie said...

Ikea equals ICK!!! You have to put that stuff together yourself. Who would do that!?! And NOT VINTAGE AT ALL. Alice Lane is the style and the stuff. And they do it so you don't have to re-do your nails or anything like that afterward. And the prices don't make your neighbors think that you need welfare assistance.

McKinley said...

TAMNs that was really deep! I would have to second your motion!

Rebecca said...

WOW! That is creative.

Liz Robertson said...

How do you pronounce TAMN? 'Tam' or 'Tam-in'?

GladysIcanbee said...

It's the circle of life....how very deep of you.

Anna said...

Wow.

Laurel said...

That's great you like Ikea, but my guess is you're missing out on the Swedish fish, fifty cent hot dogs, and European chocolate. Then again, JJWT did divulge that you're up an el-bee. Hmmm...

Synergy Girl said...

So would now be a bad time to discuss my IKEA virginity???

myimaginaryblog said...

It's so beautiful when you express yourself abstractly.

Megan's comment just reminded me of my favorite Ikea anecdote, which was when we had bought some Ikea hangers and hooks for our kitchen, and my husband said, "Are you sure you want to have something in our home that's called GRUNDTAL?"

Mhana said...

Wow. I would of thought you'd be more faithful to the Only True political system. Didn't you know that Ikea is from like Sweden (duh, they serve meatballs in the cafeteria) and their SOCIALIST there? Seriously, they provide ucky things like leave for parents with sick children, paternity and maternity leave, health care for everyone and a bunch of other gross granola feminist stuff their. I sort of assumed the full extent of your feminism was supporting Sarah Palin because she is a woman but now I see that by buying home assembly furniture you basically are sending all of JJWT's hard earned AMERICAN DOLLARS to a SOCIALIST COUNTRY to support THERE SOCIALISM. Gosh, its like you've never heard of patriotism, and on patriot day too. Pitysmile.

Rebecca said...

You are one of my favorite people and this is why!

Rachel said...

This is one of my most favorite things you've ever written :) Genius!

Laurel said...

@Mhana - yeah, TAMN really should be supporting socialism right here in the US of A... ;)

ramsam said...

I am so inspired by your love. What a ray of sunshine in my
dark and dreary world.

Salt H2O said...

ew, Ikea is what you use when you can't afford Pottery Barn.

Sorry you're poor.

Little Lovables said...

It shows depth that you are branching out and just now noticing the wonderfulness that is ikea. so humbling to see your love of it and admittance that you love a good *cough* bargain.

Besides, regurgitated Ikea Ice Cream facials are great for the pores.

Mary said...

So worried about things at the TAMN household. IKEA is for... you know... kinda trashy middle class types. It's just one step up from D.I. For reals.

Are you guys okay????? Have you run out of student loan funds?

*frownsmile*

You poor thing.

Marjory Stuart-Baxter said...

Favorite post EVER.

Laura said...

ok, as funny as this is, I can't see anyone actually saying things like this (this post, the one before, the one before that, the one before that and on and on). not to say I'm so cool and don't know any losers (insert frownsmile), but I wish I could actually get a peek at some of the blogs you are spoofing b/c ARE PPL REALLY THIS LAME? since I love TAMN and she doesn't lie (bc she wants to create a world in the aftermathlife full of diamonds and free of coal), I believe this is a real spoofy thing, but who are these real ppl posting such ridiculousness all the time????? (TAMNy, please email me at your earliest nonreality tv watching moment to share the blogs you get your material from)!!!!

Alison said...

On that note...

A tutorial post or just a post on something that you made, or a room that you redecorated for basically zero $ because you are JUST that big of a genius would be great.

Common theme in most of my friends blogs these days. I got this for $1 at DI, this is an old door nob I found laying in the gutter, this was a child's shirt on clearance that I revamped into a shirt for myself... etc. etc. etc.

Not jealous or annoyed here.. just noticing a VERY common theme. :)

Michelle loves Landon said...

TAMN, I would love to squish you into a tiny little bean and plant you into my lush backyard garden and care for you and watch you blossom into the beautiful person you are. And then keep you all to my self so I can laugh all day long!

Mom D said...

Oh Laura, yes this spoof is spot on. I see blogs about newlywed college students spending 1300 dollars on a water purifier. It is very common to see pictures of the couple in front of the Temple in their wedding attire and underneath it are pictures of her in a bikini. One lady took pictures of her hubby's grandparents out of their antique frames, sprayed them purple and used them to display her daughter's hideous hair bows with ginormous flowers on them. She thought the pictures were "creepy." She doesn't realize how creepy her daughter looks with a gigantic flower on her head. I've found the non private blogs are the ones to watch, because they want the entire world to see their fabulousness. If you're reading your friends private blogs, you probably won't see the type of outrageousness spoofed here. But yes, lack of humility on blogs is alive and well. They have amazing hubby's, kids, parties, vacays and are fabulous cooks just like Martha.

Laura said...

MomD - ewwww and LOL right now. ginorm bows creep me out -- esp. displayed in purple spray painted frames. and all other things associated w/ ridiculous blogs.

Renny said...

No offense TAMN but that second bracket followed by the colon looks like a frowny faced dude with a mustache.

Mustache = perv

What are you TEACHING on this blog?