December 10, 2010

hyperventing

This is starting to get scarry!!! I am still seriously so blessed and way happy, just freaking out. JJWT just said all these things aren't 'neccessities' now that he is temporarily between jobs:
  • my kitchen remodel!
  • all my Christmas wishlist's!
  • the nicer ipad i need!
  • my entire New Year wishlist's!
  • my half-birthday cruise!
  • all the boot's I got my heart set on!
  • he even forbidded me to go to any of my friends home-based business parties.! I can't go to any of them! ALL WEEK!
  • all of this month's craft shows, maybe next month's to!
  • hcg!
  • anthro!
  • all new scrappin' supplies, off limits!
  • the next Brian Regan concert!
  • the internet!
  • and worse of all, girl time unless it's free! {is that even a thing!?}

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

he'll have to relax on the internet--isn't blogging how you supplement the family income?

Emily Drennan said...

are you SIRIUS???

Sarah said...

U forgot 3-D ultrasound shriek!!! I don't know how u'll do it TAMN! I hope the ward doesint decide to do the 12 days of Christmas fer u guys...that wuld be imbarsing!

Laura said...

but your hair and nells and lasering are necessitees, right? every 2-4 weeks, right? whew!

Alison Wonderland said...

Joke's on him though. You're prego which means you make your own HCG. (No seriously, HCG is a hormone pregnant women make.)

Anyway, all the rest is really sad. *Frownsmile*

Sally T. said...

Whoa, Tamn. Seriously, whoa.

He's not talking about moving in with family yet tho, right????? That's when you know it's REALLY bad.

me said...

Um. The Internet? Why doesn't he just shut off the gas and water?

jdb in AZ said...

Since your blog advertisers help support you more than JJWT at the moment, that makes the Internet a necessity!

Peggy said...

What is this? Prison? I think this is unreasonable and therapy is maybe in order. P.S. I know we're your ebff's so you can be completely honest with us, but when talking to others, don't mention that he's "between jobs" just say he's on a "sabatical." It sounds so much more righteious.

: ) Paula said...

Okay, he's between jobs. He can take away your kitchen remodel, all your Christmas wishlist's, the nicer ipad u need, your entire New Year wishlist's, your half-birthday cruise, ALL the boot's you got your heart set on, ur friends home-based business parties, all of this month's craft shows, maybe next month's to, hcg, anthro, all new scrappin' supplies, the internet, and girl time unless it's free!

But OH. . . NO. . . HE. . . DI'N'T. . . TAKE AWAY the next Brian Regan concert!

I love that guy!

(My spellchecker is going nuts right now, it's so hard to imitate TAMN! Must. Not. Fix. Spelling.)

Ginger said...

Love how the internet is so low on the list.

Lisa Marie said...

Hold up. The internet? So are you taking a break from blogging. Say it aint so!!!

Mishqueen said...

Whoa, did he really say the internet?? Them be FIGHTIN' words!

erica said...

does that mean no blogging because of the no internet deal? so we'll see you...?

Motion DeSmiths said...

You don't really even need to BUY hcg when you're preggo? Go ahead and starve yourself anyways, your body has hcg to spare! What a tender mercy during your trial.

Brooke said...

TAMN -- how will you blog without the INTERNET??!!! You can come to my house if you need to. My husband still has his job. {frownsmile} Guess that extra 4 percent tithing paid off!

Brooke said...

The internet isn't a necessity?!? How exactly does he plan to network, then? How will you BLOG?

Frau said...

TAMN, let me introduce you to the greatest words ever invented: I work too. That means that you are always running ragged passing the twinners off to Glamma and Queenie, telling the gardener what to do, choosing new marble countertops for the kitchen, etc. He doesn't understand that even though you "Stay at home" you are hard at work just like him. And that gives you the right to spend any money you feel like spending just like every other working person does!

And I wouldn't worry about the HCG. Do you know what that is? It's that stuff that you are making in your pee for FREE. Seriously, it's that stuff that makes that second line appear on preggo tests. (I mean for those people who aren't spiritual enough to KNOW and need to rely on those arm-of-fleshy tests.) All you need to do is keep some cups handy in the bathroom, buy a box of syringes (totally cheap) and you've got a new home business! I'd modpodge red glitter onto the syringes and tie them with bows just to make them extra cute.

And everyone knows that even the mean husbands who don't take working as an excuse to spend unlimited cash, earning money certainly IS.

You are welcome.

Mellifera said...

My favorite part of this here whinefest is little link at the bottom that says...

"0 VALIDATION'S"

Janelle said...

The internet? Are you going to have to go to the library to blog? So tacky.

Alli said...

No home-based business parties? Waahhh! I love feeling pressured to buy things from people just because I know them! I'm so sorry TAMN! Maybe you could host one at your house and you'll get some free stuff for hosting. That would be such a tender mercy!!!

Bridges said...

The INTERNET!?!?! What, does he want you to go to the libary?

Mary said...

No, I can tell you right now that Free Girl Time is defiantly NOT a Thing.

**hugs**

Kerry said...

WHAT IS WITH MORMONS AND BRIAN REGAN??????????

love it.

Emily said...

hahahahaha

kris said...

wait, so you can't go to ANY of the home-based business parties that are happening this week????

KC said...

okay, so the half birthday cruise is out. but the three-fifths birthday one is still on, right?

GladysIcanbee said...

does that mean generic diet cola too? tears.

myimaginaryblog said...

I just wrote you the best comment ever and it disappeared in a glitch, so I think the Universe hates me as much as it hates you right now!

Anyway, forgive me, but this has to be said: You and JJWT are BOTH going to have to make some tough comprises. You might have to dip into your crafting stash a little, or tell you're friends you can only come to they're home-based-business parties if you can co-host. But JJWT needs to comprise, too. Explain to him that its equatively important for you to keep up your moral. You NEED the internet and you're cute clothes and you're wish lists and cruises so you can stay the kind of upbeat and optimistic person who's husband finds a new, better job rightaway.

Also, as you make these hard sacrafices, remember that even though it's hard to see it now, when we have these trails they always lead to something even better. With our own plans we are just building a little cottage, but God wants to build a mantion!

For instants, this might be the perfect opportunity for JJWT to pool all his money with his best friend from high school, get a bunch of people in your ward to invest, and start a new direct-marketing business.

Jensen said...

Doesn't he realize that by depriving you these necessities for a while, that you will totally "binge" when you finally get them back?! And he can't be serious about the internet! How are you suppost to blog--go to the library and use the free internet?! Hello!!!!! Library internet is for Marian the Librarian and the other spinsty frumps! Time to find Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas on your iPod and have yourself a mopey little pout out! That'll make him reconsider his pre-employment status.

Jewel said...

Wow. I'm just so amazed with your positiveness during your trial. I know I for sure wouldn't think I had the most blessed life ever if MY husband took away my reasons for living! :[ Frownsmile :]

Rach said...

I don't think it's "forbidded," I think it's "forbaden." It's okay TAMN, I mix those up a lot too.

And, LOL at myimaginaryblog...let me guess, a juice company?

debbie said...

Without the HCG thing, you may gain an lb or 10, and then you won't be cute and you will HAVE to BUY new clothes. Those are both big downers for JJWT, so just explain them to him in a rational, sweet, slightly whiny-pouty way, and he'll totally agree that you can't just cut out LIVING from the budget. (Budget is such a yucky, clean-the-bathroom sort of word. Sorry to have used it on you're blog.)

Nicole said...

the internet? are you leaving us!

Stefanie said...

Dang it Tamners! He is takin it 2 far this time. If JJWT doesn't have a bran new I-pad under your Tai Pan dream tree, I am seriously gonna call the cops on his amotionally abusive darling butt.

MissGirl said...

This is just the lord telling you it's time to start up you own home buzness. I think lingerie party.

Mother Eagle said...

You cant be sirius bout the internet!!!!!!! Thats like taking away your oxigen or water or Oprah.

Chrystie said...

Internet, schminternet! He has no rite to take away the boots that you already have already boughten in your heart (which totally means that you have already boughten them for reals according to the bible). It is just too late in the season back out now. By the time he gets another job, boot season might be totally OVER (*sob!*)

Julie said...

Oh TAMN! JJWT obviously has not recently looked at the vinyl lettering you strategically put on the wall in his home office- "Happy wife=Happy life." Poor thing! That's ok, just add one above the screen in your movie room. That should do the trick!

JJWT must not realize that by asking you to give up your NEEDS, you run the risk of becoming **gasp** AVERAGE! Just go ahead and buy you and the twinsies Christmas outfits at Target or, even worse, Walmart (sorry I said that word on your blog) and he'll see just how ugly average can be. You'll be back at anthro and all the trendy-here-today-gone-tomorrow children's boutiques. MKay!
Oh, one other suggestion. Talk to the EQ President and let him know there have been way to many snoozer lessons about Provident Living and such. Tell him your "friend" (wink, wink) and her husband have been having some troubles lately because he is neglecting her basic needs and not nurturing her sweet, selfless spirit and that he has become down right selfish. Weren't the guys just warned about Selfishness and Pride at Conference??!! Two big evils you know nothing about, right Tamn! Tell him it might be a great idea to spend a lot of time on these lessons instead of those boring ol stay-out-of-debt-plan-for-the-future stuff. That should do the trick for a righteous hubby like yours.
Lurve ya! Endure to the end, or at least until your next spa day.

Stephanie said...

TAMN, I can't believe how self centered you're being. Not once have you thought of your dear children and how you can use them as leverage to get the things you need! Just explain to JJTW that your adorable twins CANNOT be the only ones in nursery whose mother hasn't gotten enough new boots, or been to enough home-based business parties. Does he want them to be social outcasts because of what he is doing to you? Seriously.

G. Gaynor said...

Well, there are other things you can get for a half birthday besides a cruise. Go to http://halfbirthday.com

dharvey said...

Oh, poor TAMN ! I can see JJWT taking away extra pairs of boot's....but taking away Brian Regan concerts? Oh, my heck. That is a trail which is difficult to endure. Bear up, my dear. Love you, XOXO.

Nan said...

umm. Who's Brian Regan?

Crystal Pistol said...

Make him work nights.

He should not be sleeping soundly whilst the shop girls at Anthro are pacing the floors and wondering where you are!

Its a travesty of the worstest offense of possible offenses in the world of The offended.

The Rummler Family said...

I think you should go back to school and get a degree in Anthropology. That way you can get paid for buying total presh stuff!

Little Lovables said...

PLEAZE tell me he's letting you keep both of your tanning memberships at the two separate gyms!!!!!!

Just let the church buy ur groceries for a few months and yo can still do all your fun shopping!

Laura said...

is that offer in Fargo still available for the taking?

Mom D said...

Plz don't be scarred. All you need to do is sign up for medicare, after all that's all the rage in Utah county. They'll pay for your baby, wisdom teeth removal and maybe even some botox or a nip and tuck after the baby comes. Have both you and JJWT's paren'ts pay for your living expensives like rent and food and utlities. Than JJWT unemployments checks can pay for mani/pedis and other neccesities.

Dana DeLuca said...

Please tell me you won't have to shop for your make up at the grocery store, or worse, WalMart? How could you survive without that $100 bottle of face lotion?!

Erin said...

I'm so addicted to your life.

Well, you could always move to Idaho. It's cool to be poor, here. In fact, people judge you if you're NOT on food stamps.

Don't worry! Insert scrap-book-like portions of the Proclamation throughout the house/car/wherever JJWT might see it so he can remember it's his marital responsibility to not be pre-employed.

Cyndi Watkins said...

OMGosh! You actually used an apostrophe correctly in "this month's craft shows." You must be seriously distressed.

Jessica said...

Thanks goodness he didn't mention pedi's!

jonathan said...

how do half of these people not understand that this blog is satirical

Crystal Pistol said...

Jonathan~
I don't even know what that big "S" word means! But TAMN would never lead us wrongly. This is her REAL, TRUE LIFE! Sheesh! Have some respect, why don't ya.

Merry Holly Days

thebigbookofdating said...

Ahhhh I sooo know that overwhelmed feeling! I too feel over worked and underpaid with a million things on top of that to do!
Good luck!
(: