Member a couple months after I was first preggers, how no one offered to throw me a shower so I announced in the good news minute that I was throwing my own??
Well.
Yesterday I was just fellowshipping the cuter MiaMaids into sluffing sunday school to get me a diet coke from Top Stop when the RS prez stopped me in the hall, frownsmiled and then said...
...sick you guys, I can't even type i'm seriously so t.o.'d I'm shaking....
the RS prez asked {shudder} if we could turn MY best baby shower ever this weekend into a DOUBLE shower.
For me AND Lynzii.
Who didn't look even a teensy bit preggo at our last in counter but whose apparently due the week before me.
With triplets.
And there all girls.
So rude! Here's what you have to do: TOTALLY theme out the shower in BOY. I KNOW you're going to have a girl too, but SHE'S NOT HAVING A BOY and you have to make this about YOU! Unless you can think of a really good reason to deny the Prez without making you look mean or selfish (cuz we know you're not, but some people are SO judgemental), this is your only hope.
ReplyDeleteEven better, give yourself TWO showers! You're having TWO babies. Invite her to share in the boy shower so her girls don't steal the thunder, then give yourself a girl shower the next week. PERFECT!
You really should change the first song on your playlist to "Had a Bad Day"
ReplyDeleteBAAAAAAAA!
ReplyDeleteWhat a hard ship, TAMN!!
Oh Tamns, I am so sorry. I too shared a shower once, with my husband's twins wife (the twin's little girl was born the same day as our sweet Lilly) and I felt bad to rain on her day by having to share the sad and good. What an kind and benevolent gal you are to share your awesome kick-butt baby shower!!! If only she were so kind and benevolent!
ReplyDeleteI'd go inactive!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI cannot stop laughing right now. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteShe is so selfish! How could she do that to you, triplets?!?!
ReplyDeleteYour fetus has scoliosis.
ReplyDeleteSorry for something so devastating - but seriously laughing here!! can't stop!
ReplyDeleteLook at it this way, she did not have the great idea to throw her own BS. She obviously is not as confident and talented as you are and totally had to ask for help. Geesh!
Oh my gosh, so had this happen to me and it totally sucks bad. Seriously the worst thing ever. How will you go on?
ReplyDeleteOh. Em. GOSH! (love that, btw) We knew this was coming... Rude rude rude.
ReplyDeleteSome people will stop at nothing to be mean and try to top someone they are totally jelus of! I bet she did it on purpose! (Have triplets I mean!) That is okay, Lynzii doesn't have us.
ReplyDeleteYou have a problem. Here is your solution: when handing out the invites, slip in a "TAMN is registered at PB kids and Baby GAP" card and a "Lynzii is registered at Savers" card.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't she throw herself her own shower? The nerve of some people. Kinda sad she had to have the RS prez ask you.
ReplyDeleteUmm ew no. That's horrifying. Even in real life, I'd say no.
ReplyDeleteWho does she think she is?! Seriously, you need to get rid of this Lynzii girl.
ReplyDeletenot even a problem. Mostly because she doesn't have awesome BFFs like you do AND she's totally going to have way more stretch marks. Gross, who even wants tripplets.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't she just stab you in the heart and stomp on it right in front of you. I bet Lynzii was so super jealous of your awesomeness that it was all her idea.
ReplyDeleteYou might have to let the air out of her tires so she will accidently not show. Just a thought
well obviously she doing fertility so you should prolly have the person who says the blessing on the food mention how grateful everyone is that her treatments worked.
ReplyDeleteKILL HER!!! She's sooo goin down...
ReplyDeleteSounds like she is super envious of you. And she just wants to rain on your purade. Be the bigger person and you will get tons of blessings. Remember, you agreed to this in the pre-exsistence. Everyone chooses thier trials. Glad I wasn't as brave as you to choose this one!
ReplyDeleteTell the RS prez you're allergic to sharing. Or that Lynzii isn't the example you want around your Mia Maids (who of course will be at the shower), and because you magnify your calling at every opportunity, you can't risk the maids learning from Lynzii's unrighteous example.
ReplyDeleteYou wanted the Mia Maids to spend money on a Sunday?
ReplyDeleteOh, TAMN, how sad. I don't even know what to say. I don't know why you have all these trails, but just think how strong you'll be, and how totally huge your mansion in heaven will be! Hang in there, girl!
ReplyDeleteYes, so sad about the shower... but I for one am still stuck on fellowshipping the cuter Mia Maids into a hooky trip for diet coke. Totally didn't know we could do this, they have GOT to put it in the handbook!
ReplyDeleteew...omgosh, there both b's.
ReplyDeleteoh no she did-ent!
ReplyDeleteHere's what you do. You say, "No. Because I want to throw her a shower of her very own so she can have the whole spotlight."
ReplyDeleteThen you let Ruth help you with it.
make sure you give her plenty to help out with, you do all the BOY decorations, make sure the invitations say exactly what you are expecting, and squeeze Lynzies name in at the bottom!!
ReplyDeleteTAMN, I hate to be a total downer, but I think you have a bigger problem than just the shower.
ReplyDeleteIs Lynzii on bedrest too? Because if she isn't, people could totally (unfairly) judge you for choosing to stay down with two babies, when she's carrying three.
If she IS on bedrest, then you've got some stiff competition for those RS meals. In the scriptures it says that no man can serve two masters. If you put it in RS terms, then no ward can feed two sisters on bedrest, for they will love the one and hate the other. What if they think Lynzii is more deserving of the good dinners and they bring you the Christmas party leftovers?
Oh my gosh, I am so upset for you that now I'm the one shaking.
Lynzii = unspeakable evil.
So LAME-O!
ReplyDeleteTamn, the best thing to do in this situation is say, "I think she deserves to have her own. With having triplets, you'd hate to take the spot-ligt away from her. And then, everyone willw ant to come to your shower cuz you're so sensitive.
Next thing you know, she'll be called to be the YW prez.
ReplyDeleteGood luck & thanks for the laugh!
Just invite all your BFFs so you'll have way more friends there. Make sure they all bring extra gifts for you.
ReplyDeleteI TOLD YOU she was haing triplets!
ReplyDeleteWhat, like you didn't BELIEF me or something?
AshliO, I think her ox was clearly in the mire. (I'm NOT calling TAMN an ox, I just mean her bed-rest thirst was like a big thirsty ox.)
ReplyDeleteTAMN, I *died* reading this post. And I really want to know how you responded to the RS Pres.
i am sorry! i know how you feel though. with my last one, i had a group shower, but the girl who was also preggo became one of my closest friends. look on the bright side... plus, when you have more kids (if you have more kids) i am sure someone will throw another one for you.
ReplyDeleteI bet Lynzii is on bed rest just like you. So you can totally deny the RS prez because obviously she can't come over to your awesome kick-a house for a kick-a party! You can have JJWT bounce her if she tries to show up.
ReplyDeleteWell, if you think about it, she's going to have stretch marks from her triplets and you won't have stretch marks from your perfect twins. Plus, her girls won't have a twinner brother to protect them from other mean kids. So, in all reality you're better still :) Plus if she has to have the RS president talk to you instead of herself then it just shows how insecure and intimidated by you she is :)
ReplyDeleteOh and due dates hardly ever actually work out... her triplets will be late... no worries
ReplyDeleteJust stalking you here! Love your latest post. I myself have never had to share. You need to to try to get one of your BFF's to take over so that then you can claim innocent. And of course not have to share. Who ever heard of a double shower before anyways... Who ever invented that sucks!
ReplyDeleteI think it is time they know... each of her babies has a different father - and that would be a way bad example for the YW
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with Jacque but I vote that you throw the shower for her (after your, obviously). This will give you the advantage of going first so all the decorations and games will seem really individual and original for yours but the guests will realize there not for hers.
ReplyDeleteHonestly it seems rude that the RSP would expect
1) that you would have all the same friends and
2) the guests would be expected to bring five presents to a shower.
As an added benefit, if there is anything androgenous and uggers (like yellow baby clothes! LIke we need reminders that they pee all the time! Eew!) you can frownsmile unload it on her. Plus her triplets will probably be way smaller than your babies so yours will SEEM older and you can offer stained hand-me-downs.
THe fact that she is preggo with triplets and not on bedrest suggests to me she is not as frail/feminine/delicate as you. Is she in to weight lifting? Also, does she already have kids? I'm guessing not, since the prez wants to throw a shower. So that brings into question her righteousness, since why does her husband already have a degree and she doesn't have the degree of motherhood? I'd be embarassed if I was her
Triplets? They make you SO FAT! Don't let those tripfetis steal your twinner's thunder. Tell Lynzii the shower is 2 hours after yours ends, then blame your pregnancy scatterbrain on the mistake. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteGee whiz! Could it be even the teensiest bit possible that the R.S. had some personal insight here that you don't know about? Maybe triplet's Mom has the need for some friendship. Maybe her family is in a financial crisis and is honestly in need of help. Do you know how much medically assisted pregnancy costs? I wonder just how she might feel if she came across your blog? I'm sure there are good ways to make this work and to build and foster love and friendship.
ReplyDeleteThat the R.S. President even asked you to consider this shows that 1) she needs help with the sisters in her ward and 2) she had confidence that she could ask such a thing of you w/o fear of offending you. I'm sure she didn't mean to rain on your parade.
Virginia Wood
Been there done that and count my blessings that loving sisters could make it happen graciously.
What was the RS prez thinking? Seriously?!?! She def. needs to pray and listen to the spirit more! I bet she hasn't gone to the temple lately because if she had... she would know what a HORRIBLE idea this is! Either way.. I guess I just hope that you will pray intently before you answer her! Maybe if Lynzii will get a horrible cold or be on self-imposed bedrest and be unable to make it! That's it! Tell the RS prez that while you would love to do that, you worry about poor Lynzii being out with so much excitement in her fragile condition. I mean, she paid big bucks to get preggers... you would hate for something bad to happen. ;o) Promise to throw her something AFTER the babies come. Then no one will have to skimp on the presents they get for your feti! Seriously.. who can afford 5 gifts at once? I have a seperate fund in my budget for baby showers and I totally wouldn't be able to make that work!
ReplyDeleteOMG! How dare she? I would say that I will DEF not be sharing the best day EVER (pre baby of course) with some newbie because then you will get less gifts...or worse...COMBINED gifts! I bet people wont even go off of your registery because it is to hard to look up 2 of them and print off all 50 pages of the things your feti deserve!
ReplyDeleteWHAT A B!!!!!!! I hope she gets toxemia and gets uber fat/filled up with water.
ReplyDeleteI bet she got preggo just to spite you.
ReplyDeleteYou really need to get a prepaid card that way it is just fine to make a top stop run during church, that is what my whole sunday school class does.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she only looks skinny because she is wearing shapewear. That is the only way she could look skinnier than you TAMN. I like Sarah's idea, tell the RS Prez no and throw Lynzii a shower with the help of Ruth, and maybe Yvette too. I am also thinking that the reason she gave you those last season shoes is because most of her weight is going to her fat ugly feet so she couldn't wear them anymore.
ReplyDeletewow, I never think that your posts can one-up the one I just read....and then you post a new one and I am just floored. SO FUNNY. Your wit is amazing.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am dying to know what you said to her!!! (the RS Prez)
Maybe you guys should move. Either that or just tell her that you've already mailed the invites for your shower so it's too late.
ReplyDeleteGuess it means she is a bit more righteous than you since her gardenbed is more fertile than yours. . . .
ReplyDeleteIf you want to be more spiritual you should fake-read your scriptures more often during church instead of drinking mormon beer from Top Stop.
LOVE YOU.
Aw man, I just about guffawed in the middle of the library.
ReplyDeleteI mean, uh, poor TAMNers.
*snicker*
Ugghhhh!!! My ward just did a triple baby shower and I didn't go because I didn't feel like buying three gifts, lol! So to expect people to show up with FIVE is ridiculous! Just tell the RS it's not going to work because you're having yours catered and you already sent a head count to some uber-expensive catering company and your mom really can't shell out more money for Lynzii's guests. Easy and non-offensive!
ReplyDeleteshe's probably not even preggo and is going to fake a miscarriage down the road when her belly doesn't get any bigger.
ReplyDelete*pressing hand to chest and taking a deep breath*
ReplyDeleteTAMN, you could not have told me worse news. I mean seriously, who does she think she is? Maybe it's time to talk to the Bish about her rediculus behavior. I mean we are talking about your baby's first party here. This could have long term a fects on your feti.
I think its time to attend a different ward in another stake. Just go with your neighbors across the street.
ReplyDeleteFrills, this sux.
ReplyDeleteYou should start going to a whole nother ward from now on.
What the H, is the RS prez some 32 year old frumpers with like six kids?!?! Pretty sure she's just jealous of your rockin preggo bod and is just trying to take some of the spotlight off of you and your oober ritechus feti.
ReplyDeleteDoes "Grandma & Pop-pop" know that TAMN isn't real?
ReplyDeleteOh dear. Oh me. Oh my. I think it's time for one of Sis Okazaki's famous lessons on how to say "no". I once stood in a receiving line next to a gal who was five months pregnant. I looked more pregnant than she and my baby was four months old. I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteok seriously. what happened to all that extra tithing you paid? Next thing you know she is going to be made YW Pres and her husband (who is probably FAT) will be made EQ Pres. UGH.
ReplyDeleteI liked a previous idea of slashing her tires.
I suggest you get the MiaMaids to do it as a service project.
TAMN, I have the perfect game idea!
ReplyDeletePin the stretch marks on Lynzzi.
The nerve....
ReplyDeleteOh Tamn, I don't know why the universe send you these trails to go through. I guess this sort of thing is to strengthen us and humble is. It IS sort of funny karma, if ya think about it. Like poetic justice when someone has met her match. But, you will find a way to prevail ! Love your wonderful writing ! Best always, from D. :-)
ReplyDeletei bet she did it on purpose
ReplyDeleteI hope she gets major strech marks. One of the best posts ever.
ReplyDeleteAll rite, I'm done being nice. Start the disciplinary council roumers. She's just gone too far!!
ReplyDeleteWhat, are hers identical too? Really. Can they redraw the ward boundaries?
I'll bet Lynzii has been stalking you for like years now and moved into your ward just to have her triplet girls so she could make you feel bad. She's obviously not living the plan if her only purpose in life is to make yours difficult. duh. What does she need a shower for anyways? She probably doesn't even know anybody in your ward yet.
ReplyDeletei totally agree with token asian friend. maybe along with savers, lynzii could be registered at DI. that'd show her who's boss!
ReplyDeleteI am shur this waz just a baaaaad dreem!!
ReplyDeleteask your hubby to piinch you
LOL!!!! That last line.
ReplyDeleteYou can have your baby shower with me...because I am technically due like a day after my shower, so knowing my luck, I will birthing a baby while everyone is at my shower having a blast without me (and without a pregnant person to celebrate). So you might as well just take it. It can be yours. Go on...just take it. Sigh.
Who does she think she is?! I'll bet Lynzii (if that is her real name) asked the RSP to ask you to "share" the party cause she's totally jealous of all your BFF's and knows your gonna have a rockin' party! She prolly doesn't have any friends, and that's why she had to invite herself to your shower. You should feel sorry for her. How pathetic is she!?
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say. The memories are coming back to me fast now, the disorientation, the numbness...
Same thing, different event. I threw my own 21st bday party because I knew no one else could; set it up with my friends who were in a band in an awesome house. A huge crowd showed up. When the band started, the lead singer asked everyone in the crowd who had a birthday to step up, and said, 'THIS IS YOUR PARTY EVERYONE!' Never even mentioned my name, even though I paid for it, set up, and cleaned up after hundreds of people.
SUCH a letdown. TAMN, you can NOT share your baby shower! Don't let her do this to you!
I hope her babies all have colic. That will teach her.
ReplyDeleteI dunno TAMN, I'm starting to think that you and Lynzii were BFF's in the premortal life.
ReplyDeleteHowever, are you sure she's even pregnant? She could be fakin it to steal your thunder. I'd ask for ultrasound pictures for proof.
TAMN what are you worried about? This means she is probably never going to have a stripling warrior to go out and convert nations or carry on her last name, or have a "Missionary Mom" bumper sticker. I feel sorry for her... Oh! And bonus, if you have a shower together that means you can sneak all the presents you don't like into her pile and take all the cute ones for darling feti! Yay!
ReplyDeleteRE someone's concerns about spending money on Sunday: in our church, there's the principle of The Ox In The Mire--if it's a life or death situation, like a pregnant lady needs her Diet Coke NOW, it's not breaking the Sabbath, it's just doing what Jesus would do.
ReplyDeleteOh, the nerve of the RS Prez... and L... evil women. Maybe you should pray for them.
ReplyDeleteUm, you sirously need to consider moving to another ward. This is to much. Or, pray that they'll move the boundaries.
ReplyDeleteYou said no, right?! That baby shower is NOT big enough for you AND Lynzii and FIVE feti! In fact, your ward's not big enough for all you guys!
ReplyDeleteOkay, as much as this post was completely unbelievable, it made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about the lady in California who was expecting septuplets and got OCTUPLETS instead?! The doctor said, "Hey, it's hard to do an ultrasound with that many babies in there."
But I bet that preggo lady was totally super fat, so she's no threat to you.
I seriously think it's time to switch wards. Have JJWT do some scouting to find out which wards have the least pg ladies and then show up--all the baby love will be sent your way!
ReplyDeletedur! doesn't the RS Pres, know anything?! she should not ask that of you, Lynzii will just get way more presents then you since she's having three. why don't you tell her that you think Lynzii will feel left out of the party because you've invited all your tight rich frens and they are planning on getting you gucci baby strollers but they don't want to splurge on another one for Lynzii. That's what i would do. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOOOO!!! The only thing worse than a shared baby shower is a shared wedding, and we all know that is just ridiculous. Plus, you are throwing the best shower ever. She would never even come close. That is just rude. You need to do service to her and her unborn feti by making her throw her own baby shower. Its the only way she will learn to throw parties and to be creative. And that is the best kind of service.
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh! just tell her - in a nice tone but through your teeth so she knows you're mad - that it's too late to send out invites to a shower that's NEXT week! how RUDE! i think you should tell the bish that he needs to call a new prez. good luck.
ReplyDeleteOR, you could share the shower, and you get to keep all the gifts, since you are having the twins first, you can hand-me down all the little used outfits your twins have outgrown. It doesn't matter if there are spit-up stains on them if they say "baby Gap" on front!
ReplyDeleteI think maybe Lynzii IS posing as Grandma & Pop-Pops...
ReplyDeleteMatt and Jennae Porter said...
ReplyDelete"I dunno TAMN, I'm starting to think that you and Lynzii were BFF's in the premortal life. "
----------
Do you have like a symbol you ever do unknowingly, like tap each other on the knee like Saturday Warrior?
I say you just do it... you will always be able to remember how charitable you are and keep super close tabs on her and see if any of your BFFs are going to become her BFFS.
TAMN-
ReplyDelete{sympathetic frowny smile}
I don't no why you even bother with worrying about Lynzii. What kinda of a threat can she be if she had to ask the RSP to get her in on your shower? I mean, rilly. Come on.
I don't know you so I'm sorry I'm commenting, but I think it's no big deal-- if it were me I'd be even more excited. The more the merrier, right? I'd feel dumb to do it for myself anyway. I'd way rather do it for someone else and just get presents because thats how it happens. Don't worry about the lemons-- Make lemonade!
ReplyDelete