September 1, 2008

Laber day!

BEST. WEEKEND. EVER! Funner than ever and I can't even handle it! The Pal houseboat adventure is my fave, AND we got to go with ALL my fam (love you mom!), ALL of JJWT's fam (love you, other mom! We're so close that best hubby ever & I call e/o's fam our own and I love LOVE love having 8 sisters now!!) AND 30 of our CCFs (closest couple friends) came too bc we are SUCH total butterflies! SO weird that all us girlz had the same modest bikinis, LOL! We ate a bumload of food (gobbled FOUR red vines...ack!! total splurge) and then everyone looked DARLING so we took eleven thousand pics--with sunglasses, without sunglasses, standing sideways so you can see my teased-up ponytail bump, kissy face, non kissy face, sassy bum pose, sassy hand pose, etsetra, etsetra. OFFICIALLY in LOVE and OBSESSED with being ADDICTED to boat-fun! Love Pal's GUTS!

Anyways, after TONS of boating, JJWT and my way tan self hit up church and heard an adorable talk on my fave scripture (forget where it is): I stand my tallest when I'm kneeling. Even tho I'm like a foot shorter when I kneel, still WAY uplifting. RS was neat but awkward bc not to judge, butt I announced like TWO MONTHS ago we were preggers and NO ONE has offered to give me a shower yet...not to be rude, but isn't that sort of rude? I was a pauled. So during the Good News Minute when someone was yapping on about cancer, blahblahblah, triplets born last week, yawnyawnyawn, I grabbed the mike and just invited everyone to my own shower! I'm better at games and invitations and treats and treat arrangements anyway so if I want it to be cute I guess I just needed to seeze the day! I took a few mins to explain about the day I knew I was preggers and how I haven't ben to the doc yet bc the receptionist was insensitive, but I'd already registered, and I explained how the stuff I really want is at PB kids so even tho I'm a Target addict, plz PLZ plz don't get me gifts from there, and all of a sudden the peeanist started playing the closing song! WHOOPSY! So greatful to be tan and now that I get to plan the party of the century the pressure's ON! Any idizz for my shower guys??

blogged on our houseboat in a bikini from my iphone

57 comments:

Jessica Rabbit said...

Not to be gross, but you should totally play that game where you pass around diapers and try to guess what's in them!! It's fun 'cus you don't fill them with gross stuff, you fill them with yummy stuff that SEEMS gross! Like chocolate! Yay! It's fun to watch your friends' faces, especially when it gets on their clothes..whoopsie!

cheri said...

OMGosh PB kids is the best! Way unique. Can't wait for your shower! I'm invited, right??

rachael said...

I DO stand my tallest when I'm kneeling! Triplets make me yawn too.

Please promise me you'll make cupcakes shaped like baby bums.

Catherine said...

Make sure on your invitaions that is says "TAMN" all huge and "baby shower" really small, because as much as you love your hottest fetus ever, the party is really about you. So make sure you play a game where everyone has to guess your favorite clothing brand, and store and stuff. And make sure you specify on you invites that everyone needs to bring gifts for you and not just the baby. I mean like what are you going to do for maternity clothes? And you need gift certificates for Prego Massages, too!

The Raybould Family said...

Hmmm.... wonder if you'll get more blue or pink or just yellow and green. Or... do you already know what the sex is just by your amazing intuition?

Or is this strictly a baby furniture baby shower? Like the beautiful 1,000 PB kids cribs! I soooo want one someday when I'm preggers!

The Raybould Family said...

Oopsey! $1,000****

Adam and Kristina said...

I really hope that instead of just putting registry cards in the invitation, and of course stating that you would prefer money, because that's super classy, you just include a copy of the registry itself in the invite! Very helpful!

And I think you should play the toilet paper game, where people have to guess how many squares of toilet paper it takes to wrap around you. Obviously, it would be like 7. And then make Yvette do it too, just to make a point about how skinny you are.

Can't wait for my invite!

Jacque said...

How rude of that pianist. Ugh!
I think you should have Yvette dress up like a baby for decoration. You know... Make her wear a nude colored shade and a HUGE diaper with a bonnet and hold a rattle. Put her next to the overly gigantic sized bear that seems to always be present at every shower!
For food, if you still have that green jello with the "We're preggo" written on it in icing, I would so serve that! How fun!!!! I'm totally sure you saved it, right?
Be sure to have lots of pictures of you blown up and hanging around the room from ribbon--SO UNIQUE!!
Happy Planning!
Totally send me an e-invite!!!

Billy & MacKenzie said...

Oh my... I so totally agree! I feel so badly for you because no one offered to give you a shower! If I were in your relief society I totally, completely, without a doubt EVER, would've thrown one for you! Just thinking how rude other girls are makes me want to cry. I don't like how they are acting and I don't think Jesus does either. They are not being very christlike! I think you're so great! You just rise above every obstacle that's thrown your way! What would you do without a shower!? Practically die... DUH!!

Julie said...

But what are you doing now that it's raining???? How is your perfectly ratted hair going to handle it? ewww.... Rain makes everything so icky. Who cares what it does for the drought her in Zion??!!!

Lobbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lobbie said...

OOoh! Planning a party!! EEEEEeeEeeEEeeeEeEeEEE!

OK I totally think you need a theme that everyone dresses to. Maybe like "Under the Sea" or "Masquerade" and then have a costume contest since all of YOUR friends would have way righteous mothers who stayed at home to be kick-A sewers and can make totally awesome costumes for you all. Ooooh!!! Make little desserts shaped like fish or masks, but whatever the theme is make sure there's lots of SPARKLE!

Uh, what was this supposed to be for?

b. said...

You are the Michael Scott of Relief Society.

ramsam said...

I just luv planning showers, specially shopping for cuteest ever prizes and gifts...so easy to trick the answers so people who brought best PB kids presents can win. Luv it!

I can't believe that you aren't totally serving in YW prez. You are obviously so hip and would help plan the coolest camp skit ever. Your spiritualness and light of life is totally being squelched sitting in RS. To think the pianist decides when it is time to wrap things up! Just so sad she can't be happy for you like all the rest of uz! Hearts! So glad you are back from Pal...you totally deserved that trip.

JoJo said...

So TAMN, are you and JJWT like the BIGGEST fans of the dental/law/medical/business school football team? Do you totally have a cheerleader outfit of the school colors picked out for your fetus if it's a girl?

Reggs said...

it's a total yawner when someone uses good news minute to bring us down by saying someone is cancer-free, or someone just recovered from dying. YAWN!

Skipper said...

Ooo! You should play baby shower B-I-N-G-O, but use words off of your gift registries so that EVERYone will know what to get you for a 2nd gift. (It's SOOOOO rude when people only get you a gift for the shower and neglect getting you a gift for the actual birth!!! *NOT* thoughtful at all.)

GrumpyAngel said...

How rude of the peeanist to interrupt your seriously cute and righteous self-obsession! And I agree, it's so rude for the RS girls to take too long to throw you a baby shower. Your self-hosted one would be so much cooler. How about you play the game where each group of showerettes draw a baby part and then everyone puts all the parts together to see how the cute fetus will look like when it's born? Too freaky? It will be fun though!

Token Asian Friend said...

TAMN,

How selfless of you to get a tan and provide your baby with all that home-made Vitamin D to abzorb nutrients from all those Red Vines! You are going to be a GREAT mommy!

So *gasp* I don't have the money to buy a present for your shower (tons of Fiji water, chocolate Acai nuggets, and teeth-whitening chewing gum for our food storage=fresh out of cash), but I would love to give beebee free mini-manis for her first year of life. Or perhaps baby massage with lavender and ylang-ylang? ANYwho, text me and let me know!

*MARY* said...

If you're planning on having the shower in the Celestial room at the SLC temple, think again. I tried to reserve it for my bridal shower but those old temple workers are so stubborn and rude. I bet they wouldn't even let Pres. Mo himself through a party there.

ukyankoz said...

TAMN, I'm so inspired how you overcame the rudeness of RS and decided to have you're own shower anyway - Your totally right, you will throw a kick-A party. Oh, and you NEED to have baby piktures of you and JJWT just so everyone can see how cute you're baby will be! Heart you!

hOLLIANN said...

ha ha - that is the funniest one yet...I so married into the "Pal" family. they invited my fam, but they weren't down with the luv under the sun. And my sis-in-law - don't even take me there! Let's just say I am thankful there is only 1...her and my minlaw are enough to deal! Keep up the funnies!

Mina said...

OH, the best shower game is totally the Millionaire one--that way U get to be the player and everyone else has to be the audience, and when u answer the questions right, (which are all about u and your perfect fetus) like U get the prizes! It's very hip and classy. (Plus, why should the selfish girls in your ward get a gift for coming to a shower that they refused to host?!)

Lisa said...

um. why are you planning only one shower? Aren't you supposed to have one in your ward, one in your mom's ward ( I know, all those old ladies touching your belly, but think of all the GIFTS you get...then again, they might not now about PB kids, so maybe not) and oh yeah, one in DH's ward too? His mom totally should be on the ball and throwing you a baby shower because if your own sister or mother or SILs are so rude that they won't throw you one just because other people think its unethicle then your MIL should be doing it, DUH! I'm MAD @ her, even though you love her.

Lisa said...

hey! thats my cuzin above me, and I didn't even know you all were e-friends!!!! OMG!!!

shel7by said...

Cancer is a bummer. I bet people were WAY happier talking about BABIES!! You're like the opposite of a buzz-kill.
LYLAS!

The Atwood's said...

You know, I'm really trying to laugh at this blog but I can't. I know everything on blogs is repetitive and can seem like it's "all about me" but really, isn't that what blogs and websites are for? I know many people with blogs that have them specifically because they live so far away from friends and family that they want to keep them updated. Or they keep them so they can print them out and their kids will have memories. What's the harm in that? I just don't think it's fair that the Mormon church is being made fun of in this way. The people are good people and are doing their best to be good mom's and this blog just trashes any hope. And makes these people that work so hard to be their best look like something less. It's not fair and not right.

Dani said...

umm...'Satan trembles when he sees, the weakest saint upon his (or her) knees.'

Heather said...

Tamn! I prolly shouldn't even tell you this, but the reason no one has thrown you a shower yet is because there is so much DRAMA over which of your BFFs gets to throw your surprise shower!

Britni says that she should get to do it because her house is the biggest and you guys have been BFFs since you were born (except for that part where you secretly started dating her boyfriend in 10th grade), but Kensi says she should get to do it b/c her mom can get sweet catering from Gastronomy and because her baby and your hot fetus have totally spoken for each other!

It's been so frownsmile hard for all 200 of your BFFs to choose between the two!

Anyway, its obvs going to be the most darling shower ever!

Mandie Green said...

To the Atwoods:
I really can't stop laughing at this blog. I am a young LDS mother and know all about striving to be the "perfect" wife and mother. This blog reminds me that even if I were to "keep up with the Jones'" I would still not be the "best" person I can be. It is fun to take a step back and laugh, not only at TAMN, but at myself for the silly and unimportant ambitions I have in common with TAMN.
I don't feel this blog is making fun of the church in anyway. It's members DO have their own stereotypical lifestyle, but of course we are not all the same. While stereotyping all Mormons to be this way is unfair, you got to admit there is a faint hint of truth behind the stereotype.

Mandie Green said...

I forgot to mention that it is the "slim" amount of truth that makes this blog so funny.

Now about TAMN, (who I so fully 'pologize to for not making her #1 in my comments) when it comes to YOUR shower remember to give the door prizes to whoever brings the biggest present and to the BFF that gives you the BBRUS gift card that is worth the most. (Mention that in your invites too so they know that they need to compete with the wife of the VP of Micron that is in your ward)

Bella said...

you know how every time you get invited to a shower you just never know what to get or if you are actually getting them something they need...even when they are registered??? SO...include in your theme something about assignments. you have been assigned this new baby and so you are assigning people what to buy you! it will totally help them! the stress level of what to get you is completely taken away this way!

jdb in AZ said...

Have you scheduled your baby shower yet? I'm thunkin mebbe you should move to a more righteous, supportive ward. I can't help wondering how you can attend Rel Soc when you're the Mia Maid advisor.

It's so important to have your shower before Halloween -- competing against that day would be a TAMNity-ville horror. November is spent gearing up for Thanksgiving; then the holly-daze. Everybuddy is too broke in January to afford your fetus the gifts/righteous desires of his/her (o.k. your) heart. speaking of heart, your friends will be pre-occupied with buying their significant others their valentines' gifts (except poor Yvette the lady in waiting) so basically if you don't have your shower in the next month or so, when will you fit it in?

for the nay-sayers: who is forcing you to read this blog? You have your free agency. Feel free to go read other (boring!) blogs.

amanda said...

please bless that you invite me and that you get that totally awesome cupcake holder for your shower. cuz babies totally love cupcakes. fat free though.

Alison said...

make sure you don't play that game where you microwave candy bars in diapers and make everyone guess what it is. ewww. #2 is gross.

Tammy said...

I enjoy this blog, but I think that a lot of people who read it don't realize that they are the ones that are being made fun of because they are so full of themselves and their lives and that is a shame!

I also agree to some extent with The Atwoods because there were some comments that were/are a little irreverent...I am mainly talking about the Temple comment and reserving the celestial room for a baby shower (hello!!! what are you thinking!!!!)

aubri halls said...

I'm a new fan of your blog! I love it, you make my day better! Keep up it up! Thanks for the laughs.
aubs

marty said...

To the Atwoods and Tammy-

I am a grandmother who reads my children's blogs to keep up with their daily lives and see pictures of my grandkids. One of my daughters gave me TAMN's site to look at. First I was confused, (remember, I said that I was a Grandma!!) and didn't realize SERIOUSLY, SO BLESSED! is a blog done all in fun!! Something for a good laugh in a serious and struggling world. Once this was explained to me, I will stalk TAMN's blog once in awhile when I need a laugh and an escape from reality. I am also an early morning seminary teacher with 22 sophomores in high school...another reason I know for a fact that when there is an opportunity to laugh, we need to take it and run!!
So thanks, TAMN, for the occasional laugh in my busy life.

katie terry said...

just found your blog and wanted to introduce myself so that i don't turn into one of the infamous blog stalkers.

i love your posts and they are hilarious...thanks!

it nice to find another "honest" blog out there like i try to do with mine:)

Kari said...

So, I totally spent like 2 hours reading this entire blog and going on all the different links. I came across this blog when I was doing my usual Facebook/Myspace/Blogger stalking. I feel kinda guilty for spending so much time checking this blog out because it's my 2 year anniversary today (no joke)and I wanted to clean the entire house for my amazing hubby! He works like 14 hour days and I am currently job-less waiting for school to start up again. Maybe I love this blog so much because it reminds me of so many people who annoy me...or maybe it reminds me of myself. I mean I DO think I live the fairy-tale life: my husband and I dated in high school, I waited for him on his mission, he baptized me, and we got married in the temple. Seriously, so blessed! ;)

Heather Chamberlain said...

Okay, so I was TODALLY hurting my brain trying to think of cool themes for your babyshower, when HAZZAH, it just came into my brain. That's what's so great about being so close to the spirit and knowin' the plan and all. When you are in REAL need, the help TRUly comes. So, wouldn't a TWILIGHT theme be aMAZing? I mean you could have eveyone dress up as their fav vamp which would be super easy for you since you already have aLOT of the same hotness features. Of course, you wouldn't want anyone to think that you have a twisted flesh-ripping baby in your utero, so you'd have to clarify that in the invites...butt...do able, right?

faith said...

change it to a maternity shower and register for clothes that fit your non-prego body - because of course you want your maternity clothes to look plastic-wrapped on so you can see your belly-button poking out. except that your belly button won't poke out, i'm sure. and then have a baby shower later.

BYU Athletic Supporter said...

I am bummin' they haven't even offered a baby shower yet. Don't they remember Who's service they are in when they are in the service of thier fellow man (or wo-man)? Maybe they should think about that.

Laura said...

Ummm, not to be rude, but it's "ECsetra." Otherwise, love your blog and cute blessedness.

Ariel said...

I think that my favorite part of your blog is how every single post is labeled "my way fun life". Your life IS way fun. I'm glad you captured the sassy bum pose so you'll never forget how darling you all looked in Pal! Love it.

Amalie said...

The diaper cake is a must!! Trendy AND practical!!

Nat said...

I know...Right? Sometimes the RS ladiez are such bummers when I am feeling warm n fuzzy after the opening song(I wish I could kick out the ones who sing like Old ladies). You should have a Chocolate Fountain at your shower! OMGOSH, you could have little Cream puffs and brownies to dip??? Don't forget the fruit tho, cuz there will be people there who are NOT eating for two, but not to be rude, they totally ACT like they are.

Oby and Tara Bennett said...

For a totally kick-A shower, your best bet is to put on the invitation that you want money only since you have the best fabulous taist for your hot fetuses' needs. Frills. Then you could avoid getting all those way lame homemade gifts from the RS ladies. J slash K that would be way too materialistic and that would make us all cry.

jg said...

Dear Atwoods: Then don't read it.

Jennifer Earnshaw Warburton said...

I really hate (sorry for the strong word) to be the downer but while everyone is all focused on the baby shower (welcome to earth, fetus) or on being offended or by naming their mo-credentials, I really, really feel like I need to mention to TAMN, all her BFFs, and her Pal fam that "TAN" is like most of the word "SATAN."

GladysIcanbee said...

Isn't houseboating at Pal the best?!! Seriously, I know some of my BFFS always do Disney in Cali for their vacays but nothing beats a modest bikini, lots of sunshine and finding secret spots for nuzzling! So, here's the thing. You should like totally have more than one shower but it's getting a little late, maybe you should send the "save the date" cards now and worry about who will actually throw the shower later. More important, you're close to missing the deadline for getting the precious hot fetus enrolled in a good preschool. You don't want to be stuck with joy school do you?

Becky said...

To the Atwoods: We laugh at this blog because we recognize OURSELVES in it, at least I do. I'm not laughing at anyone else, although I do know a few people who resemble TAMN so closely it's frightening. But it's all in good fun and if you're offended by it, which you have the right to be if that's how you feel, then don't read it. There are plenty of other "serious" Mormon blogs out there, but they're not nearly as much fun as this one.

Summer said...

I totally HEART the idea for the TWILIGHT themed shower!

You could serve red cranberry juice for the drink - like drinking blood, get it? (But only in non-clear cups with lids and straws so that you can't actually see the blood. We wouldn't want to be gross! EW!)

For a game, you could play, "Pin the tail on Jacob!"

I bet Stephenie M. would be more than delighted to drive up from Scottsdale to attend such a rockin shower! Maybe she would even autograph your hot baby bump!

a.t.a said...

I guess we went boating tOO. it was raining cats & puppys outside. So we were safe in our house boat!

Melissa said...

hahahhahahaha!!
Do you know my sister in law? you guys would be the best of friends. your interests are so similar its uncanny...wait, are you my sister in law?

Karen said...

Ok, You sold me. I'm a new fan. Pretty sure I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Thanks for the insight into the idiosyncrasies in all of us. I will certainly be back.

~*~*~Britni~*~*~ said...

You should so totally have the shower guests place bets on when your hott little fetus is gonna be borned or what it's gonna weigh. Except that you shouldn't place the bets with money, because gambling is so totally against the W.O.W.