July 8, 2008

luv @ home!

Hey everybody! As you can tell by my little floating blog fetus, things are getting CRAZY around here! I am totally going to take a picture of myself EVERY DAY so you can all SEE how BIG and PREGO I am getting! Don’t worry though, I am for sure going to be totally cute and way skinny! I am also going to try and see if there is some kind of PAGEANT I can enter the baby in before it is even born! Maybe I can enter in ultrasound pics or something?!?!

I am so GREATFUL that I kept the commandments growing up so my righteous womb could be a worthy, fertile bed of soil for JJWT’s seed! If I had kept my second pair of earrings in, WHO KNOWS!?! SO thankful for the plan and since we will soon have a marriage license AND our adorable floating fetus’s birth certificate, it's like I'll totally have the degree in Family’n’Consumer studies that I never actually finished, so I can totally offer you advice on how to make you guyses marriage almost as good as JJWT’s and I’s!! I am...

seriously, so blessed.

For reals you guys, we are totally MFEO, and darling JJWT has always SPOILED ME ROTTEN. AAANNND he is totally supportive of all my crash diets! For example, he knows that when we go grocery shopping only to buy skim melk bc 1 percent totally bloats me! GROSS. Except the other day, we were at the store, and JJWT said he wanted to buy WHOLE MELK. Ew! I about died. He said he was sick of our house being full of non-fat dairy! And I was like, NO. So we got in a HUGE FIGHT right there in the grocery store, and I forgot to take my camera to the store, or I would have totally taken pitchers! Sad! But we were fighting in the store, and I was SOBBING, and I remembered what my mom always told me. She told me that “No man is worth your tears, and the man who is will NEVER make you CRY!” And I totally started paniking! If JJWT is THE ONE, why was he making me cry??? Oh my meltdown!

So right then and there, I called my mom--EMERGENCY!!--and told her I was FREAKING OUT, and she told me that it wasn’t JJWT who was making me cry, it was probably just the Red Mango/Pinkberry/Spoon Me I ate with her that morning that had non-organic fruit in it and was making me sick!
Good thing the fruit of our loins IS organic unlike whatever made me sick! Anyways, she said it was either that, or I was ovulating! So giddy to hear that! So to make a long story short, it DEFINITELY wasn’t JJWTs fault. Phew! I decided to make one more SACRIFICE and give JJWT the melk he wanted because I'm an unselfish giver!! He was so greatful that when we decided to try that night for our baby and the details are so private and so special but we totally conceived THAT INSTANT! Pure magic. I felt it and everything! I haven’t ACTUALLY taken a prego test yet…because I don't NEED to. I just KNOW because THAT’S how in tune I am, and that is why our marriage totally works! SACRIFICE.

60 comments:

Adam and Kristina said...

If I had only kept my second pair of earrings in, I could have saved a crap load of money on birth control. Oh, except, I don't take birth control, because I'm a good Mormon woman.

And I'm so happy to see that your marriage has ups and downs too! I was starting to get depressed at the prefectness of your life. I just can't live up to it. I need some Red Mango. Is Cocoa Pebbles OK?

Mallory said...

There's just no denying that this blog is absolutely hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I think your prego-ness is interferin with your humorness!

Seriously, I'm addicted. My 30-something hunk of a hubby rolls his eyes everytime he sees me reading and laughing at this blog. I do have better things to do with my time - 4 kids - but I just can't stop. I can't wait to see what you write next. But, this one lacks a little. Doesn't make sense. You already announced you were pregnant and now tell us you haven't taken a test yet. Does that mean you can just feel it and you just know it's a girl so you can name it Libertee?

Love it!

Anonymous said...

I am grossed out.

Anonymous said...

Oh shiz. Does birth control make me a bad mormon woman???? Shoot. Guess I need to talk this over with DH. We will probably just end up getting preggers and popping out special beautiful children just like all of our friends are!!!! How cute and how perfect are they!!!!! I guess because they all have babies is why they are all SO HAPPY ALL OF THE TIME! AND JUST CANT DESCRIBE HOW PERFECTLY HAPPY AND ADORABLE THEY REALLY ARE TOGETHER!!! Those precious little babies.

gurrbonzo said...

Uh oh...NO MORE CHALK DIETS! Oh my meltdown!

Turbo said...

Make sure that you bury your testimony about all of this, and don't forget to bury it about your Pal trip too.

Anonymous said...

Wow-- thanks for sharing ALL of those details. I know you are using your blog for "journaling" purposes, so I don't mind if you share things that probably shouldn't be shared with the world wide web. Because it's 'you're' "JOURNAL" people-- and if they don't want to know about it, they don't have to read it.

And . . .

“No man is worth your tears, and the man who is will NEVER make you CRY!”

I totally gave you that quote on a sign board with vinyl lettering for your bridal shower. I'm sooo glad you remembered it and were able to use it in your marriage.

Luv u!

The Raybould Family said...

So, don't know why I'm so bothered with your baby counter. Is it the counter that is wrong? there are 266 days in a pregnancy. Because you have to subtract the 14 days from your last period becuase you ovulate on day 14... so therefor... 266 days of being pregnant.

Oh well... ANYWAY!

Congrats! I'm so jealous that you are going to add another branch to your family tree! Guess I might never get knocked up because I'm on Birth Control! (but not for long!)

Anonymous said...

Seems kinda like that Raybould girl is always always ALWAYS talking about wanting to be knocked up, yeah?

Anonymous said...

Well, if TAMN got pregnant this weekend and is counting forty weeks from the day of conception, the countdown is right on. Most people wouldn't find out for a few more weeks, but she's so in tune that she's gone public immediately. The average pregnancy is 38-42 weeks, right? A bit early to announce, sure, but NEVER DOUBT THE FLOATING FETUS.

Whole melk makes me bloated too. Gross.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that you called 'you're' mom when you and JJWT were having problems in your marriage. Aren't moms the best? I am 'defiantley' glad that I can still be so close to my mom even thought I've covenanted to be with someone else for eternity. I never want to move far away from my mom because I would hate to 'loose' that close friendship.

Besides, that would mean I would actually have to depend on my spouse and learn how to talk to him about issues 'an' stuff.

Heather said...

TMI!

I love it! :)

Julie said...

Whole melk is the worst EVAR!!! If my husband wanted me to buy it, we might have to conseder a divorce!! I'm totaly totaly joking, don't worry. We would NEVER divorce because we're also MFEO!! I'm so glad we're Mormon, and we know it's for eternity!!!! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't know we'd be together forever!!!

PMJG said...

Have you started a reading list yet?
There are a lot of books out there about parenting that are full of really useful information that I'm sure you'll find to be a BIG help!

Nik "the BoyWonder" said...

I am glad your mom is so wise! You are blessed to have her!

Kathryn said...

"I am so GREATFUL that I kept the commandments growing up so my righteous womb could be a worthy, fertile bed of soil for JJWT’s seed!"

This is fabulous. I'm so glad you are so RIGHTEOUS and IN TUNE that you can announce it right away, even without taking a test!!!

Ha.

Jillsywillsy said...

Whatever you do, make sure you add a breastfeeding ticker to your blog the moment you give birth so that we all know what a better mom you are than us.

Tim said...

I think it's great that you don't even need a pregnancy test. All that medical/science stuff is a bunch of crap anyway.
Are you planning on a home birth?

Melissa said...

So, have you picked out any cre8ive baby names??

KT said...

What if I really am better than everyone else? If I can't shout that out to the world through the world wide web then WHO WILL KNOW? Who will secretly envy my life? Where will I get my self-esteem from?

Brittney said...

I'm so glad you called you're mom when you had your fight! Moms always give you the best blessed advice to work out fights. I call my mom at least 5 times a day to get advice on every thing I do, especially to decide when me and my hubby should have kids, what color we should paint the house, etc. I'm so blessed that my sweetheart totally supports my relationship with my mom and follows all her advice! You should let your mom decide what to name the baby! Hugs!!!

khrysstull said...

kt, you will get your self-esteem from knowing that you got married before any of your friends did. Isn't that enough to show you that God loves you more than he does them?!?!

Adam and Kristina said...

Oh, and I also propose a poll for us, the people who know you best, to be able to vote on your baby names. Picking baby names should always be done by a democratic voting system.

Greg said...

You are a genius, whoever you are. Pure and total genius. You must REVEAL YOURSELF! I must meet you and worship at your comic feet.

khrysstull said...

I like baby names that are a combonation of both mommy and daddy's names. What about these?

TAMN+JJWT= Wegan/Jasole/Taytiff/Jordber

I am also a HUGE fan of the "a-lyn" names because you can turn any boy name into a girl name! Jordalyn/Jasalyn/Wesalyn/Taylorlyn!

YAY!

Anonymous said...

Wait...this blog is a joke?

Seriously, so blessed! said...

Hey guys! Love you! Reminder: if you want to post funny portions of some of blogs that are JUST LIKE MINE (super cute, super fun), fine, but if you post links to actual blogs I am totally deleting them. Funny portions, cool, sending strangers to mock my BFFs personal sites, not cool. JJWT and me heart you!!

khrysstull said...

Poor Amber didn't get the message about not posting real blog addresses...

heatherq said...

Good call on not posting links TAMN, but way to go Amber for finding such a perfecto profile...she even used "prego"! "I love my life and have never felt happier or more complete" about sums it up! TAMN and JJWT aren't the only ones with unfathomable perfection!! SO BLESSED!

khrysstull said...

I too, promptly went to the offending website.
I was glad to read that they've been married for 5 years and have a 5 yr old, a 4 yr old, a 3 yr old, a 2 yr old, a 1 yr old, a 6 month old and seven more on the way! The photo of her pee in a bottle really tops it off.

Amber said...

Sorry! I didn't see that other post about not linking real life blogs. That wasn't tactful of me, I'll repent! But seriously, the one I copied and pasted was from a REAL blog with NO editing, and is exactly why the clever master mind of seriouslysoblessed started this blog.

Keep it coming, this blog is starting to catch on and will be HUGELY popular.

Anonymous said...

Dang it! Amber post that again really quick just so I can see where that blog is :O)

SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said...

Ok, you had me at "second pair of earrings..."

The Raybould Family said...

Wait, have you been reading my blog anonymous? Reveal yourself!

Anonymous said...

I am feeling great...tired...but great! I love the stage that E is in right now! We have so much fun together! We play, read books, color, go for walks, swing on the swings! She is my best friend and I just love her more and more every day, if that's possible! I'm getting more and more excited for the new baby! I have a Dr.'s appointment tomorrow with my Dr out here so we get to hear the little heartbeat! I'm really glad...I feel like it's been a long time since we've heard it! But I'm getting a little baby bump to ensure me the baby is growing! We could possibly find out what we're having in 2 weeks!! I'm so excited for that! It's so nice having my friends out here! We do almost everything together! People out here give us funny looks all the time because it's the 4 of us and then we always have 4 big strollers with us! It's so funnY! The funniest was we went for a walk one day, there is a Circle K just down the corner from us so we frequent that, but we were walking out one day and this guy was holding the door open for us, and we just kept coming out, each of us with a stroller, and he said to us, they must have been having a sale!!!! Isn't that funny? I thought it was hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Should I talk to the bish about taking birth control just for "skin problems?" And I totally took out my second earing like a butt-load of years ago, but the hole still remains. Every time I see it, it reminds me of like all the sacrifices I've made to become as awesome as I am. I guess, though, that there will always be a second hole... in my soul. - Brooke

Anonymous said...

you are jerks

Brandi said...

I think that you and JJWT are so stinkin' cute and I can't wait for the little baby bump to show so that you can take tonz of cute pics of it.

Oh, and you should totatlly be calling JJWT "Mr. Hansen/Nielsen/Olsen/Larsen" because its soooooo romantic to refer to eachother and Mr. and Mrs. It makes me think that we live in a Jane Austen novel, but with way better pedis.

Anonymous said...

I hate disneyland.

Anonymous said...

I wondered why the photo of the home pregnancy test wasn't posted to announce your 'preggers' - you know... with no title or description - just a pic of something you have peed on and then posted for the world to see like it is a normal thing to do...but I understand, if you haven't taken the test yet there are only good posts to come...

Liz said...

An actual post from a blog:

Can I get a...
Booya for Greg!? Ok, this is another shoutout to my amazing husband who just got promoted at work! He's such a hard worker and does such great work, it's nice to see him progress in the company. So yay for Greg and all of his hard work. I seriously have the best husband. Sorry to the rest of you, but it's totes true. :D

Anonymous said...

Love this blog..

However when you find out that you are not preggers, you should announce it by making a pan full of funeral potatoes and put ketsup on the top saying "not preggers :(". Make sure you get the corn flakes on top! It would truly be fitting! :)

TaeLynn said...

Can't. Stop. Laughing. :)

TaeLynn said...

Can't. Stop. Laughing. :)

Ally said...

I knew this one girl, she left her second earrings in and her husband wore colored shirts to church....her womb was a rocky, barren wasteland in which her husband's seed could find no profit. I mean, I hate to judge, but maybe if she had been more faithful, like you and JJWT, she would have been more fertile.

There is beauty all aroouuunnndddd...

Anonymous said...

Ok first of all I love this blog and think it is totally funny. But sometimes I get a little annoyed at the comments. I think we are all a little guilty of some of these posts in some way.(so I love the bachelor)
what so wrong about trying to be positive (not perfect) but trying to have a positive outlook. I'm just saying some of these readers sound a little bitter.

Valerie Schmeltz said...

Amen to the Anon above me...TAMN is obviously just having a good time and so should we. Laughing at OURSELVES and the shallow, predictable exhibitionism of mo-blogging (and blogs in general) is funny...raging at every happy blog is, well, bitter.

I wish I had a Family'n'Consumer studies "degree" like hers.

Anonymous said...

You totally need to start home schooling RIGHT NOW. Like you could write the baby's name on your tummy over and over and stuff.

marci said...

um i like totally just read this blog for the first time and you are like so awesome! i like totally look up to you for holding onto the rod so good. you are truely an einspiration for all of us.
um i wanted to tell you that if you wanted to make your blog like totally so cute you should go to cutest blog on the block and get the cutest templates EVER! i think that you should totally get something so pink and sweet..it would totally fit you with your love for all things girly girl.
keep the faith going strong...and i am sooo jealous of your sweetie...did you meet him at byu? i just know you must have.

Anonymous said...

To the person who wrote the anonymous commentquoted below: YOU ARE BRILLIANT. Seriously, so blessed! is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Talk about someone who sees through all the crap and can make fun of it. LOVE IT!

"I think someone should start a blog with the idea of being on a"Gag Patrol." Send them a message like, "You've been tagged by the gag patrol. Please visit seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com for further explanation." Many of these blogs in Utah County are absolutely ridiculous and these women (ahem, girls) seem to be trying to one-up their friends, siblings, relatives and neighbors. I actually think it is a sneaky, sly and subtle (or not so subtle) attempt to prove they are so much better and happier than the other people that read their blogs. And to cover up the real world and real live. They want people to read their blogs so they are sure to friends and family to their blogs so others can see, each day, how seriously and ridiculously blessed they are! Thanks for making this a joke because these people are a joke!"

KC said...

If you know “Mo-culture” or are having it crammed up you’re A**! This is truly the most pure form I have ever witnessed. Every ones comments are to friggin funny too. I prayed about it, got the confirmation of the Sprite, this blog is true!!!!

andrew said...

I'm really surprised by the recent spate of mean-spirited comments - things along the line of "I'm glad this blog is making fun of people - they're a joke."

Sure it's satire, and it can be pointed, but I think the writer knows enough of these types of bloggers and is friends with enough that s/he isn't writing out of spite, but just some teasing.

that's how it seems to me, at least.

Anonymous said...

I think it is sad that some of you are taking this to a mean level. It is meant to be funny. We should laugh at ourselves & not be so rude about other's blogs. I think it would be sad if everyone went private, because now they feel that they can't be themselves. Is it odd to believe that there are women out there that are truly happy with their spouse and children? I'm sorry if someone having a happy life disgusts you, Greg or other commenter's! I would rather be able to get on my blog and focus on the positive and not be a "too cool" mormon like some of these lame ass commenter's. The author of this blog is hilarious, but some of the commenter's are dumb! Yep, that's right you are dumb. Bring it!!!!!!

-seiously so blessed fan, but not a fan of dumb comments.

Alex Hall said...

I agree with that comment. Laughing at and mocking culture is a good idea: directing targeted HATE (seriously!) at people is not. Seriously.

Very funny blog.

Logan said...

I agree with the past few comments. I think this blog is funny, but some of the commenters sound seriously bitter about people they know who are truly like this. It's turning into mocking people for leading happy, fulfilling lives. Yes, those people may be cheesy and some of them may even be trying to show off, but lots of these comments lead me to believe that people are just jealous of them...

Julie said...

Some of us "commenter's" might be dumb, but at least we know how to properly make a noun plural. Who's dumb again?

Logan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AJ said...

Great blog! I can honestly say that my wife and I have been guilty of some of these topics. This blog is all in good fun though so laugh at yourself and appreciate the quirky culture we have. I know I will be less of a show-off on mine thanks to Seriously, so blessed. I don't think any of us try to do that, but you tend to not post the bad or mundane things of life for everybody. Perhaps we should do so.

And to all these anons, have the cojones to post under your real account.

Alex said...

Julie: Logan didn't call into question anyone's personal intelligence. You pulled this word "dumb" out of nowhere and were the first to use it. You are free to question your own intelligence of course, but no one else called it into question.

Incidentally, I'm finding the singular "commenter" exists in some dictionaries but not others - "commentator" is more common (and I like it less than commenter; it seems superfluous), so it seems the pros themselves disagree about the word (and, I'd guess, the plural of it). I wouldn't know - I'm just looking it up.