August 24, 2008

What mite have been

Kay guys, I have GOT to tell you something or I'll explode! Last night was SUCH a Garth song! JJWT and me had an indescribably amazing date night at Chang's cuz me and fetus were craving our own authentic China experience, and GUESS who we saw?? My ex Ryan!! One of the guys I got engaged to while JJWT was on his mish!!! WEIRD weird WEIRD. Poor Ry's life is SUCH a bummer now (mean that in a nice way), bc not only was he w/ my sort of skanky neighbor who got sent home from EFY two summers ago (not to judge but the whole things a little scandalicious) but since I dumped him he has TOTALLY gone off the deep end. Use to have tonz of po-tential, now he drinks ice tea. SAD!

Anyways, since this is my journal, the story is that back when Ry popped the Q, I didn't really tell JJWT. He'd only been out 2 mos and I didn't want to distract him, plus was still going to JJWT's fam's for Sunday dinner so didn't want things to get awkward, but Ry and I had TONZ in common! Both LOVED fun AND both loved Eyetalian food AND he was TOTALLY going to be a dentist and I'd always call him Dr. and we planned tons of vaycays so I = pretty pos he was the one. But then, everything changed :( .

He switched his major.

To SOCIAL WORK.

I mean, I'm all about helping people, but not for a LIVING! I prefer indirect service such as stimulating the economies. So, that's when I knew it wouldn't work and he started to gross me out, but I didn't know how to break it to him, PLUS the ring was so darling and the dresses and showers were so fun I didn't call it off til a couple weeks before. What's SO super about prayer is that it's not only a neat way to send the universe messages, it's also a handy Donald Trump card to get you out of stuff! Just say "I don't fill good about it" and the other person is seriously stuck! LOL! Ry cried so hard, so that was a bumout. I felt way bad (he is NOT a cute crier) so I shrugged, frownsmiled, batted my hairy-spider eyes and while shaking my cute head, gently said, "Don't blame me," and pointed an acrylic nail heavenward.

SOOO great to see him!!!

66 comments:

Julie said...

I luuvv the new look! I totes pulled that card with my old fiance too!! Such a good idea!

AzĂșcar said...

If you aren't down with trickle down economics then we can't be homies.

SORRY!!!!

b. said...

I HATE when they "ugly cry"...toedilly a dill breaker.

Reggs said...

he should have been a dentist that did social work in his spare time, like while you're getting your pedis.

marc said...

The best way to do social work (outside of Home Teaching of course)is to follow the example of Bill Gates and Donald Trump: make tons of money and then give away the part that big government is trying to steal from you. To think, if you had only explained this habit of the highly successful to Ry, you would have the best Da Vinci Veneers ever. Let this be a cautionary tale to all.

jennyd said...

Wow--that sitch is just like when Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston(Sad!)to marry Angelina Jolie (except with more righteous, temple-worthy peeps, of course). OMgosh--I wouldn't be surprised if your little hottie fetus turns out even more smokin' than Shiloh,Viv,and Knox (ew! get a real name) combined.

KT said...

I'm glad you ran from THAT train wreck. Who would major in SOCIAL WORK, anyway? There is NOTHING in the BOM about helping people for a living, and I would know since I'm read it like three times--TO THE END.

KT said...

I've read it...whatever.

Nathaly said...

I just saw that under Leave your comment it says "thoughts n feelings". I don't know what that means. Shouldn't it say "thoughts n fillings"?

Soooo glad you you're still blessing us with cute giveaways just like Oprah, but centered around the plan!

shel7by said...

i just peed a little. ha ha ha ha ha haa.

ukyankoz said...

KT is toadally right, I mean, in the BOM they helped people, but NEVER for money - ew! THat's like toadally aganst the plan! You have to make lots of muney as a dentist/laywer/doctor/businessguy and then you pay taxes and the goverment gives it to poor people - DUH! Plus with social work, he would have had to meet people who were SO not living the plan. SO glad u got away in time! Heart you!

Renee said...

Eww, I bet you a million diet cokes, Ryan has a beard now too huh?

Go glad you missed that bullet.

Adam and Kristina said...

People who work in social work are LAME! I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to marry him. I actually feel sorry for him, helping people for a living.

That reminds, me, I need to take my social work license into work to put on my wall.

Shelle said...

k that was too funny! lol!

Sage said...

I like the parts about your cute head and acrylic nail - you paint the perfect picture of your cute self. It must be all that visualizing that's made you a great story-teller

Chelle said...

ok he's really off the deep end if he's drinking ICED TEA!!!! His soul must be suffering...

Chelle said...

oh and totally diggin your darlin e-store!!!

GladysIcanbee said...

EWWWW, so sad when somebody totally turns to the dark side. Unless, of course, the Iced Tea was green tea, in which case it's okay because it's all healthy and good for you. I'm feel a frown coming on, better start humming "Never a better Heero"

Robby said...

At least Ry wasn't doing MFHD, because then you wouldn't have anything to offer the partnership and y'all would be fighting over parenting strategies and you might even actually have to work. Like gross. I bet his wife is plotting affairs on the daily. But it's OK, because then your husband will get paid to represent one of them in divorce court/ fix her teeth which he vengefully punches out/ resuscitate her back to consciousness and perform reconstructive surgery.

So Blessed!

The Raybould Family said...

Poor Ry Ry, I bet after he saw you so happy he went into the back and ugly cried again. Then I bet skanky saw him ugly cryin and had to give him back his ring also. At least he had a few months of your serious blessings.

Kate and Wiley said...

Ew I hate ugly criers...you made the right decision.

Token Asian Friend said...

That ring was cute. Remember when Ryan had the nerve to ask you to give it back? (SOOOOO not classy-I mean, he gave it to you, right? So what if you aren't getting married...it was still a gift!) You told him you had lost it when really you had the 5 Karats worth of diamonds put into a charm for your toy pomeranian's purse/tote. That was a cute charm.

Sandi said...

ice tea - hurts my heart almost as much as when I saw seminary counsel pres. from HS drink a Chai - maybe I should pray for her?

rachael said...

i LOVE eyetalian food!

Hambone said...

Wow TAMN! Ice cold and sacrilegious. And yet, the LDS woman love you.

You are like the Mormon Scarlet Pimpernel.

Marie said...

Hilarious post. I'm so glad I'm a girl because girls can totally get away with being social workers. I mean everybody knows the only reason girls go to college is to find their own JJWT anyway. But boy social workers . . . blechy! Good thing you are so inspired!

Sue said...

Well, MY dentist just does his social work by going to Mexico and doing it for free there. The best of both worlds. He should uv thought uv that.

cheri said...

I LOVE that Garth song! Glad you didn't bother telling JJWT you were engaged. Can't wait to hear about the OTHER guy you got engaged to while he was gone!

Man, I'm craving Changs so bad now.

Kenna said...

LOL! Hilarious.

Katie said...

isn't helping people for money kinda like priestcraft?

Maybe I'll ask that question after RS this next week. Thats where I get all my doctrineation

sheldonandjulie said...

Who on EARTH would want to be married to a Social Worker? One who wants to be DIRT POOR that's who.

emily said...

count me in. count me in. Love the acrylic nail pointing toward heaven..funny funny.

linzipoo said...

Good thing you pulled the Trumpster out and just in the Nick of time!

I bet old Ry wore a blue shirt to church the next week and was removed from the sacrament table. Totally saved yourself from that!

Rachel said...

Poor poor Ryan.

Erin, she who posts alone said...

It's getting bad here. I feel the need to tell most people what I laughed about here. Addiction is not pretty, so I better go talk to my RSP. Well, at least I'm not drinking iced tea. Dang, except the herbal tea! Sigh...one more thing to tell the RSP. I'm so going to be demoted from hymnbook-hander-outer to lace-tablecloth-putter-onner.

U-R-A-Q-T said...

Brutal and beautiful all rolled into one. Brutiful.

U-R-A-Q-T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suzie Bean said...

seriously, how do you come up with this stuff! Hilarious!!

Megz said...

Not to weird you out---but I'm pretty sure he was stalking you! Why else would a social worker be at Chang's?? Don't they have to eat at soup kitchens?

mintyfresh said...

TAMN--I just hafta say that I shurapreesheeatecha and your literary hilarity! BTW--Did Ryan serve his mishin in Illinoise?

WonderKitty said...

Agreed. Brutiful.

Brig said...

wow you are a messed up individual. I hope you are making this stuff up to be funny, because if not then you are being a real materialistic slob who manipulates ppl and lies about spirituality to get what she wants.

The Garrison Family said...

HI you probably wondering why this random person left you a comment, but one of my bff blogged about your blog so I did as she said and checked out your blog and she is right you are hilarious.
well that's the way it works if it ain't the right person no matter which way you turn it, still ain't the right person for you. Gotta be thankful for personal revelation.

Brig said...

haha, okay joke is on me! I'm so gullible...

Jane @ What About Mom? said...

I have a request. Would you please, please, please do a review of the Stephenie Meyer Twilight books? Please?

Whitney Elizabeth said...

i heart you and what you said about the "get out of jail free card" that people pull with prayer. it was perfect.

Gentrey said...

Tamn, since you are so caring and concerned about others, you should totally set Yvette up with Ryan. Now that he's only going to be a social worker, they would probably be a perfect match.

Lauri said...

I am pretty sure... looking from the outside in, (I dont like to judge) But this blog was way less than NICE!

IMHO

Chelle said...

too bad ppl rilly think this blog is fir rills! It's all fir giggles! I love it, I come here every time I need some comic relief. It so therapeutic when I'm stressed out.

BTW TAMN, congrats goin on TV tomorrow. I'd watch but I'm not blessed enuf to have KSL here in washington. need to upgrade my cable just to get that channel!!

Token Asian Friend said...

Chelle,

www.ksl.com. Gotta love the innernet. You can find EVERYTHING on it.

SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said...

Isn't that cute?! People who are lost (or should I say who irony is lost on) make me laugh as much as your posts. You should have a special commenters "Hall of Fame" (or Shame?)

tracie said...

Ewwww social work. Way to stay away. You want someone who's pulling in at least $500,000 a year so you can be a designer-clad stay-at-home mom/ social butterfly among your kids' friend's parents and the envy of all in Relief Socity/your stake.

Chelle said...

WOW! Thanks TOKEN ASIAN FRIEND! You are truly a blessing!

Taralee said...

Ok so I'm totally freaking out... I love your blog and all but from one totally gorgeous girl to another( i hope i haven't seen your face, just your heart, but your face is way more important)but whaterr where is your colorful background? I'm P O ed not pooed durr pissed!!!!!But I still totally love you. Your sweet sister in zion

Maddy said...

Agree - plz write a review for Twilight.

Maddy said...

Disagree - don't change your blog's background...it's so PURE as it is.

~*Jen*~ said...

I almost fell into that social worker trap too. He said he wanted to be a psychologist. Fine. But then after the engagement told me his real desire to be an LSW. No go! I think we've got some crazy, creepy life connection going on here TAMN! Either that or you're reading my journal that I so dilligently write in everyday! OoOoOoOoOoOo!

Mother 25 - 8 said...

You're hilarious!

Mother 25 - 8 said...

You're hilarious!

Cheyney and Ryan Lindgren said...

Love the blog. Way to dodge Ryan the Social Worker. I mean who would ever want to be married to a social worker named ryan...

Tif said...

You so dodged a bullet there. A social working crier. Sc-ar-ee!

David & Katie said...

You probably won't even read this since it's from fovever ago, but you can't knock a guy for wanting to help people. Maybe he thought it would be a great way to help others AND provide for his fam. Plus what if he prayed about it and felt like it was right? What now?!

Hillary and Cameron said...

The three boys I dated in college before I met my husband all broke up with me after a month of dating and their excuse was always "I just don't feel good about it." LAME!!

kingofthesofas said...

This blog makes me ashamed to be
Mormon.

Babbling Brookie said...

Bahahaha! I never knew how to explain to people why I hated blogs but now I know! I'll just tell them to come here as a representative of all Mormon-mommy blogs. Thanks so much.

Mariana said...

Is this what the Utah mormons are like? like the author of this post and all those who commented supporting her?