October 7, 2008

to my gorgeous feti, w/ a bumload of luv


October 7, 2008


My little darling shrimp-size feti,


Hi babies! Just want you guys to know, in case you read this blog, that we are way, way STOKED for your lifes!
Seems like just yesterday we felt deep in our hearts that you were planted as luscious future feti plants in my fertile wombgarden with daddy's resilient seed. Can't believe only 188 more days til I birth you! Nobody can believe there're two of you bc I am still SUPER skinny but I don't make a big deal about how hot my hot bod is so as not to make others covetis but seriously, I look great, even at 13 weeks, not whaley like most of my preggo friends. Seriously, fetuses, want you to have it better than I ever did so I'm working way hard to make sure you ALWAYS, no matter what, have the hottest mom out of any of your classmates. Sometimes I hum Saturday's Warrior's "Pulling together we can work it out" as a little lullabye in case your singing along in heav'n. I've also been plugging my iphone's headphones into my belly button and playing Beethoven, Baby Einstein, Teach Yourself Chinese and Michael McLean to help excelerate your geniuses.


Anyways, we don't yet know if you'll be little boys or little girls or both (like one of each, NOT like hermfrodiet, sick, you will DEFINATELY not be gross slash weirdos)!! We're going to the mall to find out soon! But if your girls you'll be cutest princesses ever
and if your boys you'll be total studs. Either way you'll be besties so thanx a TON for choosing our fam. Can't wait for you to get out so I can squeeze you so hard (in a loving way) and pierce your ears/glue bows on your head or surround you with sports related objects.


Love always,
Mommers

77 comments:

cheri said...

...all alone, we just can't make it...by ourselves we'd fall behind! if we lift and pull together, we can help e/o climb!...

thanx for the song, TAMN!

Kerry said...

thanks for not making a big deal about your skinniness! They'll be SO GLAD you're their mom when they read this :).

Hilary said...

It's so cute when people pierce there baby's ears! It's like, I know your just a few days old, but can I pleeease award your cuteness with some bling? It's not like they'll ever remember the pain.

Kristina P. said...

I guess I know what hubby and I are doing for FHE next Monday! Planting future feti plants in my wombgarden. And then going to Cold Stone for dessert, of course.

I think that was a Conference talk, right?

Annette Lyon said...

They'll totally be the cutest slash studliest little kids EVER. How lucky are they to have you for their mom?!

Susan said...

I fear that I totally look whaley at 14 weeks prego... jealous of your hot bod!!

Justin said...

They have Internet up there?

Corey, Sadie and Cailyn said...

Ahhh..*sigh*....I think a tear or two fell while reading that! I don't even care that my eyeliner ran a bit, I needed to re-apply anyway!

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

"I've also been plugging my iphone's headphones into my belly button"--that is classic TAMN! You crack me up. :D

rachael said...

Your fetuses speak asian??? Cool slash weird!

Nancy said...

TAMN, a newsletter to your feti! Lurve it! You are like the the non-aposticized Dooce. Plus, you are WAY hotter!

Hizzeather said...

I'll take them if they're hermies. :)

Mommy2lilgems said...

cute! make sure you save this for them to read, I'm sure they'll be reading the instant the are out of the womb!

Chelle said...

Why didn't I think about writing to my fetises while they were still in the womb?! TAMN IT ALL TO HECK!!! Why do you have to be so perfect? HEART YOU!

Julie Anne said...

I heard the mall thing can actualy hurt yor babiez!! You should be carfeul! You don't want to hurt them!! I'm rilly worried about them slash you....

Jill said...

Have you got them enrolled in preschool yet? All the really great preschools have huge waiting lists.
Of course, after all the edukashun that their getting from your iPod, they'll probably pop out of you so smart that they can go directly to college, so nevermind.

Camille said...

Your kids are so lucky to be inside your womb.

kits54 said...

O.K. Peersing if they are a girl/s
What if thers a boy tho...hate to bring it up TAMN....they mite ask you. Serc or not to serc. So hard to deside.
Just let hubby chooz.

stewbert said...

awww, yer gonna be the bestest and hottest mommy ever ... you already started!!

Elizabeth said...

I hope you post a poll so your e-bffs can guess the gender.

sprouted said...

Oh, what a darling and special note. This is the specialist thing that's happened since...since probably the bonding at cowboy bunko night. I just hope yer feti know how darn lucky they are to have such a carin' and preparin' mom. I feel like you should have a cute, cute, semi-tight shirt with arrows pointing to your belly that says "grow where your planted."

What color iPhone for their baptism will you get them?

Skipper said...

Why are you waiting until after you BIRTH them to pierce their ears?!? Doctors can do surgery on feti these days...right?

Kiersten said...

Wait, you forgot to tell us all about how guys still hit on you like ALL THE TIME. Because you want us to know that even though you still have a ton of options, JJWT is hotter than all of them. Plus, you're too righteous to flirt back. Much.

Token Asian Friend said...

I'm so envious!

1). You are 13 weeks pregnant, and you can still stick things IN your belly button.
2). Your feti are genetically programmed to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually perfect. Mine are just programmed to be human computers :(

Jami said...

You're so going to have both a boy and a girl! I just know it!

That way you'll have the best of both worlds. You can lavish the girl with glitz and dude the boy up with sports!

Misty said...

TAMN,

Why couldn't you have been preggers b-fore me so I could share some of your ideas. Now you know I was all about my feti listening to mozart and Mo-Tab but I didn't even think of teach yourself chinese. Am I a horrible parent?

GladysIcanbee said...

"Humble way, humble way now" how appropriate. TAMN, not only are you the hottest, you are the humiliatedest too. I love how in tune with the plan you are, sucha good zample.

Shari said...

Ok, the earphone in the belly button thing was funny.

Victoria Elder said...

TAMN your going to be the hottest mother ever & the best mother EVER... you could make a blog for each baby after they are born & have it be like there LIFE journal! then get it printed out

Chris and Jen said...

funny slash hilarious. thanks tamners

zimfam said...

COMPLETELY INNAPROPRIATE poll about a Prophet of God. Pres. Uchtdorf should not be objectified like this...shame on you. You know better, rm. Let the stupid fake, molly mormon persona die and get real. Shame, shame, shame

Corey, Sadie and Cailyn said...

First, yikes ZIMFAM!! Second, I think the reason for the 500,000 blog view on the 6th may be directly related to my ONE YEAR ANNIVERARY!!! BAAAAHA! I know, great things happen to great people on the same day all the time.

The Millers said...

I remember when I first saw the sonogram place in the Provo Town Center. I thought it was a joke!! So weird.

ramsam said...

Wouldn't it be so fun if they are both girls you could scrap book their ultra-photos and collage on some little tiaras?

You could have the cutest pre-birth scrapbook ever-

don't forget the premortal page. I bet they baked goods for all the soldiers during the war in heaven.

Nerd Goddess said...

Brilliant.

kris said...

Oh TAMN, you just get better and better. Zimfam, like it or not, Pres. Uchtdorf IS handsome.

Good luck with your fertile wombgarden, TAMNers!

Mina said...

Your alredy sich a better mom than me, and I've had 14 years of practise--15 if you count her as a fetus!! You're kids are SOOOO lucky to have such a hot, in toon, mommers like U. By the way, haven't heard much about you're wives clubs lately. Are you just two warn out to do anything with them? Pulez let us know!!

And I wonder why it is that just because someone is an apostle they can't be a bit of a hottie. I am adding this seriously. It's written frequently what an attractive man Joseph Smith was, and that that was some of his appeal. Were they "objectifying" him?

craftyashley said...

I totally felt the same way when I was carrying my twins. Although, I knew they were both girls. Twins are the greatest blessing ever- sorry all you guys who had singletons!

clueless said...

Hmmm... I've lusted over Dalin Oaks for a decade now (yes, I'm that old and read this blog) and figure it's okay - the lusting is a sin, but the fact that he's a General Authority and I listen to his every word cancels out the sin so I figure I break even...

Marisa said...

I am totally offended by your Pres. Uchtdorf poll as well. It should have been Elder Bednar.

Kari said...

500,000 hits?! bAHHHH! Is it okay that like a gaZILLION were all from me cause I'm a total bLoG sTaLkEr but in a cute(slash)sweet way...not creepy(slash)weird way!

I loveLOVElove that you wrote your hot feti a letter! Remember how you used to write JJWT on his mish and tell him ALL about what your future kids would be like?! Omg(osh), now it's like REAL! puhLEEZE tell me you still have those letters and will todally share them with us, Tamn! x0xO ;)

Sheridan said...

Well, you need to start thinking about how these feti are coming out. Here is an inspirational video for moms of multiples!
http://hypnobabies.wordpress.com/2008/05/12/inspirational-video-for-multiple-moms/
Enjoy.

kareninkorea said...

I, ummmm, seriously ~ kinda can't believe you call them fetisez. It's kinda ick and sounds abortable....

You sSOo need to chuz cute nicknames... you kno: lima-bean and chickpea ur sumpin'!

Come ON!!


I SO hope that thur GIRLZ !!! come on? the clothes? the accessoriez?

GirlZZZZ!


(and just plan on an epi -durhaul in the parking lot. You so don't want to sweat during berth--- ick. God invented medz just for His Specul daughters... it's the last daze ya kno?)

Dana said...

Just came across your blog!

I will be a regular reader!!!

Whitney R said...

Someday, I hope to have my honey fertilize my gardenwombbed. Is there anyway to drop any MORE hints than I already do that ITS TIME!!


*sigh* how will my precious little babies ever slide down that baby slide from heaven???? Maybe since you are so in tune you can ask your next baby to give mine a big PUSH down that slide. Yeah?

Lisa said...

puke.

Amy said...

Thank you for making me laugh tonight....

I just found you somehow- and I will be back!

Kamity said...

I agree with kareninkorea. Your righteous hot feti totally need nicknames. But you can't name them lima bean and chickpea because like you said, your feti are already shrimp-sized. We need non-size-specific nicknames. Any ideas????

Erin said...

Saturdays Warrior! Oh my. Where do you come up with this stuff? Hilarious.

b. said...

You are going to be the best mom!

You should start writing letters in months, you know, like D00ce. It could be like Dear Leta and Feta...Month -6.

Tat said...

Sooooooo cute, TAMN! I know this is, like, way early and stuff, but when the time comes you can teach the babies baby sign language so they can say "more" and "you're pretty, mommy" and "Ruth need lipstick!" So funners!

Kate said...

I agree - this would look great in your pre-birth scrapbook. Does Stampin' Up have feti stamps?

BYU Athletic Supporter said...

Your feti are so so lucky.

ukyankoz said...

Collage-ing a tiara on a scan photo? HI-LARIOUS!! Oh, I hope you do, TAMNers!

They also need matching names, but not like Joseph and Emma cause that's creepy slash weird. More like Julie and Jenny, only spelled differently. Cuz normal names spelled weird is TODALY part of the plan. Keep up ur hotness!

kbradley said...

That was such a touching letter....sniff*

EmmaP said...

of course, all of their little "ensembs" will be from gymboree or baby gap or the children's place, I assume, so they can be totally coordinated with each other and look just oh-so-a-DOR-able. And of course, all of the other mommers in the ward slash neighborhood slash mommy-n-me play group will just be ever so jealous!

Kate Bailey said...

i kind of want to know what you're going to do in 187 days when the babies are due... ??? guess i'll have to keep reading to find out!

Misty said...

You are so freakin' witty. I really was laughing when I read this letter, but I love the truth in it. Thanks for the smile! :)

Unstoppable Lindsey said...

There must be something better than corn syrup to make those baby bows stay on. I don't want my babies' heads to ever get mistakenly licked because of it. What baby glue is out there anyways?

Daria - Boutique Cafe said...

TAMNERS I'm tagging you girl, because this blog tag game wouldn't be complete without your hot self answering. :)

Hope you can join in! Daria
http://www.muirheadkingdom.com/blogs/daria/2008/10/08/550/

Tara said...

Seriously...WHERE do you come up with this stuff?

Spirit Woman said...

TAMN ~ I'm sorry, but you're really beginning to get on my nerves! What if your precious cargo isn't so perfect? What then?

The Petterssons said...

Your feti are so incredibly luckie to have a super smart and hot mom. I now feel sorry for my baby. When I had only 188 days left before I birthed my baby, I was super-duper huge with monstrous cankles. But you probably don't know what cankles are... Keep up the fun blogs. They keep me sane during my 9hour bordem at work.

Shauna said...

OMGOSH!!!! When I first clicked on this blog entry, the hottest fetuses ever were TOTALLY cuddling in your little ticker thingie. I think it's totally proof of how your feti are already totally the most loving children ever BEFORE THERE EVEN BORN!!! It must be because they can already totally fill the love coming from there hot and awesome Mommers!

I'm totally torn on whether or not your should have one of each or if you should have two girls. I mean, if you have one of each, HOW PERFECT IS THAT???? Totally balanced little family unit right there. But it WOULD make it harder to dress them all matchy matchy. And rilly... what's the point of having twins if there not going to have matching outfits and hair bows, etc.

What I've rilly been wondering about though is how you fill about people touching your belly now that your preggers. Puleeeeez post something soon about that. Since I am also preggers, I need to know how to fill about this!!!!

J.Frey etc. said...

This kind of makes me sick/jealous

eileen said...

This totally reminds me of the sleepover when we were 13 and we wrote the letters to our future hubbys. ahhh. No doubt you lived up to your promises in being JJWT's dream wife. He better appreciate your greatness. Does he still have the small laminated copy of the letter in his scriptures so he can read it every morning?
love

M&B said...

TAMN!! You'll never believe it but I just saw you here in Kauai! I was getting tix for a train ride with my toddler, and you were standing in line with your daddy. I thought you were 14 years old because you weighed about 95 lbs and you were clutching his arm and saying, "Daddy, ask the ticket lady where the bathroom is!" and "Daddy, aren't we going to the luau tonight???" I knew you guys were Morm b/c of his BYU hat, and your superstraight multicolored hair and tight-but-modest t-shirt.
Then when you got on the train (your mom was hot, BTW, in a matronly sort of way), I saw you had a big fat rock, and a cute husband "in toe"!
When I heard you say, "We're going to the GINOURMOUS Luau tonight!" I knew for sure it was you. Viva TAMNs wherever you are!

The Espersen Family said...

Ok Tamn so I totally need your expert advice. My hubby and me are trying to get preggers with babe #2 and I need some awesome adeas on how to tell him the big news when I find out we are preggo. How did you tell JJWT? I'll bet it was the most adorable way eva! Thanx TAMN!

Bryce and Tiffany said...

lol. Thanks for the REAL laughs...you got me I'm a slave to your blog...p.s. it was highly recommended to me by april as in jakenapril :) Best wishes Preggo!

Kristen said...

Cute-"mommers"!

I think you should sew that letter on a pillow and put it in the nursery, for rills.

Wendyburd1 said...

ROFL!! Ohmigosh, I came over from Whitney's blog, cuz if you are her BFF, then you must be crazy cool I thought, and you are!!
I gotta ask though..you'll know at the MALL if they are boys or girls?? How's that work?! And I hope they are not gross slash weirdos too...they always wind up in horror movies!! CONGRATS!! This is probably fueling Whitney's baby hunger huh?LOL

Wendyburd1 said...

the baby slide Whit? really? LOL

Rachel said...

TAMN! I just had a fab idea for you feti/future way cute childrens!
You should plug the "Inside Out-Primary Colors" CD into your b-button too!!! Cos then they'll learn some fab new a-capella versions of primary songs, and when they get to primary they'll totally sound WAY better than all the little yelling kids who pretend to sing and then they'll be like way righteous and get asked to sing in sacrament meeting like all the time. But of course they'll still be humble.
AND, who doesn't love a hot singing stud slash princess?!?? Your kids will be like just as hott as you and JJWT and find spouses that are just as good looking and then your whole family will just be so fab!!

Pure genius, I know. But you can take the credit since you're all preggo and hotter than me and smart and all. You deserve it! Love you!

Keni the Vampire said...

hey that was so cute. ur going to be a great mom. i know it.

Diana said...

Kinda funny how you go to a mall now to figure out gender, eh?

Serena Laird said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara said...

Soooo exciting!! I have b/g twins 20 months old. unplanned. but freaking cute and made 5 kiddos for me. wouldn't change it for the world. i'd have 2 more sets if i could....