December 23, 2008

hurry, advise needed!

Love holidays! Seriously, gifts is one of my talents and I have a way long history of awesomeness in the neighborhood gift dept. CDs of me singing, homemade fat free naytivity shaped fudge with edible glitter, you name it, I've rocked it. This year is going to be the best ever!
This year, made our hole neighborhood Christmas ornamints with the 7D pics of the feti engraved on them!! Baaa! WON'T THEY LURVE IT!?!? Now AngelSweettart thinks I need to include treats in addition! Is it true?? What do I do?? What do YOU do?? Do you have neighborhood gift advise?? I hate competitiveness which makes my heart hurt, but I know I'm supposed to let my lite shine and being the best is seriously a talent I've been blessed with so how do I make sure MINE IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSES???

46 comments:

Hizzeather said...

Hello??? Feti shaped cookies with realistic looking frosting and anatomically correct! DUH!

Merry Christmas! :)

Kerry said...

HAHAHA!

Easy: no treats. Just print out your darling new header.

The Lewis Family said...

Cupcakes, we gave cupcakes, always a winner. You can do blue and pink ones to represent the babes :)
~C


www.clerissalewis.myctmh.com

Rach said...

Mmmm, naytivity shaped fudge with edible glitter...

McDonald Army Brats*** said...

wow plz tell me that isn't your beautifully decorated door. I absolutely love it! I want it all! :) Does that answer your question whether I am being selfless this season or not?! :)

kris said...

I'm moving into your neighborhood right away. I've always wanted to hang an ultrasound from my tree and someone else's would just be divine. Lucky!

Quixotic Healer said...

TAMN!!! You HAVE to help stop the hollahday binging! Just cause youre naybors dont have the WoW doesnt meen they shouldnt be trying for a celestial body like yours!

Misty said...

I would definitely be making cookies.

What if some one got fended cuz they can't make perfect super-gorgeous feti's like you?

At least give them some cookies/fudge/truffles/frozen dr. pepper ice sculpture to make them feel all Christmas-y.

Robyn said...

It's all about the delivery--make sure you sing "Breath of Heaven" (every verse and chorus) on their doorstep. And don't forget the karaoke machine!

Sidney Bristow said...

you know TAMN, going organic is pretty hawtt and absolutely all the rage in la, so i totally think you need to start that trend where you live, LIKE NOW. organic cookies, shaped like peace signs. bebes and mommies, boff, will lurve it. make sure you use post-consumer recycled boxes, and organic ribbon to tie it all up together nooooce. plus it will enhance your integrity and virtue. kick A, and GOOD LUK.

Amy said...

TAMN, you should defiantly include a treat with the gift. I'm thinking the Diet Pie that you made for Thanksgiving would be a real winner.

Sheridan said...

How about some milk duds and say it is Reindeer Poo?

my stay-at-home-momma drama said...

I know how difficult it can be letting your lite shine without getting too competitive. In order to have the best treats in the neighborhood, you def need to include treats.

RatalieNose said...

Treats definently

Mhana said...

Hole wheat with applesauce instead of butter! That way they'll LOOK delicious but taste like heart-healthy cardboard! You're the bestest!

Kristi said...

Or Mini marshmallows as Snowman Poo:)

The Boob Nazi said...

pssh no matter what you do, yours will totally still be better!

skizzy and amy wright said...

there are a LOT of cute ideas on savvyshopper.com under neighbor gifts. i did a few of them.

Kathleen said...

Um, you should totilly make some fat-free fudge shaped like you're feti to match the ornimints you made!

Nick and Blaire said...

Whateves treat you do (cus you have to do a treatsi pie!)... make sure you 'clude a suuuuch cute poem to display your inner lightedness! They will lurveeeee it!

Nick and Blaire said...

No matter what treats you do (cuz you have to do treatsi pies!!) Make sure you clude a wayyy cute poem to show your interlightedness! They will lurve it! Can I have one?! :0)

JBSquared said...

What?! You mean you haven't delivered your neighborhood treats yet? I got mine out the day after Thanksgiving, along with my personalized Christmas cards.

Token Asian Friend said...

Use the chocolate covered macadamia nuts you brought home from your 5 trips to Hawaii.

Then, you can sport you modest bikini and sing "Makikiliki maka" as you hand them out.

dharvey said...

Seriously so genius !! Fat free fudge cut into nativity shapes ....LOL ! What a riot.

The Hawaiian chocolate macademia nuts from is also a great suggestion. People love to get those as gifts.

Whatever you do, take care, and have a blessed Christmas. Thanks for the laughs and the day brighteners. :-) Love you, D.

Crazy McWife said...

I thought one of the commentors said "Diet pills" instead of "Diet Pie" and I ttly cracked up. :) That WOULD be really thoughtful of you though if you did really do that! Who couldn't use diet pills?

Tricia said...

uh hello??? don't u mean ornamits? I'm sure u do. we all mispronounce things now and then. s'ok tamn.

Becca said...

I always make plates of my yummo-liscious rain-deer poop (not reel poop, it's chocolate--click here for the recipe). But the best part of all is the DaRLiNG pome I wrote all by my-cute-little-self to go along with it. Everyone in the neighborhood looks forword to getting my goodies!

Yumm-o Rain-deer Poop Pome
(sung to the tune of “Up on the house top”)

Up on the housetop, rain-deer shake--
They need to take a potty brake!
Down from the roof their droppings slide,
While Santa’s stuffing gifts inside.

Ho ho ho! What do you know?
Ho ho ho! Down in the snow
Their cute little rain-deer poopy piles
Bring everybody lotsa smiles.

Rain-deers eat chocolate and licorish!
Christmasy goodies are their favorite dish!
That’s why their droppings are so darn sweet
Perfect for family and friends to eat!

Ho ho ho! What do you know?
Ho ho ho! Even though
Their droppings come out of their bummy bum bum,
Rain-deer poop is so yummy-yum yum!

akidd said...

Seriously, who could beat ornamints with your darling feti on them? I think a treat would only distract from their... and more importantly YOUR amazing cuteness!

Steve & Alli said...

TAMN seriously, we just ran around the neighbourhood delivering my in-laws annual carmel popcorn wreaths to the neighbours. My father in law insisted on plain 'ol regular plastic wrap with a "Merry Christmas" sticker- so glad he didn't put what house number we all live at. Anyways, definitely do treats- it's a must since some peeps might get all upset that you're having twinners and they don't even have any posterity yet, might as well give them something to help numb their senses and fill their bellies!

Briana said...

Definitely need treats!

Meg said...

My favorite neighbor gifts are the ones that reference poop in some way. Anyone who can turn stool or toilets into a Christmas cheering is a true angel.
Examples:

Reindeer Poop: Whoppers with a hole cut in the bottom and antlers attached.

Poopy Duck: Knitted duck that you squeeze and M&M's come out of the knitting. Attach following note:
"I'm a little poopy duck, I'm really quite discreet, just give me a little squeeze and I'll give you a treat."

Toilet Paper, Toilet Brush, or Toilet Bowl Cleaner:
Attach poem about how Christ cleanses our soul OR a snarky poem about the economy and how all you can afford is the roll of TP (printed on 5 overlapping scrapbook papers and metal embellishments and jewel with vellum overlay of a picture of Jesus.)

Shlepn7 said...

so my naybs only pony up with really gross biscotti so it's bin ridiculasly ez to kick the cul de sac's A with my D-Vine rocky road fudge. they're all: "this stuff is so good." and I'm all: "your too kind." I highly reccomend it rapped in blue slash pink ribbons of course:)

Alli said...

I don't know if my other comment went through...but you should totally make white-chocolate fudge shaped like you and JJWT and the feti!

Lisa said...

A fruit basket would be healthier than sweets.

Mrs. Clark said...

TAMN, you defiantly need treats. I suggest you get Krispy Kremes, one for each member of each household, and put them in festive bags. They're delish, everyone likes them, and this way, you're sure to stay the hottest mama on the street!

Becca, love your reindeer poop song, but I'm glad I don't live in your neighborhood.

As for me, I don't do neighbor gifts. I figure I'm going the extra mile by getting gifts to my visiteen teachees. So I'm a bad example. Oh well.

The Bradley's said...

I think you should ring everyone's doorbell brite and early on New Year's day and give them each a fruit basket that says "Wishing You A Happy And Healthy New Year!"

Way delish and nutrish - and maybe it'll hotten up your neighborhood.

Libby Sproat said...

Pocoa (Postum+Cocoa=You being so creative AND righteous)

Kelley said...

*slaps head*

Gosh darn it! I forgot to do like, ANYTHING for my neighbours this year. And they totally deserved something... I was thinking perhaps a cupcake decorated with bullets and bows.

Ho ho ho

Jordan said...

is this for reals? i am a little worried about this.

Cheri said...

you freak me out. like, in a good way.

Cheri said...

this freaks me out. like, in a good way.

Amber said...

You could do what I did: Get the Amish Friendship Bread starter. Take the TEN FREAKING DAYS to mash the bag, add the ingredients on the right days and bake it. Make TWO separate trips to the store and ONE trip to your neighbor's house because your'e a scatter-a$$ and didn't look at the recipe before you began this ridiculous bread-baking process. Bake TEN cute little loaves of Friendship Bread. Wrap em all up. Put "to and from's" on them. Leave em on your counter for five days because it snows and you don't want to go deliver them in the snow because all you want to wear is flip-flops. On the 6th day say, "to HE!! with my neighbors" and throw em all away because now you think the bread is going to be stale and you don't want to give em yucky bread.

Then you could come home from your family C-mas party on C-mas Eve only to find that your neighbors have all showered you with all manner of goodies even though you don't go to church (or BECAUSE you don't go and they're trying to activate you) and now you feel like a big, giant schmuck.

Or do the feti thing...either way.

Sarah's blog... and I guess our newlywed blog that I update like twice a year. said...

TAMNERS!

baaaa!!!! I would have NEVUR thought of the 7D feti ornamints!!! I totes want one, by the way!!!

I think you should do the reindear poops. How cute is that?? Defintatley include the reindear song, but make sure that you use festive scrappy paper and LOTS of stamps!And maybe you can tuck in a passalong thingy to show your spirishual side, to.

Merry XMas, LURVE YOU!

xoxoxoxox

damianne said...

I love you, sister, and because I care so much, I'm calling you to repentance for your pride. How can the rest of us have any kind of self esteem when you are going around spreading perky perfect holiday cheer. I feel like less of a homemaker because of my festive failings. I know that when I have a "bad hair day" it makes others feel good about themselves. Maybe you could have a "bad holi-day" to give true charity to others. Remember, you are loved.

Stephanie said...

wow. A fudge nativity? Is it even okay to eat a nativity? You know those cakes that look like dogs? Don't you think it's creepy eating a dog head? Let alone a nativity....

Mary said...

If the nativity shaped fudge has worked in the past...don't mess with success. Except, you might want to make the baby Jesus resemble one (or both) of your super awesome feti. I am sure they will Lurve it even more!