February 20, 2009

JJWT in the house

Hey everybody, it's the J-J-Dub. What's up? Valentine's rocked this year. It was way--WAY--better than last year when TAMN told me she didn't want anything and I believed her. Haha. She was so ticked. I didn't get any for a month. Lesson learned, boys, lesson learned. Now I just give her the credit card. When she's done shopping I pat her head and call it good. Girls are crazy.

I've got a ton more of your Qs to get to. Here goes. Hit me with more whenever you want.

Keddington Chronicles asked: Will it make you feel inferior if TAMN serves as the RS prez before you are Bish of your ward, or are you more secure with your manhood than that?

First off, what is she, forty? Babe will be YW pres WAY before she's stuck with the blue-hairs in RS. But you know what, we aren't one of those couples into "out-ranking" other couples or trying to be "H.P. by Thirty" or any of that. I don't keep score. It's so prideful and lame. I hardly ever even bring up that prez made me AP after only six and a half months out, or that I trained five times when no one else even trained twice. Keeping score is so Pharisee.

Charly asked: Why did your bro go for a "frump," as TAMNkins would call her, like Ruth? Is she not that bad, just brunette? The $$$? And why did he decide to go into a teaching career? Didn't do as well as you on the MCAT/LSAT/GRE/GMAT as you, huh?

Look, Ruth isn't THAT bad. She's cool. I wouldn't date her but she works for Spence. It weirds me out how she doesn't laugh when I quote Tommy Boy again and again and again. As for my bro, he's a good guy...for a LOSER. Just teasing, man. He's never been into normal stuff. He quit summer sales after a week. In HS he was a freaking mathlete the three years I took state. I'm just glad he's not gay.

Keighty asked: What about TAMN makes you the most proud to have her on your arm?
My in-laws read this blog. It's personal. Rhymes w/ moobs. Love you girl. Those were the best couple grand we've dropped so far.

62 comments:

Jenni said...

so Pharisee--love it.

Trent!? said...

Hey man. Always rocks to hear from you. Wasn't Spence AP after FOUR months out? Just wondering. No biggie.

Cheri said...

I just peed. LOL. Thanks as usual.

CJ Sime said...

blue hairs

moobs

ROTFL

Malinda said...

Funniest post ever!

Mhana said...

Oh my gosh I so totally hope MY future eternal companion is most proud of my moobs. It would make me feel really honored as a woman, ya know? I was wondering what you think of feminism? In my opinion (and by my opinion I mean my fiancé's which I'm parroting because social activism gives me wrinkles) feminism is against The Plan because women are trying to be more than men. At least I think thats what feminism is. So anyway, super glad to see its passed you right by!

marcie said...

"rhymes with moobs??" I don't get it.

Maybe I'm just too righteous to suspect that a man would ever even THINK about a woman's... ehem, moobs!!

Kerry said...

You are going to be such a great dad.

kris said...

For some reason, I'm not surprised Ruth never laughs when you quote Tommy Boy AGAIN AND AGAIN.

p.s. that new therapy ad is the best thing ever.

cambriaann said...

I'm new here... but WOW. Where have you been all my life?

Jacque said...

I LOVE! I needed a good laugh today and I got it! haha
JJWT you rock mister.

blogismycopilot said...

those "moobs" are going to be a very important part of post-birth-hotness, I hope that couple grand bought enough extra to make sure her post-preggo belly never sticks out past her "moobs"...its so depressing when the moobs are smaller than the belly.

J-Dub said...

I LOVE moobs!

Token Asian Friend said...

So, saying the word that rhymes with "moobs" on a blog is too personal, but saying, l"I didn't get any for a month" is not...

Wait, I'm writing this down...

Kandis said...

I think I peed my pants a little! SO FUNNY!

Jane @ What About Mom? said...

Best one in awhile. And my two year old loves the "baby doing round and round" in the sidebar. Thanks for making everyone's day a little bit brighter!

Scott and Jillian said...

This post was pure gold. SO freaking funny. The more I read, the more I laughed.

Renny said...

Sometimes I wonder whether you still post these or get your husband in on the gig. Because seriously, if it's still you as JJWT, you are a genius. His posts are my favorite.

Howertons in Iowa said...

okay, I'm convinced - I do like reading JJWT's posts. I wasn't sold at first - but this one was hilarious!! totally what I needed today!

kris... said...

OMG, are you my brother? Fur reals, you are and he are like... twins!

Chelsea said...

Moobs!?!

As a side note, of all the many advertisers in your sidebar, the Julie Hanks one is my favorite. I hate it when my angelbabe makes me frowny.

Anonymous said...

Ummm... Moobs = Man Boobs. Like Mimbo = Man Bimbo. And Mipples =, well you get the idea.

That's Ms. Amy to you... said...

Moobs are an outstanding way to spend all your student loan $$$'s. Any advice on selling my own Angelbabe on that idea? He just wants to use that money to pay rent and buy food and stuff. He totally doesn't have that Eternal Perspective like you do.

Jewel said...

I can't believe that you actually believed your wife when she told you that she didn't want anything for Valentine's Day. How insensitive of you!

Heidi Ashworth said...

TMI! Faux moobs? oh me oh my!!

savitrii said...

I... I love you.

Cheri said...

This blog delights me. As does that Angelbabe making you frowny ad. LoL!

The Stones said...

Fantastic-SO Pharisee should SO be the next Tee!

SumGreater said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! moobs...

One time during Sunday school our teach had us do intros of ourselves. The guy in front of me stood up, told about his interests, and then, NO LIE, said that his wife was just interested in whatever he was into and sat down. She smiled at him and said nothing......I could've broken several commandments right there. Cursing, murder, defacing my scriptures with his head... And I did in my heart. I don't think I even felt a need to repent...
What would TAMN do to you if you spoke for her? Ever done it?

SumGreater said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! moobs...

One time during Sunday school our teach had us do intros of ourselves. The guy in front of me stood up, told about his interests, and then, NO LIE, said that his wife was just interested in whatever he was into and sat down. She smiled at him and said nothing......I could've broken several commandments right there. Cursing, murder, defacing my scriptures with his head... And I did in my heart. I don't think I even felt a need to repent...
What would TAMN do to you if you spoke for her? Ever done it?

Hobley said...

hahaha... rhymes with moobs!

Marianne Martin said...

Only a COUPLE grand? Where did you go to get those moobies? A "highly certified surgeon" in Mexico?

Mina said...

"I'm just glad he's not gay."

This blog is genius.

Alisa said...

JJWT, I need more of you in my boring life. My stud of a husband never hands me the credit card and pats me on the head. And can you believe it? He says he loves my real moobs and wouldn't have me change them for the world? My whole world is upside down!
And the Julie Hanks ad is brilliant.

jhjonze said...

Didn't get any for a month? Moobs? I feel dirty just reading this...

Matt and Jennae Porter said...

"Rhymes with moobs?" LMAO.

The Boob Nazi said...

I love this blog.

Charly said...

Two tee-shirt nominations:

It weirds me out how you don't laugh when I quote Tommy Boy again and again and again.

High school mathlete (for the Spences out there, of course!)

Do it, do it . . .

Robert and Sherry Leal said...

Maybe you should try Dumb and Dumber with Ruth--she sounds like one of those "classic" types. ("Our pets heads are falling off!")

mindij said...

Man, I wish had your life! I do have rockin' "moobs", though and they are real!

James McOmber said...

One day I will be as righteous a suitor as JJWT... even though I only made ZL and trained once.

Karilynn said...

Holy GEEZE!! TAMN is so lucky to have such an AMAZING man! ;o)

Katie D. said...

I hope the word you were trying to rhyme with isn't Stoobs (our term for saggy ones......stomach+word that rhymes with moobs). That's just gross.

Lewis Fam: said...

i'm never let down with this blog......

April Mitchell said...

I've had 3 LDS women (in my ward no less!) confess to me they've had their moobs done.
Coming from California to Utah, I'd have to say the whole plastic surgery thing is not so Beverly Hills 90210 anymore.
I never knew a single person to get fake moobs until I moved here.
What gives?

Hilary said...

Party fowl JJWT!! Never mentiun the money spent on her gorgeusness! Her beauty is ALL natural (saline is natural, rite?!)

Fiona said...

Ha! Katie D. Stoobs are unavoidable but fixable!

Jen said...

OMGosh, I can't believe you were married last year on V-day. That means you'll be married for OVER A YEAR when TAMN pops the feti. What the heck were you guys waiting for? Tsk.

Alli's Keeper said...

I wish you would please talk about the cannery

Anonymous said...

Wait, they only cost a couple grand?

Bradley, DeAnna, and Donovan said...

Wow, I hope her fake moobs don't expand during the pregnancy, she will get *gasp* moob stretch marks! Gross.

Nora Mair said...

I want TAMN's narrative about the "moobs". I've been waiting forever to she her point of view and how they work into "the plan".

Marci and Morgan said...

Well done JJ.

Keri said...

Wait, so if TAMN has never had the surgery then what did you drop the "best couple grand" on?

Cook Family said...

Is there a reason why I can't post a comment on the new post about tamn's girls. That is a little fishy... I was going to say that I thought it was the pregnancy. Surgery. Tamn is perfect in every way. But now that that was posted, I may have my doubts. tear!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha h ah aha hahhahahah Oh Tamn, I'm so glad you're tackling this topic!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Here I thought I was the only one who caught that--comments must be off on today's post so I figured I would come here with all the other faux boobs.

Kamity said...

So the couple grand wasn't for moobs, eh? But moobs and a couple grand were in the same sentence ... Hm, feti = huge moobs. .. so does that mean you actually got some help getting those twinners? You shouldn't let us speculate like this!! It's dangerous!

Tara said...

Wooo-WEEE!!!! HA-ha-ha-ha-lol-lol-lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥

Kerry said...

I love this blog. Way to force JJWT to lie. I mean, we all believe the apology TAMN.

AMY! said...

TAMN! Please tell me you are accidentally going to get preggo AGAIN 10 weeks from now!!!! LOL it would be to die for! Maybe you'll get another double duo!

Chels said...

I HAVE TO COMMENT ON THE TRUTH OF THIS! MY HUBBY REALLY DOES THINK MY "FAUX MOOBS" AS ANOTHER WRITER CALLED THEM ARE THE BEST INVESTMENT HE AND I EVER MADE SOME THINGS BIGGER IS BETTER!
EXCEPT WHEN I GOT PREGO THEN THEY WERE JUST FLAT OUT HUGE SURPRISING~~~ HE STILL LOVED THEM

MEN

one of my fav comments was the person who said "saline is natural right?" hey, I have silicone... and they FEEL as natural as you can imagine! Totally falls under NATURAL! It's all about how you spin it!