November 6, 2009

whoa whoa whoa.

Hold it.

Guys.

Seriously.

This could change everything.

Is it true that the second time you get preggy, noone throws you showers??

92 comments:

renae said...

{ frownsmile }

Ty & Nancy Mackey said...

ssssoooo NOT true!!! I had such great friends, they threw baby showers for my first THREE preggers! (and my first two were BOTH girls)! Hope your friends are as great! {frownsmile}

debbie said...

The only way your going to get a second shower is if you rilly do teach second grade. Then all the little girls in your class will want to have a shower for you, with gifts they made theirselves.

Elizabeth said...

Don't worry TAMN, you can still throw yourself as many showers as you want!

Kerry said...

hahaha! I love that "it could change everything" meaning perhaps you won't keep trying to have another baby right now, because after all, if there aren't parties, what's the point?

Emily Lauren said...

I'm pretty sure you get showers for each one of them- even if you're having the same gender in the same season. It's great. At least that's what I though- otherwise I wouldn't be having my second.

bittyblessings said...

Well, technically, no, they don't. But since you had twins first, and the next babies won't be the same, OF COURSE you need all new things!! Otherwise the new babies won't be on trend, and that would really stifle their eternal (fashion) progression!!

Mhana said...

No, so toadily not true because the first time you all had darling boy stuff and the second time its a girl so you need new things...oh wait. The only way I know of to score a second-time around shower is to claim you gave everything away because you thought you'd never be able to have more kids but now that you have a miracle baby on the way you'll need all new stuff. If you should find yourself blessed with such a miracle child I suggest you get up in Relief Society and bear your testimony and suttley tell this story as part of some faith-promoting metaphor about how it is a miracle you got pregnant after literally weeks of infertility and hopefully someone will pick up the hint.

Jenny said...

Maybe you could just say that the stuff you already have is way to outdated so everyone needs to throw you a nother shower. Seriously bc who wants to use used stuff? GROSS.

M said...

The only time I have ever heard for someone getting a shower for the second baby is if it is a different gender, and then I have only heard of two.

I dont think its fair. But then I dont have any kids, and I think I should get a shower for me anyway.

Melisa said...

Only if they don't love you that much.

Frau said...

Yes, no one will throw you a shower. But since when has that stopped you?

But if you MUST have a shower THROWN for you, there is always the Donald Trump card of service.

Make sure you raise your hand EVERY week in RS and tell how much you and angel bunz are struggling. Talk endlessly about how hard it is to try and live on the money that your parents give you and how WICK doesn't cover crystal light. End by saying that you know God will provide and by "God" you mean "them."

What are they going to do without being seen as the prideful Nephites who got destroyed? That seems to work every time in our ward. It turned out so well last year that a sister got enough Carter clothes to sell on ebay and then buy Hannah Anderson. (Because she's struggling, but she wouldn't put her baby in target clothes.) See, her prayers were answered!

Katie said...

It would be different for you. Everyone would line up to host a party for you and your fetus. It's the perfect opportunity to show everyone else how in we are... in fact, can I throw the first one? It will be perfectly themed and color coordinated at the coolest house and with awesome party favors!

The Griffins said...

you can throw yourself one again, no biggie! :)

jamie said...

Of course its not true! You have more showers than the first time, since you know more people, of course. And everyone gets you DOUBLES of EVERYTHING in case you have another little Alivyiah AND Tridger.

Liv said...

whatevs. i'm throwing a shower for my friend who's having #2. buuut, her first baby was a GIRL and this one is a BOY so that makes sense. you've already had one of each, so you prolly won't get any pressies.

loser.

moonrat said...

i don't see any reason why YOUR second pregancy shouldn't be the one to shatter that stupid no-shower tradition!

Ru said...

Nah, you just need a good excuse to get more stuff. Tell people you that when you thought you were infertile, you gave away all of A&T's baby stuff to the less fortunate so you could be charitable and avoid the reminders of newborns. That way people will both admire you and throw you new showers.

Kamity said...

Only if your baby is the same gender as your first ... OH WAIT.

You're right! This could TOTALLY change EVERYTHING!!

Nicole said...

Umm.. like, really? Only frumps wouldn't have another shower for the next babies, it's not like you would want your kids in hand-me-downs. Ew. Totally Gross.

Kate Edmondson said...

Yeppers. Especially since you already had 1 boy and 1 girl. There's not even an excuse to have to give you stuff for the opposite gender.

E.m.K. said...

Only if you have more babies than you did on the first time around. Go for it, Decamom!

Chris said...

If your friends suck, that's true.

DanyaLynd said...

Well, all *MY* besties threw my TWICE as many showers the second time I got preggers. But *ahem* you know, no big deal if no one does that for you, you can just say that you are above that or something.... *frownsmile*

myimaginaryblog said...

That rule exists to spare people having to go to extra trouble for unpopular moms-to-be of 2nd babies. If your friends and/or acquaintances love you enough (and they do!) then they won't let a stupid tradition stand in the way of a celebration!

Shari said...

If you have lame friends, which I'm sure you don't, than you won't get another shower.

Rachel said...

My ward does a shower for every. baby. Including the seventh baby.

It is most obnoxious.

Cherios said...

Of course we'll throw you a shower! We're your EBFFs! And your real-life besties will throw you another one. And Glemma and Queenie will throw one separately.

erica said...

that's right.

Beckie said...

Your fabulous blog friends would definitely throw you a blog shower! You should get a shower for every baby had AND every five, make that 2.5 years married. Just my opinion.

Emily said...

Frau, you are funny. That is all.

Brandon & Jamie said...

You HAVE to have a baby shower for each baby. Clothing styles change way too fast! Hand-me-downs are so pioneer!

Beth said...

EWWWW! Second showers are sooooooooo tacky. This is gross

Laraine Eddington said...

Adopt. You are entitled to a whole new slew of showers when you adopt. Adopting a baby from another country is worth an additional shower and an ethnic baby is worth two more. Plus when you cart around a brand new baby and are wearing skinny jeans everyone really hates you (in an admiring way)

Matt and Jennae Porter said...

As long as the babies are at least a year apart, you totally get another shower. Don't people know that clothes go out of style?!

Candice said...

So definitely not true. If your friends really love you as much as they say they will definitely throw you showers for each time you get preggers. I mean and now that you have the twinsies in tonz of play groups you should get showers from each of the play groups I would think? I mean it only makes sense.

Ruthykins said...

my family tried to pull this crap with me. i was pregnant with my third child and so they figured i didn't need anything. finally a friend from church threw me one. so grateful for her. apparently i was supposed to save all the clothes and used pacifiers and bottles for years in case i had another child. yeah right!

Melissa Bailey said...

Just make your own invites, but don't put who's throwing your shower, (because hello tacky for you to throw your own shower) and have it at a public location. But not in the cultral hall at the church, yuck now that is tacky!

Life with Kaishon said...

How funny is this post? : )
Hilarious!

Lara said...

There's a new trend to throw "sprinkles" - mini showers for second/third babies. So the trend. And way to look conservative yet fashionable.

Emily said...

Just have a service shower-the kind were people think of things they can do to help you after the baby comes-they bring presents anyway.

Lisa Marie said...

Oh ya, this one needed to be blogged about. I HATE when people do second showers. So tacky. Who cares if it's a different sex. Stop begging people for new stuff. You have all your expensive things like swings, a crib, bouncers, etc. Go buy your own clothes people! I will never go to a second shower. And if someone tries to throw me one I'll puke.

Token Asian Friend said...

AND your body gets fatter faster.

That's probably enough to change everything PERMANENTLY, huh.

Angela Jensen said...

It's true if you live in Utah ( aka the promised land) but if you live in the mish-in fild. Then you get showers until baby 4.

Britta said...

I heard that no one gets good gifts from showers in Utah- because everyone is a poor college student, has big families, yada, yada. I'd go to back to DC to get the good shower loot and not the Zion shower from those cheap Mormons. :)

Crystal said...

you can throw yourself one

angi said...

Just tell your biggest bff's to just have a "girls lunch" and make sure you tell them how to tell everybody you don't need presents, it's not really a baby shower, you just want everyone to celebrate with you anyway. Any one who is really your friend will bring you a present anyway, just because they love you that much. Plus they might bring more things just for the Mom, like spa certificates and stuff.

Emmy said...

If you have a boy and the second is a girl, you are in luck or the other way around..

other wise, tough luck sister!

Unless, there happens to be some new mom that is having a baby around the same time as you, and you two become BFF's and then you insist on having a shower together.

Jennie said...

it all depends on how REAL your friends are.

I'm just sayin'...

(isn't it great how you can say anything, even rude things, but if you add "I'm just saying", it's all okay. Kind of like how they add "bless your heart" in the south to make anything fly, like "You are looking a little chubby, bless your heart".)

The J's said...

I just have to say I love Mhana almost as much as this blog. Frau, you are hilarious as well.

Brittny said...

Wow, I'd never heard of "Baby Sprinkles" before... but a quick google search showed me that apparently it's a HUGE trend. I don't know what more to say than, wow.

Jenny said...

After reading all these comments I am realizing how lame my friends and family really are. I only got showers for my first and nothing after that. Thanks for helping me realize what a frumpy life I live.
:(

Jennifer, Sunshine, Angel, Miss Thang, My Birdy (formerly Baby) said...

LOL, that's what I was told so I have only had one - I better not have been lied to!!!

Mrs.EBG said...

See, if you didn't already have a boy and a girl then I'd say shower away.... but you don't want to look too selfish... so I totally say a service shower is the way to go, Emily is right, they bring gifts anyways!

Kristi said...

Hellooooo - diaper showers! Doesn't sound glam but with all the $ others spend on you - you have plenty left to buy clothes that are actually worthy of the new lil one!

DIY REDS! said...

even if you don't get a shower you will get a push present. and the more kids you have the bigger the push present will be. i am for sure going to work my way up to a large blue box from tiffany's! and for the cute clothes for the kiddos (to keep them in style) that is what glamma is for.

Elsha said...

If you're in a GOOD ward you get a shower every time. {frownsmile}

Molly in the Jello Belt said...

Hmm, you could tell everyone your house caught on fire and selectively burned only the old, outdated, tacky baby stuff that A and T don't need anymore, so you need a shower to replace it all.

Or just have lots of visitors the first few weeks after the baby is born. Everyone who comes to see a new baby has to bring something! I live in Zion and I've noticed this. It's like a baby shower that lasts all month!

Laurie S. said...

Love it. Another dead-on post about Utah Mormon culture. How obnoxious is it when your sis-in-law whines her way into showers for all three of her pregnancies?

Kat Green said...

You could set a precedent, TAMN. Throw a bunch of showers for veteran moms in your ward, so they will owe you.

Bridget said...

Just had my second baby 5 days ago. No one even mentioned a shower :(

Erin said...

{frownsmile}
your GOOD friends do, the ones who always tell you how presh your twinsies look and how skinny you are and have you lost weight lately. They're always SUPER DUPER excited to hear your preggers, so I wouldn't worry a thing, because you can always jokingly/butseriously subtly threaten to not throw them showers or make them cute handmade cards with yor awesome scrapbooking skills ever again if they don't.

Melissa said...

Oh, I don't know... a lady in our ward had her 4th baby and everyone threw her a shower... I think if you have REAL friends, they'll do it for ya!

Misty said...

It used to be like that, but nowadays you get a shower for everychild you have, as well as every marriage. People are more open-minded now than they were ten years ago.

Little Lovables said...

a meet the baby is much more fashionable these days

Mel said...

I once mentioned that I was against showers for subsequent children on a certain popular scrapbooking message board and I got flamed by lots of perky little mommies who thought I must not believe each baby is a special, most precious gift to celebrate...
You should talk to them. I'll bet THEY'LL throw you a shower, Tamn.
Then again, I'm a mom of three boys who are all wearing hand-me-downs so what would I know? Gross, right? And SO tacky of me!

KathyD said...

Totally untrue, you just have to move state each time.

Eva said...

Yep, depend's on the Ward. I'm with Rachel above--we must be in the same town--b/c every baby gets a shower here in NH, CT, every baby is loved equally, right!? Otherwise those poor 3rd or 4th babies feel so shafted!

Kristine said...

the big gifts for weddings and 1st babies I get -- but on principle I def try to avoid the 2nds & 3rds showers -- although I'm in the small minority on this opinion, so I think you'll be fine down there in the Land of Materialism (utah).

ramsam said...

It is so totally fine to throw your own after the first pregnancy.
Plus it's better that way, you can make it like you really want it, and you don't have to pretend you are having fun sniffing candy bars in diapars. Open house...gift opening...all day.

Erin @ Thimble Ambitions said...

That's what I've heard...

Have JJWT throw a coed for you (his name as 'host' on the invite) but then you get to secretly be in charge of all the details. That's the only way it will end up perfect anyway. Then you can blog about how AMAZING your hubby is and everything.

momodafoxes4 said...

I got showers for my first three, then I moved here and had two more...no showers for either of them...*sigh* so sad! Guess I just wasn't righteous enough....

Madamemama said...

oooh...Erin is a genius

In a Bubble Bethany said...

TAMNER wow, let me just say, I luv luv LUV your blog! You made me want to start my own... I hope I can be JUST like you one day! Oh, and baby showers, my HOME ward throws a shower for EVERY baby that comes along. It's a ward shower, but that's better than nothing I guess...

Danielle Kuhns said...

not usually but...... move to a different ward so that they think your twinsies are adopted (so righteous and fullo service)and that this baby is your first. then you'll get a shower

brooke said...

Oh TAMN, you just have to move to Cali! Here not only do we give showers for EVERY baby (no joke, even someone having their FIFTH girl), we throw friend showers AND ward showers. That way everyone who isn't really your friend but occasionally sees you in RS still has to buy you a gift every 1.5 years (because the righteous have all their babies 1.5 years apart, right?)
So, seriously, move to the OC.

Gustogirl said...

One of the drawbacks of living in Zion I guess. I'm way more righteous and stronger, so we live out of state, where we can do more good. Both in Cali and Washington(yes, Edward territory!) gals are thrown a shower almost every time!

myimaginaryblog said...

I have learned so much from these comments.

Mhana said...

By the way, your dancing turkey in the nest is incredibly creepy.

Bevan said...

Why don't you set up a PO Box and have everyone mail you prezints?

Bevan said...

Why don't you set up a PO Box and have everyone mail you prezints?

paperhill said...

i only had one, even though i have three bambinos :)

Sarah said...

Probably depends on how much money people in your ward make.

Synergy Girl said...

That would suck to be true...for me...NO WAY!! We do a "girls night/baby shower" for anyone who is having a baby in our ward!! I just did one for a girl who was on #6...!! I am so gettin one for this one #5 too..!!! We don't ever tell anyone to bring gifts...but it always happens...!! You are havin a baby...I don't care what number it is...CELEBRATE IT!!

dharvey said...

That's correct, TAMN. No one will through you a shower for your second up too your tenth child. However, for the 11th child, the RS will take pithy on you and by you a gift card for WalMart. XOXO .

brossettelewis said...

BULL! I had a shower for my twins and they were #3&4. What you need to do is have an insane spirichul experience and mirikle babies like me. :)

Melissa said...

Just ask your Rs presidency to throw you one if no one volunteers. Be sure to give them a list of what you need and don't need.

Girlfriends Fit Clique said...

You are in the wrong WARD we here in cali throw them even for the 4th. If you have the 5th you are an over achiever you are on you OWN!!!!!

Fahrenheit 350° said...

I wouldn't know, and probably never will. I'm going to cry now.

Lyndsay said...

I know many, many women who have ignored the one shower rule. Don't let it stop you.

: ) Paula said...

Push present? Puh-lease!

Ali said...

If you move away from Zion you get a shower for each baby.

"We'll take good care of y'all here!" That's what the good sisters of my Southern ward told me here.