January 10, 2010

omgosh i'd rather have cancer.

They just put me and Lynzii as activity co-chairs.

Seriously?

71 comments:

Neil Hiatt said...

NO! But maybe she will share her Anthro discount now?

MamaBear said...

best. post. ever.

The Boob Nazi said...

Didn't you refuse?!?!?
I wouldn't/couldn't stand for it.

b. said...

I'm sure I'd you'd glam cancer too!

Mhana said...

This is a real opportunity for you to metastisize you're calling. LDS people often feel that in order to "sustain you in your calling" they have to go to "every crazy activity you dream up" Working with Lyndzii will be a fer serious boar chore so hear are some TiPz.
1) MAKE SURE YOU MC EVERY ACTIVITY. It will seem like you did all the work.
2) Make every activity way way more work than it needs to be. Think of this as another chance to do your wedding in various themes -- Pioneer Day, Earth Day, Easter, Fall Festival etc.
3) Because your neighborhood and your ward are two distinct groups make sure at every INFORMAL activity you might attend with friends you hype how important your OFFICIAL activity will be.

You should have made your acceptance conditional on Lyndzii not being called. Bishops love that. Make sure you're sustained in two separate votes, and that you get sustained first. That way she'll be all nice and sustain you, then you can raze your hand and tell the world through silent protest how totally awful the sitchy is. Good luck!

Katie said...

I used to get a chuckle out of your posts but I think this one was taking it a little too far. Better be careful what you wish for!

Ru said...

Duh, TAMN, it's a compliment. Activity's Chair = you're the funnest in the ward. Having Lynzi be your assistant = the bish needs you to fellowship her.

It's time to start praying that you can discover Lynzi's secret problems and lead her back to the path of righteous hotness.

Christin said...

Has the bishop been paying his tithing? How can you believe in this man's "inspiration" at this point. What a trial of faith TAMNers!

Janelle said...

Wait, didn't Lynzii just have triplets or something? So they put both of you in, when between the two of you, you have 5 kids under the age of 1? Someone wasn't thinking.

dharvey said...

Oh, TAMN, what a trail. Well, as they say, you can pray to love her. Endure to the end, my dear. Love you, XOXO.

Nahl said...

oh God. I read the title of the post and went like "WHAT could be that bad?".
Insensitive much?

Heather said...

HA!

The BEST calling. You throw huge parties and someone else pays for it!

You will rock thier world!

Heather said...

And after reading about Lynzii, I say Emrace your Similarities!!

Ewe can Do it!

Melinda in the Jello Belt said...

I always thought activity co-chairs were a husband/wife calling. Are you and JJWT having marital problems and you haven't blogged about them??!!

Anna M said...

little too far this time, imHUMBLEo

Kerry said...

This, with the title, made me laugh out loud. So accurate. TAMNs of the world are always comparing trivial things(no offense, sweetie) to, um, not so trivial things. Bravo.

kris said...

CO-chair? So one of you isn't even in CHARGE of the other? How will THAT work?

WAY worse than cancer, you're right.

Kristen said...

yikes. that cancer thing, not funny.

Cheri said...

You know, I was just thinking it had been too long since you pissed anybody off. Nice work.

jarom said...

TAMN... disappointed in you this time. I usually can't wait to read your posts, but you took this too far. Not cool. Not something you even joke about.

Sarahn said...

There's a line between sarcasm and outright disrespect. You just KNOW how to cross that line!

kris said...

OH MY GOSH!!! NOOOOO!!

This will only make you stronger.

Maybe you could forget to invite her to planning meetings??

Sarah said...

You pushed the envelope a bit too far on this post.

Valinda said...

You can just plan all of the activities behind her back with a special committee you make yourself. It's not your fault if she isn't as on the ball as you are!

JustMEtheMOM said...

Cancer might be a little dramatic! Hang in there - just plan something wild, crazy and off the charts - you'll get released before you know it :)

Kristin

Karen said...

divide the events. WRITE NOW!

Put her in charge of the frumpy ones

You do the fun/cute ones.

its the ONLY way.

telemoonfa said...

blogging on sunday i see.

frownsmile.

i also maybe would have considered blogging, but i guess i was just too busy attending church meetings, singing hymns to my children and making brownies in the shape of CTR to blog.

telemoonfa said...

there's only one thing to do, TAMNers!

MOVE!

your hottie rightchus self deserves a rightchus-er (bigger)house, anyway.

RaeLynn said...

Cancer? That hits too close to home for too many people...this post was crossing the line.

Cheri said...

Believe it or not, this is not that far off. I've seen blog posts like this. A gal I know (bless her heart, right?) recently said that having her husband in business school was so hard, she compared it to our other friend's M.S.

TAMN and friends trivialize things. The joke the author is making isn't about cancer, it's about TAMN thinking that something as stupid as a calling with someone you don't like is worse than a life-threatening illness. Of COURSE the comparison is absurd and offensive. That is the point.

I love this blog.

That is the end of my rant.

Trent!? said...

Co-chairs? But do you get a committee?

GladysIcanbee said...

wow, so sad on both accounts (the calling and who you get to co chair with.) another year, another trial.

Tiffany said...

I've seen something similar to this as well and I LOVE you TAMN for pointing out the ridiculousness of it.

Heather said...

Great post for two reasons:

1. Love the "they just put me . . .as . .." Hear that all the time.

2. The cancer thing. Ever since I had a family member die agonizingly and slowly of it, I am more sensitive about people's flippant cancer remarks. And that's why I like this post title! Doesn't offend me - the whole point is that people shouldn't say things like that, and maybe this will make us readers a little more aware of what we say, and how it could hurt someone.

Very good!

Kim said...

I understand where you were coming from in trying to make a joke. But to people that have watched someone go through the horror of cancer treatments and then lost them anyway, it isn't funny material no matter what your excuse is.

Especially when you see the button on your side bar of the little girl with cancer. I'm sorry, but this was just pushing it too far.

Frau said...

I wouldn't say this if I wasn't your friend, but you need to repent. Everyone knows that activities committee is where they put everyone who isn't actually spiritual. It's a great way to "give a responsibility" without ruining the ward by having the doubters, the slighly apathetic, or those with sad family situations actually participate. You probably need to take another 2 day break from blogging so you can focus on your fam, have an inspriation, blog about it, and have the bishop call you to YW. And then you will have the added bonus of being able to lecture Lynzii.

And pay no attention to the haters who tell you to "think out" how you phrase things. Hello? This is YOUR blog for YOUR thoughts and you should be able to say whatever you want without reprocussions.

Plus, why should we be the sensitive ones when there are so many insensitive cancer victims? First, um, what happened to positive thinking? Don't they realize that they CHOSE to be unhappy with their situation. They could be happy just as if they never had cancer if they really wanted to.

Second, haven't they heard that they're supposed to be thankful for their trials? I try and be thankful for my debt load, my car that is FOUR years old, and the bad cold I had. So the last thing I want to hear is someone who got a bigger trial than me being an ingrate if you know what I mean.

Third, don't you just hate it when they get so caught up in the treatments, the burning sensations, the nausea, the tiredness, the worry, the reconstructive surgeries that it's as if they don't notice that other people have problems too. When was the last time a cancer patient hugged TAMN, told her she was so brave, and brought HER a meal during all the trials she has blogged about? Exactly. Why should unselfishness only work one way?

2Che said...

Ditto was Cheri said. It's satire at it's best.

Tamara said...

I love how saying you would rather have cancer is "crossing the line" while no one bats an eye at you harboring ill will toward a sister in Christ. I guess that explains why "Thou shalt not exaggerate" is a greater commandment than "Love thy neighbor as thyself".

So sorry for you, TAMN. How on earth are you ever going to come to a consensus on glitter colors for the invites??

debbie said...

What a great calling! You can make all the announcements in R.S. and Priesthood and Young Women's meetings and Lynzii can do the Primary one. You can plan everything yourself and assign L. to do it all, then, if it flops, it can be blamed on her; if it rocks, it's due to your awesome vision of the calling. Win-win.

Little Lovables said...

some cancers are way popular though with cute feather boas and ribbons to wear!

anywho, you can be like Angela and Phyllis on the office, they always made it work out.

Sarah said...

Wow, is "I'd rather have cancer" that common a saying? Not a fan. But if it is, I can't blame you for putting that on this blog.

Who knows, maybe you and Lynzii will become bffs. *wicked snicker*

HeidyZane said...

Love Tamara's comment-AMEN Sister!!!

Kemi said...

Everyone assumes it was the Ward Activities Committee they were "called" to co-chair.

My guess? PRIMARY Activity Day co-chairs.

*tee hee*

rebekah said...

The crossing of the line is the point, people. It's not just for humor's sake. She's calling out all of the insensitive people who flippantly say that they'd rather have cancer than fill-in-the-blank. My mother suffered through breast cancer, and if I heard someone say what TAMN just did my response would be, 'Are you freaking kidding me?' I'm glad that someone else gets this.

e said...

I get that this blog is a joke, satire or whatever else people say. But just because it is supposed to be satire still doesn't make it "okay" to joke about things that are inappropriate.

I am 33 and have had cancer and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

It's just not even funny in satire.

Kristine said...

yep, I'm with TAMNers - she's harpooning people who use the phrase. And this from 2 immediate family members with cancer.

Kylie said...

TAMN doesn't "cross the line," she IS "the line."

If TAMN says it, does it, likes it; I make sure I don't.

Thanks for reminding me to not be critical of the Bishop or others in my ward, and to be sensitive to the serious trials that others face. All in a one sentence post!

TAMN is genius. I wish everyone in Zion read her and stopped doing stupid TAMNish things!

Shannon said...

Not kidding, I know someone who got pregnant after trying for 3 months and then cried and cried to her girlfriend about how it took her SO long to concieve so she doesn't even know if it's a "viable fetus" (yes, she used that phrase) and how this was such a trial for her family and she just wanted the baby to come so she could know everything was going to work out okay. Funny thing number one: there was no basis for her fear - nothing was wrong with the baby nor did any doctors ever act like anything was, she was just uber paranoid and dramatic. Funny thing number 2: the friend she was sobbing to was infertile, and upon FINALLY getting pregnant after years of trying, lost the baby. How does the story end? Girl one has the baby who is totally fine (second child p.s.). She got told off by girl number 2 for being self absorbed and insensitive - they are no longer friends. Girl one actually to this day thinks it is girl #2's fault for overreacting. This is a for real true story. Thanks for calling out these idiots who can't see past themselves. Not crossing the line at all - just calling people out.

Candice said...

the cancer comment was below the belt...

Miss Kendra said...

Love Glee!!!

Brooke said...

Easy peasy, TAMNers: just try to make sure you're put in charge of the Christmas, Halloween, and V-Day activities, while she gets stuck with the Emergency Preparedness Fair and the handcart reenactment for Pioneer Day.

Super L said...

bravissimo.

Katie said...

Maybe it's so you guys can like, become best friends and overcome your differences!

Annie said...

The bishop totally did it so that Lynzii could learn from your example. Think of this as a teaching experience. I'm praying for you!

Salt H2O said...

Don't have a title that scares me like that!

I was worried you broke 105 lbs.

The Prude said...

omg! you are ridiculous! do you really know people like this?! it's sick.

Allison Stuart said...

Cancer is not fun but I bet you'd prefer a broken big toe instead because that's just ridiculous!

Sarah said...

You guys, TAMN is a parody of dorks who actually compare way, way, way lesser trials to cancer. Thankfully I've only known a couple of people that insensitive who are for real. I know a woman who said to a woman who was a cancer survivor, "I wish I had cancer. THEN maybe people would understand!" She's on a constant quest to convince people she has it so rough, she needs x, y, and z. She said her experience is worse than cancer, which is ridiculous because she has never had it. How would she know? Sure, she struggles, but she has never faced losing her life.

TAMN, it's obvious someone wants you and Lynzii to be BFF. (Sorry I had to be serious for a moment.)

JenB said...

TAMN! You facebooked about the color of your bra so you WOULDN'T get cancer. Duh!

Kristina said...

Hmmmm... cancer? Really? Couldn't it have been something a little more TAMN to worry about... like split ends? Too close to home for too many.

Little Lovables said...

oh., and ps. my dad died from cancer, a slow and agonizing death that made him blind, disfigured, frail, couldn't eat, talk, walk in constant CONSTANT pain... I watched him slowly die over the entire course of my life from when I was an infant.

When he died, people said crap like "oh, I couldn't make it to the funeral b/c of a hair appointment, that I waited 6 WHOLE MONTHS to get"

I hear these comments in testimony meeting that such and so person had the flu for 3 days and it was the worst trial ever and blah blah blah, then I want to go and punch them in the face.

So, TAMN... I THANK you for this post. Maybe it will make people second think *for once*.

luv u

brossettelewis said...

Janelle, they do...and then act all skeeved when you are setting up chairs while nursing while they pop in to see how things are going.

umm and yes there are people that flippant say to the person w/ cancer " I wish I was the one w/ cancer so I'd......", thanks TAMN for making it a part of your personality to STILL NOT GET how horrible CANCER is compared to your posh life.

Fancy Nancy Chronicles said...

Love your blog ... didn't love this post.

Simply stated ... not much humor in cancer.

Lizzen said...

TAMN, isn't that a calling for less-active people? Is there something you're not telling us sweetie?

Melinda said...

I loved every part of this post. The best part is reading all of the comments! OMGosh....I was smiling all the way until the last one.
Where have people sense of humors gone...
Life Healthy or Not should be a wonderful journey to learn, live and laugh from! I will love her blog for as long as she keeps posting. Why? because we all need a little laugh once in a while! Lighten up folks! Lighten up!

What a life!! said...

I love your post TAMN, but call my mom and ask her if it's worse than cancer....seriously?

madamemama said...

Why do people read this blog if they are going to be so offended everytime she mentions anything related to their real lives? Even if she is actually on their side and mocking the people who are truly insensitive.
I really don't get it.

: ) Paula said...

Amen, Kylie.

It's about perspective of the reader. When TAMN blogged about seeing someone wearing shoes instead of boots this winter, did readers go put on boots, or did we keep wearing shoes? Pretty sure TAMN's creator wants us all to just keep wearing those shoes (and, in this post, be more sensitive about cancer comments).

Reading TAMN's thoughts should help us control our own {me, me, me, I must fit in} thoughts.

~ Just sayin'~

Girl of Many Words said...

cancer sucks! I wouldn't wish it upon my enemy. It realy isn't something you can laugh your way through.

Ash said...

Wow. Some people "get" your blog like my grandma "gets" The Office. Thanks for making me OVERthink everything I ever blog about :)

Megan said...

seriously, so offensive.