May 7, 2010

akward

Sooooo now that Yvette is all serious and boring on her mission in Russia, I'm trying to reach out to all the spinsties I see so they have at least one friend and more of a reason to get out of bed in the morning you know? So today shopping at Banana I ran into this single girl, she seriously has a job and everything, and for service I was like "Hi! Sorry in advance about Sunday! We'll miss you!" She was all, "What?" and I was like, "When your not there at church on Sunday, we'll miss you." She was all, "What? I'll be there," and I touched her hairy arm all concerned and was like "Really? That is so brave of you, showing up even on MOTHERS day!"

She is so strong! Isn't that so amazing???

I thought she would think how selfless I was for being all nice but she got super groutchy and was like "You know, as a matter of fact I like Mother's Day, and I have a great mom," and it almost made me cry how cute she was, trying to pretend it's about HAVING one instead of BEING one. Isn't that so brave??

44 comments:

Ashley is Blogalicious! said...

I am taking this post as a get out of church free card.

KW said...

oh my word, this is quite possibly my favorite entry in a while! love you TAMN.

Randi said...

So brave!! Sweet of you to reach out to her.

Lindsay Maxfield said...

YOU are so brave for touching her hairy arm!

Brock said...

"I touched her hairy arm all concerned." Hilarious

Deborah said...

hysterically brutal.

Foxy said...

Bahahaha! Aw, your (or you're) such a DOLL when you're serving passive aggressively. LOVES <3 (just fyi, I hate the <3 heart thingy...but I love your blog).

Jennie said...

I know what you mean. I like to provide service along with the rest of my ward by all staring at the few single ladies in our ward when it is time for us to stand up at the end of Sacrament and get our chocolates/corsages/gifts. Will they stand up or not? I think our staring helps make their decision much easier.

Jean said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love this one.

The Haights said...

She is SO brave! Good for you for pointing out how brave she is to her face!

triciathomas said...

TAMN I am glad at least you understand what mother's day is all about!!! I totally wish you had posted a list of all of the things you wanted so I could copy you!!! I guess I will try and think of some things on my own!

Brianne said...

I'm so glad that you know how hard it is for her, and that you can look past her singleness to let her know you're there for her. That is so precious, her being so strong...and you being willing to touch her hairy arm to let her know how much you care, that just makes me cry...

(I'll continue simpering about this for as long as I can stomach it, but I don't know how much longer that'll be)

Anon said...

TAMN, I love reading your blog. I have an anonymous blog that I want people to read and share their thoughts on, but I need your advice. What's the best way to publicize your blog when you want to keep it anonymous?

Science Teacher Mommy said...

Oh, TAMN, YOU are the brave one. I can't believe you dare publish this blog. ;)

Mhana said...

Wow. Totes had a fight with hubbylover over this. I asked if I was getting any recognition in the form of chocolate as the future mother of his children. He said no. I said "what if I'm barren? Will you NEVER give me chocolate?" He said you can be a mother without giving birth to children. So then I said if thats true and what the ladies in Women's general conference say is true then I have a mothering heart and should get chocolate for all the caring and nurturing I do. He was unmoved.

It does raise an interesting question though. Our ward is canceling the second hour and having men teach all the auxiliaries so all the women can join together for RS in a beautiful ovarian festival. But I don't have children and according to Hubbybuns do not get honored on mother's day. Should I therefore insist on teaching my sunday school lesson to the wall and sit alone for a third hour with no one there? BEcause as a non-mother, should I get the perks of being a mother? Serious dilem. your such a giver

theferrisoneofall said...

Holy Cow! I thought your last post was my new fav!! It got trumped fast! Love it!

Whitney said...

My husband gets me flowers from the dogs. So there.

Aaron & Ashley Gilbert said...

I am SOOO not going to church on Sunday now. Thnx for the okay! Your the bestest Mommy in the whole freaking world like def the best ever!

debbie said...

Your poll on the sidebar (abt. gifts for Mother's Day) reminded me that I need to do something for my mom. I think I will call her and let HER talk part of the time we're on the phone. She'll be sooo glad that she gave birth to me,even more than she is about my other siblings. I love being able to think of ways to be the favorite!

jdb in AZ said...

Our ward asked a 40-something spinsty to speak on Mother's Day -- the Bishopric didn't want to ask any mothers to speak on their special day.

All the sermons about too-perfect-to-be-real moms -- even you would pale in comparison -- and the tenor who screeches out "That Wonderful Mother of Mine" == I've been boycotting church on Mother's Day church for years now. (But I still accept prezzies. after all.) My husband teases me about missing out on the chocolate, but I'm quick to point out I can go buy my own candy, thank you very much, and get my fave brand.

Kamity said...

Wow. I nearly had a heart attack reading this entry. You've still got it, TAMN!!

Sarah said...

It's so crazy that you always have these {AwKwArD situashuns}!!! It's weird that all these people are {SeW rUdE} around you and have no clue about whats appropriate! It's like their drawn towards you! I wonder if it's your hawt richusness or you're brutal honesty.

I wonder what she's going to do when they give the cookies out. Make sure you give her a pity pout either way. That'll make everything better. People love sympathy from people they don't know at all for things they might not even be upset about. Trust me.

Heart Mommy said...

wow!!! SHE is so brave...I do need to point out that us infertills do want you to point to your darling duo and have you offer to share one, after all it would only make you more right-ous. This takes the sting out and lets us know you really do care...

Jessica said...

You make me happy.

Seriously.

Clint Emmett said...

Seriously....sooooo funny! hahahahahaha! Love it. My wife and I are in stitches with each new post!

GladysIcanbee said...

Speaking as a formerly hairy-armed spinsty who is now a richus fertilegrounded woman of Zion, I would prefer a get out of church free card on my special day rather than hearing snoozer talks about being a woman of Isreal, getting an almost dead flower and having to pretend is a special day. Please, hubby buns can take the kids to church and let me get some much needed rest.Without it, I won't be strengthened enough to serve or sharp enough to judge in righteousness. Thank you for your brave example.

Frau said...

TAMN, you can't stop there.

Make sure you go up to them on Sunday, with your little twinsies, and tell them that you know how hard it is because you have infertilities.

But then point out that you have it so much worse than they do because you can't have kids - like them - but you also have to have the trial of two babies at once.

Infertile people who can have babies have it so much worse than the barren ones because they really know what they're missing.

jaysbunny said...

Sorry TAMN, but no one can match the service of the 2nd counselor in my BYU singles ward who used fast sunday to bear testimony of how wonderful it was that so many members of the ward were getting married.

LauraLuv said...

LOL @ Get out of church free card!!!

Mike and Kira said...

Loved this!

Hands said...

So good to hear you're compassionatly "servicing" all the single ladies. Categorically speaking, that makes you & Beyonsay on the same par for the course. What a champ!

When you mentioned the hairy arm I thought of the gays and how I try not to make eye contact but I'm starting to feel bad that they don't get to see the sweet side of my spirit. WWTD? Cuz I seriously look up to you... and they have hairy arms too.

Becky said...

O dear, this entry had a little sting to it. Brutal, TAMN. Happy Mother's Day.

Little Lovables said...

next time, carry a hair wax strip so when you pull your hand back, a strip of hair will come off! active charity right there.

Lynette @ My Craft Discovery said...

That post pretty much made my day.

Lisa said...

I'm a little more worried about the hairy arms than the Mother's Day issue.... LOL

: ) Paula said...

I know this is a satire, but the comments make me wonder why so many women sport a negative attitude about a holiday that celebrates women. Why all the drama, gals? Seriously. Moms are nifty.

It's the thought that counts. Freebies at church: How nice! Period.

Jill said...

I enter every time... I reely think it's my turn to win!

Rebecca said...

Haha. You are so mean.

Anonymous said...

I just want to know when Mother's day will be about me for a change. I spent my mother's day weekend in the car for 6 hours to see my mom and make it back to church on Sunday for my chocolate, only to go over to the MIL's house when all I really wanted was a nap. I did get some really cute clothes as presents from the hubby and kids, so that was good, and some babysitting from my mom.

marissa said...

Were you one of the people who came through my line (I know I'm horrible for having to work on Sunday-there were quite a few saints in cute church clothes) and asked me if I had children, and then gave me a pity smile when I said no? I knew it!

Anonymous said...

To the anon who wants to celebrate Mother's Day her way: hubs used to take me out on Sat nite, then saved Sun for his mom and extended family. His bro hosted dinner. (partly cuz his wife is a lousy cook.) One year the bro called and asked me what I was fixing for mother's day dinner. At which time I informed him I don't cook on mother's day. Hubs accepted his assignment (and bought pies and other pre-fab food.) My own mother and I do best to ignore each other. But that's a whole other soap opera.

My mother-in-law recently passed on, and now I can be just as lazy on the pseudo-holiday as I want.

nikki said...

As a spinstie....I skipped!!

Trent!? said...

this made me laugh out loud. You've still got it.

Julie de Azevedo Hanks said...

She thinks it's about HAVING a mother instead of BEING one. Genius! I love you TAMN.

And hugs for putting my "Masterpiece" cd on your bloggie & giveaway! It's the perfect music for the hot AND righteous!