July 10, 2010

unexceptable

Guys, since your all my e-BFFs I'm going to go ahead and assume you know what today is.

MY ANNIVERSARY!

Just for recaps, this is MY day to celebrate my bride day and talk all about when I was all bridal and when I got married and when I felt like a princess and how MY dress was the darlingest anyone'd ever saw and think about how people gave ME gifts chosen by ME off MY registry, it's a day when people remind ME how much they loved MY wedding, I look at wall-size pitchers of ME and think about ME and watch MY wedding video and remember the fourteen showers thrown for ME and to choose where my AngelCakes takes ME for MY romantic dinner and choose where I go for MY anniversary trip, my spa day, my massage, MY cruise.

People congratulate ME.

I swear I'm not being a brat just stating the facts. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

So, on what planet would SOMEONE think it was ok to have her baby on MY day???

55 comments:

Megan said...

Uh-oh, TAMN. Did Ruth have the gawl to go into labor. Soooo selfish.

Heather said...

On your day! Thats like someone you don't like having a baby in your birthday month... GASP!

Allison said...

Bahahaha Please tell me Ruth did not DARE to do such a horrid thing?! That's just sad. How are you supposed to compete with the first year bday party next year??? Ugh, you'll probably have to plan it for Ruth since she's prob not into trendz like that. Good luck focusing on YOU for once!

Kathryn said...

On no planet at all, dear TAMN. They promise to put that baby right back where it came from and have it next month some time. Don't worry.

hairyshoefairy said...

Brilliant! Just when I think it can't get any better. . .

j and s (but mainly s) said...

OMG. NO WAY.

And I bet she named the baby some boring Bible name.

Ugh.

Kemi said...

Oh, Ruth, you clever, clever girl.

Amber said...

I think I know the girl that wrote this

Amy said...

You are SO. SELFLISS. Love it.

Stephanie M Larsen said...

Well, Happiest "Me" day to you, as you remember your Bridal Bliss, and look at guynormous pix of your cute self in your cute bridal garb!

PS. How do I email you? I have a question for yous. Be my best e-BFF and contact me at: stephhhead at yahoo dot com

Laura said...

Oh, did Ruth have her baby today? Was it spontaneous or was she induced/sectioned?

Erin said...

Hahahahahahaha!
Best laugh I've had all day!
The NERVE!

Anonymous said...

Did Ruth have a boy or girl?

Tricia said...

I can't believe ruth would do this to you! the HORROR.

she's probly all trying to git back @ u for being so richus-judgy about her frumpy wedding. she's all, "i will just do my prego-yoga on my birthball with my midwife and pop that baby right out on HER anniversary".

it's ok, she will get hers in the next life....because we all know that pre-meditated sin is way worse than accidental. and don't think for one minute that this "birthday coincidents" isn't pre-meditated!

Ru said...

Wait ... you got married in July?

Gross.

(Just sayin.)

Madame Palmkey said...

Ew. Who had the awedacity? I hope they at least name their child after you. Honestly you'd think these prego women could just learn to HOLD IT IN or something like the rest of us when we were potty trained at 3 (or 2 months, in your sweetie's' case.

Cannwin said...

lol, the day I got married MY husband took ME over to his brothers house to play Dungeons & Dragons.... I was mortified, so were they. He was oblivious.

Grandma Cebe said...

I would guess that it's your frumpy SIL Ruth. What on earth was she thinking? She couldn't wait until tomorrow or better yet, next week?

MamaBear said...

don't tell me - it was Lynzii! you just didn't mention she was preggers again bacuzz she beat you to it, (after suffering infertilities) and had already HAD triplets and everything.

iluve2h8LynziiwithU!

La Yen said...

Ruth has GOT to go. I can't believe the insensitivity of some people.

Janine said...

Ack! Don't tell me the frump-bump RUTH had her baby. Soooo not cool! hang in there, TAMN, your trails will end soon.

Dee said...

Who would dare to do such a thing?!

Johnsons said...

I mean Ruth.

Johnsons said...

Yvette?

Johnsons said...

Yvette?

Mother in Zion said...

Oh no she di-nt! Some people are sooo selfish. I mean, really. She'll try to upstage you every year now with a BIRTHDAY. The nerve.

Brooke said...

Are you going to keep with tradition and give Ruth a giant box of Costco lettuce for her postpartum dinner? Love service!

Maddy said...

ruh-roh shaggy!

Little GrumpyAngel said...

I sympathize. Totally. But why did you get married in July? :-(

Christin said...

Please tell me that some righteous inspired bishop took away her recommend. PA-LEEZ!

dancingqueen97 said...

oh your not being bratty at all!!! its your special day and it should be ALL ABOUT YOU! and who do they think they are having a baby on YOUR day??? how selfish!

Julie said...

First time reader here. This is hysterical. My daughter told me about it. Love the "pitchers" reference and the constant adherence to misuse of your and you're. Your priceless!

Leah Rimsey said...

That is an awesome looking post with all the ME, MY, and I's in large font like that. Thanks for being so unselfish to take the time to do this for us.

Annie said...

Ya know what's worse? Your BIL deciding to get MARRIED on your 9th Anniversary. Been there done that - RUDE people are such downers!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you wrote this post because I think I would have forgotten about my anniversary next week, because I was all distracted trying to plan my two sons' upcoming birthdays and figure out how to sandwich a family vacation in between all the other things going on this summer. Actually I think you're the one who reminded me about my anniversary last year, too. It's becoming a tradition! Thank you!

Oh, and sorry your day got runed. At least you'll always have a good excuse to miss the boring birthday party's ('cuz you'll be on you're anniversary trips).

Elizabeth Downie said...

haha! Ok, so I know I've said this before... I totally get it that this blog is satire but what scares me is to think that you were inspired by a real person when you wrote this. Are there really people like this? Please say no!

Kristen said...

I was trying rilly hard to think all about YOU today, but MY anniversary is tomorrow, so I was working on getting out of my AngelBabe what he was getting me. But then I read YOUR blog and felt so selfish for only thinking of MYSELF during this anniversary weekend. I'll repent now =D
By the way, July Brides rock!

Emily said...

Don't worry, TAMN, I've got just the salushion for you. Ask them to change the baby's birthday! It's not like Rush is going to throw darling Bday parties anyway. Tell her August babies get to start school early or something. Ruth would like that.

Monica said...

She did NOT! How could she DO that? I would call a alwyer and tell her she needs to have the b-date legally changed on the birth certificate. Just sayin'...

erica said...

I thought june was the month for weddings. sad.

erica said...

married in July? sad.

Frau said...

You know TAMN, this just shows that she's a jealous hater. I mean, it was rude of her to get pregnant at all when you were infertile.

All the red flags were there and now she's shown that she can't just grow up and think of someone besides herself.

I know people are going to tell you to be the bigger person. With all her friends at Dental/Med/Biz/Law school she probably can't find a mature influence. If you want to make her the "pity friend" among your girlfriends, that would be very big of you.

But some hurts are just too deep to get over. I suggest you cut her off completely. But don't tell anyone what you are doing or why because they should figure it out for themselves. If JJWT asks you to go to visit, just sob uncontrollably and pout. Keep it up until they apologize, place the baby for adoption, and start celebrating your half-anniversary as well.

Unknown said...

TAMN, I thought you said May/June was the ONLY time to get married?

Token Asian Friend said...

TAMN, This could be a win-win-win. You just keep booking those anniversary trips every year and tell Ruth that your gift to her precious little one is some quality time with her AWESOME cousins. You and JJWT get alone time (win!), Ruth gets to babysit (win-for her!), and her kid learns how to be a total stud/princess from Livs and Tridge (win!)!

GladysIcanbe! said...

My SIL did that too, its simply uneggseptible and you have to take a stand. They can simply celebrate there poor babys birthday a day later. But look at me, I'm making this post about her and not you! Happy MEEEEEEEEEEE day! Do you wear your most darlingest bridal day dress ever around the house just cuz you can? Well, you can if you had it taken if after the twinners.

Laura said...

And you know what's worse? My mom was born on her parents' first wedding anniversary! Imagine spending your luxuriously planned anniversary in the hospital giving birth! But knowing you, you would probably change the birthday anyway ;)

Nancy said...

i'm actually uber annoyed that your anniversary is the same as mine. since it's really my day about ME. not TAMN. ME.

Tracy said...

That evil Ruth! She's such a frump on purpose I think, making it seem like she's all dowdy and you just don't think anything at about her really and then WHAM! She totally steals your thunder. It's all an evil plot. Since she'll never be as fab as you she plays dirty.

CK said...

YAY! How Cool! Happy YOU day!

Anna said...

Bahaha I love how people really ask for pregnant women to 'hold off' or 'wait' to have their babies for XYZ reasons. Really TAMN, she should have checked her calendar at least a year in advance before they started to even think about conception. The nerve some people have....

Laura said...

hopefully jjwt relizes that it's your anniversary, and you can post all the pics of everything he bought you and did for you, earning him 'best hubby of the year' award! and I'm just going to ignore that last little bit about someone giving birth b/c that is exactly what you ought to do - ignore it. don't visit, don't call and don't be happy for her. it's YOUR anniversary. ps-that poor baby :( has frumpydump mama.

Laura said...

and... you haven't blogged in forever!! don't you know it's your duty to post pics while you're on your amazing anniversary getaway so that we are all jealous as it's happening!!!!

Anonymous said...

I bet she had her baby all natural just to make you look like a druggy mama. And on YOUR Day! Tell her that you will pray that she will pray for forgiveness.

Laurie S said...

". . . when I was all bridal . . ."

Hee hee. How about, "all postal. . . "

Pretty much the same thing for you, Princess Tamn.

Katie said...

Too bad your wedding dress is so 3 years ago now.