November 19, 2010

you're emails: from TAMN's inbox, part 6 or something


As always, these emells are 100% real.

HOW COME PPL SEND ME MEAN EMAILS WHEN I'M PREGGO??? I mean, honestly, if you don't love something, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

Unless your me in which case it is NOT being mean, I just call it like I see it so it's more like open and authentic, not a meanie. But Seriously, get a load a these meanies, and to a darling preggo no less!

I don't know you but I can't resist chiming in, since besides being 2 obnoxious things -- skinny and selfish -- on top of that you are guilty of one of my biggest pet peeves: the term is pregnant. Not preggy. Not preggo. Not preggers. PREG. NANT. Is it that hard? You are not five. STOP SAYING PREGGO.

{gasp of hore} Honestly? Want to know of MY pep peeves? People who DON'T say preggo. Seriously, the term "pregnant" is only used by frumpagrumps. I am darling and there for I say preggers or preggo, end of story.

PREGGO PREGGO PREGGO.


What is wrong with you? Endangering your unborn by doing a cleanse while pregnant? Don't want to be a helicopter so you don't discipline your kids and let them run around doing dangerous things and endangering the property of others? Stealing by pretending to buy stuff for some club decorations for a party then keeping it yourself? Have you been tested for a mental disorder? Seriously?

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Defiantly just jealous you didn't think of all those awesome idizz first, huh? Maybe I should offer her a dill on the essential oils I just started selling, to help her destress.

No offense but the only people who are against cleanses are tubbalards, and it's not that I don't discipline, its just that
my babies need freedom to discover boundaries.

78 comments:

TJ said...

Sometimes I come to your site just to listen to Justin Bieber.

Anna said...

It's astounding people think this blog is real. Rather, that some are so quick to judge and correct they don't take the time to see how OBVIOUS this blog is satire. Joke's on them, eh TAMN? ;)

Anna said...

Side note, I can't access the Bible Cats links.... some error page comes up, both the sidebar one and the one in the giveaway post.

Jules said...

Oh, these are always my favorite! People who actually think this is REAL. And by golly they're going to take a STAND!

Carter Family said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this blog!!!

Mackenzie said...

MORE EMAILS!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!

yours truly dear said...

as always, love these emails :]

LanaBanana said...

Too good. I love these ranty emails. I can't imagine how many you get. Don't cry TAMN, some people just don't get you. Or jokes.

Christin said...

Oh my heck I just peed my pants a little bit. After two sets of twins I can't control my bladder any more. HA HA HA!

Salt H2O said...

S top
A ttacking
T amn
I n
R idiculous
E mails

Stefanie said...

I seriously hope no one sends you anymore meanie e-mails. Being preggers makes you even more amotional. You shouldn't have to deel with that kind of crud! Some people need to spend a little more time trying to look darling, and a little less time hating!

: ) Paula said...

I'm jealous. I open my inbox daily hoping that maybe someday someone will send an e-mail that begs the reply:

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame."

You're one lucky woman, you know that?

Meg said...

OMG! Some of your readers are so RUDE! Seriously, you are only living your life as you see fit. Go ahead and live your "way awesome life"! People need to butt out!!!

Rebecca said...

frumpagrumps is the best word you have ever made up!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!

Becky A said...

ok, I LOVE that you sell essential oils.

M & G said...

TAMNNNN you cute little preggo preggers preggy you!
Don't listen to the frumpagrumps, their just jelos your life is perfect and you have the most gorgeous kids in the universe. Which by the way we need to see more pictures off!! preferebly with the crazy looking eyes, giant headbands, and adorned like a christmas tree.


elshipps.blogspot.com

Jackie said...

Man, I usually make sure I read all the way through a blog before I send scathing e-mails!

noelle said...

HOW do people still not know or quickly realize if they've stumbled upon SSB for the first time that it's satire? For the love...

myimaginaryblog said...

What about "bun in the oven"? Is that too dated?

Also, not sure if you've already started writing the next Twilight-type runaway bestseller (it's not too late sense there's stell more than a week left in November) but these writing tips might help. Not that you need it.

Caroline said...

I can hardly believe there are people who STILL don't understand TAMN.

Motion DeSmiths said...

Gasp of hore. Sounds like something you'd need for potions class. OMG I LOVE HARRY POTTTER1

Mhana said...

My friend has a coworker who is preggers who is drinking wine because she wants her baby to appreciate the finer things. What are you doing to teach your child the finer things?

Ginger said...

As always, hilarious. Thanks.

sharon. said...

Ha ha ha. Great post. Made me LOL :)

Aloicoius said...

Tubbalards. I love you TAMN!

heather said...

i thought preggo was a spaghetti sauce?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh! I needed it today! I think your blog is hilarious! And it's even more funny that some people take it so seriously. Keep it up! :)

mindy said...

my goodness, you just never disappoint, tamn. Happy tg next week. can't wait to see all the outrageous over the top decorations you'll do for a dinner!!

Erica said...

Oh, I needed a good laugh. Thank you!!!!!!!


Apparently their mother never told them "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all". Shame on them

Brooke said...

Essential oils. That's all I have to say.

Cammee said...

This made my day!

Court and Jill said...

Can these people be for real?? Laaaaaaaaaaame :)

Dorothy said...

So that's how I teach my daughters boundaries! Freedom! TAMN, you're a genius! How do you learn these amazing things?

Jensen said...

They're not just frumpagrumps...They are probably preggofrumps meaning that they are not emanating darling preggo cuteness...just smile and ignore.

Steph said...

Love the reader mail!

Shannon said...

I love that being skinny the equivalent of being obnoxious. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Anonymous said...

I really, really love that your blog is trying to teach people not to be so judgmental and people completely miss it. If you were real and I wanted to waste my time sending a scathing, judgmental email meant to make you realize how judgmental and awful you are, I would not spend my time telling you stop using the word preggo.

Lisa said...

bahahaha! you need to do this more often.

Rebecca said...

These posts are my absolute fave TAMN! Thx for making me LOL! :)

Garrett said...

While you're answering questions, I have one of my own. I don't believe you've ever stated your last name. Is it because you have an embarrassing last name like Bytheway?

Also, what do you think about hyphenated last names. Do they show that you are intellectual and independent, or are they anti-proc?

Anonymous said...

oh my hell...I laughed so hard...i peed, hey that means I'm cleansed too!!

Jamie said...

WOW. People are ridiculous! Hahaha great post :)

Mrs. Clark said...

The second emailer must not understand the Plan.

Love you, TAMN! Keep 'em coming!

debbie said...

Please please please only just sell the essential oils. Don't actually use them. You'll smell like Grandma's arthritis rub if you do. And we all know TAMN should smell like Victoria's Secret, not Ben-Gay!

Sara said...

WHAAAAAT???!!!!
This blog is not for reals??????????????????????????

Steph said...

Why do people seriosly fill like they need to tare down other people who are better than them?

Haters!

Laurel said...

Wow - good to know it's obnoxious to be skinny. ;)

Allison Stuart said...

My question is who says PREG. NANT. ?
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!

Mortons said...

I love it. My sister in law was talking about your blog. "You know your one friend with the twins. Tami or something...she is kind of weird." No, Megan, Tamn isn't real. I died laughing!

Anonymous said...

I've been ginormously fascinated by your blog and your darling floating phoetos for months! Thanks for blogging - your so talented a humorist that it's almost scary.

Kind regards from Austria!

Mrs. DoNoRong said...

Tamners, hunny dumplin'...don't worry urself @ the emellers who just don't get it. They just wish they could be u, bc ur enjoying ur life here with JJWT and ur gorguz babies. Some people are just not as fortunut as u and me and are resined to be bitter ole' cusses. Remember them in ur prayrs that they will 'git a grip.' U just keep bein' ur kute pregger self!

Frau said...

Um hello???? I hate to sound all smart and stuff but anyone who really cares about the children will have heard about the latest study where they found that girls who use preggo as an excuse to go tubbalardy have fatso kids.

I mean, how much worse could it get?

Hanz said...

I pee my pants every time I read your blog! Keep it up, don't let those haters bring ya down with their passive aggressive hatin' emails! :) Love it!!

Julie said...

Oh TAMN,
I thought that EVERYone knew that if you do the preggo cleanse that your baby(s) come out all cute and purrfect instead of goey and purple. Ewwwww. And for the meanine who called you "2 obnoxious things -- skinny and selfish" HAHAHAHAHA....didn't she see your FABULOUS GIVE-A-Way? Giving away super cool prizes is SO SELFISH. I wish I could be as selfish and for that matter as skinny as you too : )
PS. LOVE THE
S.A.T.I.R.E. SaltH20.

CoxSquared said...

Jealousy is delish. : )

Stephanie said...

my greatest pep peev is people who separate words with randomly placed periods. Preg.nant. La.me. Du.h. Lay off our eBFF, hate.rs. Pep Peeve, haha!!

Mrs.EBG said...

Just so you know, my sister and I both firmly believe it's only stealing if it's over a certain dollar amount, if it's under the set amount then it's just getting back what the store owes you for shopping there. Love that you are preggo and cleansing! You're the best, TAMN!

Anonymous said...

I have a hunch that the "haters" are feeling like your blog sounds a little TOO much like their real lives... Takes one to hate one... Or something like that... Luv U!

Little Lovables said...

so fun! they must be the same people who think that oprah's egyptian tomb from The Onion is fur rellz too!

Anonymous said...

I think only gasps of hores use exsential oils. Gasps of hores are big groups of immodistly dressed women, right?

Anna said...

::peeking in for one final comment::

Can you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez not have Bieber at the top of your playlist anymore? Please?!! kthxbye

Sarah said...

I am so in love with this post. I think I'm going to marry it.

Charly said...

Yes, RUTHs, there is a TAMN. She exists as certainly as mani-pedis and Rio runs and activities committees (sniff) exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and sassiness. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no TAMNs. There would be no pictures of mundane household objects with words photoshopped over them then, no paeans to Anthro, no Glee blasting on a playlist to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in getting our own hubbies to hand over the plastic.. The eternal light with which Utah wifehood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in TAMN! You might as well not believe in "blogging-is-my journal"! Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unblogged and unbloggable in the world.

P said...

YOU are amazing. What a rare talent. If I need something to lighten my day -- this is where I come.

Mhana said...

Seriously, so sad that you're caught in a bad romance. Maybe your ward offers the "strenghthening your marriage" Sunday School class.

jdb in AZ said...

Uhm, Justin Beeber won all those awards last night and you remooved him from the top of your play list? whazzup with that? Is he being punished?

Anonymous said...

gasp of hore.

Caroline said...

What?!? Oprah doesn't have an Egyptian TOOOM???

Caroline said...

What?!? Oprah doesn't have an Egyptian TOOOM???

Tawny Crane said...

I have to say I come to your blog to listen to Justin Bieber too, but I really only liked the first part of the song so I'd always refresh the page. Noticed you changed it not sure why I doubted, but if any one could top it it would be Lady GAGA's bad romance. Although she dresses like a skank.

Meg and Joe said...

I know this blog is satire, but there is a REAL LIFE TAMN in my ward. She keeps sending all of us girls e-mails that are like these blog posts. At first I thought it was my sister playing a joke on me, but then I met the REAL girl in my ward. When I first started reading this blog I thought it was really funny but not realistic. That was before I met my neighborhood TAMN.

Mills said...

Skinny and selfish. lol. Those ARE two obnoxious things.
PREGGO PREGGO PREGGO.
I wonder if she's going to see this post and diss futher. Please keep us updated if she does.
Also, for a most excellent version of Bad Romance, being sung brilliantly by grown men, check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTFh8LCBZeQ

american honey said...

their just haters. prolly just bitter about being fat and ugly too. eww.

Julie said...

I love the emails. SO funny! They don't even know you and they are trashing. That is a sad story. Love people! We all need to give a little more of it. Thanks for making me laugh.

Janee said...

They're just jealous TAMN! Honestly, I don't understand how some people still don't get you or your blog!

Sarra said...

I laughed so hard at your response to the pregnant vs. preggo email! You really crack me up and I love reading your blog!! :D

Jen said...

This is my favorite feature you do.

Luna Selena said...

I'm new to your blog and love it already. I just wanted to pass along that nobody says "kids" anymore. They are now referred to as "the kiddos".