September 26, 2008

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Kirby Heyborne Edition

Token Asian Friend asked, "If your life were made into a Halestorm movie, what role would Kirby Heybourne play?"

(wistful sigh) Biggest no-brainer EVER, and seriously perfect for Flashback Friday...the Kirbs would def play Blake, my ex-fiance Ryan's older brother who made out w/ me (wholesomely) the day after I called off Ryan and me's wedding, back when JJWT still had 22 mos left on the mish. I wanted to be sensitive to Ry so I waited til the day AFTER I called it off.

I'd ALWAYS thought Blake was a hottie, but it was tough to get flirty amidst all of Ry's sniffles (DOWNER), but the next day when Blake leaned in, I knew it was way right, and TOTALLY worth the awkardness that Sunday at dinner when JJWT's mom asked me about the curling iron burns. Anyways, even though love LOVE love my hot hubby and would never WANT to smooch another, I should prolly play myself in the movie just for authenticities sake, so as an actor fulfilling my professional duty I would definately smooch Kirb. Kirb's perfect for the part, bc just like Blake, he's cute, blonde, WAYYY older than me and righteous. At least, Kirb USE to be righteous right, but I heard he might of gone all a postate with beer. Sad.

57 comments:

Kerry said...

Wow. Just when I think this can't get funnier.

The Howertons said...

This totally made me smile. I have his CD somewhere.... Too Funny!

Jason & Shannon said...

Oh my heck, you would still want Kirby in your movie even after he was in a BEER commercial?!?!?! I'm sure you must not have even known, but he was totally in a BEER commercial!!!

jaysbunny said...

To be sensitive to Ryan you waited until the day AFTER you called the wedding off. Does that mean that you would have made out with Blake WHILE you were still engaged to Ryan if Ryan didn't care? Did you try that with JJWT's older brother? What a way to become part of the family!!!!

*MARY* said...

Kirby's already scheduled to play my little sister in my life's movie. So you'll have to wait your turn.

Molly Doe said...

OMH! I used to totally love Kirby, but like you said, he is no longer so righteous, becuz he used himself to sell beerz. Although it might not be against the plan, because he was totally only doing it to buy things for his family, and everybody knows that buying pretty things for your wife (Especially if your wife is TAMN!) is not against the plan.

Mina said...

Your sich a grate example of moralety by waiting to m/o with bLaKe for a whole day after breaking up with his brother. I mean, gosh, you kept it in the family AND you had a piryod of morning. Wow. We should all take a lessin from sich classyness. You. R. My. Idle.

*MARY* said...

And he was NOT in a BEER commercial. It was a BEARD commercial. I'm not saying advertising beards is any better than beer, I'm just getting the facts straight.

Jane @ What About Mom? said...

So, I read the first time, thinking, huh? What the?

And then as it sinks in (perhaps I have defense mechanisms blocking understanding of such . . . uh . . . DEPTH of feeling), the smile starts really small, and by the time it's completely sunk in, I think -- THIS is the funniest one yet.

jhjonze said...

Wholesomely making out and curling iron burns. I heart TAMN!

Kristina P. said...

Not only was he in a beer commercial, but he was in a commercial where he played someone that was, well, I don't know if I can say the actual word, because it makes me blush, but "light in the loafers." I know!

Oh, and I totally thought you called Kirby a "prostate." Gross.

Motherboard said...

I would makeout with the Kirb's too. Hes hot.

If I weren't married an all that.

Kayleen the Violinist said...

When I first started reading your blog, I thought it was totally sacrilidge and I was worried that your salvation was in jepardy, but now I know that I was being pride-full. Becuz now I know that you have the gospel down patt, and you post WAYYY hot pics of Kirbs on your blog, so you must be doing something write. Thanks for blessing my life!

Whitney said...

Hah, curling iron burns.

I teared a teeny tinsy bit when I saw Kirby opening that can. DON'T DO IT!

But he didn't listen to me

kathy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shellie and Matt said...

I know U R TOTALLY Awesum at planning parties and such, but, not 2 B rude or anything, I havent seen ANYTHING for a "good bye first tri, hello second tri" party. I mean HELLO, this is coming up soon!!! And, speaking of curling iron burnz, isn't that how you and JJWT got into the most awesomely blessed situation U R in now, DOUBLE PREGGERS?? I am so awesomly blessed to know we R both living the plan..our ever afters R so happily!!

Cris, Callie, and Cayten said...

WOW, I just found your blog. It is GREAT! I have one question . . . do you have any suggestions for those of us who would like to get our blog going too?

Holly said...

OMG TAMN. Your bloggy just reminded me of that on time I got curling iron burns- but I totally just wore a darling scarf. So just incase you get triple preggers and those marks show up again, you can totally use my idea, no prob!!

Token Asian Friend said...

TAMN, we are going to have to agree to...differ. I don't care what you or DearElder.com say, Kirby Heyborne will always and forever be the perfect example of integrity and C-ingTR. (In Saints and Soldiers, he played the part of a smoker, but used a prop cigarette without tobacco! He can't always play the perfect mormon, which probably makes his heart cry!)

Sorry that our opinions vary, but I hope we can still be friends :)

Soooooo, can I play the Asian girl that Blake dates after your NCMO? And, can I have a make-out scene with him too?

Ally said...

When Kirby was Student Body Pres at Alta High, I knew he was destined for greatness.

And beer.

TriggerFinger said...

Help!! I don't get the curling iron reference. Does it have to do with a Halestorm movie? I think I watched Singles Ward, but haven't seen a Halestorm movie since then. Sorry, I'm not very righteous.

Melissa said...

WHAT?? Kirby? Seriously? This makes my heart so sad! I hadn't heard about this... it's because I don't live in Zion...

Erica said...

WOW! I heart the subject of this blog TAMN. How could you have not blogged about SoP alumneyes before? Gene-yus!

Only cuz we're like totally besties will I not cast Kirby in my life story. Plus Will Swenson is a tot'l body dubble for the 26 yr old I thought I would marry when I wuz 19. He was all mysteryus and musical and slightly bad boy- sort of like how Will tells sack-religus comedy in the Singles Ward but he's totally a catch in the end.

Except I totally biffed it back then and dumped him and now my hair is kind of getting (dirty blonde). I swear I'm one step from wearing Tina Fey glasses and getting a cat.

But at least I have some mem'ries of roller burns. Right?

shel7by said...

We met kirby the week before we went to efy and he played his guitar fro us and we thought, "that guy is going to be famous someday!" and then he was and he forgot about us and somehow being without us made him lose his way.

true story. we were way influential 16 year olds.

Amber said...

So I must be comPLETEly unrichus. (No surprises there) I had to google Halestorm movies and Kirby what's-his-face. Still so seriously loving your blog!

GladysIcanbee said...

I seriously think I'm going to have to get a diet coke and then get off it again! What a week, stressing and feeling a bit frowny myself over modest bikinis and what they cover, feeling a bit frowny for TAMN with the school/stats thing, the excitement of vikareously celebrating her birthday through the inet and the soon to be awesome twinners and now Kirby and the beer thing. I need a musical uplift, maybe a quick listen to "Never a better HEERO" and then order a TAMN tshirt

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

Hey, so do you only want one token Asian friend? Because that is just so sad considering many are so smart (Honors students!) and Lucy Lieu hotties. And even if some of us are just cute and not so hot it's still so PC to hang out with us. Diverse-ty is so hip. So can I be your friend, too?

The Wacky Waltons said...

Have you ever had a NCMO? (Non-committal make-out?) Im prety shure you woodn't do that because your so righteous, but maybe you had a NCMO or two in a totally holesome way?

Momza said...

Your Blog makes my day. I thought I was the only one who laffed at the Utah school system's lack of grammar. You dzerv a paraid in your Onner.

Momza said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrea said...

Awe-sum! How do you do it? Whatz ur inspearation? rilly?

dharvey said...

You should totolly smooch Kirb because it's just acting, and acting is just pretending to do stuff. ( Like Jenna Jameson and those in-room movies at the Marriott).

Plus, Kirb prolly tithed to the Church a lot of the money he earned from that beer commercial -so that makes it a spirichal and righteous thing to do. I think you'd make a wonderful actress and put everyone in Hollywood to shame , with your cuteness and your oppozishun to materialism and your spirritul values and stuff. Luv you !!! - D.

Erin The Great said...

Curling Iron burns... Nice!

Camille said...

Yeah. And he totally cusses now, too. He's a major postate.

rachael said...

Thanks for your sensitivity in waiting a day...a great example for us all.

Mhana said...

Dear Triggerfinger,
Sometimes you spend a lot of time getting ready for a date with an oober hot guy and it TOTALLY pays off because you have a righteous makeout after the movie and he proves that he has the gift of tongues. When you come home to prepare your Spiritual Thought for relief society the next day you look at your neck and see that it has several large reddish bruises on it. How did that happen? You don't even remember using a curling iron when you made your multi-colored locks so shiny and straight! But what other explanation could there POSSIBLY be for a richus girl with red bruises on her neck but a curling iron burn (or five)? Thank heavens for turtle necks, scarves, and wearing your hair down!
Hope that helped!

nDpndntmoose said...

hey triggerfinger . . . i think maybe TAMN might have "burnt" herself with a slightly different kind of curling iron. uhh . . . (shhh, you know, a h. i. c. k. e. y. ) kind??? but don't tell TAMN that i told you this. of course, she would only get "burns" from a real curling iron . . . of course. :D

Yvette said...

is blake still available??

cheri said...

Sooo, what are you going to teach the YW about hickeys?

kris said...

Not to be rude, but if Blake gets a part in the movie, wouldn't you have to kiss, like, A LOT of guys as a professional actor?

LivingstonClan said...

I triple LUB is TAMN--all my friends used to cover up their HICKEYS with curling iron-burns! Thought it was just a small town thing, guess it's an innocent thing, you know, so no one thinks you were immoral or anything. I totally heard Kirby said it was just a J-O-B, and he's still faithful to the true-est of Boss'!

TheKeilShpeel said...

You know what Kirbs got for his wife for that beer commercial? Health insurance! Pretty nice gift for his wifey, eh, and. I don't think he's gone quite off the depend since he just got called to be Sunday School teacher.. just to clean up those "in the bubble rumors :)"

kris said...

is THAT why ryan started drinking iced tea??

Lindsay said...

22 months left on the mish? Tamn, what happened during the other 22 months? Longingly gazing into the stars, wondering if he was looking at the same ones while participating in righteous NCMO's for sure!

Stopher and Nicolle said...

I thought I was the only one that righteously made out with brothers. I am so glad I'm not alone...but did Ryan ever find out??

Cook Family said...

Read and Voted on your poll! I thought you were visualizing no puking! I hope all is well!

Kirby said...

Very funny blog! I am WAYYY old.

TriggerFinger said...

Gosh, thanks everyone for the explanation. I just thought all the popular girls at school were just clutzes with those curling irons. Now I know, that they really are righteous babes.

Sean and Janet said...

I kept hoping the beer commercial was undercover work for a new EverClean song. Sigh! My two kids saw the commercial and that led to a whole "making right choices" talk, so I guess if I could use this instance to teach more about the plan, then it was worth his eternal damnation.

The Millers said...

I saw Kirb in the LA Temple this summer...I hope he hasn't gone all a postate with beer! He shouldn't a been in there!!!!!

ramsam said...

I remember when I heard about Madonna's backward satan stuff in the 90's. Me and my little sis smashed our CD's.

I hope Kirby repents himself quick like so I don't have to smash Sons of Provo. That is the best movie ever.....I love it when he cries over the CTR ring and real snot comes comes out.
That is some good acting for a Mormon boy.

Abby Patonai-Nelson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Abby Normal said...

KIRBY = BARF! ICKY!
TAMN GMAB!
If UR going 2 settle 4 someone who isn't on the righteous right, go for a REAL HOTTIE to compliment your HOTNESS! Afterall, it is just acting.

Chris and Rita said...

Kirby now does beer commercials.

Career = toast.

It's over. Let it go.

Chelsey said...

You know TAMNers... Kirby was at the BYU bookstore just a couple of days ago! You would've only needed to claw your way through about 80 freshmen girls to get to him too! Totally worth it.

Amber said...

oh yes.. Kirby Heybourne, He married a girl I just adore! Lets hope he can live to deserve her.

michellejohnnie said...

I went to school with Kirby and he accidentally spit on my once. So basically, I already have kissed him...and it wasn't that great! It was wet, but maybe you dig that kind of kiss!