March 6, 2009

whoa is me.

SORRY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN FOREVER! Total sLaCkEr I know plz don't hate me! Lets catch up.

So, Lynzii came to VT me yesterday and brought tons of chubbifying cookies and was all, Sorry for not being here on the first of the month. And I was like, no problem, you had your babies, congrats but sorry you had to pull an octomom and get fertility shots. And she frownsmiled and was like if it makes you feel better to think that, fine.

AKWARD!

Guys, let's just be real for a sec ok??!

Hate to wine or exagerate and I refuse to throw a pitty-party, but being 34 weeks and 4 days double-prego is the hardest thing anyone has ever done. Ever. No one understands me!! And LoverBucket still goes to school even when I need him to rub my teensy feet, AND I've put on ten ell-bees, AND had to wear maternity pants for the first time today (ew!), AND I have to go to the DTD every week and get, um, (TMI ALERT, TMI ALERT, DON'T READ IF YOU HATE TMI), my ladyparts checked.

And HeartNugget has to get me a new ring bc this week my old one shrunk...wierd. PLUS Yvette's not speaking to me AND all the Bunc/ko girls went on a girls cruise--I'm too preggy to go :(--so, if I want pedis I have to go all alone. Ugh. So, with all these trails AND Lynzii's name stealing AND having to deal with the emotions of the Batchelor this week, now I really don't know what realty shows to believe in anymore, it's hard, but helps me understand the pioneers. Guess it's just preparing me for a life of challenges, like outdoing everyone elses kids birthday parties.

60 comments:

RuthAnne said...

Oh no, why hasn't Yvette been talking to you? Maybe it's super good news and she met someone on the cruise and is madly in love and ignoring all her friends???? If so, YAY!

Rach said...

Wow, you DO have the hardest life ever! I'm sure no one could even imagine how hard it must be for you. I mean, pregnant and having to get pedis alone? HOW MUCH WORSE COULD IT GET? SO WEIRD THAT YOUR RING SHRUNK!

keighty said...

TAMN! You should be watching the Biggest Loser! Four of this season's contestants are LDS, but two of them have already been voted off. Sad. Two left, though, and every week, they just get more TAMN-like!

Rach said...

p.s. loved the exchange with Lynzii

Angela said...

Damn sounds like your world is falling apart. Seriously glad you have the faith.

The Wright's said...

You poor thing. I don't know how you are even dealing with it all.

the moms at babysteals said...

TAMN we are feeling for you. Can't wait for the FETI to be born so we can come STEAL them :)

Hosander said...

yep, you are a pioneer, no dowt abowt it.

Christin said...

TAMN I am putting your name in the temple. This is too much!

Brandon said...

Hey fatty, I notice you didn't mention you ate every one of the 24 cookies Lynzii brought you. By yourself. In your closet. And ten ell-bees? More like 60! I've seen you in church, girl. It's honestly really gross.

J-Dub said...

You are given ALL of those trails because you are the only one strong enough to ender them.

Kathryn said...

J-Dub is right! You just need to go back on bedrest (no more icky visits from icky Lynzii!) and just ender to the end. I don't know who Brandon is, but he must be married to a real fatty if he has to go around making stuff up about other people's wives to make him feel better.

muumsmusings said...

10 lbs... that is Sooo..oookay! You'll lose that just by fluttering your i-lashes (plus those post-natle walks to show off the feti, er.. babies!)

nosh on, I say!

The Boob Nazi said...

How dare he still go to school. Double ick.

Mrs. Mordecai said...

Your old ring shrunk . . . HA! I mean, sorry about that, how sad is that? Weird.

Alisa said...

Girl, you know you can call anytime and I'll go get a mani, pedi, facial and some waxing with you. And ten ell bees, no way! I wouldn't say you've gained a pound. You still look smokin hot to me.

M said...

Maybs you should ask to get released from your calling? Seriously, it's just like you are a pioneer right now!!!! It's not like pioneer women had to teach the MIA MAIDS and cross the plains. You can only handle so much, QT!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Way to cope, Tamn! I always pull out the Pioneer analogy when I'm feeling put upon. Good for you!

Marla said...

PURE GENIUS.

what's sad is that the mommy blogs really do resemble this one and when i see them i think of you TAMN. i just think of you.
and the heavens rejoice.
mockery is a gift!

Jill said...

Lynzii frownsmiled at YOU!?!?! She has a lot of nerve, especially trying to show you up by doing her VT at the beginning of the month right after she had three babies. Have you picked out new (even better) names for the feti yet?

Sadie said...

You are having the worstest day/week/trimester ever and I cry inside just thinking about it. Did you watch the Biggest Loser!? I sureously can't wait for next week to see how much tubby-man lost!

Tiffany said...

Someday your incredible trails will be fictionalized in a 17-volume series by Gerald Lund. If that makes you feel any better.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha ha Poor Tamn. I've so been there, done that, girl. For realz! And it is hard. But it does help you understand the pioneers better and why it's so challenting to trust reality (tv) and why it's so important to outdo your friends and neighbors if you want to make it to the CK first.

Alana said...

weird. my ring shrunk too. my angel babe hasn't got me a new one so i don't wear it. i haven't been hit on by a guy in a long time either. even without my shrunken ring on. double weird!!!

Martha said...

I agree with Keighty, you should watch the biggest loser, plus it will make you feel better, because they all have like a hundred pounds to lose and they weren't even preggo with feti.

Kamity said...

TAMN, all you've gotta do is use your (fake? real?) moobs to feed your feti and those 10 lbs will disappear. I will be disappointed if you don't leave the hospital in your skinny jeans. Srsly.

Chels said...

Tamn! Oh, thank the heavens we prego mommies get EXTRA BLESSINGS to help us deal with these trials.
I mean honestly, wanna read something uplifting? I was reading on how to be a "better feeling prego" and I found a website that actually said, I QUOTE "So, stop closing your pre-pregnancy pants with a looped rubber band. Nine months is a long time to adapt a wardrobe. Invest in some good maternity clothing, get a good haircut, and think about your skin care regime. Put your best foot forward (even those swollen ones) and show the world how beautiful pregnancy can be.
FIrst of all, my feeties never would get swollen! And they TOTALLY make DESIGNER maternity jeans now, so I can be in BETTER style than most thoes around me AND PREGO! You are totally good Tamn. You made is super far before you had to even THINK about Maternity clothes!!
And EVERYONE'S ring shrinks, its totally the weirdest thing!
And---you and I BOTH know the only reason you got a frown smile from 'you know who' is because she DID use fertility shots.
I am ALL FOR some medi help if needed, but don't deny it, women don't have 3 everyday normally!
my mommy used to tell me that they are just haters... green with envy, that is why they poke their frown faces around....

Shannon said...

Whoever Brandon is...you just made me laugh so hard. Sounds like a conversation I really and truly recently had with my brother in law. Funny then, and funny now. Except I'm only 5 months preggo so maybe it's not that funny that people think I've gained 60 ell bees!!!!

ramsam said...

I can't believe you had to get a pedi alone! That is completely questionable of your friends to put you through that. They better bring you home some coastal jewelry purchases to make up for it!

Matchbox Mom said...

((hugs))
I totally understand...blah. Good thing you're still super righteous and beautiful.

kris and judd said...

You so didn't deserve a frownsmile from Octomom Lynzii. Clearly you were just pointing out her trails to encourage her to be more pioneer-like (she's probably from the East Coast and doesn't have a family tree like yours stock-full of Youngs and other famous church people!).

GladysIcanbee said...

TAMNers! you poor thing!! I know you're having the hardest life ever,yes you, not Melissa, not the poor people in NAFRICA, not the unemployed and homeless, it's clearly you! Shall we come rub your teensy feet?! I'll bring you a pork salad AND a matching apron set from the flirty apron place at the mall.... betcha the PIONEERS wish they had a flirty apron store while crossing the plains with their frump ones....

GladysIcanbee said...

TAMNers! you poor thing!! I know you're having the hardest life ever,yes you, not Melissa, not the poor people in NAFRICA, not the unemployed and homeless, it's clearly you! Shall we come rub your teensy feet?I hope you can still tie your own way cute shoes! I'll bring you a pork salad AND a matching apron set (one for you; one for the feti princess) from the flirty apron place at the mall.... betcha the PIONEERS wish they had a flirty apron store while crossing the plains with their frump ones....

Brandilyn said...

just found your blog. laughing butt off. thxgirl.

Kayleigh said...

I'm so sorry. This post made my heart hurt a little. That Lynzii >:( She makes me so mad, in a completely un-judgmental, absolutely righteous way.

I'll get pedis with you.

Michael and Megan Gery said...

Dont worry TAMN, all these things shell work together for the good of your kids birthday partees.

Stephanie said...

TEN pounds??!?!?! Oh my flippin gosh, TAMN, I admire your honesty, really I do. But, ten pounds? I thought you were only having twins? That is so gross. I'm so sorry for you, you must be seriously stressing over Lynzii to have gained TEN POUNDS! I'm so proud of you for being 4th coming ann all, but, as your ebff, I'm umberrist for you. All my love, hun. Please don't eat those cookies from Lynzii!

Princess Danell said...

I think you need to watch a couple of hours of Real Housewives of (fill in the blank). That really makes me analyze my priorities. I mean, those women have it all! Luckies! Something to strive for.

Camille said...

Oh poor you! So, SO sorry for your humongous trials! You are going to be a spiritual giant after all this. ((huggs!))

LittleLovables said...

What a tough time! Just focus in making the fetis nursery way cute and then you can enter it to win nursery designer contests and stuff. Look at it as a charity project for the babies.

LittleLovables said...

What a tough time! Just focus in making the fetis nursery way cute and then you can enter it to win nursery designer contests and stuff. Look at it as a charity project for the babies.

Anonymous said...

TAMN, you are such an inspration. I finally fill some compassion for octomom, because she's just like the pioneers! I hadn't thought of it before, but she has so many many kids like them, and is being persecuted, and no hubbie like some of them had hubbies away on missions (frown) or married to other people (double frown). Thanx!

e & d said...

Cheer up TAMN, only a few weeks till Twilight on DVD!!! you can watch it from bed all day long!

Bee and Rose said...

You poor girl! Maternity pants!!!! (but they sure are comfortable, aren't they!)

Love your blog..I'm sure you've heard this a zillion times...YOUR BLOG FLIPPIN ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF!

Hang in there!

Holly said...

Wow I've never seen someone with so many comments. Is this like your entire world commenting or what?

melissarmills@gmail.com said...

Ummmm...I'm (almost) speechless!
I do hope that you can somehow survive these trials. Maybe next week when the news comes out that Jason dumped Molly it will help to make up for the solitary pedi. (I know that's what I'm holding on for.)

Token Asian Friend said...

The fact that you have the strength to wake up every morning with your alone-in-my-suffering pout amazes me!

Marci and Morgan said...

I love you tamn.

Emily said...

TAMN, no what, I think you should do the How Well Do You Know Youre Husband thing on youre blog. The one were you tell us all what kind of salad dressing JJWT would get and what he watches on TV, and who he voted for, and his shoe size and about his uniqe talents.

My cousin just did it, but I think maybe she deleted it because it doesn't show on her blog. Don't know why, because those are SO DARLING!!!!!!

Ikspecialy since you and JJWT are so ment for each other and so blessed. ANd we are all SO CURIOUS about his FAVE cereal!!!!

This will help you count youre blessings and you will feel better about the Lynzii thing since oviously JJWT is better than her hubby!

angela said...

Oh, TAMN, you had me at "but helps me understand the pioneers." You are the queen of the snark. What is so hilarious (and SAD) is how often other people's blogs sound just like this (unintentionally, and unironically). You CTR, girlfriend, hang in there.

Synergy Girl said...

Well, I do know what being 35 weeks prego with ONE feels like, so I am going to bow down in awe that you are still alive with TWO...BUT...I am kinda sick that you JUST NOW had to put on maternity pants...!! I refuse to wear those suckers, but give in somewhere near the 30-some-odd week mark....but I do buy pants each size up, so I have pants each size down...yes, I know...SMART! Good luck, and if you were here, I would TOTALLY hit a pedi with ya!

Julie Hanks said...

TAMNers, I am seriously concerned that you're suffering from (empathetic whisper) "depression" (frownsmile). Click on the therapist ad on the top left of your own cute bloggy and I'll help you turn that frowny upside downy. A permafrown is not pretty. Luv ya!

thecapitall said...

Your strength gives me courage, TAMNers!!

Em said...

Oh my heck Tamn! You seriously know how to make us laugh! Really and truly, there are women who write this way and people read it! (Sorry, just threw up a bit in my mouth!) Di you know we are adopting, like either next Tuesday or the week after! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! So hopefully I'll be one of those women who is walking through the store and all the women secretly will hate me because there is no way I could look this hot and be a new Momma! (Sorry, but again just threw up a bit in my mouth, sick!!!) LOL! Keep making us laugh-and that Brandon guys made me laugh because I think it is hilarious when people are hateful or take everything seriously!

AMY! said...

Tamn, you should try losing a few! When I was preggo with Twinners I only gained 5 pounds when I delivered ON MY DUE DATE! (PS I never had to wear maternity pants! If you wanna go get a pedi I can tell you my secrets!!!)

Mandy said...

Totally equally as hard of a trial as the pioneers.

Mike Walker said...

Totally equal? UM are you serious? this is way worse.

Anonymous said...

I think Yvette isn't talking to you because she finally realized that you are a sniveling, self-centered princess.

Sweet Angel said...

Your life is Hard? Come to the 4th floor of Primary Children"s Hospital and visit the kids with cancer and then your shoes will feel much better.

brossettelewis said...

{crying} If TAMN is getting fat there's no hope for any of us anymore. :( This is a sad sad day.

TAMN I made it 34 w/ twins, you can do it! But them I got fat and all so I don't know what to tell you from here on out. Frownsmile!