May 11, 2009

back in the preverbial nuzzle saddle

**tmi alert**

Sooo, I wanted to post a tribute to my mommy with a darling pic of us together from my wedding, but this is way more urgent.


Today I'm going to the DTD for my six week check up, you know, down there.


Basically I've heard the DTD is going to check out my, ahem, to be technicle, "choo-chee" and then give me the green light and AngelCutie and I are back in business, soda speak.


Ack!

{higher, less enthusiastic slash way more concerned & whinny "BAAAAA!"}

Don't get me wrong, we have always had a GREAT great nuzzle life, but guys only 6 wks ago I had two twins....NATURALLY! The whole thing is seriously just kinda scarry.

I mean, I look hotter than ever, trust me it's defiantly not a body image thing, but w/ my third degree tear all heeled, and then official time to, um, get busy again, am I seriously ready to nuzzle? Will everything be normal in the nether regions of the south? Should I be nervious? About, you know, THAT? Should I fib and tell HoneyBunz the doc said to wait a couple more months?


**blush**


I'm way open but also way shy so plz, PLZ, if you have any advise, make sure its only in absurd euphemisms. Love you!

*cringe*

108 comments:

Jami said...

Wow! Today's MY 6 week appt. with the DTD, too! I feel the same way as you, though. Weird enough, a few weeks ago, I coulda jumped my sweeties bones just fine, but tonight? Yeah, not so sure. What happened? Why is it we're so nervous? For me, sadly, it is a body image thing. I lost quite a bit of weight with this pregnancy, which, you know, includes lefty and righty's, how you say? "umph". My sweet man's a big fan of "umphy" lefties and righties, so I'm a little hesitant in sharing my non-voluptuousness again. Sorry I don't have any advice, but maybe just an "I'm right there with ya, honey". Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I would definitely go with "the doctor said we should probably wait at least another month since my tiny, fragile body has been through so much".

Good luck Tamn!

Laurie said...

Um, maybe you should say that you're not ready for him to plant his, um, seed until planting season because you're not ready for another meatloaf bun in the oven. I'm just saying.

debbie said...

K-Y
'nuf said.

Kari said...

Nuzzling? What about canoodling?!

Becke said...

seriously, you waited to nuzzle until after your doctor appointment? koodos to you!

Krista said...

So are you going to try for a little sister for Tridger and Alivyiah? Or are you... (gulp).. going to use some sort of ... (can hardly say it)... birth control?

You're still righteous and all... right?

Also, I know we're friends, but I can't believe you used the technicle term ("choo-chee"). Gross.

Becke said...

You can do it!!! Just don't forget protection.

Sarah said...

It's NEVER "back to normal" girly--so, so sorry.

Jenna said...

Oh man. Just be careful, I guess.

(I'd prolly lie.)

Alana said...

So, now that the twinsies are out, your "No vacancy" sign is coming down and the "Open for business" sign is going up? I also wondered if my nether regions would be back to normal. I was "out of order" a little longer than 6 weeks... didn't heal! Don't worry TAMN, eventually, it will all snap back to normal. Good luck honey!

Paula said...

My friend waited 4 months after her 4th degree tear and 100+ stitches. we told her to grab some KY and go for it. You'll feel like a woman, and not just a mom. DO IT. JJWT has been working hard with finals and his internship stuff and he deserves it. What did he get you for your first mothers day?

Michelle said...

ha!

Jennifer said...

my DTD told me if i wasn't ready even though my 4th degree tear (way worse than 3rd degree) was healed i could give my anglenugget a bottle of lotion and send him in the other room. yeah seriously. but we all know that didn't happen. i buckled down and had the best uh nuzzle fest of my life.

Public Artist said...

Um, Tamn, I heard Lynzii is already trying for triplets again and that is why she quit breastfeeding.

I'm just saying.

brossettelewis said...

Twins means you have to double the 6wks, so at 12 wks you should be good to go.

Julie Hanks, LCSW said...

TAMNers, you really need to come in for a therapy sesh to process your nuzzle anxiety, stat!

Token Asian Friend said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill Revell said...

You make me laugh so hard!

Jackie said...

My DTD offered to let me name my own ready date and she'd then write out a "prescription" as proof. I LOVE her. Of course this is why I chose to see a woman. If you then choose to break the "prescription" then JJWT will just think he lucked out. Both of you are happy.

Casey and Jeannie said...

TAMN. My doctor told me it was ok to start nuzzling again, but instead I told my husband that he recommended that because I was stressed I should take a getaway first.

So my sista and I went to Vegas.

Marcia said...

What ever you do, don't start BC, mattress mambeau is for BABY MAKING only. BC is for people who don't follow the plan.

Grace said...

Tamners, everything will be fine. Just tell your doc and cutiepiehunnybunch that it is righteouser to wait for 8 weeks. I mean, seriously. Also, if you start this new trend, so many others will follow! Then waiting to nuzzle until 8 weeks post baby day will be all the rage!

Whitney R said...

It can be choochee, chonchee, or if your Oprah, Vajayjay.

I don't know about you, but it's not the easiest thing to work around a belly. And I'm not even very far along, so since you no longer have any sort of shadow of a belly to worry about - your fine! Nuzzle up!

Laurie said...

So glad you asked, Tamn! What are e-bffs for, if not to give advice on a couples' intimacy? It's great that you came to all of us, first, instead of HoneyBunz. Being a guy, he would never understand.
You should totes tell him that nuzzling has to wait! It's so much fun for you both to build all that *nuzzle* tension. It's like you're engaged again!

Laura said...

Obviously, the worst thing possible for your marriage would be to have an honest convo with JJWT, so if you think it's too early to nuzzle, I would tell him that your doctor said you have a minor infection in your choo chee that might spread to his staff of life in circumstances of nether-region colocalization. You could go back to the "doctor" (i.e. Anthro) for regular checkups and let him know when his gonads are once again safe.

Rebecca said...

Lie, lie, lie. You will be so much happier without the pain AND you won't have to take any of the blame because like you said, you can blame it on the doctor.

AzĂșcar said...

If you guys want to starting making the bed again, I mean, seriously? HE has to KNOW you just had natural twinzers! Totes tell him that the DTD told you that you're not allowed to hang up his phone anymore. BECAUSE FOR REAL!!!

Susan said...

Uh...TMI!

myimaginaryblog said...

I would need an eleven-foot pole to go anywhere near this one.

But, um, good luck!

Nancy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh MY. TAMN, you make me laugh sooo sooo sooooooooo very much.

Withold! Fib! don't let "honeybunz" touch your ummm, "honeybunz" unless you want him to. :)

Lindsey said...

Yes, you should be nervous. But if you use lots of... um... nuzzle jelly {blush} that should help.

Good luck TAMNers. I'm sure your gonna do great because your richeous and a great nuzzle life is one of the blessings of a temple marriage.

Maren Hansen said...

Personally, I find the headache card to work like a charm every time... ;)

Help Que and Brittany Adopt said...

I think you should tell your Nuzzlebuns that being in a way classy place like Hawaii or the Anniversary Inn would make your 1st post-partum act of banging on the old typewriter TONZ better.

Christa said...

I am laughing so hard right now, and I know it's wrong because this is super serious, but, I can't help it.
Soooo.... after I had my twinners, the nuzzling was so awesome. I mean AAAHHHHWWWWW-SOME

Cristin said...

I hate to break it to you, but it still will probably hurt your wah-wah to do the hibbity dibbity 6 weeks after popping out the twins.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Sorry, fresh out of absurd euphemisms. I'm rooting for you, though!

adailydose said...

you should have had a c-section-- that way you could have nuzzled right after your babies entered your righteous home. 6 weeks is a killer, how do you even handle that?

delore said...

Nuzzle is as nuzzle does.

Jamie said...

I just pretended it hurt too much for months. I have a 9 month old and have prefect birth control ;0

Anonymous said...

"preverbial" and "soda speak"?
You are a genius. On my cousin's blogs in the last few weeks I've seen the phrases "rule the roose" and "sex feen". I swear sometimes you cut and paste!

MamaBear said...

well, girlfriend, it WILL get back to as fab as before. the bad news is, it takes a little practice. if you don't feel quite up to it yet PHYSICALLY, wait a little longer. JJWT being the great guy that he is, he'll understand. but whenever you do, it will probably be AWKWARD (or uncomfortable) for a couple of nuzzles, so to speak.

go slow and use plenty of jelly. you'll be fine - women have second babies all the time, so you know they're getting back to being "bizzee!"

Sarah said...

{frownsmile}
this is why you should have done the c-sec, TAMN. I know they say to wait 6 weeks, but seriously- you haven't yet?!
sad.

The Bronson Bunch said...

Wow! I can't even imagine how scary that could be! I would take a deep breath and wait another month! ;-)

Mrs.EBG said...

So, it's just like your first time except way better! Just go for it! Put on a super sexy nightie and go for it! HoneyBunz and you need some nuzzle time, and you'll be glad you did it!

This is Carrie said...

Sounds like you need to get out of the candle/jewelry/pampered chef home party biz and get into the "Nuzzling" Home Party Biz to get back into the right frame of mind.

So sad.

mindy said...

You can always ask the DTD to prescribe more time. That way, you're not lying to JJWT. Get a note if necessary. You know, like in 9th grade when you needed a note from your mom to skip PE because it was your first time wearing a tampon. It's all the same.

Anonymous said...

Sorry. No advice here. I couldn't wait more than 2 1/2 weeks. Maybe that's why I have 3 kids under 3.

Matt "The Bull" said...

Natural eh? (http://bitterbarn.wordpress.com/2007/09/19/going-natural/) didn't know you had it in ya.
dude just go for it. you alrady pushed two watermelons outta that cat. Are you afraid its gonna hurt??? or that you woun't ahem you know (find your happy place.) Doesn't matter to him. I gay run tee it.
matt

killerqueen92 said...

Haha, this is the first time I've seen an empty comment box!!! And this post is five hours old!! Uh-oh, TAMN, I think it really was tmi, our lds.org firewalls blocked it out!! But advice-wise, I would normally say to ask your mia maids, but you might have to consult the laurels on this one... Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I love how you use "euphemisms" and "soda speak" in the same post. -C

Shari said...

Trust me...it will NOT be fun. I say wait another year or so...just to be safe. I'm sure hubby won't mind waiting.

But, if you do decide to venture there...take 3 or 4 Vicodin first.

Tay said...

Totally lie. Too soon for any kind of nuzzles. I mean, come on! You can even ask the DTD to say that so you WON"T be lying. Win Win!

Anonymous said...

scary at first, but really totally dew-able! you gotta have faith

natalie said...

I fibbed and told the hub we had to wait 6-8 months instead of 6-8 weeks to get back in the saddle again.

Just an idea.

Plang said...

Tell him the truth - there is a sharp-toothed snail living down there now. The exterminator will take care of it in a few weeks.

Gack!

Kristen said...

This is a first. I see ZERO comments?! Maybe my browser needs to be updated. No way could I be first.

I know the angst you feel! You will be fine. Just decide after you see the DTD whether or not you agree with his assessment. Because, even though he is a DR. you know your body way better than he/she does. Maybe you should just start with some smooching... then see where it goes from there. JJWT will understand. I can tell because he totally gets you.

Jesse_Jay87 said...

Ha o dear.

Eva Aurora said...

I'll bite. TAMN, you know it's going to be just fine, right? Just ask the doc about Kegels.

Katrina said...

Hmmm... Rome wasn't built in a day.. or 6 weeks! Your doctor will tell you when YOU are ready... so technically if you decided another few months, your doctor is telling you that too!!!!

Jen said...

After my first baby, I was a little more stretched out, you know, down there, and since my hunny is rather, well *gifted* in that department (as I’m sure yours is) it was a lot more, uh, easy going than before our cutest tyke’s birth. I say try it out! (You can always complain later that the DTD doesn’t know your body as well as you and that he made a mistake!)

Lili said...

Euphamisms! Such a big word--TAMN, that's the first time you totally made me have to google a definition!

Anyway... I heard that ice cream always tastes better in the summer, fwiw ;)
Good luck, girlie-girl.

Brooke said...

"darling pic of us together from my wedding" ... how many of my friends' blogs do you read, TAMN?!

momodafoxes4 said...

awwwww...you poor dear! Just make sure to use some protection..you are your most fertile in the 8 week post partum period...unless you want another bundle of joy less than a year after your twinsies! Um..well...advice??? non refrigerated jelly stuff and um...and a proceed with caution sign??? Good luck with *ahem* all that....

A little bit of crazy.... said...

so, what's a ephespism?

Lubricate and inebriate. In your case (if you don't feel comfortable getting sloshed) you can just pretend. I heard that works.

Jennifer said...

Don't worry TAMN nuzzling can be a daunting thing after childbirth but its like riding a bicycle. Once you get back on you'll forget you ever left. Don't forget to get a back to nuzzle foot massage and back rub from angelbabe. That will ease you back into things.

Brandilyn said...

deff time to get procreatin again!

Mennears said...

no one no's what to say...so awkward

Anonymous said...

Well, with not one but two distractions, I'd say your nuzzle time is doomed, anyways, so no worries there-- unless, of course, your true luv doesn't mind a four some in your bed.

Danielle Kuhns said...

tell him that you have to wait until you get your strength back.. helloo you are up with twins all night and day.

Shannon said...

TAMN, judging by the amount of comments it looks like this is gonna be one preverbial "ride" on the "nuzzle saddle" that you might have to make on your own...--that is, not that you should ride your OWN preverbial "saddle" but um...{euphemisms confuze me!} maybe you should explayne to JJWT that the DTD said you should wait 12 weeks instead of 6 since you popped out two babers instead of one...? {frown-smile} Sorry, TAMN, it's all I got. You are seriously so strong slash modest to approach all your e-bffs about such a delicut subject.

Chrissie said...

Maybe you can use some of those luna beads to give you back your confidence.

Mhana said...

Well I'm no expert, so I'll hold forth. I think this is a perfect opportunity for JJWT to prove how much he loves you with trips to Anthro, or anything else your heart desires. I'm sure he is too righteous to read/look at/listen to any information about a ladies' naughty bits because knowledge is porn. I'm guessing he wouldn't know if you said according to the doctor your princess region needed to be prepared by you getting as much romancing as you got while you were engaged. Plus if you're feeling nervous all that pseudo dating (with Glamma watching the snuggledoots so that you keep the romance of being single) will get ya in the mood. Plus, the more despret JJWT gets the more beautiful your home will become! Win-win!

Mollie said...

absurd euphemisms. TAMN do you know what those words mean??? love you. Got my Kick-A shirt in the mail today.

James and Sarah Narramore said...

haha..you crack me up. I was super nervous to nuzzle my honey when I got the okay too. Just be open and let your honey know how you are feeling and you'll be okay. Good luck!

Megan Gery said...

"soda speak?" is that one of the weird euphemisms you mentioned? if so, i shudder to think what it references. i thought you were way more richus than that, TAMN!

Wells said...

don't worry TAMN, it's six weeks for EACH baby :-) so you've got a reprieve until almost July.

Callista said...

Well this is my absolute first visit but I'm not shy about these subjects. I had a 4th degree tear, the worst. In fact it lead to worse problems that needed surgery later on but anyways...

It will be sore if you do it right after 6 weeks but if you take it really slow and easy, it's possible. If there is something more to this than having twins 6 weeks ago and having a 3rd degree tear that I don't know about, sorry, like I said, first visit. I would have been happy to wait longer but you know how hubbies can be.

Richard J. said...

I think that you have let JJWT suffer for too long now. You need to apply the golden rule and try to figure out how he feels without your...nuzzle time.

Plus. Fibbing is a sin.

What would Jesus do?

KIM ARNIE AND AJ said...

OMG I can't believe i'm the only one who's good enough a friend to comment. So here the thing, pray about it that's for sure and if you have ot lie to JJWT to protect him from serious rejection pain...do it. Nothing is worth the "choo-chee" pain post naturally birthing TWINNERS tamn!!

Cindy said...

Tell Angelbabe that is is 6 weeks per baby past in the birth tunnel of ritchusness!

Micah and Melinda said...

Hahaha I love that no one has posted their loving advice here! TAMN all I can say is good luck... maybe everything will have healed better than new and nuzzling will be even better than before!

DangGina said...

of all the rotten luck...how do i keep not winning? (notice i didn't call myself a LOSER. umm, no.)

The G Fam said...

Oh my heck Tamn, you could TOTALLY go another few months with no nuzzling. First, use the wonderful excuse "the Dr. said I need to wait at least two more months" and than of course, I would have expected you to already be well versed on the "ooh honey, my head hurts" or "oh honey, my (whatever you would like to pick) hurts" or "I am to tired after taking care of the twins!" If all else fails, just use the wonderful excuse,"honey, I just started y period!" and fain horrid cramps and such (unless you are one of THOSE women who do the dance whenever.) EWWWW, Tamn, I may have just thrown up a little in my mouth!!!!

Brook said...

At my 6 week appointment the doc actually DID make me wait. And then at my 8 week appointment... she made me wait again! And then again! My poor hubby! 3 months later I just said "screw it" (teehee) and skipped my umpteenth follow up and gave myself the green light! I mean come on, how was I supposed to get started on number 2 without practicing first!

Anonymous said...

Seriously? You haven't nuzzled yet? Poor, poor, JJWT! It's amazing he can even think threw his finals with all that pent-up, um, well, you know.

Anonymous said...

Just remember, even if it isn't as perfect as pre-TwINNers, it's still more than Yvette's getting.

(and I assume we'll have a pole to answer)

Jo Jensen said...

TAMN, I can't beleive you would wait this long to come to all your E-BFFs a bout this! Tho we all know that whatever you choos will be the richus thing, you still could have gotten this advise from us sooner!

Nuzzling makes happy parents, don't your twins deserve happy parents? {even if it is in another month or so}

Speaking of happy children, your Pyzam pictur is outer date! After all of the create-tivity you put in to the twins names and they're still cute fetus A and B?
{frownsmile}

wende said...

ok, two things. one - there's LOTS of stuff you can do besides the actual nuzzle act. if you're really that scared, you should do some of that kind of stuff for a little while and you'll both be happy.

and two. how come you have been able to wait for SIX weeks? i have never been this good. nuzzling is just too good.

Little Lovables said...

well, I had to wait for over 2 months b/c I had a VACUUM delivery, and that thing does a good job at tearing!

maybe you can bat your spidery lashes and the DTD can write you a little like "absensce slip" like they give for missing work and school and stuff, but for angelbabes to wait alittle more since it will be all official

Chelsea said...

Keep in mind that you don't have to involve the choo-chee to have great nuzzling time! Hopefully JJWT is aware of this.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who told her angelbabe that the doctor had actually SEWN HER SHUT when he stitched her up, and that in (however many weeks) she would go back to the doctor so he could take out all the stitches...TRUE STORY, NOT LYING! And it worked. It's so important to wait until you're READY to do the deed!!!

Shari said...

I think it's so funny how everyone thinks they are leaving the 'first' comment and they're so surprised.

People..it's becuz she has to approve them first.

So, TAMN, what did you decide to do???

Janae said...

You waited the whole six weeks. I was ready (even with a broken tale bone) at 2 weeks. It was so fun

Anonymous said...

You've waited too long already. The doctors say that 2 weeks is enough. Anything after that is "excuses." But be sure to have plenty of KY!

Jess said...

I know it's kind of a weird thought cause you just did the whole labor thing not too long ago, but saddle up and ride it cowgirl! Your man is dying to have a little you and him time.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

LOLolOLolOL

You silly goose, Tamn!

You just get that choo-chee train back on the track!

Robert and Sherry Leal said...

For me, nuzzling as soon as I could (6 weeks after) defnitly made me fil more desirable and less like a cow--milking all day, everyday. Know what I mean? Speshily with twins, I'm sure you do. My advice? Let loose and go for it! As long as the DTD gives you the green light, I say the party's on!

Ann said...

I would say call Doctor Laura and see what she says?!?!? :)

Kathleen said...

Um, sorry Tamn, but I'm gonna hav 2 use some teknical terms here so u knw what I mean. Make shur u put a "banana cosy" on "JJWT Jr." becuz even though some people think you can't, you acshually can get preggo when u're brestfeeding. Lurve ya!

Jillybean said...

You can always tell fertile-bucket that the DTD said that you're supposed to wait 6 weeks for each baby.

thegirlnextdoor said...

maybe you should pray about it?

Kat Green said...

Over a hundreds comments so far! Goes to show ya, there's no such thing as TMI!! I think you should ask that lady shrink who advertises on your awesome site to write a guest column for ALL of our enlightenment. Can Yvette handle it?

Sophia Films said...

Just remember how fun NCMO without the DTR used to be and that should get the engines running!

Mama said...

There is really only one thing you need to do. You can't keep waiting or his rightchous seed will begin to accumulate and get painful. So just start with prayer, and then, if your still nervoused, get a priesthood blessing.

He is so rightchous, he will totally have inspiration to know what to say in you're hour of need.

Once you have become the fruit of his looms again, you TOTALLY need to write a letter in to the Ensign for The Random Sampler. This is the kind of truly inspiring story women want to read about....not about broken down car miracles and stuff. This is the stuff of The Plan.

Megan said...

I completely understand. I have a 1 year old and just had twins in December. So my babies aren't even 9 months apart because the twins decided to come way early. But, I actually used that excuse with my hubby to buy some more time. Take as much time for you as you need.

Kathi said...

This is all very strange. Not the posts - the comments. Kinda freakin' me out.
Please no hate mail.

Sarra said...

Seriously, I know it was only 6 weeks ago, but JJWT is on a freight train right now headed to one place at faster than the speed of light, and no amount of lies or anything will make him re-route. So get some can-go-anywhere-on-a-person's-body massage oil, let him give you a much needed massage, and get him off his train. The connection that's made between the two of you after being apart for so long FEELS SO MUCH BETTER that first time back!